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Haridham

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Hare krsna everyone.

 

I am new to this site, I have been iskcon for a while. I love Srila Prabhupads movement as i feel its the best thing in the world.

 

But there is so much i need to learn. I dont feel devotion. Yes I chant, I read, I am initiated and such but somethings i have read here show me people are seeing and experiancing things that i havent come across.

 

I have come across them in a different manner like through book distribution and preaching and making a few devotees but i dont feel i have devotion.

 

What do i do

 

and my other question is that have I caused some people to feel offended. I feel that i have and i am sorry.

 

If people prefer I leave and never show up let me know.

 

I think I am overthinking or thinking to much as my friends would say.

 

I am just at an overwhelming state in my life and all these emotions are flowing.

 

Sometimes i feel like leaving everything but something keeps me chanting and staying in prabhupads movement.

 

Hope to hear from you all.

 

Hare krsna

Haridham

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Hare Krsna Prabhu,

 

Yes sometimes we do put our feet in our mouths(yuk) /images/graemlins/frown.gif,i was looking at a post i made recently and wow,i sure do it.I am not saying you did, i like having you here. This is raw istagosti, talk amongst devotees.

 

Since many of us are not on the liberated platform and not full of knowledge, we are full of mistakes. But we are on the correct path. And once you have a little attachement to Krsna and HIs Pure devotee,then you can know someday, some lifetime (in my case) we will be at the stage of Bhakti.

 

Certainly dont give up, you will just have to start up again. Keep chanting and try to chant with out offence, even if offencive pick yourself up and try again. The chanting is the means and the end.

 

Yes sometimes we are impatient we have try to be steady,equiposed in happiness and distress.

 

We have Srila Prabhupada and His books(books,letters,lectures,songs,videos etc.etc.) associate with him the Perfect master who is infallible. And ceto darpanam arjanam (spelling?) =by hearing over and over we cleanse the mirror of the mind of dirty things.

 

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I could see you kind of freaking after the SwamiNarayana thing. That fellow was upset that you had criticized. If you read that other thread you would have seen that they are quite nice folks and that their guru preaches much like Gaudiyas. I guess the secret is that they must perceive that God is in your behaviour, that they are being preached to by Supersoul. He's the only one that affects me. I got used to it with Prabhupada. We know how kind God is. Somehow we have to let that come out of us, so they will feel Lord Caitanya's kindness melt their hearts.

 

I sometimes feel down too after I encounter some groups here. Certainly better to read Prabhupada. But this is where we make our mistakes, so when we are in live situations we won't fail. I've had my share of bad moments and apologies on the net over the last dozen years. Maybe now they're less only because I'm too stubborn to apologize.

 

Rule number one on the net: if they aren't humble and kind and positive, then they ain't from Supersoul. Run like hell. What is it they say about swans - they separate the milk from the dirty water? Well on the wacky world web this is very important.

 

As far as experiences, you have lots of time for experiences. You have started this trip nice and young without too many wrong habits to retrain. Some of these old goats are like ancient, like in their fifties even. And that includes me, young Siddhartha. Hey, did you read that book? It is good to take my advice. Honest. Just think how much happier you would have been last night late night. I'm spending hours and you can't give me minutes; somehow we have to get some perspective here - she's your princess not mine. Either you allot more time or I less. Otherwise she'll become my princess, and that won't make any of us happy (well maybe just me just a bit for a few seconds - I said I was old, not dead). If it is easier in private then CaitanyaMahaprabhu at will try to help with practical worldly knowledge and the rude awakening, but it will be tough, for as you have seen, maturing fast can involve a few big bumps along the way.

 

Here's a little "krsna will take care of me" humour: So a flood hit the town and John was trapped on the roof of his house. A boat came by, but John said "It's okay, God will save me". Another boat came by a little later. Again "I'll be okay. God will save me". Now a bull-dozer shows up but John declines a ride affirming his unshakeable faith that Almighty God will definitely save him. Shortly thereafter, the dam gave way and the town and John were swept away in a mile high crushing wave of water. The next thing John hears are harps of angels in heaven, and he asks "Why didn't God save me"? God turns to him and says "Hey, I sent two boats and dozer for you. What could I do"?

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Ghari Prabhu. Thank you very much.

 

As this is my 93rd post i wish to say that i dont remember putting up 93posts, i thought i just put up ten or so.

 

ANyway, that story about God sending help i Have heard before. I am just not sitting idoly and doing nothing. Right now I am at school and my class is starting. I know if I finish my grade 12 then there will be more oportunities.

 

Also I went to two places today to apply for a job. I went to a warehouse and the second place was weird.

 

I am sure you have heard of the Church Of Scientology right?

 

I went there and they had the most unsual questions.

 

Anyways, I will be alright, krsna will provide me with something.

 

I think i will also check out some telemarketing and such too.

 

Please keep in touch.

 

Hare krsna.

haridham

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