800 open relationship members??

[Guest guest]

amazingly enough..my ex wife and i got handfasted

 

jo Nov 3, 2005 2:51 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

 

We went to a lovely handfasting on Sunday - took our daughter and her partner who want to get handfasted next year :-)

 

Jo

 

-

fraggle

Thursday, November 03, 2005 10:13 PM

Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

 

handfasting is an old traditional ceremony that has been revived by th celtic, neo-pagan and wiccan movements...

to put it in simple terms..during the wedding ceremony, the to be wedded couple's hands(and sometimes arms) and bound together..with ribbon, er wotever...

External control are you gonna let them get you?

Do you wanna be a prisoner in the boundaries they set you?

[Guest guest]

i'm not certain we are tslkin about the same thing here mama Jo

 

and..easier on the brain might be a matter of individual personailties..

i know quite a few people who think only having one partner/lover would boggle theirminds and the can't fathom it

*shrug*

 

fraggle jo Nov 3, 2005 3:03 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

I meant wouldn't Jenine like it if she knew what happened with Rosa as presumably Rosa knew what had happened to her.

 

I'm confused again - I reckon monogomy is much easier on the brain.

 

Jo

 

External control are you gonna let them get you?

Do you wanna be a prisoner in the boundaries they set you?

[Guest guest]

if you get that nasty power ballad stuck in my head i'm going to have to have some words with you!

 

jo Nov 3, 2005 3:00 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

I prefer Forever Young :-)Jo

 

-

fraggle

Thursday, November 03, 2005 10:43 PM

Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

 

bullpucky

*breaks into a chorus of "i'm gonna stay young until i diiiiiiieeee"* peter hurd Nov 3, 2005 2:39 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

Gonna happen man, face up to it..............

 

The Valley Vegan.............fraggle <EBbrewpunx wrote:

 

old Frag..

somehow i don't like the sound of that peter hurd Nov 3, 2005 2:05 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

Trust you not to be stereotypical!

I suspect though that as with nature , most things are cyclical, that you may well go back to being a monogomous old Frag.

 

The Valley Vegan............fraggle <EBbrewpunx wrote:

 

i think that depends a lot on the person and what they want/desire out of life..

and their situations..

who they are with, etc...

 

when i was a teenager..i was hopelessly monogamous....the idea of more then one relationship at a time never entered my wee lil brain..

it was only later that things began t o evolve and such peter hurd Nov 3, 2005 1:53 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

I think as you get older you start to want a bit more certanty and want to settle more, as oppose to playing the field. Especially when you start going gray and everything starts to head down south! monogomy starts to seem a lot more attractive.

 

The Valley Vegan............jo <jo.heartwork wrote:

 

HI Alex

 

LOL - fancy calling your partner a slapper :-) How many partners do you need to be a slapper, or does it depend on something else?

 

Would your life partner mind another partner living with you full-time? (I am assuming that it is just you and Mike cohabiting at present), or would you not ask him how he felt about it? So many questions !

 

Thanks for chatting about it - it all seems a little uncertain for me - but the world is full of different people.

 

BBJo

 

-

Alex Iantaffi

Thursday, November 03, 2005 9:59 AM

Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

Hi Jo,no need to shut up at all :-) There are indeed lots of possible combinations as fraggle highlighted too. One of my partners is very actively poly (a polite way of saying he is a bit of a slapper actually, LOL) whilst the other two aren't. Mike is really pretty much monogamous although he did get involved with my ex-girlfriend at one point, when me and her were still together, but it was a fling rather than a relationship. The other is currently only dating me but he might also date someone else if he meets someone he likes at some point. The point about main partners varies from situation to situation again. Some people don't like hierarchical language, such as primary and secondary partners. To be honest I don't like it either because it can be read to mean you love one person more than another, which is why I use the term life partner for Mike rather than primary. Having said that, there are various degrees of commitment in relationships. My relationship with R. is fairly casual. He would describe me as his sweetie (what can I say, he is American after all, LOL) but we have no expectations of each other emotionally beyond the bonds of friendship. Yet, we have managed a long-distance relationship for over two years so there is a degree of love and care in our bond too. Now he has moved to the UK for a while, we will see more of each other but have no intention of living together and I suppose at some point our sexual relationship might end although we both hope that our friendship will still be there. My relationship with my other two partners is different as I love them both (and luckily the love me) in a way that some people would describe as 'primary'. For example Mike and I have made a commitment to each other when we were handfasted, we share a house and a daughter and therefore have a greater commitment to our relationship. Finally, my other partner and I have a really intense bond but our relationship is quite new so we have hopes and dreams about greater commitments but only time will tell whether those things (e.g. living together, etc...) will indeed happen. Problems do come up when there is a mismatch of hopes and expectations but that, of course, is similar to what would happen in any relationship anyway, mono or poly :-) Sorry, another long answer!!! Please tell me to shut up if I go on too much when answering your questions ;-)BBAlex

On 02/11/05, jo <jo.heartwork wrote:

HI Alex

 

I'm being nosey again - so please tell me to shut up if you want.

 

There seem to be so many possible combinations. Do your partners have other partners as well? In the group are there always main partners for each person?

 

BBJo

 

Peter H

 

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

It's really too bad that in so many relationships the people don't sit down and discuss so many important things. It would really make the relationships so much better if people could openly say what they want and expect and make sure their partner(s) was/were on the same wavelength. I think I tell my DH things and I think it's clear enuf but he doesn't really understand (and doesn't question - maybe cuz he doesn't even know he really doesn't really understand), and vice versa. Alex Iantaffi <alex.iantaffi wrote:

Hi Jo,I am actually really enjoying the chatting so thanks for the questions :-)

 

 

LOL - fancy calling your partner a slapper :-) How many partners do you need to be a slapper, or does it depend on something else?

He would call himself one so it's ok, really ;-) I think it's more attitude than number of partners for me. He just has that continuously roving eye LOL

 

Would your life partner mind another partner living with you full-time? (I am assuming that it is just you and Mike cohabiting at present), or would you not ask him how he felt about it? So many questions !

Yes it is just Mike and I (well and Melissa, LOL) at the moment. We have talked about the possibility and we have always known that it could potentially happen at some point. Of course I would ask him, and the other partner who would be moving in, how they felt and would ask myself how I felt too :-) Then the three of us would need to sit down and have many open, honest and sometimes painful conversations about hopes and fears and expectations before throwing ourselves into this new situation. Communication is the only fundamental rule of poly, as far as I am concerned. All the other variations are individual but communication seems to be universally recognised in the poly community as the key.

 

Thanks for chatting about it - it all seems a little uncertain for me - but the world is full of different people.

I suppose for me it is no more uncertain than any other type of relationship but I understand your view :-)BBAlex

FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.

[Guest guest]

Yeah, I guess in any relationship how much to share could get tricky, not just because the person might not really be able to accept what you say, but also because the person being talked about might not like the info shared. Good point.

 

It also must have been very difficult to feel comfortable with your lifestyle because of your upbringing. Sadly in our society, a man who 'shares' (to use your pun - giggle) is considered cool, while a female is considered... well you get my point. It's really too bad because our sexual nature is a part of who we are and there's nothing wrong with our sexual being. Interestingly enuf, the supposed sexual revolution began in the 60's, I guess there just hasn't been enuf time to really change things.

Alex Iantaffi <alex.iantaffi wrote:

Yep, personally communication is open and important. How much I share depends on the various type of relationships. Respecting each other's privacy and boundaries is important to me. I would not discuss details of what I do with one partner with another, if that's what you meant. Often, that is just asking for trouble! And nope, not too nosey for me. I am a sharer :-) Sorry, couldn't resist the bad joke, LOLBBAlex

On 03/11/05, Jonnie Hellens <jonnie_hellens wrote:

 

I'm guessing that communication is usually kept open? In other words, when you guys went exclusive, it was discussed and if one of you decided to no longer be exclusive, it would be discussed beforehand? When you are poly, do y'all also discuss your relationships with the different people? For instance, my daughter and I can discuss particular things with each other, but we may not necessarily discuss everything, not that we are hiding it or avoiding it, it just didn't come up. That sort of stuff. Or do you discuss everything in detail and that's part of the 'fun'? Again, it probably depends on the people involved and if I'm being too noisy, again, just tell me so.

FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.

[Guest guest]

None of us do! Stay young forever, won't you?fraggle <EBbrewpunx wrote:

 

old Frag..

somehow i don't like the sound of that peter hurd Nov 3, 2005 2:05 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

Trust you not to be stereotypical!

I suspect though that as with nature , most things are cyclical, that you may well go back to being a monogomous old Frag.

 

The Valley Vegan............fraggle <EBbrewpunx wrote:

 

i think that depends a lot on the person and what they want/desire out of life..

and their situations..

who they are with, etc...

 

when i was a teenager..i was hopelessly monogamous....the idea of more then one relationship at a time never entered my wee lil brain..

it was only later that things began t o evolve and such peter hurd Nov 3, 2005 1:53 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

I think as you get older you start to want a bit more certanty and want to settle more, as oppose to playing the field. Especially when you start going gray and everything starts to head down south! monogomy starts to seem a lot more attractive.

 

The Valley Vegan............jo <jo.heartwork wrote:

 

HI Alex

 

LOL - fancy calling your partner a slapper :-) How many partners do you need to be a slapper, or does it depend on something else?

 

Would your life partner mind another partner living with you full-time? (I am assuming that it is just you and Mike cohabiting at present), or would you not ask him how he felt about it? So many questions !

 

Thanks for chatting about it - it all seems a little uncertain for me - but the world is full of different people.

 

BBJo

 

-

Alex Iantaffi

Thursday, November 03, 2005 9:59 AM

Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

Hi Jo,no need to shut up at all :-) There are indeed lots of possible combinations as fraggle highlighted too. One of my partners is very actively poly (a polite way of saying he is a bit of a slapper actually, LOL) whilst the other two aren't. Mike is really pretty much monogamous although he did get involved with my ex-girlfriend at one point, when me and her were still together, but it was a fling rather than a relationship. The other is currently only dating me but he might also date someone else if he meets someone he likes at some point. The point about main partners varies from situation to situation again. Some people don't like hierarchical language, such as primary and secondary partners. To be honest I don't like it either because it can be read to mean you love one person more than another, which is why I use the term life partner for Mike rather than primary. Having said that, there are various degrees of commitment in relationships. My

relationship with R. is fairly casual. He would describe me as his sweetie (what can I say, he is American after all, LOL) but we have no expectations of each other emotionally beyond the bonds of friendship. Yet, we have managed a long-distance relationship for over two years so there is a degree of love and care in our bond too. Now he has moved to the UK for a while, we will see more of each other but have no intention of living together and I suppose at some point our sexual relationship might end although we both hope that our friendship will still be there. My relationship with my other two partners is different as I love them both (and luckily the love me) in a way that some people would describe as 'primary'. For example Mike and I have made a commitment to each other when we were handfasted, we share a house and a daughter and therefore have a greater commitment to our relationship. Finally, my other partner and I have a really intense bond but our relationship is quite new

so we have hopes and dreams about greater commitments but only time will tell whether those things (e.g. living together, etc...) will indeed happen. Problems do come up when there is a mismatch of hopes and expectations but that, of course, is similar to what would happen in any relationship anyway, mono or poly :-) Sorry, another long answer!!! Please tell me to shut up if I go on too much when answering your questions ;-)BBAlex

On 02/11/05, jo <jo.heartwork wrote:

HI Alex

 

I'm being nosey again - so please tell me to shut up if you want.

 

There seem to be so many possible combinations. Do your partners have other partners as well? In the group are there always main partners for each person?

 

BBJo

 

Peter H

 

 

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

No, he had various houses and I'm not really sure who lived where, maybe cuz it was wherever they felt like. They were like one big happy group and I suspect he wasn't the only one with money. I don't think that he was necessarily supporting them all, it was a group effort for some of the people involved.

fraggle <EBbrewpunx wrote:

 

wot sort of building doofus peter hurd Nov 3, 2005 2:06 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

Fields!

 

The Valley Vegan..........fraggle <EBbrewpunx wrote:

 

ok..so wot the heck do you folks over thar call the place you keep horses in???

not stable as in sturdy, reliable, dependable...

stable as in manger...barn....

stable as in he seemed to be having a group of *kept* women...harem..

thats just the impression i got from the way Jonnie described it.... Alex Iantaffi Nov 3, 2005 1:54 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members?? Hi Fraggle,I agree about the sadness It is horrible when someone close to us dies.I am not sure about your use of the word stable as opposed to poly though... I am curious as at first I thought you meant that poly relationships are not stable but that didn't seem to compute with some of the things you have written in this thread. Sorry, if I misunderstood or am being too nosey. I am always fascinated by how differently everyone experiences the definition of polyamory, that's all.BBAlex

On 03/11/05, fraggle <EBbrewpunx wrote:

that is sad...

 

weird tho..it almost sounds more like a stable, then a poly relationship...

but..whichever...takes all kinds in this lil blue ball here...everyone is different with different needs

To send an email to -

 

 

[Guest guest]

Nasty!!!!! I am so hurt - Colin and I love singing along to that when

we are at a Tyketto/Danny Vaughn concert - cos that's how we feel even

if we don't look it :-) It's very uplifting. That reminds me -

another four weeks and we can sing along again.

 

Jo

 

Fraggle wrote: if you get that nasty power ballad stuck in my head i'm

going to have to have some words with you!

 

[Guest guest]

Hi Alex,

 

 

> LOL, I don't think I have ever been described as a diamond in the

rough!

 

Ah, then I am proud to be your first!

 

> Thank you for your lovely words. I keep thinking I am shy and coy

but then

> my oversharing, Italian extrovert side comes out and spoils my

self-image

 

Peter and I were just " talking " about this. It is much easier

to " say " things to a group with computer screens between you than to

talk face to face at times.

 

I am actually a bit shy myself in person. No, really!

 

BB

Nikki

[Guest guest]

Hi Alex

 

> I think of it as a handfasting as we even jumped a broom together :-)

 

I would really like to comment here especially after your comment

about excercising on the machine, but I don't want to ruin the nice

image Jo has of me!

 

But I did warn ya I could only be " nice " for so long! LOL

 

See Peter - I taunt everybody. It's the way I show my affection! If I

am not " harrasing " to you in some way, it means I don't like you. lol

Ask Fraggle!

 

BB

Nikki

[Guest guest]

PETER that's not nice!

 

Stop pulling people's faces!

 

Jo - I think that is wonderful. I am glad that you are so happy!

 

BB

Nikki

 

> Monogomy is all I've ever wanted - I'm not the sharing type, and

wouldn't expect Colin to be either. Certainty, for me, is good, and

comfortable. It doesn't get stale either - Colin and I still love

each other like mad. (I can see Peter pulling a face now).

>

> Jo

[Guest guest]

Thanks Nikki - so am I :-)

 

BB

Jo

 

, " earthstrm " <nikkimack@m...> wrote:

>

> PETER that's not nice!

>

> Stop pulling people's faces!

>

> Jo - I think that is wonderful. I am glad that you are so happy!

>

> BB

> Nikki

>

> > Monogomy is all I've ever wanted - I'm not the sharing type, and

> wouldn't expect Colin to be either. Certainty, for me, is good, and

> comfortable. It doesn't get stale either - Colin and I still love

> each other like mad. (I can see Peter pulling a face now).

> >

> > Jo

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Jo,

 

I am glad to hear that :-) I wasn't that lucky, that's all. I didn't

mean all young people are foolish, just me, sorry if that didn't come

across right. It took me a bit longer to figure out who I was and what

I wanted/deserved. What I was trying to say was that actually my main

poly relationship to date has been the healthiest and most stable in my

life so far (and for the future as far as Mike and I can see). It's not

to say monogamy is bad and polyamory good. It just works for me and

some other people too. Monogamy works for you and Colin and some other

people too. They are different life choices and both equally good as

far as I am concerned, as long as everyone involved is happy and safe.

 

 

BB

AlexOn 03/11/05, jo <jo.heartwork wrote:

Hi Alex

 

Colin and I met when we were 18 - luckily it didn't turn out to be a foolish decision.

 

Jo

 

-

 

Alex Iantaffi

 

Thursday, November 03, 2005 10:02 PM

Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

I can't speak for Fraggle (and as you can see from my other email I am curious about his words too) but personally I think they are as stable (or unstable) as any other relationships. I have been with Mike for nearly 6 years and I consider us a stable relationship. My previous monogamous relationships had never been that long or that stable (partly because I picked unsuitable partners as I was young and foolish!) I know poly couples and triads and quads who have been together for a decade or two and would consider themselves fairly stable indeed :-)BBAlex

On 03/11/05, heartwerk <jo.heartwork

> wrote:

Are poly relationships usually not stable?Jo

[Guest guest]

Again, I can't speak for Fraggle but, personally, I wouldn't tell what

happened with one partner to the other partner just because it is a

matter of privacy and good taste!

 

I agree thar monogamy is easier on the brain :-) I am often a little

bit envious of monogamous (and straight and non-pagan) people. My life

would be a lot simpler if I were more 'mainstream' (for want of a

better word)! Yet, what can I say... I am me and try to live as

honestly as I can, warts and all :-)

 

BB

AlexOn 03/11/05, jo <jo.heartwork wrote:

I meant wouldn't Jenine like it if she knew what happened with Rosa as presumably Rosa knew what had happened to her.

 

I'm confused again - I reckon monogomy is much easier on the brain.

 

Jo

 

-

 

fraggle

 

Thursday, November 03, 2005 10:45 PM

Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

 

not like that....

but different people react in different ways...

everyone knew each other...we'd all hang out together...

but jenine was my partner, not rosa's...

jo Nov 3, 2005 2:23 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

Would you not tell her because she wouldn't like what happened?

 

Jo

 

[Guest guest]

Yep, communication can be hard in any relationship.You think you know

what people mean and others think they know what you mean and then

trouble starts :-) All we can do is keep trying. I am one of these

annoying people who will try and talk everything through. Maybe it's

because I am an ex-lesbian and apparently we process a lot :-)

 

BB

AlexOn 04/11/05, Jonnie Hellens <jonnie_hellens wrote:

It's really too bad that in so many relationships the

people don't sit down and discuss so many important things.

It would really make the relationships so much better if people could

openly say what they want and expect and make sure their partner(s)

was/were on the same wavelength. I think I tell my DH things

and I think it's clear enuf but he doesn't

really understand (and doesn't question - maybe cuz he

doesn't even know he really doesn't really understand), and vice

versa.

[Guest guest]

Yes, it has been a bit of a challenge and it still is at times. Living

in another country helps though! Getting rid of the internalised

stereotypes and guilt is harder but I am getting there. I am sure some

people think that I am, well, you know, the point you were making :-)

However, for me, poly is not about having lots of sexual relationships

but about being open to loving whomever I fall in love with since I

truly believe that it is possible to do so. I suppose the 60s had the

hippy free love stuff, which was a bit messy really and often

mysoginistic (I think a few women were left literally holding the

baby!). Polyamory is a similar ideal but, for me, a bit more feminist

and political as well as personal. Maybe in 20 years, it will seem as

mainstream as monogamy, who knows :-)

 

BB

AlexOn 04/11/05, Jonnie Hellens <jonnie_hellens wrote:

Yeah, I guess in any relationship how much to share could get

tricky, not just because the person might not really be able to accept

what you say, but also because the person being talked about might not

like the info shared. Good point.

 

It also must have been very difficult to feel comfortable with

your lifestyle because of your upbringing. Sadly in our society,

a man who 'shares' (to use your pun - giggle) is considered cool, while

a female is considered... well you get my point. It's really too

bad because our sexual nature is a part of who we are and there's

nothing wrong with our sexual being. Interestingly enuf, the

supposed sexual revolution began in the 60's, I guess there just hasn't

been enuf time to really change things.

[Guest guest]

*nods* Indeed :-)

 

BB

AlexOn 04/11/05, heartwerk <jo.heartwork wrote:

 

I think it is important to know each other well, and the only way to

do that is to talk about your hopes and fears, your beliefs about

life, etc.

 

Jo

[Guest guest]

Hi Nikki

 

Peter and I were just " talking " about this. It is much easier

to " say " things to a group with computer screens between you than to

talk face to face at times.

I would definitely agree with that. Although I am quite good at

face to face too nowadays. Other people get embarassed more easily

though! ;-)

 

I am actually a bit shy myself in person. No, really!

Yeah, right! LOL

BB

Alex :-)

[Guest guest]

Jo - I think that is wonderful. I am glad that you are so happy!

What Nikki said :-)

 

I like certainty too and would not get involved in a 'primary' way with

people who can't offer that. I also like to think I offer that too. My

feelings are not fickle, even though they spread beyond one person :-)

I hope to be with Mike (and whomever else might become more important

in my life) when I am very old and wrinkly, LOL I know that's not what

you meant but I just wanted to say that... :-)

 

BB

Alex

 

 

 

> Monogomy is all I've ever wanted - I'm not the sharing type, and

wouldn't expect Colin to be either. Certainty, for me, is good, and

comfortable. It doesn't get stale either - Colin and I still love

each other like mad. (I can see Peter pulling a face now).

>

> Jo

[Guest guest]

Hey, I headed south a while ago and yes, monogomy is attractive to me, but it has nothing to do with geography.peter hurd <swpgh01 wrote:

 

I think as you get older you start to want a bit more certanty and want to settle more, as oppose to playing the field. Especially when you start going gray and everything starts to head down south! monogomy starts to seem a lot more attractive.

 

The Valley Vegan............jo <jo.heartwork wrote:

 

HI Alex

 

LOL - fancy calling your partner a slapper :-) How many partners do you need to be a slapper, or does it depend on something else?

 

Would your life partner mind another partner living with you full-time? (I am assuming that it is just you and Mike cohabiting at present), or would you not ask him how he felt about it? So many questions !

 

Thanks for chatting about it - it all seems a little uncertain for me - but the world is full of different people.

 

BBJo

 

-

Alex Iantaffi

Thursday, November 03, 2005 9:59 AM

Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

Hi Jo,no need to shut up at all :-) There are indeed lots of possible combinations as fraggle highlighted too. One of my partners is very actively poly (a polite way of saying he is a bit of a slapper actually, LOL) whilst the other two aren't. Mike is really pretty much monogamous although he did get involved with my ex-girlfriend at one point, when me and her were still together, but it was a fling rather than a relationship. The other is currently only dating me but he might also date someone else if he meets someone he likes at some point. The point about main partners varies from situation to situation again. Some people don't like hierarchical language, such as primary and secondary partners. To be honest I don't like it either because it can be read to mean you love one person more than another, which is why I use the term life partner for Mike rather than primary. Having said that, there are various degrees of commitment in relationships. My

relationship with R. is fairly casual. He would describe me as his sweetie (what can I say, he is American after all, LOL) but we have no expectations of each other emotionally beyond the bonds of friendship. Yet, we have managed a long-distance relationship for over two years so there is a degree of love and care in our bond too. Now he has moved to the UK for a while, we will see more of each other but have no intention of living together and I suppose at some point our sexual relationship might end although we both hope that our friendship will still be there. My relationship with my other two partners is different as I love them both (and luckily the love me) in a way that some people would describe as 'primary'. For example Mike and I have made a commitment to each other when we were handfasted, we share a house and a daughter and therefore have a greater commitment to our relationship. Finally, my other partner and I have a really intense bond but our relationship is quite new

so we have hopes and dreams about greater commitments but only time will tell whether those things (e.g. living together, etc...) will indeed happen. Problems do come up when there is a mismatch of hopes and expectations but that, of course, is similar to what would happen in any relationship anyway, mono or poly :-) Sorry, another long answer!!! Please tell me to shut up if I go on too much when answering your questions ;-)BBAlex

On 02/11/05, jo <jo.heartwork wrote:

HI Alex

 

I'm being nosey again - so please tell me to shut up if you want.

 

There seem to be so many possible combinations. Do your partners have other partners as well? In the group are there always main partners for each person?

 

BBJo

Peter H

 

 

 

How much free photo storage do you get? Store your holiday snaps for FREE with Photos. Get Photos

FareChase - Search multiple travel sites in one click.

[Guest guest]

Its only because you were into bondage!

 

The Valley Vegan.........fraggle <EBbrewpunx wrote:

 

amazingly enough..my ex wife and i got handfasted

 

jo Nov 3, 2005 2:51 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

 

We went to a lovely handfasting on Sunday - took our daughter and her partner who want to get handfasted next year :-)

 

Jo

 

-

fraggle

Thursday, November 03, 2005 10:13 PM

Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

 

handfasting is an old traditional ceremony that has been revived by th celtic, neo-pagan and wiccan movements...

to put it in simple terms..during the wedding ceremony, the to be wedded couple's hands(and sometimes arms) and bound together..with ribbon, er wotever...

External control are you gonna let them get you?

Do you wanna be a prisoner in the boundaries they set you?

Peter H

 

Messenger NEW - crystal clear PC to PC calling worldwide with voicemail

[Guest guest]

What you are warty as well?

 

The Valley Vegan..........Alex Iantaffi <alex.iantaffi wrote:

Again, I can't speak for Fraggle but, personally, I wouldn't tell what happened with one partner to the other partner just because it is a matter of privacy and good taste!I agree thar monogamy is easier on the brain :-) I am often a little bit envious of monogamous (and straight and non-pagan) people. My life would be a lot simpler if I were more 'mainstream' (for want of a better word)! Yet, what can I say... I am me and try to live as honestly as I can, warts and all :-)BBAlex

On 03/11/05, jo <jo.heartwork wrote:

 

I meant wouldn't Jenine like it if she knew what happened with Rosa as presumably Rosa knew what had happened to her.

 

I'm confused again - I reckon monogomy is much easier on the brain.

 

Jo

 

-

fraggle

 

Thursday, November 03, 2005 10:45 PM

Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

 

not like that....

but different people react in different ways...

everyone knew each other...we'd all hang out together...

but jenine was my partner, not rosa's...

jo Nov 3, 2005 2:23 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

Would you not tell her because she wouldn't like what happened?

 

Jo

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I think about 15 years ago he used the word swinger, not sure if that has evolved to another word or if it's something way different.Alex Iantaffi <alex.iantaffi wrote:

Hi Fraggle,I agree about the sadness It is horrible when someone close to us dies.I am not sure about your use of the word stable as opposed to poly though... I am curious as at first I thought you meant that poly relationships are not stable but that didn't seem to compute with some of the things you have written in this thread. Sorry, if I misunderstood or am being too nosey. I am always fascinated by how differently everyone experiences the definition of polyamory, that's all.BBAlex

On 03/11/05, fraggle <EBbrewpunx wrote:

 

that is sad...

 

weird tho..it almost sounds more like a stable, then a poly relationship...

but..whichever...takes all kinds in this lil blue ball here...everyone is different with different needs

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exercise with a machine... (clearning throat) I'll stay away from that one...

So a slapper could be male or female, we have a lot of US terms for that too, but I guess y'all know 'em already. I think the terms often pertain to attitude, not just action.Alex Iantaffi <alex.iantaffi wrote:

Believe me, I am sure I don't get as many workouts as people think I do! LOL And I still get myself down the gym. There is something to be said in favour of exercise with a machine ;-) Ok, now I am taking this conversation down the gutter, I am sorry.A slapper (as I understand it, English people help me if I get this wrong please!) is someone who is easy and gets around. Handfasting is a pagan wedding. Technically mine and Mike was not quite a handfasting as he is not pagan but we did write and co-celebrated our ceremony, which was a mixture of humanist, anarchic and pagan. I think of it as a handfasting as we even jumped a broom together :-)BBAlex

On 03/11/05, Jonnie Hellens <jonnie_hellens wrote:

I don't think you need a treadmill for good cardio workouts do ya! I bet you don't get as bored with your workouts and I do either!

 

I have a couple more questions. What's a slapper? You also mention 'handfasted'. Is this some sort of ceremony?

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Yeah, he makes it clear that it didn't GET shut down, He voluntarily closed the doors. He got tired of the battle. I see why one would. I know just about every time they open a new Castle (an adult toy store) there's a big thing on the news about how they are morally corrupting all sorts of people And yet, Castles keep opening up all over the place. So they must have a lot of support somewhere.

 

So is swinging a totally different thing? I kinda get that it could be. A swinger is a person who 'meet's lots of people, whereas poly is relationship based? He had girlfriends that he was obviously in a relationship with and some of them had boyfriends that they were also in relationships with and yet if any of them met someone they were interested in, they were free to explore options. Did I get definitions messed up?fraggle <EBbrewpunx wrote:

 

ah..a swingers club...i guess...

ho..maybe it was a polyamory club....

too bad it got shut down.....

always an uphill battle....

Jonnie Hellens Nov 3, 2005 2:18 PM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

I dunno, once upon a time I didn't know it was a poly situtuation. I heard him mention his girlfriend but it wouldn't be one he was just talking about. Each knew the other and they also had other friends, etc. I figgered it out kinda quick. His club is shut down now, he was in a constant battle with the authorities cuz they didn't like a club where people could go and meet and 'enjoy' each others company in private or public. He got tired of the fight after one too many arrests. Hey, to each thier own I say, consenting adults and all that.

 

Not like once upon a time I went to visit my grandfather in Nevada, I was probably 15 or so. He took me home and introduced his wife and then later elsewhere introduced his fiance. I kinda got the idea they didn't know about each other, but I didn't ask. I was just confused and quiet.fraggle <EBbrewpunx wrote:

 

that is sad...

 

weird tho..it almost sounds more like a stable, then a poly relationship...

but..whichever...takes all kinds in this lil blue ball here...everyone is different with different needs Jonnie Hellens Nov 3, 2005 9:29 AM Re: Re: 800 open relationship members??

A friend of my DH is poly, he had quite a bit of money and had lots of houses with various girlfriends living in them. I never talked to him too much cuz he was always trying to invite me to his club and my DH was very uncomfortable with that. Too bad, you know how curious I am and I would have loved to have asked a lot of questions. He didn't seem to mind at all.

 

We got a call a couple of weeks ago that was pretty sad. One of his girlfriends died suddenly (my DH said he really didn't want to tell me why she died, of course then I really had to know) of a heart attack. She wasn't much older than I am. He's been with her a long time so I'm sure he is pretty upset.

 

jo <jo.heartwork wrote:

External control are you gonna let them get you?

Do you wanna be a prisoner in the boundaries they set you?

 

 

 

 

 

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