Erik

Hey nectar seeker, you are most welcome in Radhadesh, prabhu. I am sure that there are devotees here who can help you, although i don't know anybody specialized in these mantra's. I do remember, not too long ago, a British devotee performed a fire ritual here in the temple, it was far out and i think i will ask around for people who followed his course, cause they were learning these mantra's and how to perform this fire ritual. Haribol, Erik.

Haribol Mahak, thankx for the reply, i was already afraid that i screwed up, not to be liked anymore by anybody here:crying2: , i know, it's a weird feeling. I dived down deep in my own psychology because of all this and learned a big big lesson, which will affect the rest of my life to come. You see, i worked for a few years as a barkeeper in a backpackers hostel in Rotterdam. There were many girls coming there for a few days and they wanted to have fun, because it is a holiday for them, they came from all places....USA, Israel, Austria, Turkey, Australia etc....and were very attractive. I always told them stories about India, reincarnation, karma, live and death etc...while drinking a nice wodka orange or any other liquors. But i told them these stories, not only to educate and entertain them, but also to....you know....sometimes i had 4 girlfriends in one week. And the guys were always saying that i was so lucky, looking up to me etc... So i was admired there, a big ego boost. Me, writing on those forums, posting my experiences, to entertain and a little preaching, i thought, was also having a subtle desire in itself to be admired, i now realize. And when people reacted against it, i became rebellious, cause how dare you.... go against this ego boost, right ? It was only on this forum that i got the advices not to post these kind of things, on other forums, it was encouraged. I don't want to be admired anymore, screw it, . Anyway, i will, when finished with this reply, delete as many as possible topics and threads on the other forums as that will make me feel better. I want to write a book in the future with selective experiences. Haribol and thank you, Mahak and i hope to read the Caitanya books soon, as i have to finish first the "Nectar of Devotion. All glories to the Vaishnava's who helped me understand....and also to the non-Vaishnava's offcourse, indeed ALL are equal !!! Cheers, Erik. PS...by the way, i wrote that poem early in the morning by candle light, as i didn't want to wake up Kavi, my room mate.

Hi, this is a short poem i wrote this morning, dedicated to Ragaji, Beggar, Mahak, Jai, Guruvani, Brajeshwara Das, Shiva, some Guests for their well meant advices and all who i forgot and Audarya Fellowship for tolerating me here : A clouded thunderous night over Radha-Kundha ....there comes the soothing sunshine to my eyes carrying some wise words to my soul there comes the dark clouds from within my mind fighting this nectar for my soul .....there comes the words of the advanced traveling from some corners of the world they come to pound upon this rebel inside breaking the walls, build one by one ....there comes the army of the Brahminhood set out for a destructive yet loving task there comes the soldiers of the wise marching over this ego tripping mind .....there comes the words sent by Krishna crushing to pieces this wrong release of energy there comes the words there comes the words I bow down in gratitude to you guys, and girl..... And a nice prayer from the Bhagavatam : Om namo bhagavate narasimhaya namas tejas-tejase avir-avirbhava vajra-nakha vajra-damstra karmasayan randhaya randhaya tamo grasa grasa om svaha abhayam abhayam atmani bhuyistha om ksraum which means : I offer my respectful obeisances unto Lord Nrsimhadeva, the source of all power. Oh my Lord who possesses nails and teeth just like thunderbolts, kindly vanquish our demonlike desires for fruitive activity in this material world. Please appear in our hearts and drive away our ignorance so that by Your mercy we may become fearless in the struggle for existence in this material world. SB. 5.18.8 Haribol. Erik.

Hey, thankx for the info, i guess destiny guides you to the Dham one way or another. cheers, erik.

Seeker, i cannot help you with what to do there etc...i think it is best to do some service there in temples or on schools or whatever, i don't know Vrindavan well, i have been there only 10 days and was not a devotee in the sense i am now. Anyway, what is proximity and how does it cause offenses to the Dham ? Erik.

Seeker, you are looking for something exalted which is very much in our reach. Our Yoga Teacher, Atmananda Dasa, was looking for a yoga teacher who could teach one year in Goverdham. I am doing service for Radhadesh, if not, i would have volunteerd for the job. Erik.

:pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: I hope, one day, to become fit, to publish such a book. I can only hope and beg for Krishna's mercy in allowing me to write in such a matter, a creative, poetic and constructive matter. I have strong faith for this, because it is something i really want to do. Faith sees the invisible, percieves the incredible and recieves the impossible :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: :pray: Erik. PS....and i really want to glorify Krishna and Vedic Culture through such a book, offering every little thing back to the One who is responsible for these dreams and experiences. I mean, if one offers it to himself and think big of himself about what has been given to such a person, then it will feed the ego......then it will drive him away from God and that is not what we want.

Haribol Shiva, thankx for the shared insight, much appreciated. One perfect example of such a devotee who is not to be obliged to follow any rules was Srila Vamsidasa Babaji Maharaja, a Vaishnava who lived in Navadvipa during the first half of the 20th century. His behaviour was so unusual that in any culture less enlightened than India, he would be considered crazy. He was about 6 feet tall, his hair and beard were uncut and matted, he never took bath and he had a wild expression in his eyes, he wore a loincloth only. He carried with him always the deities and talked to them. It is a nice story. And about this secrecy thing....i am indeed a beginner although i have spiritual experiences from 1997 on, since i first chanted the Hare Krishna mantra, i think that triggered it all off. Anyway, i have to be quick, i don't wanna miss Mangala Arati. When i, in the future, will be a senior devotee or whatever you call this, i will definitly publish a book about all my spiritual (not all, i think) experiences and my mystic and magical dreams. Haribol and thankx for the insight again. Erik.

Wow..... there was no mention of the very fact that Lord Jesus died, right ? Yet he died, left his body and travelled to the spiritual worlds, his task was done on earth. here are some sites, you might read for yourself, if you are interested www.tombofjesus.com http://www.salagram.net/Jesus-Went-To-India.htm www.comparativereligion.com/reincarnation3.html I hope, guestjustasking, you will have the time to read these and give some feedback on it... As a great admirer of Lord Jesus (i followed Him in a past life), Erik.

Hello people, i don't know how to "qoute" things, so i rewrite it.... Ragaji : My writing this at midnight in the darkness of Radha-kunda with a thunderstorm raging above my head no doubt contributes to the eerie atmosphere of the contribution. Well, what can i say ? I am cured by this raging thunderstorm above Radha Kunda, believe me, i will from now of on, read like a madman the scriptures and, as i go through them, summarize each and every story with all it's mysticism and magic and transcendence and loving and caring exchanges and appearances and so on.....summarize the stories and print them out, learn them by heart and read them (one at a time, offcourse) at the end of the yoga session, when people lie down in Shavasana, relaxed and receptive, people from everywhere, coming to Radhadesh, coming for a yoga experience. I think this is a way of good and humble preaching to start with, right ? It's entertaining and inspiring. So no more posting of my mystical experiences, mystical dreams dealing with the prema and darshan from whoever runs the show by the grace of Krishna, and so on. I will always keep this picture in my heart of a raging thunderstorm above Radha-Kunda with a fatherly Prabhu sitting behind his computer, taking the trouble to post a new thread, not even directed to me, but in general, and his wise words and quotes, coming from the shastra's and his compassionate heart, as laserbeams travelling from the screen into my eyes, piercing my brain and finally reaching my heart in turn, and make me realizing that finally this rebel in me has died, this rebel, who stood up against the other well meant, loving and caring advices given to me by different guests and prabhu's in my other threads, this rebel has surrendered, believe me. So Ragaji, again many thankx and i bow down mentally in gratitude at your lotus feet, for this correspondence was in it's own way, mystical and magical enough....raging thunderstorm over Radha-Kunda, can't believe it....so auspicious and beautifull.....what a picture to behold in front of my mental eyes when i step in my bed to rest in a while. Just so far out !!! And i never been to Radha Kunda but now i am suddenly quite attached to this place...phhhff...i cannot even describe properly my emotion, maybe i come up with a poem, one of these days. Anyway, i have to answer these questions of another guest about this Kundalini. Here we go.... 1. Does your Guru say that the awakening will burn your Karma and you will not be born again? In other words, the individual is enlightened or liberated. Sorry man, i have no Guru and this kundalini awakening was by far not even coming close to the real thing, i just had some nice and terrible experiences and i don't even know if it was purifying me. If you wanna know about the story of a former devotee, who met Prabhupada and was told by him that she would become Self-realized this life, here is the link, it is another kundalini awakening, Brahmanic, and for the ones who are not into Brahman talk, do not !!! http://www.kundalinisupport.com/swamiji.htm As for me...i don't care if i will be reborn again, i just wanna serve Krishna, nothing else. 2. Is there any physical difference in the body after the awakening? I think there shouldn't be, but i really don't know, never had discomfort. 3. Is awakening a process that ends definitely at some point or is it an ongoing process as long as the individual is alive? Again i really don't know, sorry i cannot help you with that. By the way, i just read your latest post and i read the article on the net a while ago, very interesting and i think the story of Gopi Krishna is at www.om-guru.com . But thankx for the tip. Beggar : Then there is the story he tells about some disciples of Srila Saraswati Thakur who went to their gurudeva and told him, "we have been chanting for several years but we don't feel or experience anything". Saraswati Thakur replied. " That you don't feel anything, that is a good thing. If had come and said that you had some feeling, some attainment, then that would be a bad thing." I think i would give up the process, as this is not encouraging at all to just go on with the chanting, i would give up, just like that, and find something that would give me that prema. I really don't understand these kind of words, maybe somebody can clarify that ? Wouldn't work for me....didn't they even feel some piece of mind ? I would throw myself completely on the Hatha Yoga process, eager to rise the Kundalini. I am going to sleep now, first i will check a picture somewhere on the net of Radha-Kunda. I will leave you with a beautifull poem, my former teacher of Rishikesh, Swami Dharmananda, wrote in his book "Advance Yoga Study" (available on the net as an free online book). Here it is : " Beloved Krishna, my heart so genuinely longs, to make my life Your creative song I wish to bloom in such a way that Your beauty gets reflected the purest way This desire to reflect You in me is what i carry deep within me will You, Krishna, will You help me please do, please do, I implore Thee You have given me much of what i wanted You have given me so much even unwanted will You now do me this last big favor help me to reflect Your beautifull flavor" This poem is called "Swamiji's aspiration". Goodnight folks.... Erik.

Hey, thankx for any reply. First i wanna answer the guest interested in Kundalini. Here are some symptoms of it, according to www.elcollie.com : Ecstasy, bliss and intervals of tremendous joy, love, peace and compassion Psychic experiences: extrasensory perception; out-of-body experiences; pastlife memories; astral travel; direct awareness of auras and chakras; contact with spirit guides through inner voices, dreams or visions; healing powers Increased creativity: new interests in self-expression and spiritual communication through music, art, poetry, etc. Intensified understanding and sensitivity: insight into one's own essence; deeper understanding of spiritual truths; exquisite awareness of one's environment (including "vibes" from others) Hearing an inner sound or sounds, classically described as a flute, drum, waterfall, birds singing, bees buzzing but which may also sound like roaring, whooshing, or thunderous noises or like ringing in the ears. But beware of the dangers, here are the symptoms of that : Pains and blockages anywhere; often in the back and neck (Many cases of FMS are Kundalini-related.) Emotional outbursts; rapid mood shifts; seemingly unprovoked or excessive episodes of grief, fear, rage, depression Spontaneous vocalizations (including laughing and weeping) -- are as unintentional and uncontrollable as hiccoughs Mental confusion; difficulty concentrating Altered states of consciousness: heightened awareness; spontaneous trance states; mystical experiences (if the individual's prior belief system is too threatened by these, they can lead to bouts of psychosis or self-grandiosity I had sounds in my head, like when i was chanting, suddenly a raging snowstorm raged through my head, the wind was crying through my brain and left me hypnotized for a while, i chanted in complete bliss. And also other weird phenomena, like a voice from within my mind, taking over my chanting for 10 minutes, i could just think of anything while this voice continued chanting Hare Krishna in the most coolest way. But also waves of devotion springing up in my forehead and those kinda things while chanting, really far out. My memory increased, i released a blockage coming from a psychosis (not kundalini related) from the past, but my moods were rapidly changing, one moment i could be in bliss and the next moment, if a devotee didn't greet me back (it happens) or if i was ignored when i was happy, i reacted furious mentally towards them, towards any person. All together this lasted from november 17th till december 13th 2006. Then i stopped my practices, doing pranayama from 01.30 at night, i did this just to concentrate the mind for better undistracted chanting, i had no notion of what was about to happen with me. I think, i don't know, but i know some small possibilities of awakening if it awakened properly, i think i will get a lot of Darshan, whether from the Gods or made up by my own mind, i don't know where it comes from, i onl;y know where my dreams are coming from. Anyway, i was normal before, became a little different during and became normal again after. It strenghtened my belief in Krishna as the one guiding me, one way or another, and my love increased as well. I will quickly go to the lecture now, the yoga course finishes tomorrow, i'll come back to add another reply, i have to post it, as devotees have the tendency to shut down the computer when nobody is around, cheers, erik.

Thank you very much, dear Ragaji, i will print out your wise words and just hang them on the wall or lie it on the desk, to reflect on daily. I remember that my first teacher, Swami Dharmananda, wrote in his book "Inner Yoga" a beautiful poem, that was called "Keep inner dialogue absolutely secret". So many people has advised me to do the same, on this forum. But i posted everything (well, not everything, offcourse) on some 11 different forums, that was because of this Kundalini like awakening, when all the memories of the past came back and then i got infected with this "posting virus" and shearing my experiences, which became obssesive. Before i was not like that, i have become like that, since december 16th 2006. I think i just print everything out, make a nice book of it and just let things the way they are, although i will not leave the forums right away and i cannot promis that i will never post a nice dream anymore, but this Krishna-Tulasi dream for example was not to be advertized to others, because there was a camera in the dream, denoting not to tell others things of a personal nature. I think it will be better for me to become again like i was with these things before december 16th 2006. Can somebody please, please tell me HOW to make Vedic Culture and Civilization attractive to people, without telling them my own magic and mystic experiences ? I mean, the youth of today, especially in the West, has a big hunger and appetite for the magic and the mystic, wicca (withcraft) is becoming more and more popular, mysticism is rising since this Churchianity lost it's influence, they always hated the magic etc.... They wanna see and read about examples, real life examples, what is really possible when your love for God increases, what is happening with such a person, i think that will attract them even more into Bhakti and a personal God. What do you think, so not telling our own experiences, not sharing them in public, yet make them attracted to Vedic Society, how to achieve that ? So how to shower mercy on the fallen Jiva's of this world of birth and death ? Any idea's ? Erik. And i know it is not all about the mystic things, but believe me, it helps....

I was rolling over in the chair, mentally, where i am sitting from laughter, internally, and i have this story about the socalled advanced TP sent to a devotee, she would love a story like this, this is just too much for me, thanks for this story, really !!! I can vividly visualize this "tale of the socalled thunder preaching TP":deal: . Many thankx !!! Erik.

Mahak, thankx for the compliment, i never, ever expressed myself the way i did as in the hospital and nowadays here. This is really due to yogic practises and offcourse the increasing development of love for Krishna by Bhakti Yoga, it raises some kinds Kundalini to flow upwards one way or another, i remember being institutialized in this lunatic madhouse then, i wrote more than 60 poems in 2 weeks !! Every little thing became an inspiration to just write them, although i have destroyed half of them, because i thought ....well...call it paranoia. And Kundalini is God's energy, contained in every human being, you can raise it yourself as well !! And i always keep in mind to offer any results of what i am doing back to God/Krishna as everything comes from Him, otherwise it will feed the ego and that's the beginning of the downfall, indentification with the mind, anyway.... Here are some symptoms of it, according to www.elcollie.com : Ecstasy, bliss and intervals of tremendous joy, love, peace and compassion Psychic experiences: extrasensory perception; out-of-body experiences; pastlife memories; astral travel; direct awareness of auras and chakras; contact with spirit guides through inner voices, dreams or visions; healing powers Increased creativity: new interests in self-expression and spiritual communication through music, art, poetry, etc. Intensified understanding and sensitivity: insight into one's own essence; deeper understanding of spiritual truths; exquisite awareness of one's environment (including "vibes" from others) But beware of the dangers, here are the symptoms of that : Pains and blockages anywhere; often in the back and neck (Many cases of FMS are Kundalini-related.) Emotional outbursts; rapid mood shifts; seemingly unprovoked or excessive episodes of grief, fear, rage, depression Spontaneous vocalizations (including laughing and weeping) -- are as unintentional and uncontrollable as hiccoughs Hearing an inner sound or sounds, classically described as a flute, drum, waterfall, birds singing, bees buzzing but which may also sound like roaring, whooshing, or thunderous noises or like ringing in the ears. Mental confusion; difficulty concentrating Altered states of consciousness: heightened awareness; spontaneous trance states; mystical experiences (if the individual's prior belief system is too threatened by these, they can lead to bouts of psychosis or self-grandiosity) Anyway, it would be nice to write poems ...mhhhh.......another spiritual ambition ? Haribolo, Erik.

Mahak, nice song-text, Prabhupada is indeed the Saviour of us and we must show much respect to him, as he really came to deliver us. I will give you some links to some cool Prabhupada and Krishhna video's from youtube.com.... Krishna video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9foQOoekzQ Gauranga video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fp7vvaVVyd0 Prabhupada video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lT8GGXJgJ0 Prabhupada video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tpis_LIcH_I Prabhupada audible http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYsykMNBOzA Prabhupada chanting Vande Ham on the Jaladutta http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYsykMNBOzA Enjoy !!! Erik. P.S you might be right about me, writing.... all over the 3 worlds....this salvation thing....let me just be a small particle in a big chain....and even then, if He wants me to be a small particle.......but you have to understand that in that time, after 2 suicide attempts (one time jumping from an overway from 5 1/2 meters down on the concrete, cars passing by etc...), i was so desperate, you won't believe....so in that state of mind, in utter despair, feeling myself being in the darkests depts of existance, left alone totally, forsaken by everybody (except my family and some hospics), mentally hurt and wounded, i wrote that poem....

Hey man, so i called my mother this afternoon and i noted the poem down as she spoke, i have translated it, but i have to say that i had a little help from Adam, an Irish participant from this yoga course we follow here. So i will highlight his translation of my words in the first verse. I just finished service and i am happy to finally write it down. Here we go : March 27th 2003, Erasmus Medical Centre, Rotterdam, The Netherlands : On the Edge of Eternalty.... .....standing on the edge of the abyss, the eternal radiant beauty of the Universe pours into my waiting eyes, the stairway to the worlds far and beyond is delicatly draped in the magic multicoloured - awe inspiring mystic mists of everlasting God intoxicated Bliss and Divinity... ....walking towards the most fantasticly amazing transcendental beings, everything is emanating humble servitude and total surrender. It is a blessing to be here, to be allowed to just be here, the mysterious music, penetrating through time and space, colours unmeaserable blue, passing me by in it's fullest glory, piercing the soul into the deepest core.... ....the Holy Names of the Almighty Lord are being chanted continuously, lovingly and attentivly, everything is centered around God and His servants. There is no disturbance here, all is perfect, you're wondering who would have the desire to descend again from this wonderous abode, unless it would be to serve and satisfy the senses of God, executing His will...... Oh Lord, allow me to pass through the gates of Your Kingdom, I do not have any other desire than to be with You, to serve You, to chant Your transcendental Names and to assist You in spreading Your loving, mercifull and compassionate message all over the 3 worlds, may anybody be blessed with a life like this....... I wrote this for myself at that time, but i can imagine Mahak being present there in those realms of existence. Haribolo, Erik.

Wow...... thank you Prabhu !!!!! :namaskar: :namaskar: :namaskar: :namaskar: :namaskar: :namaskar: :namaskar: :namaskar: :namaskar: :namaskar: :namaskar: What can i say, i just wanted to go to sleep, a little depressed as my project which i wrote down on the computer, took me hours to write, was accidentely deleted or so, because this Microsoft Word is totally in German and i hit, offcourse, the wrong button, heck, i can't read German !!! Deadline was tomorrow morning at 09.00 sharp...... But this is very, very cool, i cannot come up with an appropiate English word now for it. Thank you again ,bro, and i will write a poem for you, well, i already wrote that in this mental hospital a few years ago, but i will call my mother tomorrow to look it up in my house, there is a book with 35 poems i wrote in that time, a very dark time and now i remember one of them, i will dedicate that one to you ! Cheers and goodnight, Erik.