Erik

Maybe one more thing.... this is from Sivananda's "Conquest of Fear", I copy this for you, cause my knowledge of Vaishnava books is too poor, therefore I am still a complet neophyte, a total neophyte.... 3. Be Courageous, Friend Difficulties, adversities and sorrows Are Karmic Purgation; They instil mercy in the heart, They turn the mind more towards God, They are blessings in disguise, They help your evolution, And strengthen your will and power of endurance, They make you more wise and dispassionate. Muster courage and strength, Nil desperadum Friend! Draw strength from within, Move forward courageously, Look not back, Be regular in your meditation, Stand as a witness or Drashta, Identify with the Immortal Self You are born for higher things, A brilliant future is awaiting you, Apply diligently to Yoga, Unfold all latent faculties, Yield not to unmanliness, Shake off faintheartedness, Stand up, be bold and cheerful, Rejoice, enjoy and be blissful. Thou art not this body, Thou art immortal Brahman, Thou art eternal Atman, Thou art diseaseless Soul, Thou art blissful Svarupa, Thou art All-full Chaitanya, Thou art invincible Lord of lords. I have to say, that I don't agree with Sivananda that I am Brahman, I realized I am NOT.....i realized I cannot be God as well, I realized I am the servant of Krishna.....nothing more, nothing less.... And you know the Bible, just reflect over this.... Philipenses 1:6 How I wish I was so good in quoting the Vaishnava scriptures as well, guess I have to read a bit more.....

Wow.... I remember when I had a psychosis in 2002-2003-2004, I also thought some people would wanted to implant a transmitter in my tooth, yep, I had a psychosis, but....... Anyway, Don, I really feel for you, I really do.....yesterday I had a realization upon hearing a song from Dream Theater the day before, from the album "Six degrees of Inner Turbulance", the song is called "The Glass Prison" ....here's the text....the song lasts for 15 minutes.... I. Reflection Cunning, Baffling, Powerful Beaten to a pulp Vigorous, Irresistabel Sick and tired and laid low Dominating, Invisible Black-out, loss of control Overwhelming, Unquenchable I'm powerless, have to let go They can't escape it It leaves them frail and worn Can no longer take it Senses tattered and torn Hopeless surrender Obsession's got me beat Losing the will to live Admitting complete defeat Fatal Descent Spinning around I've gone too far To turn back around Desperate attempt Stop the progression At any length Lift this obsession Crawling to my glass prison A place where no one knows My secret lonely world begins So much safer here A place where I can go To forget about my daily sins Life here in my glass prison A place I once called home Fall in nocturnal bliss again Chasing a long lost friend I no longer can control Just waiting for this hopelessness to end II. Restoration Run - fast from the wreckage of the past A shattered glass prison far behind me Fight - past walking through the ashes A distant oasis before me Cry - Desperate crawling on my knees Begging God to please stop the insanity Help me - trying to believe Stop wallowing in my self-pity "We've been waiting for you my friend The writing's been on the wall All it takes is a little faith You know you're the same as us all." Help me - I can't break out of this prison all alone Save me - I'm drowning and I'm hopeless on my own Heal me - I can't restore my sanity alone Enter the door Desperate Fighting no more Help me restore To my sanity At this temple of hope I need to learn Teach me how Sorrow to burn Help me return To humanity I'll be fearless and thorough To enter this temple of hope Believe Transcend the pain Living the life Humility Opened my eyes This new odyssey Of rigorous honesty Serenity I never knew Soundness of mind Helped me to find Courage to change All the things that I can "We'll help you perform this miracle But you must set your past free You dug this hole, but you can't bury your soul Open your mind and you will see" Help me - I can't break out this prison all alone Save me - I'm drowning and I'l hopeless on my own Heal me - I can't restore my sanity alone III. Revelation Way off in the distance I saw a door I tried to open I tried forcing with all of my will and still The door wouldn't open Unable to trust in my faith I turned and walked away I looked around, felt a chill in the air Took my will and turned it over The glass prison that once held me is now gone A long lost fortress Armed only with liberty And the key of my willingness Fell down on my knees and prayed "Thy will be done" I turned around, saw a light shining through The door was wide open Don't know what I want to say with this, but it might help you a bit......I hope.... :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: Just....when you're not able to chant Hare Krishna anymore, then just cry to Krishna that you are crying over the fact you cannot chant anymore..... :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray:

Wow, That's pretty cool, I never got so close to aliens like you, I only saw this ship flying over me then, but UFO's are not alien to the ancients........hahahaha, sorry, but this was written funny....anyway, check out the photo album I made on facebook, a forum I'm on.... There are UFO's painted over the heads of Lord Jesus and Mother Mary and Mozes and these are Medieval paintings not modern..... footsteps of humans next to dinosaurs footsteps and soooooo much more, just click on the first picture to read it and proceed further...... http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=4784&l=83bb9&id=667445070 so check it out......

hey HARIBOL, I will contact you through your email soon.... cheers..

Well, when I was a little younger, I actually saw a UFO flying over my head in Rotterdam, it was so cool, it had the shape of a churchbell (yeah, this is the right description, just came up with it, couldn't find the proper word for it)...... Here is the story, I've posted it on a forum and I was pissed of because of the denial of the UFO in the papers, I was not the only one who saw it..... http://www.paranormalforums.net/viewtopic.php?t=4578&highlight=erik And while we are on the subject, I just came across a dream of somebody on another forum about fighting in Heaven, I'll check his other dreams in a second, the guy says he is only 17 !!! http://www.sleeps.com/forums/prophetic-dreams/8371.htm Haribol...

Hela... I have created an album on facebook.com about the history of man and many other cool things, about helicopter carvings in an 3.000 year old temple in Egypt, and check the UFO paintings from the 1300's , it's amazing..... http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=4784&l=83bb9&id=667445070 Haribolooooooooooo...

Hey Saskia.... cool that you met Dharmananda and cool to hear about him...... I am quite surprised by this reply because I didn't read my old posts anymore for some time...anyway, what kind of spiritual club you have started, would love to hear about it... Yeah, I am still teaching yoga in Radhadesh, but most of the students have essay's to write and are busy with their study, so there is not so much going on here now, I teach to groups that come here, in a few days a group of 28 persons and I think in July 70 people.....and inbetween a few more... Yeah, without Dharmananda I would have been a lost sheep, a black sheep, I gues, this man influenced me soo much, I owe him a lot.... Maybe you can check this out I made for him and my other 3 Siksha Guru's, it's an album on facebook.... http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=5212&l=0e005&id=667445070 Hope to hear from you again.....

Yeah.... I tried to tell many things, also that she would come back as a ghost, but she really didn't care about that, she said like : "We will see that then...." At the end of the telephone conversation I was desparate and didn't know what to say anymore....her mind was very much into it, you know....then I remembered something from the television I had seen years ago....that was a scene in which a man wanted to kill himself by jumping out of a window of a high building......he was standing on a edge outside of the window and the man who wanted to save his butt, had talked to him for a long time, but got so fed up with the smart answers that in the end the guy became irritated and told the potential suicidal guy to just go ahead and kill himself if he really wants......he said, with arm gestures and so, like...okey...then jump, men.....be my guest !!!!..... So I told the same to Patty and it became quite on the other side of the line for a while......then she said...sorry... twice and hung up on me...... I walked to my room and decided to chant, but got such a bad feeling about it, so I walked back to the restaurant to call her again, but got an answer machine....in which I spoke with very soft voice not to follow my advice......it was around 23.00 or so....I fel asleep with a very, very bad feeling and woke up 09.30 the next day......so late !!! I don't know....she didn't do it although it was also my fault that she was like that...I gave her hope for something, promised her "the best seat on the green hill for free" (that was in my dream, a few days before) and then dissapointed her big time......yes, I made a mistake, because of Kamdev, shooting some arrow on me........but there were many more factors, only this one was..."the drop that got the bucket to be overflown" as we say in The Netherlands.....no, that was the karate thing from her that same day, she was kicked out of the team for a strange reason and they verbally harassed her little kid......still she managed to be 3rd on the Dutch open championships...... Anyway.....I tried to kill myself twice, when I got back from India in 2003.....once taking an overdose of sleeping pills and I wasn't afraid, I felt myself a "chosen" person, "chosen" by God.....the second time it was because of a dream I had a week later....I jumped from an overway on the asfalt 5.5 meters down....again I wasn't afraid, felt it was the only and right thing to do.......yeah......protecting people who you love can express itself in many ways.......but the dreams, men !!! Haribol.....

Hey y'all, a few days ago my friend, Patty, was so fed up with life that she was ready to kil herself and able to cause more havoc......she wanted to throw herself for a train and even my telephone call to her didn't work, I told her for example that the soul is always desiring to get out of this material world and this was the wrong way to do it and so on....she refuted all my points, everything......she even didn't believe in God anymore, very strange for someone who clearly believes in reincarnation..... Anyway...she didn't do it, luckily, but it leaves me with a question..... What will happen with people who kill themselves, where do they go, what is the process of them to be reborn, how long does that take and so on.....I heard about Lord Shiva riding Nanda around the planet to pick up all these peole who kill themselves, becoming a ghost..... What do the scriptures say ???? Thankx in advance.....

Wow, so it seems i missed something, right ? I didn't know about it... Anyway, yep, we in Rotterdam are fixed in Sadhana, when i was there i did Mangala Arati and Guru Puja in front of my improvised altar there, but after a few days i got a little lazy, but i came back again. Spiritual life seems to be like a jojo, isn't it ? YS, Erik.

Haribolo Dev, yes i was in Rotterdam from the 12th 'till the 23rd or so this month, but i was not aware of any festival, i would go to the temple there but i had so many things to do, you will not believe.... Anyway, tell me about the festival and yes...Rotterdam is a great city, was a good place to be born in.....close to where i am now, thankGod, cheers, YS, erik

Hey, i remember a thing that happened to me in an unspecified time at an unspecified place..... Some unspecified woman told me one day to hang a poster of Shiva on the wall before my bed ( i was sleeping with my feet towards the picture) and put a key under my pillow with a glass or a bottle of water right under the bed, under the pillow, directly under the key.....and then go to sleep... Now, i don't know what happened, it felt like nothing happened, but i always wondered what this was... Somebody ?

Yep, brajeshawara is right, i just hated to walk around in a dhoti and i think it is still not my cup of thee, so to speak...but... At last sunday we were celebrating Lord Ram's appearance day, just two days before the actual appearance day, because of the tourists and devotees coming here.... And i had to act in the play we were performing, just remove some tables and background stuff, nothing specials.... So i came there in my Kali t-shirt (just love this bloody mess) and changed it after deep thinking, i wore a Krishna shirt. But then the director of it all, just before we started (the rascal;) ), he threw a whole set of orange Brahmachari clothes to me and said that i have to wear them...i was in chock, 'cause there was a dhoti there and i just don't like those bloody dhoti's..... But i did it and some devotees were helping me with dressing up in this thing....and i did what i had to do, and more then 75 people were watching me.... But the funny part...i really didn't mind this dhoti anymore, it was all good.....although still very weird for me, as i was a criminal, dating and exploiting prostitutes in the past, drinking, using drugs, i was a trained boxer, although amateur and being a though guy and so on....and now in a dress !!! Yep, you get used to those changes.... Erik.

Hey, nice subject... I read in the Sri Isopanisad in the introduction that if someone asks proof of that God exists or asks : "show me God"..then Prabhupada says : "But have you got the eyes to see God, if you cannot see your own hands when the lights are turned out, then what power do you have to see God ?...." This is just so cool, ain't it ? Prabhupaad kicks butt !!! I was recently in Rotterdam and saw my very atheist brother after a few months... He recommended me to read the book of Marquise the Sade, he said that because of that book he became a convinced atheist, so i didn't read the book offcourse, i have no interest in such books. So when i stepped into his shop we had a brief talk and then i asked him a question and i thought that i could nail him with this one... I asked him to show me the remnants of the mind when we die, if he could show me that, then i would be convinced that the mind is also gross material and cannot be taken with you after physical death. I really thought i was smart:D . Then he replied that there is no mind at all, because the mind is made out of chemicals in the brain and after death there is absolutely nothing, even no emptyness..... So i looked to the ground, thinking how to counteract this one, but i couldn't and i even thought by myself like...ahhh, never mind..... Yeah, it is difficult to talk to atheists about the existance of God. Erik.

Yeah man, without becoming an old sentimental man, i am only 38, i remember i always enjoyed watching the stars in the sky at night in the garden we had in Rotterdam in the street where i grew up, preferably in the winter, then i was amazed by them and wondered all kind of things, i used to climb the biggest trees (20 meters) to watch some light coming from behind the house, i wanted to check where it eminated from and saw the moon, i was amazed. Now i know why i was so amazed thinking where this all came from....... Erik. PS...i'll try to sent you a few transcendental samosa's by thought tranferrance, it's possible:).

Hey Theist, thankx for the answer. I always sing devotional songs while showering, and i sing Hare Krishna while showering. Yeah....your answer reminds me of a dream i had on december the 19th 2006....or was it the 17th.....i have to check this in my dreambook, anyway, this dream...i was in the basement of Radhadesh, in the devotees kitchen and Bhakta Rick and me had a conversation and he said, out of the blue : "We ourselves have to enjoy life !!". Now, i didn't understand this from him, as i was under the impression that Krishna was the Supreme Enjoyer and therefore we shouldn't enjoy life. I took it as a sarcastic message (we ourselves have to enjoy life), because i was rebelling against this statement that we couldn't enjoy all the time, by asking questions about it and then putting foreward my opinion that, at least, i enjoyed life always and promised that i kept on enjoying, no matter what, as i didn't want to become a frustrated and gloomy devotee, who denies himself enjoyment. I got many suspicious looks thrown into my direction, but that was because i was revolving and so on. But since not too long ago, i enjoy exactly like you describing, there is a forest around here and when i walk there, i really enjoy the scenery, the birds shirping and so on, the views on the hills. And then i think by myself : "Man, God/Krishna....this is already so far out....what if i would be on Vaikuntha for example..... And about the not so nice things in life...speaking of...today, the appearance day of Caitanya...everybody will have the best time of their life here in the temple and i....have to do service in the restaurant....on the busiest day of the week.....from 10.00 till 20.00....and all alone, since the manager hasn't returned from Germany yet.....can you picture it. ...the pizza's, veg.burgers, frites, samosa's to make....drinks to serve...cleaning, doing dishes and so on....yet i remember Krishna !! Jay !!! Erik.

Hello, well, i have just the most stupid question, i think, but it bothers me.... I take shower 2 times a day (must be 3, maybe in the future, we'll see), but i am very fond of taking looooooooooong hot showers. I don't know, in Rishikesh, and in most places in India i visited, i took cold showers, also in the morning, i just hated that, although i was completely refreshed after it. The long hot showers have a somewhat other effect, but i just like it. Now,.....is this some kind of sense-gratification ??? Erik.

so far out.... goodnight,

Yeah, i know, i was always very attracted to this time, watching Woodstock many times, tripping while hearing and watching the song : "Gonna take you higher" by Afro-Americans, i forgot their names, i wished i was there, and offcourse my man, Jimi Hendrix. I also like Molly Hatched, especially the song : "dreams i'll never see", actually i dreamt this song partially in Dehra Dun 2002. I should have known then that many bad dreams were not coming true. I will check youtube myself a little later on, thankx, Erik.

Hey man, yeah, Rasa, i really like the CD "Union", the Guru Puja song and the Govindam song, the first song i don't like. And "Temple of Love" is very auspicious, i played some songs during Yoga class, i think the first song, while i was undergoing some Kundalini thing, my heart opened up, you won't believe, but it didn't last.....even the memory has faded away. By the way...how can i listen to these Greatfull Death songs ? Are they on www.youtube.com ? I know a Kirtan on youtube i listened to when i was just a few months here, i was swept away by the lady leading the Kirtan, actually it was a Harinam and they are devotees of Chicago, USA. But this lady sang so nice and her appearance was (and is) so enchanting, her movements everything.... ..weird huh ? I watched and listened to this video many times, chanted many times in the same rhythms before sleep, now not anymore, but if you wanna know..here is the link... Haribolo, Erik. PS...i was a little enthusiastic with my comments....

Coooool.... so it is bonafide to compose songs for this age and times 2007 ! But it should be touching the heart, the music should trigger of a feeling of love for GOD:pray: . Or the music should sent shivers through the spine or make the hairs standing on end:eek: , should make people enthusiastic and interested in where this kind of music and mantra's are coming from, it should generate curiosity and wonder, they should jump around, what do these mantra's mean and believe me, it should alter the consciousness while playing, people should be struck like being struck by a beam of lightning while listening, they should think their materialistic lives over:crazy: ....... or am i exagerating now ? Or playing with the smilies ? I don't know, that's just the way i experience a good piece of music. Anyway, yes, me also was very sceptical with the Hare Krishna movement, when i saw them on the streets in Rotterdam, i thought at that time like : "what are these bunch of lunatics:wacko: jumping up and down in dresses and so on". But this was many years ago, more than 15. Also they had a bad reputation at that time, what i heard of them, like you had to give up family and i felt it was some kind of sect:mad: . And now... ....look where i am !!! Erik. PS...forgive me my playing around like a child with these smilies, it doesn't appear very serious..... . I am almost 39 !! Oh well.....

Haribol, i think that there are no new faces in the kirtan, because the music doesn't really appeal to the youngsters of our time, spoiled by house, techno and more very attractive musical tools in the hands of Maya. What if there would be talented youngsters with a vision of our times and transforming this vision into modern music, Krishna music, modern tunes, beats, with enchanting chants in it, maybe Krishna techno, reaggea, rock in the style and mood of Dreamtheater, Pink Floyd, Queensryche, Uriah Heep and Steve Vai for example. Just a few possibilities, i also heard many examples of powerfull kirtans from ShivaRam Swami and others i don't know the names of, but they will appeal to the youth one day, i am convinced. There is a new generation rising, just check this website www.yogamandir.com , click on events/retreats and listen to a song on which we do yoga, quite modern, complete with cool guitarsolo and chants. We are all Vaisnava yoga teachers, we start the class with chanting : "Om namah Bhagavate Vasudevaya" ,play the music (we can choose from 9 hours of modern music with chants), explaining our philosophy inbetween the asana's, telling Bhagavatam stories while lying in Shavasana and end the class with the same chanting, distributing Maha to the guests who came for this yoga...oh..and we do the call outs as well. I have also a CD called Vastu Purusha, harmony of space.....you won't believe how far out this CD is, except the last, 7th, song, that sucks. And the CD of Dasi, Karnamritam, pretty modern, and Rasa with their CD's, Pia with her Sanskrit songs, for example Gaura Nitai, just beautifull. I sent them to my ex-girlfriend as a present and she plays them frequently, tripping out on some songs, turning on the volume as loud as possible, especially on the Narasimhadev song of Vastu Purusha CD. SHE LIKES HEAVY METAL !!! and asked me who NARASHIMADEV is.... So there is hope that by music we can "steal away" their hearts and make the world more Godly consciouss, Krishna consciouss. YS, Erik. PS...i edited this post because i came up with a few more examples.

Dear Prabhuji's, thankx very much for your kind answers, this morning i woke up, this dream depressed me, i even didn't want to see the good omens in it at the end, i just don't like to change clothes and do all this trouble, my mind was blurred and rebellious and my head was warm and i was in this kind of mood:mad2: , but my mindset has changed, especially after your replies. This is part of the package, doing things the mind doesn't like...it's in service for Krishna, this is the Kriya part. Now i don't mind anymore, it's weird, i don't have any resentment against this changing of clothes anymore. Absolutely strange and alien to me how quick my point of view changed, unbelievable. So again, many thankx for your views:pray: . Erik.

Hello there, a few months ago, i was asked to do the transfer of the Maha Prasadam in the morning, but because it was difficult to keep up chanting, i was released from this service. Now i am doing the transfer again, but this time the lunch and i am preparing the fruit offering, washing plates etc... I am confronted with something i don't like and that is this constantly changing of clothes each and every time, i always have to be on the alert not to eat nor drink with clothes on in which i did the transfer with. Cause then i would be "contaminated". I asked devotees the reason why, but the answers where every time like this : "it is very subtle". Now, i am still wondering what they mean by this, what is subtle ? Nobody seems to come up with the answer of what this contamination is, how it affects me or affects the parapharanalia (i am sorry, i don't know how to spell this), what is this subtle something they mean, am i dirty then ? What are the mechanics behind it, i know of cleanliness, to be clean, but i want to know why......always.... Can somebody please enlighten me a bit with this ? My gratitude is as heavy as a mountain, thankx:) , Erik.

Haribol, well, i learned to offer everything back to God lately (in this life again), so even this poem comes from Him, i wrote it in a few minutes only, didn't understood where this was coming from the last few days, it's seems so easy, but God is all-powerfull, it's coming from Him, i'm writing like crazy lately, compose songs on guitar etc.... Anyway, i thank your Guru's and also you for transmitting his message, being an instrument in your Guru's hands, wonder when i will meet mine...... Erik.