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Kali_Upasaka

Cultivation of Detachment

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Honestly it is not that difficult,I see no need for hard detachment like what has been discussed here.One just needs to pay attention towards his family coz he has born for this purpose in this mrityuloka and should remember God for what he has been given so far,never pray God for what you don't have!

Below I just received in mail.

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The bumble bee can bore a hole in the hardest of the wood. But, when dusk intervenes while it is sipping the nectar from the lotus flower and as a result when the open petals close in on the bee, it finds itself imprisoned with no hope of escape. It does not know how to deal with softness. So too, the mind can play its tricks and jump about on any arena. When placed on the Lotus Feet of the Lord, it becomes inactive and harmless. To offer the mind entirely to the Lord, deep detachment from worldly desires is needed. Superficial devotion or shallow steadfastness cannot succeed.

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All human beings are not the same. The mental make up of an individual depend on his purva janma Vasanas. So it is possible that he is born with a sense of detachment. The life of saints proves this point.

 

I will narrate my experience in this. I wanted to join the armed forces when I was young. I could have easily joined the National Defence Academy and become an officer in the services. My people were not opposed to it. But they consulted an astrologer. He said that this boy is less attached to people and things and a military career was not for him. That ended my ambition.

 

Then later on once one of my cousins who is a good friend remarked about my being like a water on the lotus leaf. She had studied some religious books. I was an ignoramus. The only religion I knew then was praying to GOD.

 

Later on I underwent a psychological examination when I joined a MNC. The psychologist thought I was an orphan. He warned me about not having normal emotions and asked me to stay with my parents or bring them over to stay with me.

 

By this time I had studied enough of psychology in college to know that my attachment to people/things etc. is much less than normal. I have to make an effort to show emotions.

 

You will find many people like me in the world. They do have a problem in relationship with other people.

 

There are positive aspects of such a mental make up. I was for long a trouble shooter in my company because of my ability to keep my cool in the face of even the worst crisis. It also gives you an advantage in Lateral Thinking.

 

Mr. Bennet in Pride and Prejudice does display some of the characteristics of Detachment.

 

http://www.shmoop.com/character/literature/jane-austen/pride-and-prejudice/mr-bennet.html

 

Do we not see fathers like that? In fact in the traditional Hindu families showing of all emotions was strictly prohibited. Especially the Men. The father was always a distant figure who was approached by the children through the mother. The father was expected a take a non-emotional value based judgment in all matters.

 

We have all been practicing some kind of detachment. But when I put a name to it, we are reluctant to accept. Not because of what it means, but because of the connotation of Sannyasa attached to it.

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There is a difference between detachment and using the concept as an escape from harsh realities of life.:P

 

Those who achieve sthithapragna(Gita) can attain detachment.

The story of Dhruv(as mentioned by AM) makes it clear one cannot forsake his responsibilities to feel closer to god.

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Coming back to where this discussion started - i think it is relevant to reflect on ideas like renunciation and detachment. in trying to re-read the texts, we must, can, have to re-think in the context we live in and it comes down to where Kali-Upasaka left the first mail .... is it possible to write a book for a software engineer about this topic?.... well probably that's what we each may have to do in order to interpret how Gita or the texts relate to us and what messages relate to us.

Don't we see how some of the original scientific theories still form the basis of new discoveries with an on-going adaptation and reinvention?

 

i view the texts as that. the messages hold relevance, if instead of discarding as irrelevant right away, we take the risk of seeing deeper.

 

it will be good if we can try and do just that here. ... detachment from the 'phal', the outcome and renunciation from the 'akarma' is what i try to relate to ....

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Coming back to the original topic, detachment from family is not the first priority.

 

The most important factor in any man's life is MONEY. Let us not talk about Saints for whom there is no difference between money and mud.

 

I am basically talking about a person who has graduated from College and is taking up a career. One who is religiously inclined.

 

Now how do we value Money? Is it the means or the end? You need money to have a comfortable life. For meeting the needs of our family. And a Nest Egg for use after retirement. Money is needed even for a Sannyasi. One of the Swamijis of yore who was very practical, used to advise people that they should save up money in the Bank to meet their basic needs when they take up Sannyasa. Some people called these people Fixed deposit Sannyasis. But this makes sense in these modern times. A Sannyasi should not be dependent on anyone.

 

There are some who value money for itself. Accumulation of money becomes an end. Huge bank balances. There are some who would like to leave a fortune for their children.

 

This attitude of accumulation of wealth for its own sake is the biggest handicap in spiritual progress.

 

We have to develop the attitude of looking at money as a means. It is possible that you may have more, much more money than the person who is bent on accumulating it. It does not matter.

 

Wealth by itself is not a handicap to spiritual progress.

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