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Celibacy

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Are we to stay celibate always.. even in marriage? Because I don't think I can do this.. Will Krishna not accept me if I have sex within marriage? And If I do have sex in marriage I would practice it with tantra.. Is this OK?? I kind of feel depressed over this..

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Are you a follower of ISKCON? If you are, then no, sex for any reason other than procreation is forbidden, even within marriage. Before you have sex, in ISKCON, both you and your spouse have to chant at least fifty rounds of the Hare Krishna Maha-Mantra. I don't know what Narayana Maharaj of the Gaudiya Math teaches exactly, but he said to me in an email that "I am not responsible for your behaviour in Grihasta ashram".

 

However, most other Hindus do not view sex so negatively. Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami states in Dancing with Siva:

 

"The purpose of sexual union is to express and foster love's beautiful intimacy and to draw husband and wife together for procreation. While offering community guidance, Hinduism does not legislate sexual matters. Aum."

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Are we to stay celibate always.. even in marriage? Because I don't think I can do this.. Will Krishna not accept me if I have sex within marriage? And If I do have sex in marriage I would practice it with tantra.. Is this OK?? I kind of feel depressed over this..

 

Here is what i understand from Gita and the iskcon reference given by Mike.

 

Gita 3:34 There are principles to regulate attachment and aversion pertaining to the

senses and their objects. One should not come under the control of such attachment and aversion, because they are stumbling blocks on the path of self-realization.

 

(Aversion to sex with wife could also become a stumbling block in self-realization :ponder:)

 

Since uncontrollable lust is a stumbling block to self-realization it has to be tamed with intellect(3:40-41).

 

In 3:36 Arjuna asks about the reason for sinful acts and Krishna says in 3:37 that uncontrolled lust is responsible for sinful activities.

 

It doesn't appear(for me) that these verses have any bearing on conjugal relationship b/n husband and his wife.

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Are we to stay celibate always.. even in marriage? Because I don't think I can do this.. Will Krishna not accept me if I have sex within marriage? And If I do have sex in marriage I would practice it with tantra.. Is this OK?? I kind of feel depressed over this..

 

of course not !! no one is supposed to remain celibate through his entire life . people should marry and lead a devotional life . and i think that refraining from sex except for procreation is practically an extreme rare phenomenon .

 

the fact that you are concerned about krishna before marrying is a proof in itself that he is the first priority in your life . we are bound to be doomed the day when we forget that he is our first priority . after marraige one should cling on to krishna more steadfastly lest he gets attached to material things in a moment of neglect !! attachment to material things and forgetfullness towards god is very easy to come ........!

 

but it is also true that pure brahmacharya(tough as hell) is extremely(infact continence yeilds maximum results ) conducive towards realizing him ..

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Namaskaram,

 

As far as I know, married or not, it does't guarantee moksha, I mean marital status has nothing to do with getting or not getting moksha. To attain moksha one has to work hard for it. Perhaps any senior members like to add in something? Thank you.

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Believe it or not, it is absolutely natural. Detachment from matter is a natural byproduct of love of God. Don't worry, it just happens. We always have a choice, spirit or matter. Eventually the sham of matter becomes just too apparent.

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Believe it or not, it is absolutely natural. Detachment from matter is a natural byproduct of love of God. Don't worry, it just happens. We always have a choice, spirit or matter. Eventually the sham of matter becomes just too apparent.

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1-We preceive a "Higher Taste" in spirituality and take some steps down the path of detachment.

 

2-When we realise how long life could last we wonder about the notion that "If we renounce now, we will yearn later" [like a dieting fat person who forgets that there will still be a box of biscuits on the shelf for consumption later--yet this dieting fat person feels compelled to devour the biscuits and thus ruin the diet regimen].

 

3-We become "conditioned" to become the person that our ego defines that we are sexual beings. Next, we learn to "Transcend being a sexual being"

Yet furthermore, we subtly convince our minds that "If I am human participant of this world, I must deserve to have some common pleasure, lest I be judge non-human" ---this is a trick of the mind.

 

Anyway, "regulating" ones activities takes time. And the final goal is to see that the "All-in-all-goal" is beyond temporal delights.

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Also, remember that when resting comfortably ---that the feeling of 'comfort' is the embrace of Maya's form & energy. Maya's lulling attraction is misplaced when sought in others forms known by other names . . .

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Believe it or not, it is absolutely natural. Detachment from matter is a natural byproduct of love of God. Don't worry, it just happens. We always have a choice, spirit or matter. Eventually the sham of matter becomes just too apparent.

 

Very inspiring Prabhuji!! Yamunacharya has a similar saying:

 

yadavadhi mama cetah krsna-padaravinde

nava-nava-rasa-dhamanudyata rantum asit

tadavadhi bata nari-sangame smaryamane

bhavati mukha-vikarah sustu nisthivanam ca

 

"Ever since I have been in the transcendental loving service of Krishna, realizing ever new pleasure in Him, whenever I think of sex pleasure, I spit at the thought and my lips curl with distaste."

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Namskaram,

 

If One person doesnot marry means he is not elligible for moksha?

 

pls clrarify this doubt?

 

What gave you that impression?

 

Yea maybe if you aren't a lawyer or a doctor you won't get moksha either. Not if you don't finish your greens either!

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Are we to stay celibate always.. even in marriage? Because I don't think I can do this.. Will Krishna not accept me if I have sex within marriage? And If I do have sex in marriage I would practice it with tantra.. Is this OK?? I kind of feel depressed over this..

 

I can tell you with reasonable certainty that most Iskcon devotees don't practise celibacy within marriage. Personally I've never seen it as some big sin to, unless you made a vow not to (ie initiation), but it simply isn't Krishna Conscious. Then again, neither is going to the cinema, or other activities like that.

 

In the Bhagavatam 3rd Canto, even the sage Kashypya gives into lust for his wife, so don't feel bad or guilty. Then again, Prabhupada says in that purport that children born of lust are more likely to be demoniac by nature, like Hiranyaksha and Hiranyakasipu in that example.

 

So, do what you can really. Just don't get into guilt spirals or anything like that. If you cannot cultivate celibacy, then it will be much easier to cultivate humility. Just my input, I'd recommend that you get other people's opinions.

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sex in marrage is good like everything else in proportion , its when sex ( expression of love in a physical way) turns to lust and desire starts to cloud the mind , then does it become harmful. there is time for everything. this is the second stage in life , the householder, just think of god and this is god's toy to you to enjoy only for a while, enjoy with god's blessing and still try to keep your focus on the real things.

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If you are able to offer the fruits of sex to God, then perhaps it will lighten the situation. Find the divine love in your marriage, and everything will work out smoothly, nothing to worry about. There are so many paths, and they all eventually lead to the same thing. Some are just faster and more intense (tapasya). You had already chose to get married, and not to be a renunciate. Both renunciates and married men can make sturdy yogis. If you choose to have sex, then do it in moderation as to not heavily deplete the supply of semen.

 

Be careful as to your thoughts, if you keep them on sexual desire it will keep you in the lower chakra.

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Are we to stay celibate always.. even in marriage? Because I don't think I can do this.. Will Krishna not accept me if I have sex within marriage? And If I do have sex in marriage I would practice it with tantra.. Is this OK?? I kind of feel depressed over this..

 

 

Arjuna had several wives and girl friends and yet he got the Vishwaroopa Darshan of SriKrishna, because Krishna decided to show him that Universal form.

 

In my opinion and understanding, although still evolving, we all remain in different steps towards our evolution. As per Krishna's words, we dont get down, but only go upwards birth after birth. So if your mind wants to have sex with your wife, (She is after all your wife), there is no need for you to control and torture your marriage and marital blliss, because spirutual wisdom does not come overnight. Its climbing step by step. In course of time, you by yourself and your wife might get bored with the physical aspect of love, but will still love each other emotionally and stay together. This is evolution of mind in understanding of God.

To practice abstinence, that is why some of the days in every month like Ekadasi, Dwadasi or on Pradosha days, we observe fasting because when stomach is empty, there will not energy for sex and moreover, a mind engaged in mundane activity gets a break and can better concentrate on the Divine.

 

On the whole, no two individuals in this world are in same level or plane of spiritual maturity for anyone to give a right answer as what is right and what is wrong and who is going to Vaikunta after this birth and who will take birth again, because this whole process by itself is again decided by HIM and even our own actions are decided by Him.

 

As long as your physical pleasures remain within the context of your marriage and only between you and your wife, it is okay to pursue and still pray to Lord and you are not going to be punished. God is not a task master holding a whip all the time...

 

Krishna's best friend Kuchela (Sudhama) had 27 children, and comeon, those were born out of his pleasures, but he also paid the price of putting them in hunger. But yet Krishna did not leave him when Sudama went to Him for help. Basically anything we do materially, we also face the next step of that action materially. We all go through this cycle and in course of evolution of the soul, the soul understands the detachment process and in that birth, you wont feel like having sex at all..

 

I hope my explanation helps.

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Are we to stay celibate always.. even in marriage? Because I don't think I can do this.. Will Krishna not accept me if I have sex within marriage? And If I do have sex in marriage I would practice it with tantra.. Is this OK?? I kind of feel depressed over this..

 

Do not worry about the rules you are not able to follow. Worry about following the rules you CAN follow, like hearing, chanting, remembering, rendering service, etc. Concentrate on the positive purification.

 

Prabhupada gave here a very high standard few people (especially of the non-brahminical variety) can follow. Set yourself a realistic standard of no sex outside marriage - that is hard enough for most people to follow. If you live like that all your life (following realistic standards and performing devotional service) when you are old you will be ready to follow the highest standards. Be patient.

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Are we to stay celibate always.. even in marriage? Because I don't think I can do this.. Will Krishna not accept me if I have sex within marriage? And If I do have sex in marriage I would practice it with tantra.. Is this OK?? I kind of feel depressed over this..

 

Isn't this kind of stupid questions? :eek4:

I mean ... why get marry if you wanted to be celibate?

 

And where did it say that one must choose Celibacy, only then could Sri Krishna accept you? :eek4:

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Kulapavana's namesake shines brightly with this statement:

 

Do not worry about the rules you are not able to follow. Worry about following the rules you CAN follow, like hearing, chanting, remembering, rendering service, etc. Concentrate on the positive purification.

Prabhupada gave here a very high standard few people (especially of the non-brahminical variety) can follow. Set yourself a realistic standard of no sex outside marriage - that is hard enough for most people to follow. If you live like that all your life (following realistic standards and performing devotional service) when you are old you will be ready to follow the highest standards. Be patient.

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