atma

My Punjabi neighbours in Calcutta swear that putting your own urine in your ear will cure any infection. I never tried, I always finished in the doctor's office where he inserted a big syringe in my ear and washed out all the fungus that was there This white balls coming out of your ear, really creepy. I guess I waited too long. The doctor always told me to keep my ears dry, my problem is infection because of water on my ears, now the problem is under control, earplugs every time I wash my hair or swim. I still wonder why Indians believe so much in urine as medicine, my Madrasi friend in Vrindavan swears for it too and for anything her kids suffered there was the urine for relief. If urine is part of the elimination from our body how can be beneficial to drink it or use it as medicine?. Maybe in the past but now with everything we eat and drink so full of chemicals and who knows what else how can it help? Anything in the vedas?

For vegetarian restaurants and health food stores around the world.

A bit of American History to make you Smile. On July 20, 1969, as Commander of the Apollo 11 Lunar Module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, "THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND," were televised to earth and heard by millions. But just before he reentered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY." Many people at Nasa thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American Space Programs. Over the years, many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled. On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died, so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question. In 1938 when he was a kid in a small midwest town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit the ball, and it landed in his neighbor's yard by the bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. "SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN THE KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!" TRUE STORY

Maddy is one of the funniest guys that I ever met. He is really witty and fast. He was in the end of that movie with the Titanic girl. I think was "Holy Smoke"????, holy something or maybe was smoke something. Whatever. He was the boyfriend for 3 seconds. I just finished reading a piece by Ananda Tirtha on Navadwip Chandra putting on white. It was funny too, especially if you know the people involved. I have fun with the kulis and I learn from them. Over here some of the boys are helping with Ratha Yatra and they are making a nice website for it. An avalanche of kulis is coming for the festival and is always nice to see them.

A Gurukuli Dictionary By Maddy A aparadha (n.) [as in "to commit an aparadha"] to blast, roast, gruel (British usage), chew out, harass, or dis (American usage). aspiring (v.) guru-hunting, guru-flirting, guru-shopping, guru-scoping, and so on. associating (n.) second marriage; not married before the sacrificial fire. austerity (n.) toilet cleaning. See also service. B bhakta (n.) bottom of the food chain; the people who don’t get maha sweets. Also musical bhakta: a unique ‘avadhuta’ bhakta who is exported and repeatedly shifted from temple to temple. Also boomerang bhakta: when the above scheme fails and the ‘importing’ temple stamps "Wrong Address: Return to Sender" on said bhakta. See also austerity. See also TP. bhakta poaching (n.) when one temple does the preaching and the feeding and another one smoothly shaves and bundles him off to their temple. Usually occurs at large gatherings of potential joinees, e.g. Rainbow Gatherings. bhakta leader (n.) he that gets you off the mental platform by administering said beating. blasting (v.) explaining the philosophy to a non-devotee; giving the mercy; general fits of impersonating Srila Prabhupada’s accent and heaviness. bloop (v.) to eat chocolate near the temple or watch the in-flight movie with headphones. bogus (adj.) generic abbreviation for "I don’t know the Sanskrit to prove you wrong". boil sprout (n.) the maha thief in India. boomerang bhakta: see bhakta. brahmana (n.) dude with the thread who doesn’t do the service. See also sudra. BSP (n.) [abbr. brief samadhi period] sleeping in Srimad-Bhagavatam class. C CID (n.) [abbr. Compulsive Initiation Disorder] cases found exclusively in gurus of the last twenty years. CTD (n.) [abbr. Compulsive Traveling Disorder] serious cases found in gurus and sannyasis. May extend to TPs, too. D determined prabhu (n.) second-time vanaprastha on the sannyasa list, again. devotional singer (n.) he that possesses no ear for music or tone; to have bad vocal chords. Also known as alternate singer. disciple poaching (n.) [archaic since late 1980s guru reforms] initiating into someone else’s zone. See also bhakta poaching. DM (n.) [abbr. devotee maintenance] three dollars per month laundry allowance usually spent on chocolate and movies. E extended pranam (n.) see pranam. F fall down (n.) refers to the actual offense of shaggery or buggery. See also falling down. falling down (v.) refers to chatting up, flirting with, or checking out matajis. Sometimes referred to as passing the ghee lamp. fringie (n.) guys in bhakta pants and kurta wielding the tiffin at the front of the Sunday Feast line. G gopi (n.) members of the gopi-bhava club or premature raghanuga-bhakti interns. grhastha (n.) guys in the temple room sporting visible underwear lines; to wear the ‘other’ underwear. H harinam (n.) see sankirtan. hitting the deck (v.) see pranam. humbles. [from PAMHO or "please accept my humble obeisances"] trendy greeting. See also VKji. I IZB (n.) [abbr. illegal zone breach] [archaic since late 1980s guru reforms] sneaking into someone else’s zone and either making money without giving a cut to said zone’s guru or invading into that zone to carry out illegal disciple farming and harvesting. See also disciple poaching. J japa (n.) see sankirtan. japa demon (n.) one who monopolizes the sound area with vigorous chanting. japa patrolman (n.) guy who scopes your counter beads, looks you over with measuring eyes, and asks knowingly, "How are you today? Are you chanting your prescribed number of rounds?" Jai’s Secret (n.) [from jai meaning victory, hence Victory’s secret] kaupinware made from silk. K kama (n.) desire; inclination to horniness or randiness; showing much attention to the back of the temple room. See also falling down. kuli (n.) [abbr. gurukuli] non-joiners; inborn members who do drum wailing (see play mrdanga) and have smart philosophical answers for everything. kuli-tag (n.) kuli-wannabes who never join, but hang out and crash the reunions. L life member (n.) that Indian lady who walks through a boring class and nonchalantly farts on her way out without batting an eye. M mataji (n.) the gals at the back. maya (adj. n.) general blacklisting label often used to proclaim users ignorance. mental platform (n.) not being sure if the mind needs the shoe or the broom for the morning beating. See also bhakta leader. musical bhakta (n.) see bhakta. modes (n.) [usage "the modes"] state of being all partied out, for example after a gulabjamun-eating contest. MG (n.) [abbr. marriage guru] non-married member of the society who arranges short-term marriages. N O old school (adj.) disciples of Srila Prabhupada; those that start conversations with, "I remember you when you were only this big…" or "I remember back in ’69 in Berkeley…" P passing the ghee lamp (v.) see falling down. play mrdanga (v.) to wail on a drum. pranam (v.) to recognize, give much respect, or give much love. Also known as hitting the deck. Also extended pranam: state wherein exhaustion has overcome the devotee and he never gets back off the floor. May be accompanied by snoring. pujaris (n.) chubbier devotees with 24-hour access to the maha-room. Q R RDMC (n.) [abbr. Russian Database Marriage Candidate] late-blooming forty-plus brahmacari. See also WMF. S sahasrakoti. [from sahasrakoti dandavats or "one thousand million obeisances"] trendy greeting. See also VKji. sanga (v.) to chill with, hang out, or be tight with. sankirtan (n.) to get down and boogie with the mantra; to "groove with the Krishnas". Also known as harinam when taken to the hood; also known as japa when confined to a bead bag. service (n.) sweeping, vegetable cutup, pot washing, wall painting. See also austerity. Siva-puja (n.) to smoke the other kind of incense. sudra (n.) the guys who do the service. See also austerity. See also brahmana. space out (v.) condition referring to devotees in Srimad-Bhagavatam class. See also BSP. squeeker (n.) high-voiced devotee who controls himself with extremely tight kaupinware. stool (n.) generic all-purpose ISKCON criticism of anything and everything. T TP (n.) [abbr. temple president] the guy near the top the food chain who gets all the maha. See also bhakta. U utsahan (n.) waking up at 1:00 AM and doing your rounds and reading. V VG (n.) [abbr. virtual guru] gurus who recruit, cultivate, and carry out relationships with disciples electronically through e-mail or by ‘snail’ mail. VKji [abbr. vancha kalpa] trendy greeting. See also sahasrakoti and humbles. W wipers (n.) karmis; those dirty toilet toilet-paper-smearing non-squatters. WMF (n.) [abbr. Will Marry for Food] the lustier bhaktins. (You know the ones I’m talking about.) See also RDMC. X Y Z

A policeman interrogates three blondes who are training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for five seconds and then hides it. "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The first blonde answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "Well, uh, thats because the picture shows his profile." Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for five seconds at the second blonde and asks her, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" The second blonde giggles, flips her hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?! Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?" Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?" He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "Hmm, the suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know if the suspect wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspects file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I cant believe it. It's true! The suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?" "That's easy," the blonde replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."

In my humble opinion Karthik and Krsnas are offensive,maybe out of ignorance, sarcasm doesn't help Karthik and all those quotes as Gauracandra pointed out were not by Jesus. Just follow Srila Prabhupada and appreciate the devotees of the Lord who came to this material world to deliver us, fallen souls.

Srila Prabhupada on Lord Jesus: "The Srimad Bhagavatam states that any bonafide preacher of God consciousness must have the qualities of titiksa (tolerance) and karuna (compassion). In the character of Lord Jesus Christ we find both these qualities. He was so tolerant that even while he was being crucified, he didn't condemn anyone. And he was so compassionate that he prayed to God to forgive the very persons who were trying to kill him. (of course, they could not actually kill him. But they were thinking that he could be killed, so they were commiting a great offense.). As Christ was being crucified he prayed "Father, forgive them. They know not what they are doing."..... A Vaisnava is unhappy to see the suffering of others. Therefore, Lord Jesus Christ agreed to be crucified - to free others from their suffering... Jesus Christ was such a great personality -the son of God, the representative of God. He had no fault. Still, he was crucified. He wanted to deliver God consciousness, but in return they crucified him - they were so thankless. They could not appreciate his preaching. But we appreciate him and give him all honor as the representative of God. Of course, the message that Christ preached was just according to his particular time, place and country, and just suited for a particular group of people. But certaintly he is the representative of God. Therefore we adore Lord Jesus Christ and offer our obeisances to him. Once, in Melbourne, a group of Christian ministers came to visit me. They asked,"What is your idea of Jesus Christ?". I told them, "He is our guru, he is preaching God consciousness, so he is our spiritual master." The ministers very much appreciated that. Actually, anyone who is preaching God's glories must be accepted as a guru. Jesus Christ in one such great personality. We should not think of him as an ordinary human being. The scriptures say that anyone who considers the spiritual master to be an ordinary man has a hellish mentality. If Jesus Christ were an ordinary man, then he could not have delivered God consciousness.'

Got this on e-mail. I believe: that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change. I believe: that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. I believe: that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. I believe: that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life. I believe: that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I believe: that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them. I believe: that you can keep going long after you think you can't. I believe: that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. I believe: that either you control your attitude or it controls you. I believe: that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place. I believe: that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. I believe: that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up. I believe: that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel. I believe: that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated. I believe: that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself. I believe: that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief. I believe: that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become. I believe: that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do. I believe: that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. I believe: that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you you will find the strength to help. I believe: that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. I believe: that the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

go to and in search type: rathayatra. Many links will come, click in number 12.

For some good pictures of Ratha Yatra in Puri go to and search for rathayatra, for Stephen Knapp. Very nice photos there. www.stephen-knapp.com/rathayatra-festival-at-jagannath-puri.htm

A blonde wearing headphones walks into a hair salon and asks for a hair cut. The hair dresser asks her to take off the headphones so she can cut her hair. The blonde looks at her fearfully and says:"I can't". The hair dresser says that in order for her to cut her hair she must take off the headphones but the blonde refuses again and again. They argue for a while until the hairdersser get very upset and she snatches off the headphones from the blonde. The blonde begins to suffocate and choke and then she dies. The hairdresser is completely shocked and she takes the headphones to hear what blondie was listening to. To her surprise all she hears is: BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT, BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT...............

theist, I was just online with my astrologer friend, send me your data to: gouridk02@ She is very good for remedial measures and doesn't charge a paisa.

Kali-yuga at best, when you don't want your pet anymore just eat it. I'm very very

Isn't scary if the departed souls who come to visit are your wellwishers.

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the men's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and say, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable" The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, comfortable?'" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde The word's big. She'll read it slow. ("com-for-da-bul")

I missed you too. Maybe I can take out of the arsenal more blonde jokes and you can contraattack with brunettes ones.

LOL...very funny. Welcome back RandOM.

LOVE, LUST or MARRIAGE LOVE: When you write poems about your partner. LUST: When all you write is your phone number. MARRIAGE: When all you write is checks. LOVE: When sex is called "making love". LUST: When sex is called "doing it". MARRIAGE: When you can't remember what you used to call it. LOVE: When your eyes meet across a crowded room. LUST: When your tongues meet across a crowded room. MARRIAGE: When you lose your child in a crowded room. LOVE: When your heart flutters every time you see them. LUST: When your groin twitches every time you see them. MARRIAGE: When your wallet empties every time you see them. LOVE: When you argue over how many children to have. LUST: When you argue about who gives pleasure to whom. MARRIAGE: When you argue about money. LOVE: When you have concern for your partner's feelings. LUST: When you have concern for your partner's test results. MARRIAGE: When you have concern for what's on TV. LOVE: When nobody else matters. LUST: When nobody else knows. MARRIAGE: When everybody else matters and you don't care who knows. LOVE: When you like to be seen in public with your partner. LUST: When you like to see each other naked. MARRIAGE: When you never see each other awake. LOVE: When you share everything you own. LUST: When you steal everything they own. MARRIAGE: When the bank owns everything. LOVE: When you phone each other just to say, "Hi." LUST: When you phone each other to pick a hotel room. MARRIAGE: When you phone each other to fight. LOVE: When all the songs on the radio describe exactly how you feel.LUST: When the song on the radio determines how you do it. MARRIAGE: When you listen to talk radio. LOVE: When your farewell is "I love you, darling." LUST: When your farewell is "Same time next week?" MARRIAGE: When your farewell is "Pick up some toilet paper."

About the concept of the souls going to hell for cleansing, Don't we have something similar? As far as I remember sinful souls go to hell for a while and later take birth accordingly. I remember Harikesh mentioning a number of months, unfortunately I don't remember exactly. What is the Vedic concept?

I didn't get the part of the Jewish souls. Do they think there're only 600.000 Jewish souls? To explain the 15 million of them here they accept the expansion of the soul? Soul is soul, what is this Jewish soul concept?

Did you ever read the instructions?

I didn't get in the beginning what Gauracandra meant for 'japanimation'. I thought he meant chanting japa in a mechanical way or something like that . I hate the japanese cartoons too, they all have the same faces and expressions. For me too,it seems the same lady singing in the Indian movies, I didn't like in Lagaan when the British girl sang (with the Indian voice) but in general the songs and lyrics were ok. The high pitch is a little bit too much for my ears.

-----GAMES WHEN YOU ARE OLDER 1. Sag, You're It. 2. Hide and go pee. 3. 20 Questions shouted into your good ear. 4. Kick the bucket 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over. 6. Musical recliners. 7. Simon says something incoherent. 8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy. ************************ Chapter 2: SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE 1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale. 2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused, you shoot him. 3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them. 4. You change your underwear after a sneeze. 5. You're on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip to Chippendales. ************ Chapter 3 -- SIGNS OF WEAR "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!" "OLD" IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. "OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. "OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door. "OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take fiber today. "OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. "OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee!

Lagaan was good for this lazy Sunday afternoon. The last cricket part was a little bit to long but I never was a cricket fan. What a boring game! Theist, wicket are the 3 stumps that are behind the batman. I'll recommend the movie because show you rural India and is very much the same way now. What a hard life to be a farmer in the 3rd world countries. The songs were nice and sweet and the worship of Sri Sri Radha-Krsna was good. Even for our material desires we have to depend in the Lord if we're not exalted enough to surrender completely.