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Is Polygamy prohibited under hinduism

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vinay

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In the ancient times a substantial, or noticeable, percentage of the population took to spiritual pursuits by renouncing the world and taking refuge in the forest. As a result, there were always more brides than grooms. As such it was necessary for qualified individuals to accept more than one wife so that all women would have a source of protection.

 

In the modern times there is no justification for polygamy, as the society has degraded to the point where even one wife is not taken care of properly. Divorce is becoming more and more common throughout the world. If people could maintain and protect a single wife throughout their life, that would itself be a great achievement.

 

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Originally posted by vinay:

is there any hindu scripture that says that a person can only marry once. in other words is polygamy prohibited under hinduism, and which scripture mentions it?

Can you clarify, whether your are taking about "marriage in which a spouse of either sex may have more than one mate at the same time"(www.m-w.com) or only husband having more than one wife ? Sorry, if it is indecent to ask such a thing, but because some small pockets of tribes are believed to have adopted other way too.

 

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In Figi our Krishna Kaliya temple was built

by the Punya family.

Vasudeva das The oldest brother in that family has two wifes which are sisters they have an adopted daughter.

He is the only person I have even known who has sucessufully carried this out.

The two ladies told us I do the cooking and my sister cleans

very rare I think Vasudeva I might add was a very sucessful business man in his younger years.

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I think polygamy is not very practical today. For Laksri, I think the word you are looking for is polyandry. This is off the top of my head, and I am too lazy to walk to the closet and pick up a dictionary to check Posted Image

 

But polygamy I do think has had a valuable place in society. In fact, it is my view that it was a major reason for the strength of the Mormon church. Allow me to explain. Of course there are many factors that have lead to the solidity of the Mormon faith, but I think the early polygamy of its members certainly has to be considered.

 

Basically the idea is that the more social connections you have between families, the tighter the social fabric becomes. If a man has 5 wives, and from them has 25 children, then these 25 children marry other people, all of a sudden with 1 man and 5 wives (6 people) they have created perhaps several hundred social/familial connections. People tend to naturally stick with family relations. Ever wonder why so many Mormon's actually contribute their 10% of income to the church? Because to a large degree they are family members. Joseph Smith had by some accounts over 50 wives. Brigham Young the same. All of a sudden you can consolidate power, accumulate capital, and focus your energy. If your church is your family, you will give a lot of yourself to it.

 

Gauracandra

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Originally posted by Avinash:

For Laksri, I think the word you are looking for is polyandry. This is off the top of my head, and I am too lazy to walk to the closet and pick up a dictionary to check.

 

No need of checking a dictionary. You are correct. Posted Image

Well masterji if polygamy is many wives and polyandry is many husbands and monogamy is one wife can we say that monandry is one husband?

 

whoever heard of it?

 

 

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JNdAs wrote:

Administrator posted 01-31-2002 04:23PM

"In ancient times, substantial or noticeable percentage of population took to spiritual pursuits by renouncing world and taking refuge in forest.

As result, there were always more brides than grooms.

As such it was necessary for qualified individuals to accept more than one wife so that all women would have source of protection.

In modern times there is no justification for polygamy, as society has degraded to point where even one wife is not taken care of properly."

************

The mundane argument for literally throwing female babies out with bathwater.

Not at all impressive.

***************

"Divorce is becoming more and more common throughout world."

***************

So we should follow suit?

Just as I type BBC is broadcasting from VRndAvan interviewing widows. Hmm.

Talk about perfect timing?

They get $10 USA/month to live on.

If they're too sick to attend aratrik & sick they get no food.

I'm the poorest devotee I know. Almost zero financial ambition.

Yet I could easily (without budging an inch) support 50 such widows as wives (food, pUjA, cloth, water, shelter, kids, kIrtan, kathA...) if they were really vaiSNavis.

Put that in your economic pipe & smoke it.

******************

"If people could maintain and protect single wife throughout their life, that would itself be great achievement."

***************

I don't know where you live. I don't even want to know.

In Amerika & many other countries:

If women are true devotees (simple living, high thinking) they are very easy to maintain. Otherwise, abhaktiMs are not worth maintaining. You want statistics?

Practical fact is, people have become cripple minded, so much so, that even devotees go along with vikarmik ideas.

Amazing Horse-stool!

 

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Originally posted by Avinash:

Some words related to marriage:

monogamy, monogyny, monandry, polygamy, polygyny, polyandry, bigamy, digamy, deuterogamy, trigamy, exogamy, endogamy.

 

Posted Image

Polygamy, = where male and female can have multiple marriage partners at the one time eg Kunti her co-wives and her Husbands, Drupadi her co-wives and the Padavas. The Nyre of south India and some Indian hill tribes

Polygyny, = a male has multiple female marriage partners eg Islam, Mohammad, Bin Laden et al. Judaism, Mormon

Polyandry, = a female has multiple male marriage partners eg this is rare but generally occurs in societies where there is a shortage of women (usually due to female infanticide) or land shortage or where men often enter battle–It may also occur in polygamist societies but more so in societies that have a matrilineal descent system eg Nyre of South India, Tory Islands Ireland, Trobrian Islands PNG.

Exogamy, = marriage outside the clan, family or group

Endogamy. = Marriage within the clan, family or group

Monogamy, = both males and females can have a single marriage partner eg Roman Catholic (no divorce)

Serial monogamy = both the male and the female can have a succession of single marriage partnership at a given time eg Christian traditions and monogamist societies that permit divorce

 

 

 

[This message has been edited by suryaz (edited 02-03-2002).]

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Quoted from further below:

Western women are happy in thinking, "My husband should give me some money;

that's all. And then there is no harm if he gives me up." At present, this

attitude is also entering India. It is not in the village areas, but there

it has entered places like Delhi, Bombay, Madras, and Calcutta. I request

you to not be involved in these things. Be very careful. I think that you

are sometimes helpless in protecting yourselves. You are bound to do

something wrong. If you call out and request your Guru, the Vaisnavas,

Krsna, Mahaprabhu, Nityananda Prabhu, and Svarupa Damodara, they can save

you. This is the only way. Otherwise you cannot be saved.

 

vaisnava_synod@

Wed, 23 Jan 2002 09:51:17 EST

[Vaisnava Synod] Does He remember Me?

Tridandi Gosvami Sri Srimad BhaktivedAnta NArAyan Maharaj

KRSNA'S REPLY

Birmingham, England: June 27, 2001

 

If one wants to advance in bhakti, he should try to understand these topics.

Simply thinking, "Not this, not this, not this, will not suffice." If

positive understanding and moods are there, then you will be successful.

Along with absorption in the positive there must also be negation of the

negative, otherwise, you cannot advance. At the same time, absorption in

negation will not help you very much.

 

The gopis told Krsna, "We cannot live without You. We cannot maintain our

lives without You. It will be better if You to come to Vrndavana, and that

Vrndavana is not different from our hearts. If You do not come, You will see

that Vrndavana will be completely lifeless. Everyone and everything there

will die."

 

suniya radhika-vani, vraja-prema mane ani,

bhave vyakulita deha-mana

vraja-lokera prema suni', apanake 'rni' mani,'

kare krsna tanre asvasana

(CC Mad 13.148)

 

"After hearing Srimati Radharani's statements, Lord Krsna's love for the

inhabitants of Vrndavana was evoked, and His body and mind became very much

perturbed. After hearing of their love for Him, He immediately considered

Himself to be always indebted to them. He began to pacify Srimati Radharani

as follows:

 

prana-priye, suna, mora e-satya-vacana

toma-sabara smarane, jhuron muni ratri-dine,

mora duhkha na jane kona jana

(CC Mad 13. 149)

 

"My dearest Srimati Radharani, please hear Me. I am speaking the truth. I

cry day and night simply upon remembering all you inhabitants of Vrndavana.

No one knows how unhappy this makes Me."

 

Hearing the pathetic words of the gopis, and especially of Radhika, Krsna

became restless and could not control Himself. He thought, "I cannot repay

the Vrajavasis." He began to pacify all the gopis, and especially Radhika.

He began to weep as He replied, "Prana-priye, suna, mora e satya vacana. My

most beloved, I am telling you the truth with My pure heart. Toma-sabara

smarane, jhuron muni ratri-dine, mora duhkha na jane kona jana. My body is

there in Dvaraka, but My heart is with You in Vrndavana. I am always

restless, day and night, and I am feeling so much separation. There are none

in Mathura to whom I can reveal My heart. I sent Uddhava to Vraja to be

admitted in the school of gopis so he could learn something about the

meaning of prema. I thought that if he would become expert, upon his return

I could describe to him the extent of My separation, and he will realize My

heart. But I see that I cannot even share My heart with Uddhava, nor with

Rukmini or Satyabhama. I continually lament."

 

vraja-vasi yata jana, mata, pita, sakha-gana,

sabe haya mora prana-sama

tanra madhye gopi-gana, saksat mora jivana,

tumi mora jivanera jivana

(CC Mad 13.150)

 

Krsna continued, "All the Vrajavasis, including My father and mother and all

My cowherd-boy friends, are all equal to My life. Mora jivanera jivana tanra

madhye gopi-gana. Among them, all the gopis are like My saksad jivana,

direct life air. And You, Srimati Radhika, are the life of My life".

 

toma-sabara prema-rase, amake karila vase,

ami tomara adhina kevala

toma-saba chadana, ama dura-dese lana,

rakhiyache durdaiva prabala

(CC Mad 13.151)

 

"I am controlled by Your love and affection. Now I am only Yours. I am Your

eternal servant. The creator of this world is very cruel-hearted. He has

taken Me very far from You and I am helpless." We are all helpless in the

matter of stopping our death. We are helpless in every way. Similarly,

Krsna is saying, "Now I am helpless, and You are also helpless. That creator

has forcibly taken Me very far away from You, and from My birth place in

Gokula, Vrndavana. This is My misfortune."

 

priya priya-sanga-hina, priya priya-sanga vina,

nahi jiye,--e satya pramana

mora dasa sone yabe, tanra ei dasa habe,

ei bhaye dunhe rakhe prana

(CC Mad 13.152)

 

"It is true that a dearly beloved cannot maintain her life without her

lover." Krsna is not speaking about Western women here. He is referring

only to Vedic culture. He speaks only about the gopis and Himself.

 

Western women are happy in thinking, "My husband should give me some money;

that's all. And then there is no harm if he gives me up." At present, this

attitude is also entering India. It is not in the village areas, but there

it has entered places like Delhi, Bombay, Madras, and Calcutta. I request

you to not be involved in these things. Be very careful. I think that you

are sometimes helpless in protecting yourselves. You are bound to do

something wrong. If you call out and request your Guru, the Vaisnavas,

Krsna, Mahaprabhu, Nityananda Prabhu, and Svarupa Damodara, they can save

you. This is the only way. Otherwise you cannot be saved.

 

It is true that without her beloved, a woman cannot maintain her life. And

that beloved also cannot maintain his life without his priya, dear one.

"Mora dasa sone yabe, tanra ei dasa habe, ei bhaye dunhe rakhe prana. When

a woman is separated from her beloved, why does she not die? She remains

alive by thinking, 'If I die, my beloved will weep bitterly, and he may also

die. So I should not die. I don't want to give him any suffering.' Also,

that beloved person thinks, 'If I die, then she may die out of separation.

She will suffer so much.' For this reason, neither wants to die."

 

sei sati premavati, premavan sei pati,

viyoge ye vanche priya-hite

na gane apana-duhkha, vanche priyajana-sukha,

sei dui mile acirate

(CC.Mad 13.153)

 

"Such a loving, chaste wife and loving husband desire all welfare for each

other in separation and do not care for personal happiness. Desiring only

each other's well-being, such a pair certainly meet again without delay".

 

This is an important point. The only chaste lady is she who has so much high

class of love and affection for her beloved that even in separation she

always thinks of his welfare. Rama told Sita, "I am giving You up for the

rest of My life." He sent Her to the forest for the rest of her life, and in

deep separation She wept bitterly. At that time She was pregnant, otherwise

She may have died, and soon Her two sons Lava and Kush were born. Although

She was greatly suffering on account of her husband, Sita always used to

say, "I don't look at whether He has done wrong or right. I only want that

wherever he is, He should be happy."

 

Although Rama was in His grand royal palace, He gave up His pillows, His

bed, and every other convenience. He became renounced there, and He slept on

a mat on the ground, just as Sita devi did. He did not eat any delicious

foods, and He was only taking some fruits to maintain His life. Like Sita,

He was very austere. He was always feeling Her separation, unable to survive

without Her, and for that reason He performed fire sacrifices and He made

statues of Her.

 

The chaste lady, who has love and affection for her beloved, always thinks

of his welfare. Even if he does something wrong, she doesn't mind. The

beloved also thinks this way about his wife or his most beloved. "Na gane

apana-duhkha, vanche priyajana-sukha, sei dui mile acirate. They don't care

for their own happiness or suffering. They always think of the happiness and

suffering of their beloveds."

 

You should try to understand and follow the instruction given here. If you

want to enter that transcendental realm, then begin these dealings with your

Gurudeva. If Guru is a very high class of devotee, if he has love and

affection for you, and if he is taking you more and more towards Krsna

consciousness, then place your whole attention in him. Don't think about

your own suffering and happiness. Rather you should think, "How can I please

my Gurudeva?" If this mood is not present in a disciple, he is bound to give

up the devotional line. It is stated in like Srimad Bhagavatam:

 

sri-prahrada uvaca

sravanam kirtanam visnoh smaranam pada-sevanam

arcanam vandanam dasyam sakhyam atma-nivedanam

iti pumsarpita visnau bhaktis cen nava-laksana

kriyeta bhagavaty addha tan manye 'dhitam uttamam

(SB 7.5.23)

 

"Prahlada Maharaja said: Hearing and chanting about the transcendental holy

name, form, qualities, paraphernalia and pastimes of Lord Visnu, remembering

them, serving the lotus feet of the Lord, offering the Lord respectful

worship with sixteen types of paraphernalia, offering prayers to the Lord,

becoming His servant, considering the Lord one's best friend, and

surrendering everything unto Him (in other words, serving Him with the body,

mind and words)-these nine processes are accepted as pure devotional

service. One who has dedicated his life to the service of Krsna through

these nine methods should be understood to be the most learned person, for

he has acquired complete knowledge."

 

You must first offer yourself unto the lotus feet of Krsna-but there are two

Krsna's. The first is guru-bhagavan, and the second is Krsna-bhagavan. The

first is asraya (the abode of service), and the second is visaya (the object

of service). First come to asraya-bhagavan. He is perfect, if he has all

the symptoms described in Srimad Bhagavatam and the Upanisads. You should

have strong faith in such a guru, and try to please him. He is so powerful.

By his own power, this guru will transfer your sentiments.

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They get $10 USA/month to live on. If they're too sick to attend aratrik & sick they get no food.

Actually the widows in Vrindavan have large amounts of money, most of them have bank accounts as well (there are banks that operate solely for the widows). They never use the money, because what will they do with it? The banks end up with the money eventually.

 

Where do they get the money? From the millions of rich marwaris who come on pilgrimage. They believe it is their duty to donate money to these widows, and sometimes give lakhs of rupees to a single widow without knowing anything about them.

 

The BBC may say they get only Rs. 400 a month, but the reality is far from that.

 

I'm the poorest devotee I know. Almost zero financial ambition. Yet I could easily (without budging an inch) support 50 such widows as wives (food, pUjA, cloth, water, shelter, kids, kIrtan, kathA...) if they were really vaiSNavis.

If you think supporting a wife means feeding them, then you are very mistaken. Unfortunately that's what most men in the west think, and as a result the divorce rates keep going up.

 

Today there is neither man nor woman, for neither are fixed in their proper duties. The unfortunate result is inevitable.

 

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Originally posted by Avinash:

Some words related to marriage:

monogamy, monogyny, monandry, polygamy, polygyny, polyandry, bigamy, digamy, deuterogamy, trigamy, exogamy, endogamy.

 

Which of these do you like most? Posted Image

 

Actually my personal favourite is missing: adultery!

 

valaya a la maya

 

 

 

[This message has been edited by valaya (edited 02-01-2002).]

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Originally posted by Tarun:

 

If one wants to advance in bhakti, he should try to understand these topics.

Simply thinking, "Not this, not this, not this, will not suffice." If

positive understanding and moods are there, then you will be successful.

Along with absorption in the positive there must also be negation of the

negative, otherwise, you cannot advance. At the same time, absorption in

negation will not help you very much.

 

The gopis told Krsna, "We cannot live without You. We cannot maintain our

lives without You. It will be better if You to come to Vrndavana, and that

Vrndavana is not different from our hearts. If You do not come, You will see

that Vrndavana will be completely lifeless. Everyone and everything there

will die."

 

suniya radhika-vani, vraja-prema mane ani,

bhave vyakulita deha-mana

vraja-lokera prema suni', apanake 'rni' mani,'

kare krsna tanre asvasana

(CC Mad 13.148)

 

"After hearing Srimati Radharani's statements, Lord Krsna's love for the

inhabitants of Vrndavana was evoked, and His body and mind became very much

perturbed. After hearing of their love for Him, He immediately considered

Himself to be always indebted to them. He began to pacify Srimati Radharani

as follows:

 

prana-priye, suna, mora e-satya-vacana

toma-sabara smarane, jhuron muni ratri-dine,

mora duhkha na jane kona jana

(CC Mad 13. 149)

 

"My dearest Srimati Radharani, please hear Me. I am speaking the truth. I

cry day and night simply upon remembering all you inhabitants of Vrndavana.

No one knows how unhappy this makes Me."

 

Hearing the pathetic words of the gopis, and especially of Radhika, Krsna

became restless and could not control Himself. He thought, "I cannot repay

the Vrajavasis." He began to pacify all the gopis, and especially Radhika.

He began to weep as He replied, "Prana-priye, suna, mora e satya vacana. My

most beloved, I am telling you the truth with My pure heart. Toma-sabara

smarane, jhuron muni ratri-dine, mora duhkha na jane kona jana. My body is

there in Dvaraka, but My heart is with You in Vrndavana. I am always

restless, day and night, and I am feeling so much separation. There are none

in Mathura to whom I can reveal My heart. I sent Uddhava to Vraja to be

admitted in the school of gopis so he could learn something about the

meaning of prema. I thought that if he would become expert, upon his return

I could describe to him the extent of My separation, and he will realize My

heart. But I see that I cannot even share My heart with Uddhava, nor with

Rukmini or Satyabhama. I continually lament."

 

vraja-vasi yata jana, mata, pita, sakha-gana,

sabe haya mora prana-sama

tanra madhye gopi-gana, saksat mora jivana,

tumi mora jivanera jivana

(CC Mad 13.150)

 

Krsna continued, "All the Vrajavasis, including My father and mother and all

My cowherd-boy friends, are all equal to My life. Mora jivanera jivana tanra

madhye gopi-gana. Among them, all the gopis are like My saksad jivana,

direct life air. And You, Srimati Radharani, are THE LIFE OF MY LIFE".

 

toma-sabara prema-rase, amake karila vase,

ami tomara adhina kevala

toma-saba chadana, ama dura-dese lana,

rakhiyache durdaiva prabala

(CC Mad 13.151)

 

"I am controlled by Your love and affection. NOW I AM ONLY YOURS. I AM YOUR ETERNAL SERVANT. The creator of this world is very cruel-hearted. He has

taken Me very far from You and I am helpless." We are all helpless in the

matter of stopping our death. We are helpless in every way. Similarly,

Krsna is saying, "Now I am helpless, and You are also helpless. That creator

has forcibly taken Me very far away from You, and from My birth place in

Gokula, Vrndavana. This is My misfortune."

 

Tarun, thanks for posting this. valaya

 

------------------

Radhe Radhe always Radhe!

amanpeter@hotmail.com

 

 

 

[This message has been edited by valaya (edited 02-01-2002).]

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Avinash, are you sure those aren't just various forms of upper level math? Like Trigonometry Posted Image

 

I remember seeing a segment on 60 Minutes about the Kingdom of Bhutan. As I recall it was stated that about 25% of the male population go on to be Buddhist monks. In such circumstances, polygamy makes sense. The King of Bhutan has 2 wives who are also sisters.

 

Gauracandra

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Presidents like JFK, Clinton, Harding, Washington should definitely have several wives.

Why do you think they call Manhattan's Highway FDR Drive?

They do anyway, so why hide it?

Polygamy is natural; abortion & contraception are unnatural.

In this regard, India sets the worst unnatural example of all.

Mainly due to overpopulation.

This next war may partially solve that. Nature's Way.

India's widows certainly live simply, so far I've seen.

The most beautiful thing I ever saw in this particular life?

On a Bombay sidewalk about 3 blocks from Munshi Marg near Chowpatty I saw a husband & wife marry, cook, rest & raise a family.

No complaints.

In comparison, Taj Mahal looked like an ati-stuti outhouse.

Vedik Culture is mainly invisible.

Architecture is its weakest trait.

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The most beautiful thing I ever saw in this particular life?

On a Bombay sidewalk about 3 blocks from Munshi Marg near Chowpatty I saw a husband & wife marry, cook, rest & raise a family.

No complaints.

I have a similar vivid memory of a family living in a small railway station. When our train stopped, I beckoned the husband/father over and tried to hand him money. He just looked at me closely, with an amazing prideful dignity and intense eyes, before he turned and walked back to his little family. I learned something that night I have yet to fully appreciate...

 

valaya

 

 

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Originally posted by Avinash:

Some words related to marriage:

monogamy, monogyny, monandry, polygamy, polygyny, polyandry, bigamy, digamy, deuterogamy, trigamy, exogamy, endogamy.

 

Which of these do you like most? Posted Image

Thank you, I knew you must be a teacher. In Australia we are hearing a lot of "BUGAMY". Do you know what means that, Masterji?

 

 

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I remember my mother crying and begging my father to stay, even saying she didn't care if he had affairs, to please just don't leave her. She stayed in bed crying for about 6 months. After that she pretty much disowned me for 10 years and became drunk and insane off and on for 10 years. My brother had a substitute father from the Big Brothers program and was molested by him for a few years.

 

I am sure that my family would have been better off following vedic procedures, but I think that the real cause of this was a lack of common sense and a lack of love and friendship in our family and community. As my father would often tell me: "I may love you, but I don't like you."

 

I think that the biggest help to this sort of problem can come not so much from our movement educating people about vedic rules and customs, but from our movement helping to establish love and a more sane mental state in the community. This will cause parents to care more about their children and also give them a peaceful mind so that they can have common sense.

 

[This message has been edited by darwin (edited 02-04-2002).]

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Sorry Tarun, I have to disagree with you on the polygamy issue. You cited Kennedy, Clinton etc. as examples of polygamy being natural, I would rather say that these 'men' are examples of the unnaturalness(if that is indeed a word) of it. They certainly are examples only of individuals who are driven by lust to engage in extra-marital affairs. These are rather men who should have no wife at all becuase they have shown themselves to be disrespectful and to view womn as objects of their sense gratification rather than as devotees of Krsna.

 

We certainly have to take time, place and circumstance into consideration when discussing this type of issue. The times at hand are such that women are no longer kept at home as slaves and servants without any education. Women are as educated as men in modern society. Women can, and do, lead independent lives and don't require 'protection' from a male who wishes to subjugate them.

 

I am married and I can say that not only would I not have the proper time to really care for another wife, I do not believe it would be good psychologically, or in any other way, for me to have multiple wives. I barely have enough time to really care for my wife and children as it is. I have been married for over fifteen years so I am not speaking theory here. I do have some practical experience of what it takes to have a meaningful marriage and the sacrifice necessary to raise children.

 

Another reality is that marriages fail at an alarming rate because men and women are ill prepared for the sacrifices necessary to have a meaningful and lasting marriage. Iskcon men or devotees in general, in my opinion, are no different. In fact, Iskcon has a horrible record when it comes to faithful, meaningful marriages.

 

So, in reality, the question would have to be asked - who is it that is Krsna conscious enough to maintain multiple wives? And why would they choose to do so? There are some good examples of devotional marriages, but from what I have seen, they are few and far between.

 

Your servant,

Audarya lila dasa

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To what extent would you reintroduce Vedik - VaiSNav Culture?

To that extent you reintroduce celibacy, 4 regs, polygamy.

varNAzram is all-inclusive:

something for everyone, within guidelines.

Just because modern women & men are too puffed up to..

..doesn't change the original Vedik vaiSNav standards.

I've been married much longer than you. So what?

Kaliyuga experience is neither convincing nor conclusive.

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Avinash, are you sure those aren't just various forms of upper level math? Like Trigonometry Posted Image

 

Do you really think that Trigonometry is upper level math? If you had to give an example of upper level math, why did you choose Trigonometry? Were you thinking of triangular love on which some movies are based? Posted Image

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