atma

Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here'a prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist University. In-class Assignment for Wednesday; "Today we wiull experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his other inmediate right. One of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. the first person will then add a third paragraph, and so back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached. The following was actually turned in by two of my English students, Rebecca and Gary" 'At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much, her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question. Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an airheaded asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over ayear ago. "A.S Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator."Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..."But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit. He bumped his head and died almost inmediately, bt not before he fell one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth - when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully. Little did she know, but she has less than ten seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Au'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peacenicks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated the attack. The president, in his top secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The president slammed his fist on the conference table."We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty!Let's blow'em out of the sky!" This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic,semi-literate adolescent. Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. *$%^&%# #$%^&

Last night I slept 7 hours, a record for me lately. I think because of all your blessings and well wishes JNdas you have to get me Surendra's address. He's amazing. The first time that I met him, he told me to write 3 questions in a paper and put it in a envelope. He put the envelope in the lotus feet of Lord Nrisinhadev and without reading the questions he answered them! I was quite impressed to say the least and everything came true! Doesn't A.T. have his address?

I can't sleep! Any herb for that?

So sad, I remember those murtis, and still ring in my ears Deena Bandhu's voice telling the story and making all the funny faces. Maitreya, you should go with Deena Bandhu to the holy places. He knows all the pastimes and the language too. Is a nectar to go in pilgrimage with him.

From my experience, Srila Prabhupada is my personal guide even though I never met him personally. I met the devotees in 1979 and because of Srila Prabhupada's books I joined the movement. In his books I finally got the answers to my philosophical questions about existence, karma, reincarnation and most of all about who is God. I'm getting Srila Prabhupada's guidance everyday because I read his books and I know he is accepting me because he told me so through his murti form in Vrindavan. He is my inspiration to continue in the spiritual path and I'm eternally indebted to him.

Gee guys, thanks for the advise. My problem is that I work in the evenings and reach home almost at midnight. Have no problem going to sleep inmediately but somehow I wake up before 5 AM and I can't go back to sleep even though I tell my mind to go back to sleep because I need to rest. Living so close to the temple I hear every single noise, Mangal Aratik going on, conshells, devotees chanting, others that walk and don't think and in the end I get up and chant japa instead of wasting my time tossing in the sleeping bag. During the day I can't close my eyes because is so much going on. The bags under my eyes are reaching my knees, I'm not exagerating. I'll try whatever you say, let you know after few days. JNDas, can't you get me some of that oil from Surendra? He knows me from Bangalore and Mayapur. He is a very good astrologer.

Why it is that valerian reminds me of cats? Maybe I read it in a novel or something? Sure that you don't want to poison me?

I only know one. American, Prabhupada's disciple, great story teller. Used to be in Portland or Seattle in the 70's. Ex-wife in Alachua.Lives in Krsna-Balaram Mandir in Vrindavan.

Hello,hello,there. French men are quite nice is I have to say it. Someone told me that Srila Prabhupada said that: "English is for business, German is for dogs, French is for love and Spanish is for talking to God." Did anybody heard that before? Maybe the guy told me that just to impresses me BTW, I like Brad Pitt with his funny face. If he can make money out of it I think he's smart enough. I agree that Gauracandra is jealous of him. When did you see his latest movie? [This message has been edited by atma (edited 06-10-2001).]

Nothing to laugh about it, but this reminded me about the naga babas in Kumbha Mela. Those are quite a lot. They sent word to the Iskcon camp last January that they wanted all the foreigner women out of the Mela otherwise they would rape them! Scary guys!! Maybe some tantrik was using the skulls for his special purpose. Once in Mayapur when only one building was standing in the grihastha area and we were surrounded by paddy fiels, far away from everybody some robbery took place.It was a buildind with four apartments and my neighbor called a tantrik to find out who did it. The tantrik came and order one of the peon to go to the burning ghat and bring a fresh skull!! Even though the peon didn't want to do it he was so afraid of the tantrik that he did so. the tantrik did all his stuff outside my house and he used the skull. He made the anouncement in front of the villagers that within 3 days the thief will give back what he stole. Everybody was afraid. i just was worried that he take back with him all the spirits that he brough along. He assured me that whatever came with him, was going with him. Three days later and nothing happened. Wondering if the tantrik was just a bluff we came to know that the Krsnagar police used his services too and one night when he was in the crematorium trying to get information about some murder case to help the police somebody came from behind and killed him! I think I went off telling about this. Just memories of India.

Maitreya: if I'm you when winter hits Vraja I would go South. Puri has the best weather in winter and you can bathe in the ocean even in december! The locals will look at you like you're completely nuts because for them will be freezing cold but it's really nice, and Puri is so incredible. You can continue South and go see Balaji and maybe Kanchipuram. Continue on reach Bangalore and see the Iskcon temple there that is really something and maybe visit jndas in Mysore! Go on to Sri Rangam, Guruvayor, Udupi, from there you can go to the Iskcon farm in the Kulachadri Mountains, and go to Apsara Kund and the waterfalls (don't remember the name). Those mountains are a piece of the mountain that Hanumanji carried with the herb for Laksman when he was wounded. The atmosphera there is peaceful and soothing. Tattva darshan prabhu is an incredible host and his wife is the greatest cook! You can go to many places and get purified with all the holy association of the places and sadhus there. Just an idea. That cold in Vrindavan is a little bit too much for me and most of the people seems depressed because they don't see the sun for weeks! maybe only my imperfect perception.

sdk: please tell us about Balaji. I went there years ago and the experience was incredible. Somehow in the middle of summer we made it to Tirupati and we stood with all the pilgrims waiting for darshan. Our group consisted of a Japanese, a redheaded Costa Rican, a Madrasi and your lowly servant. We chanted with everybody, "Govinda, Govinda" waiting in the long lines. So many of the pilgrims were shaved up, including the women. They donated their hair. Too vain to do that, we prefered to take the gold earrings from our ears and the rings from our fingers and donated to the Lord. Darshan of Sri Venkateshvar was awesome to say the least and the ladhus that we had for prasada were really tasty. I'm praying that one day may I be able to go back to Tirupati and Tirumala and have darshan of the Lord again. I also remember the temple of Govinda before you go up the hill.

sdk: please tell us about Balaji. I went there years ago and the experience was incredible. Somehow in the middle of summer we made it to Tirupati and we stood with all the pilgrims waiting for darshan. Our group consisted of a Japanese, a redheaded Costa Rican, a Madrasi and your lowly servant. We chanted with everybody, "Govinda, Govinda" waiting in the long lines. So many of the pilgrims were shaved up, including the women. They donated their hair. Too vain to do that, we prefered to take the gold earrings from our ears and the rings from our fingers and donated to the Lord. Darshan of Sri Venkateshvar was awesome to say the least and the ladhus that we had for prasada were really tasty. I'm praying that one day may I be able to go back to Tirupati and Tirumala and have darshan of the Lord again. I also remember the temple of Govinda before you go up the hill.

What about when Srila Prabhupada was talking to a monkey? Yamuna Devi told that story somewhere. Lucky monkey , he got Prabhupada's sandals and lived in Vrindavan. Who knows, maybe he is now in Goloka. That is that thing that baffles me the most. Tha inhabitants of the dhama (animals and humans). So difficult to understand them and still somehow they are there getting all the mercy.

Four fathers went golfing one day. three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to pay the green fees. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons. The first man told the others, "My son is a homebuilder and he is so succesful that he gave a friend a new home for free." The second man said, "My son is a car salesman and now he owns a multiline dalership. he is so succesful that he gave a friend a new Mercedas fully loaded." The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, "my son is a stockbroker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio.' The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes. The first man mentioned, "we are just talking about our sons. How's yours doing?" The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay nightclub. I'm not totally thrilled about it, but he's doing really well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes and a entire stock portfolio!"

I know, just yesterday I read in AOL that laughing is good for health, but I lost the link. Anyhow here goes another one.

The following conversation between His Divine Grace A.C.Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada and a journalist took place on December 30,1968, in Los Angeles. Journalist: I think an awful lot of our readers, and an awful lot of people in The USA, are terribly confused with the many people who claim to be avataras and who come from India to this country, one after the another. Srila Prabhupada: I can declare, they are all nonsense. Journalist: Could you elaborate on that a little more? Srila Prabhupada: And I can say furthermore, they're all rascals. Journalist: The Maharishi,for example. Srila Prabhupada: he is rascal number one. I say it publicly. Journalist: Could you explain that, give a little background on that. Srila Prabhupada: From his behavior I can understand that he is rascal number one. But the wonderful thing is that the people in the Western countries, they are supposed to be so advanced. How are they befooled by these rascals? Journalist: Well, I think people believe what they want to believe. they're looking for something, and he comes along... Srila Prabhupada: yes. But they want something very cheap. that is their fault. Journalist:Yes. Srila Prabhupada: Now, for our disciples, we don't give anything cheap. Our first condition is character, moral character. You see? So unless one accepts moral character, we don't initiate him. We don't allow him in this institution. And this Maharishi says,"Oh, you do whatever you like. You simply pay 35 dollars and I'll give you some mantra" So people want to be cheated, and many cheaters come. Journalist:Instant heaven. Srila Prabhupada: Yes. Journalist: The maharishi turned me off, and so many people. My daughter was involved in that kind of thing for a while, and she is terribly disillusionated. Srila Prabhupada: Yes. The psychology is that your people, all the Western people, especially younsters, they are hankering after something, you see? But if somebody comes to me and says,"Swamiji, initiate me," I inmediately say,"You have to follow these four principles (no meat eating,no illicit sex, no gambling, no intoxication)." And he goes away. And this Maharishi, he did not put any restriction, you see? Just like a physician might say,"You can do whatever you like. You simply take my medicine, and you'll be cured." That physician will be very much liked. Journalist: Yes, he'll kill a lot of people, but he'll be very much liked. Srila Prabhupada: Yes [Laughs]. And if a physician says, "Oh, you cannnot do this, you cannot do that, you cannot see this," that will be seen as a botheration. So people want something. That it is a fact. But at the same time, thay want it very cheap. therefore the cheaters come and cheat them. They take the opportunity. "These peoplewant to be cheated. Oh, lets take advantage." They are advising, "You are God, everyone is God. You just realize this yourself. You have forgotten you are God. You take this mantra, and you will become God and become powerful. Whatever you like, you can control. But there is no need to control your senses. You can drink, you can have unrestricted sex, and whatever you like." People like this."Oh, simply by 15 minutes of meditation I shall become God, and I have to pay only $35. Thirty five dollars is not so much. But 35 multiplies by a million becomes 35 million dollars. But we cannot bluff. We say that if you actually want spiritual life, you have to follow the restrictions. If the commandments is"You shall not kill," I cannot say,"yes, you can kill. The animal has no feeling. The animal has no soul," We cannot bluff in this way. Journalist:Well, that's just about it. That's what I wanted to know. It's a shame that this thing, as I say, has turned off an awful lot of kids, a lot of very disenchanted young people because.... Srila Prabhupada: So please try to help us. This movement is very nice. It will help humanity. It will help your country, the whole human society. It is a genuine movement. There is no bluffing, no cheating. It is authorized. Journalist: Authorized by whom? Srila Prabhupada: It is authorized by Krsna.

Thank you for all the feedback. The interesting part here is that the persons that know her personally told her to go ahead and go for it! I guess because they see her material situation like kind of hopeless at the moment. She is not a Hare Krishna even though she is spiritual and with a heart of gold. Let's see how the situation develop. Very nice from JRdd and Animesh to offer help, that was very touching. Thank you!! Personally, I'm really into feelings and emotions, that's why I'm so entangle in this world but I won't judge her because who am I to throw the first stone? Sometimes circunstances make us choose things that seem wrong but in the long run, who knows, could be the best for her spiritual growth. Until she finally surrender to the Supreme Lord, like all of us must do to achieve happiness.

Element name:MAN Symbol:XY Atomic Weight:180+/-50 Physical properties; Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with Kd (Element:Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by dousing with alcohol. Usage: None known. Possible good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command. caution: in the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begings to smell. ____________ Element Name:WOMAN Symbol:WO Atomic Weight don't even go there!) Physical properties: generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melt whenever treated properly. Very bitter if not used well. Chemical properties: very active. Often unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen. Usage: highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known. Caution: highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

My friend is telling me that if women have to be always protected and now her karma is giving her this older man for her protection, why not to take it? Not feelings involved now but maybe if he is kind to her she may get attached to him. Marriage is not in the cards yet, just the beginning of a relationship. Attachment will be there anyhow to him or to somebody else. The point here is that feelings shouldn't be important because is something temporary and based in lust. What about all the arranged marriages in Asia and the middle east? The couples don't know each other and the families arrange everything mostly because of economical considerations. In the name of forming a family and companionship they get married when the real issue is having legal sex.

I knew that you'll luv that one! Just to give you a break sometimes.

On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded: Two Italian men and one Italian woman Two French men and one French woman Two German men and one German woman Two Greek men and one Greek woman Two English men and one English woman Two bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman Two American men and one American woman Two Irish men and one Irish woman One month later on thia absolutely stunning island in the middle of nowhere, the following things have ocurred: a..One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman. b..The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois. c..The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the german woman. d..The two greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cooking and cleaning for them. e..The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. f..The two Bulgarian men took one long look to the endless ocean and another long look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming. g..The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions. h..The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/liquor/store/restaurant/laundry and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store. i..The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, because the American woman keeps on complaining about her body, the true nature of feminism, how can she do everything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is improving, and how at least the taxes are low and isn't raining. j..The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. they do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the few litres of coconut whiskey. But they're satisfied because at least the English aren't having any fun.

There was this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He didn't move for a half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble making truck driver stepped up right next to him, took the drink from the guy, and just drank it all down. The poor man started crying. The truck driver turned and said: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying." No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life. First, I overslept and was late for an important meeting. My boss become outraged and fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out that it was stolen. The police said they could do nothing. I then got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was with the gardener. I left home depressed and came to this bar. And now, when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, YOU show up and drink my poison.

It is said in the sastras that in this material world is not love, only lust. Real love is only for God. So-called love here is just for the satisfaction of the senses and is temporary. That in a very short version. The pandits out there can elaborate.

This is a real situation, a woman that I know is in a dilemma. Somehow for some time she's been strugling materially. Working hard she hardly managed to pay her bills. Out of the blue this 70 years old man is showing interest on her and wants a relationship. He is quite well off and would be able to take care of her nicely. She is much younger than him and have no emotional or physical attachment to him. If material love is only an illusion, shouldn't she just go for it and be practical? Give some happiness to the old man and get material security? Any opinions on this?