Hindu wives

[Guest guest]

I have a friend whose mother doesn't say her husband's name(at all). I asked my friend about this and she said it was down to tradition. Does any one the reason(s) for this (strange) tradition? Are there any other reasons than tradition?

 

Please excuse my ignorance, i am from Africa and would like to know more.

 

Thanks.

[Guest guest]

They say by not saying one husband/wife's name increase their partners lifespan.

 

I heard once from Ramesh Oza that the reason for this is that the Gopi's at the time of the rasa dance when Krishna disappeared spoke the the Gopi Gita. Throughout the verses which can be found in the Bhagwatam, the Gopi's call Krishna not by His name but with affectionate words ed, priyah, my love, sweetheart etc...

 

so i guess indian women adopt the same priniciples which i think is sweet.

 

Radhe-Radhe

 

hope that helps

[Jahnava Nitai Das]

It is done out of respect. Calling someone by their first name is not considered respectful, and is done only by elders.

[maadhav]

after a vedic marrriage, husband and wife become one.

so you do not call your self by name.

 

also, the whole world calls your wife or husband by name,

and your are special for your spouse.

so, sometimes you use a special unique name that no one uses.

 

[Guest guest]

I'm an Indian wife and I call my husband by his name. There is no such requirement of a Hindu wife to not do so. There is a superstition that developed over time though that if a wife called her husband by name it would somehow shorten his life. There is no spiritual or scientific basis for such a superstition.

[Guest guest]

I see it as more of a respect issue. Hindus frequently don't call anyone elder to them by their first names - not just spouses. I have never called my older brother by his first name. It is a tradition rooted in respect and humility in the face of others.

[Guest guest]

That does not take into account that many wives are older than their husbands, including in India.

 

Also, even in the cases where the wife is younger (majority cases), would a hindu husband show his wife respect in the same manner as not calling her by her name? Or is it only the wife who is expected to show respect to the husband in such a manner?

 

This brings up the subject of a similar superstitious ritual such as Karva Chauth (common in some regions of North India), where wives fast for a whole day for the benefit of their husbands but there is no corresponding ritual for the husband to perform in regards the wife.

[Guest guest]

I think this is superstition and tradition intertwined and not really 'Religion' as such.

[Guest guest]

This is a bit out-dated thread, but I thought the responses seemed incomplete. I give some comments below on orthodox Hindu marriage and the wife's ideals. My primary source is from discourses of the late Shankaracharya of the Kamakoti matam in Kanchipuram. I have given the link, etc. for those wanting further details: (please add a "w" in front since the system is not allowing me to put the link; not meant to cheat here)

ww.kamakoti.org/newlayout/template/hindudharma.html

See Part 18 and 19. There are other topics such as religion, vedas, duties of the Smarta Brahmana, varna dharma, etc. that give insight into the orthodox viewpoints as held by the Smarta community of the 1950's.

 

In the traditional ideal of Hindu marriage, a woman entering the married life completely dedicates her life to the husband, whom she regards as Lord/God. He becomes her protector and Guru, and her spiritual path is one: of service to the husband and two: of being the queen/foundation of the developing household. This revering attitude of a traditional Hindu woman to her husband has a similar context to that of a disciple to the Guru: The sishya (disciple) regards the Guru as "God" (for life) and dedicates his life to his service.

 

In several typical marriages of old, the marriage takes place before the girl reaches puberty, and the boy is some 8-10 years older and is in the period of transition of taking up adult responsibilities. The girl goes to the husband's family only after attaining proper age. The age difference, as typical in several Hindu contexts, is a key factor to giving respect such as not using name (younger with regard to elder), etc.

 

Needless to say, these traditional setups are winding their way to a natural death as society becomes "modern". Child marriages are practically absent in urban settings, and many of these "ideals" of old appear discriminatory and shameful to modern Hindus. However, there is a fighting retention of some old cultural trends, and the age-difference and "no name-calling" are such surviviors in arranged marriages.

[krishnadasa]

thats not superstition (i mean which makes ur husband's lifespan more). Indeed what u re doing (calling ur husbnad by hs name) isnt Vedic. And then it really doesnt matter if ur husband likes it that way!

 

But dont say something superstition withiout knowing anything about the scriptures

 

And then get one nice username before writing anyithing here

 

Hari Hari bol