Tirisilex

As some of you already know I just recently converted form Buddhism to Hinduism. So I'm not very familiar to the beliefs and customs within. I'm trying to learn and I plan on visiting a Boston Iskcon center in a couple of weeks. Ive been wondering about the kind of games I play.. I play Roleplaying Games.. Like Dungeons and Dragons.. I play many different kinds of roleplaying games but they are all roleplaying. There is violence in these games depending on the storyline and who is playing.. Personaly I see no problem with these games. Some people like to claim that you can lose your mind in these games.. That is total nonsense. Small children play roles all the time.. "I'm Batman!", "I'm a dreaded pirate!".. If children can handle such concepts how moreso an Adult?.. I then think well the games are violent at times but when I examine myself in comparison to these games.. They do not influence my actions in real life.. for example: I will not even deliberatly kill a Mosquito.. I have great compassion In real life.. Doesnt that mean that these games are not degrading my morality? Any thoughts?

What are the principles you mention?

I'm very interested in this because of my mental illness. I havent found very much information on the practice. I know that it involves past life regression. I'm diagnosed as Paranoid Schizophrenic.. I know that the things I experience are illusions created from my mind.. I have studied the views of Yogic subconcious.. The samskara is the karmic impression within the mind where Vasana is the out ward manifestation of that impression. The voices I hear and the things that I see are Vasanas.. Which are created by the Samskara within my mind.. Samskara Shuddhi (From what little I know) claims to have the ability to destroy samskaras. SHuddhi I believe means cleansing.. I wish to cleanse my mind from my disease. I have been creating my own "practices" based on the limited knowledge of this practice and I have found it helpful.

**Then there are those people engaging in a form of **religious activities thinking that their 'works' or **karmas are mitigated or taken away by God - again that **understanding isn't sound. I have read that there is a practice called Samskara Shuddhi which is said to be able to destroy karmic Samskaras. According to this statement you say that its not possible..

What does this word mean?

Did you give me this address because they can set me up with a teacher via eMail?

OMG.. I just sat here and typed for about an hour explaining this and I accidentaly hit the escape key thus erasing everything I typed.. So.. I'll try again.. Well.. to start.. I found the closest Iskcon group to be in Boston Mass. I have tried to eMail them but none of them have gone thru.. Every eMail addy I used had been returned to my box.. So I called them and left a message about my eMail problem. I live in New Hampshire so Boston is still a rather big distance for me to commute to.. I'm also afraid to drive on the Highway as well as on the streets of Boston.. Having been brought up on New Hampshire roads. So I'm thiking of maybe taking a bus there. I have been reading the Bhagavad Gita and have been praying to Krishna.. I had mentioned in a previous post about how I had another intense experience.. I need to explain what I have been doing in order for you to understand this. I mentioned that I have been studying the book "Yoga: Immortality and Freedom" Now as I had learned in Buddhism that reality is an Illusion. However I had a very difficult time acknowledging my Schizophrenic experiences as Illusion. When I started studying the Yoga book it taught me about Vasanas and Samskaras.. After reading about these in the book I began researching it on the net. I came up with a strategy using the understanding of Vasanas and Samskaras. I created a "Mantra" to help me remember this new view of looking at my Schizophrenic Delusions. I would repeat "Vasana is the Illusion of Samskara" As I repeated this I would take the Schizo experience I was happening and associating it with a Vasana I would then recognize that this expereince is but a hallucination created by a samskara within my subconscious.. This practice helped me GREATLY.. I was able to dispell all my schizo experiences and live my day in peace.. I kept researhing on this and discovered Samskara Shuddhi. All I could find though were short descriptions of the practice and nothing really on how to do it. I had read that this practice has the power to destroy samskaras so you can understand my interest in it. I have found that the practice I created helps dispell the Vasana.. the real problem lies within the Samskara.. I kind of make a mental image of it as Samskaras being roots in my subconscious and they would grow with a stalk and then flower in my mind.. The practice was like taking scizzors and cutting the stalk thus preventing the flower from blooming.. The only problem is.. I cut one and then another grows.. and so on.. I need to rip the root out. I mentioned in a previous post that I had another Intense expereince.. It is rather difficult to exaplain so I will do my best.. I was sitting watching TV when a Schizo experience arose.. I tried to deal with it in the normal manner of identifying it as a Vasana but it was like It turned up the heat.. As if it said "Well.. our old tactics are no longer working.. Lets turn up the power to rule him in fear." I was able to stay calm but it was what it said that scares me.. It said that If I continue to do this it will make me lose my mind. So as you might expect this made me scared. One of the things Krishna told me when he revealed himself to me was that I NEED him in order to deal with this. The thing is how do I use him? I'm trying my best to stay calm and see this as illusion.. It's just how it said I was to lose my mind that gets me.. It said to me that it will throw all manner of illusion at me to break me.. That it will give me intense visual illusions that would make even the sanest man wimper. I'm still trying my best and I continue to do my practice I'm just a little shaken up by that experience. Any thoughts?

Never expected that.. You used my own words to answer my question.. and it was a good point.. thanx

When I experienced the presence of Krishna I had a feeling of unconditional love.. No matter what I could do.. Nothing would make him condemn me.. My Karma does that on its own just fine.. Does Krishna love with an unconditional love? My experience says YES! But when it comes down to it I really dont know much about Krishna. I have started reading the Bhagavad Gita. from what I have read I've been pretty much doing what Krishna says.. Ive been studying the book "Yoga: Immortality and Freedom" and have been doing some practices which have proven most beneficial to my state of mind.. Would Krishna proclaim unconditional love? I've already seen how believing that is so very helpful.. but is it the truth?

I had another intense experience today but quite different than the one I had.. I want to post it here at this site but I'm a little worried about some of the subject matter which is involved with it.. I wish I just had a teacher to talk to.. right now I believe a teacher is imperative.. I need someone who is knowledgable.. who understands.. someone to discuss this stuff with.. I do have a therapist but therapy is nothing like you see in the movies. I want to discuss my experiences and have someone to share it with who knows what I should do.

Well.. I was on my couch doing a meditation.. Because I am Schizophrenic I hear voices and I see things on a daily basis.. I had been studying my book "Yoga: Immortality and Freedom" by Mircea Eliade.. I came up with a meditation dealing with my Schizophrenic Symptoms.. By Identifying anything that arises to be a Vasana created by a Samskara.. So.. there I was meditating and idenitfying all that I experience (The delusions and Halucinations) as a Vasana Illusion.. My mind cleared and within my mind I could see him. It was as if I were in 2 worlds the physical and a mental and in both I was sitting in my apartment. Krishna was within the mental and he came and sat beside me. When I talked to him out loud.. I used my actual voice.. He spoke and I could hear him he sounded like a male teenager and he spoke to me as if we were friends for a long time. I guess some people may say well.. He's Schizophrenic it's all just another delusion of his mind.. If that is the case and seeing this Krishna is but a delusion. I dont want to be sane. It lasted about about 15 minutes.. He told me alot of things some by words others (this is hard to describe) just by his presence. Some of things he said were that he would never Judge me or Dictate to me like the voices I hear on a daily basis do. He said that I still need to go through some things and to be digilent in examining it and dealing with it. He told me to take things slow there is no reason to RUSH.. There is alot of things the one that hits me the most is that he has faith in me.

I thought you might like to hear this as well.. When Krishna revealed himself to me and I had that feeling of Peace love and Joy I wanted to cry.. but he was like "Why do you need to cry?" and he took that feeling of wanting to cry and was like. "Be HAPPY!" I was like.. "but it feels appropriate to cry at such an experience.." and I almost cried again but he took the tears away and said "Be HAPPY!" I never had such Joy and feeling of freedom.

**I am, however, interested why you want to go back to **Buddhism. **Now, if you seek a buddhisk monk, he will lead you to **buddhism and not to Krishna! You misunderstood.. I'm not looking for a Buddhist Teacher.. I was just stating that I had a Buddhist teacher and that I wish to find a new teacher who can teach me Krishna

I live in the Lakes Region of New Hampshire USA..

I had a Tibetan Buddhist Lama for a time But I havent spoken to him or taken his councel for quite soem time now. I'd like to find new one now.. especially after this experience.

He didnt actually appear in front of me.. It was more like he was on another plane.. He was blue and his body was in the shape of a teenage male.. He sat next to me and when he arrived he emanated joy and peace.. He put his arm around me and pretty much said "Hello.." It was amazing.. I dont know how to describe the rest.. He showed me that what I have been preparing to do and that my spiritual studies have not been in vain.. It's really alot to get into because it goes into the history of my life.. I had a dream when I was young around fourth or fifth grade. I dreamed I was standing on a road and there was this voice who said, "I can send you down a road of hardships.. You will suffer for a time but when you get to a point the suffering will leave and you will be a better person." He then sent me down the road in the dream.. I walked and as I did I experiences great fear and anguish.. but as I got further down the road these things began to fade and I felt free once I got to a point down the road. The voice then asked me if I accept this fate.. I thought to myself and I said "Well.. If I'm going to be alright.. sure.. I accept." I have remembered that dream for a long time.. I never knew who that voice was and recently as I have been doing a practice I been wondering who it may be.. Was it Jehovah? was it a Buddha? Some Spirit of light? NO! Krishna showed me that it was him who gave me that dream. There is ALOT for me to cover to explain the things he showed me.. But the biggest message is that my searching has not been in vain.. If I could only describe the Joy and peace and just how awesome he was.. It was like he was my best friend.. The best friend I could ever have.

I have been posting at this site off and on for a few years now. I've asked very few questions about different subjects. I had a great experience today and I just have to share the experience... I was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia in 1992. I had this experience back then that made me into a spiritual seeking person.. I went imediately to the religon that was taught to me in my Childhood which was Christianity. I had become a fanatical Pentecostal Christian and I loved righteousness.. my experience with this religion and suffering with Schizophrenia put me thru alot of amazing and aweful experiences... In 1999 I left Christianity and came to Buddhism. Buddhism fascinated me and showed me truths that Christianity seemed to ignore.. I learned alot thru Buddhism and about 2 years ago I started looking into Hinduism.. When I became a Buddhist and forsook Christianity ALOT of my suffering from my Disease was subsided.. But I still did suffer.. Because of Buddhism I accepted Hinduism with Open arms.. I've been struggling with my Demons now for a long time.. I prayed to Buddha and I prayed to Krishna.. And I've been examining my mind and my problems and recording them in Journals.. Its really alot to get into and I would LOVE to discuss what I can to someone who may help me or be interested. But today something incredible happened.. I have been doing a routine I have been practicing where I examine my mind and the Voices I hear and all of a sudden I dont know how to describe it.. I saw Krishna and he presented himself to me.. It was AMAZING!! He took all my fears away he accepted me, he loved me, He did not Judge me, He showed me a glory I have never experienced.. He filled me with Joy he was just AWESOME.. I now come to this website because my knowledge of Krishna is limited and I desperately need advice a teacher or something. I need to have this experienced nurtured and properly guided. I need someone to talk to.. I dont know where else to turn at this moment.. I have never felt such peace as I have today.

I know that in Tibetan Buddhism there is the practice of the 35 Buddhas which is able to forgive and purify past "sins." Does Hinduism have a practice like this?

Is there a specific practice of Samskasra Shuddhi? I've been trying to research this online but all I find are descriptions of what it is and not how to practice it.

Can someone suggest a good book on this subject?

How do the Karmic impressions within a mind relate to the current experience and how do they connect as one?

Can noone answer my question?

Mara is the universal illusional reailty.. the whole of samsara. According to Yogic philosophy our current experience is shaped by Vasanas.. Vasanas are the blooming of past Karmic Actions. Vasanas are created by subconsious impressions called Samskaras. Samskaras are at the base of subconscious mind. Demon oppression is formed by samskaras. The concept of a demon pestering someone is a Vasana created by a karmic samskara. It can be traced back into infinity how Vasanas created a Samskara which creates a Vasana and so forth. How can you describe How a concept arises in mind from the "Demonic" samskara in subcosnscious mind and how it relates to the observer other than thru Karmic Tendency. Instead of saying you are suffering by this concept of a demon because you are paying karmic retribution but instead saying this concept of a demon arising is a makeup of illusional reality within your mind. I dont know how to word my question.. How do the Karmic impressions within a mind relate to the current experience and how do they connect as one?

I've been watching my mind and I have noticed or should I say witnessed Vasanas created within my mind. For example when I dream at night I see how concepts and people within my dreams are vasanas created by the previous days activities and thoughts. I'm wondering if there is a book that goes in depth about these things. Where it explains the creation of Samskara.. the development into a Vasana and how Karma relates to these.. Any help would be appreciated..

I've been reading and came across a story about an Apsaras. This made me do a bit of searching online to get more info as to what they are. There was one site in particular that stated that Apsaras are very beautiful and have lured men to their death. I was wondering if somone could direct me to stories of such occurances. Are Apsaras malicious in intent and deliberatly lead men to their deaths or are these accidents?