sinimat 0 Report post Posted November 11, 2003 Hare Krishna Prabhus. I have only been a devotee for about 3 months, but the more Krishna Conscious I become, the more my wife becomes unhappy. I want her to come to Krishna Consciousness so badly, but I understand that it cannot be forced upon anyone. She actually came to the temple with me Sunday night and I noticed she was happy afterwords. However, I don't want to abandon her, but is this some attachement I have that is holding me back from fully developing spiritually? On the other hand, I feel very strongly that it is my mission in life to not only become Krishna Conscious, but to help my wife become Krishna Conscious as well. I only desire for her to become a devotee with me. It's just so hard right now because she is trying to resist everything. I would really appreciate your input and advice on this issue. Thank you so much Prabhus. Haribol! Matthew Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Govindaram 1 Report post Posted November 11, 2003 Haribol! Pamho While she is sleeping (sort of), in an unconsious state, chant the Maha-Mantra (do this for about well as long as it takes, hey even you'll enjoy it), then the MAHA-mantra will enter her and she will start chanting hahahahha. Sorry. Over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gHari 0 Report post Posted November 11, 2003 Matthew, Purify yourself, and that will automatically purify her. Eventually she'll be intrigued about what has made you such a classy guy. Then she will become a willing student. Don't go all weird on her; let Krsna make it happen gradually. He put you two together for a reason. Let Him work His magic. Consider how you would want your wife to treat you if it had been her who took an interest in religion first. It will all be fine. Don't be lost to her as though you're in a strange cult or strung out on drugs. This is God, and He is kind. gHari Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinimat 0 Report post Posted November 11, 2003 Govindaram, That advice is great. I know that she felt happiness after hearing the chanting at the temple. This way, she will hear it daily and it will enter into her heart. I've thought about this before and I should give it a try! Thanks Prabhu! gHari, Thank you for your advice and encouragement. I know that Krishna brought us two together for a reason too, which I think I know what it is. The problem is that I have become weird on her, and as she says completely different. I am trying to revive some of that old part of me that she can relate to, but it's hard when I'm trying to develop my Krishna Consciousness. Thanks again Prabhu! Haribol Prabhus! Your servant, Matthew Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kulapavana 0 Report post Posted November 11, 2003 just be patient and tolerant, good luck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Govindaram 1 Report post Posted November 11, 2003 Also..it's up to Krishna within the heart, to change her mind so there is only so much you can do..all this changing ppls mind to Krishna is so complicated, so just read 'that' verse in Gita where it say 4 types of ppls approach Krsna. Pamho! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stonehearted 0 Report post Posted November 11, 2003 This is all good advice, Matt. I think gHari's is especially helpful. Don't get weird, and don't act like a cult member. There's a radio program on NPR called "This American Life." One episode they had about 2 1/2 years ago was about those moments that make us cringe. One of the stories was about a woman whose boyfriend became a Hare Krishna. It's a scream. You can listen to it on the Web. Go to http://www.thislife.org/ and on the left, click on the year 01. Then scroll down to Episode 182, from 4/13/01, called "Cringe." You'll have to listen to some other stuff beforehand, but it will be worth it. This story starts about 9 minutes into the show, under "What we cringe about when we cringe about love." Whenever I listen to this story, I can't stop laughing. Have fun, and report back to us. Babhru Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sunanda 0 Report post Posted November 11, 2003 ... i'm a devotee, chanting 16 rounds and stuff... and i just got married to a very sweet woman who is not into KC. So what ? of course she eats prasad and her the holy names. of course it will make some effect, in 1, 5 , 10 , 30, 60 years, in the next life... please don't be a fanatical with her, don't force her to do anything. you should talk about this with her first instead of us. it's not to talk ., but a lot of devotees have no idea of the moern women psychology.breaking a marriage is more sinful than acting like a real neophyte trying to preach and force his wife in KC.KC must be fun and gradual, you just CAN'T force people into it and i'm very against it. you have to wonder if you truly want to look like these parents forcing their kids into religion, for exemple fanatical christians. it sucks and it's not real religion in my book. what can happen ? your wife leaving and think you're a blind follower. why is so many Iskcon couples break ? you have the answer. the other problem is sex. often if one in the couple thinks he or her is ready to give it up, not considering the opinion of the other. Marriage is regulation, and it's already a good standard. he desires will gradually go if you try not to be obsessive. at like 60 you'l be free with no frustration i think. i say it again, i'm very against forcing. you ca write me at any moment at silvertouch108@.fr peace. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SDL 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2003 Here's the link to the radio program Stonehearted mentioned. I finished listening to it and it's pretty funny. http://www.thislife.org/ra/182.ram Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stonehearted 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2003 What makes it so funny is how clearly honest her story is. She's wrong about one thing--20 beads on the mala--but the rest is so right that you know she actually ironed this character's dhoti before class one day so he wouldn't be "the "bad bhakta." I recommend this story to anyone who needs a chuckle. Hear that, Haridhama? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 12, 2003 GHari, well done. I'll just "in other words" about the patience: She is your wife = commitment. Uh, just a side comment: Wait and see how well you do before you give up on your wife. But I thought I might add that you should be patient and wait till that answer manifest from within… when you know without a doubt what you should do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haridham 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2003 What makes it so funny is how clearly honest her story is. She's wrong about one thing--20 beads on the mala--but the rest is so right that you know she actually ironed this character's dhoti before class one day so he wouldn't be "the "bad bhakta." I recommend this story to anyone who needs a chuckle. Hear that, Haridhama? hey, leave me out of this....i think....are you saying I need a chuckle or something else are you implying that is wrong with me? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haridham 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2003 marriage is about accepting and not about expecting. Just keep doing your vaisnava duty, be a good husband, dont be a preacher and show by example how this has made you happy etc. She needs a companion, she doesnt need someone to badger her all the time, if she wanted that then she would go back to her father. Be her husband and love and respect her. Remember, marriage is about accepting and not expecting. Leave the results to krsna. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Myra 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2003 It's too early to judge her that she is resisting to Krishna. I would rather advice that you must introduce her to Krishna more in your action than words, but very carefully and gradually. If all of her life she is not aware of Krishna, you can't just turn around her consciousness in just a minute. I understand her postition right now. Take note that since you are her husband, you are playing a major role in her consciousness. You must let her feel that you are not introducing a new religion (HK is non-sectarian right?), but rather a complimentary to her belief but more indepth. Once she feels that it's a new religion she will tend to back off and defensive. She will then tend to justify her belief in you and herself. So, you must be very careful for you might be arising a religious/spiritual competition rather than tolerance. Besides, marriage is not just a matter of love and sacrifices but respect and appreciation to one another. Hare Krsna! Jaya Yahshua! Myra. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 12, 2003 Govindaram, I chanted for about a half an hour last night to my wife while she was sleeping- it was nice! Do you have any experience doing this? Thanks again for the suggestion- I'm going to do this as long as it takes! Your servant, Matthew Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinimat 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2003 That post above was by me- I wasn't signed in. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 12, 2003 My dear friend, krishna himself answers this question, "Perform your prescribed duty, for doing so is better than not working. One cannot even maintain one's physical body without work." BG third chapter 3.8 "Work done as a sacrifice for Viṣṇu has to be performed, otherwise work causes bondage in this material world. Therefore, O son of Kuntī, perform your prescribed duties for His satisfaction, and in that way you will always remain free from bondage." Bg third chapter 3.9 Just be a good husband and give her all the love she needs and deserves, thats all any one can do and leave everything to krishna. He will make her come to Him himself, you do not have to do anything except what is required of you. -TU Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 12, 2003 Govindaram, I chanted for about a half an hour last night to my wife while she was sleeping- it was nice! Do you have any experience doing this? Thanks again for the suggestion- I'm going to do this as long as it takes! Your servant, Matthew And what if she wakes up seeing you chanting some strange sounds in her ear? She will think you are a strange freak trying to brainwash her. Better to do things that won't be seen as bizare. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinimat 0 Report post Posted November 12, 2003 Strange sounds? I don't think the maha-mantra is strange. Plus, she's heard it before. I'm not sitting up chanting directly in her ear. Plus, I don't think she'll wake up. She is very receptive to sound while sleeping. She used to listen to music CDs while sleeping and would somehow remember all of the lyrics the next day! I think this is a beautiful way to introduce her to Krishna Consciouness. Haribol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tarun 6 Report post Posted November 13, 2003 ViSNu maintains. Maintain that which is worthy of maintaining, id est, offerable to ViSNu. All the rest respect > > > from a distance. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
