vanamali

Radhakunda dasji, can you please give a different email address, because the one you gave does not work...

I can never be a great devotee like all those who actually achieved Krishna, like Tulsidevi doing austerities for thousands of years. I don't have that kind of prema for Him. I don't have one drop of actual love in my body for Him. Whatever feeling I have for Him is merely sentimental residue. Insignificant as dust... When you lay on your back and look into the sky, and see the vastness of the universe, that longing- that deep unfathomable longing is revealed, and only Krishna can fill that void. But surely He will not come. The hole will never be filled... But somehow there is still a hope, because He is merciful...

Radha Kunda Dasji, I will email you soon... /images/graemlins/smile.gif

My whole point was only to glorify the Lord Sri Krishna. If you like it, fine, if not, that's okay. Please do not be offended. If you walk all over me, I am only too happy to have gotten the dust of your lotus feet on my head!!! Jai Sri Krishna!!

Okay, There are some traditional explanations, you can take them or leave them. In Krishna's time, the peacock was considered inauspicious, so wearing a peacock feather was also inauspicious. But Krishna thought it was pretty, and put it in His crown, and since that time the peacock feather has been very special... The flute plays the sound of "OM," and is the sound that calls your soul to return to Him... moreover, it is a folk instrument, and not used in classical music until very recently (once again, only because it is associated with Krishna) Are these the only attributes you are interested in, or would you like to hear more?

Pankaja, yes, this is the sahajiya thread, and I only hope you do not curse me...

Okay, *once again* my point was only... Krishna is so good to an idiot imbecile like me, that He loves everybody, even disgusting creatures like me. Not that I am trying to take Him away from Radharani. I love Radharani. Why do you think I am offending Her???? I'm just concerned that some people don't believe that you can really approach Him in *any* sentiment and He will fix you up the way He wants it. Just trust Him! Even if a demon who wants to kill Him comes, doesn't the demon at least get salvation (Ravana) or beatification (Putana)?? Just think of me as another kind of demon. Why do you think I am trying to say that I am good or something like this?? I don't understand! If this doesn't help you, forget all of this. How many times must I repeat it??? Please, don't read it if you don't like it! I'm SO SORRY for offending you all...

shrii sheshhashaila suniketana divyamuurte naaraayaNaachyuta hare nalinaayataaksha . liilaakaTaaksha parirakshita sarvaloka shrii ve~NkaTesha mama dehi karaavalambam.h .. 1.. brahmaadivanditapadaambuja sha~NkhapaaNe shriimatsudarshana sushobhita divyahasta . kaaruNyasaagara sharaNya supuNyamuurte shrii ve~NkaTesha mama dehi karaavalambam.h .. 2.. vedaanta\-vedya bhavasaagara\-karNadhaara shriipadmanaabha kamalaarchitapaadapadma . lokaika\-paavana paraatpara paapahaarin.h shrii ve~NkaTesha mama dehi karaavalambam.h .. 3.. lakshmiipate nigamalakshya nijasvaruupa kaamaadidoshha parihaaraka bodhadaayin.h . daityaadimardana janaardana vaasudeva shrii ve~NkaTesha mama dehi karaavalambam.h .. 4.. taapatraya.n hara vibho rabhasaa muraare sa.nraksha maa.n karuNayaa sarasiiruhaaksha . machchhishhyamityanudinaM pariraksha vishhNo shrii ve~NkaTesha mama dehi karaavalambam.h .. 5.. shrii jaataruupanavaratna lasatkiriiTa\- kastuurikaatilakashobhilalaaTadesha . raakendubimba vadanaambuja vaarijaaksha shrii ve~NkaTesha mama dehi karaavalambam.h .. 6.. vandaaruloka\-varadaana\-vachovilaasa ratnaaDhyahaara parishobhita kambukaNTha . keyuuraratna suvibhaasi\-digantaraala shrii ve~NkaTesha mama dehi karaavalambam.h .. 7.. divyaa~Ngadaa~Nkita bhujadvaya ma~Ngalaatman.h keyuurabhuushhaNa sushobhita diirghabaaho . naagendra\-ka~NkaNa karadvaya kaamadaayin.h shrii ve~NkaTesha mama dehi karaavalambam.h .. 8.. svaamin jagaddharaNavaaridhimadhyamagna maamuddhaaraya kR^ipayaa karuNaapayodhe . lakshmii.nshcha dehi mama dharma samR^iddhihetuM shrii ve~NkaTesha mama dehi karaavalambam.h .. 9.. divyaa~Ngaraagaparicharchita komalaa~Nga piitaambaraavR^itatano taruNaarka bhaasa satyaa.ncha naabha paridhaana supattu bandha shrii ve~NkaTesha mama dehi karaavalambam.h .. 10.. ratnaaDhyadaama sunibaddha\-kaTi\-pradesha maaNikyadarpaNa susannibha jaanudesha . ja~Nghaadvayena parimohita sarvaloka shrii ve~NkaTesha mama dehi karaavalambam.h .. 11.. lokaikapaavana\-saritparishobhitaa~Nghre tvatpaadadarshana dine cha mamaaghamiisha . haarda.n tamashcha sakala.n layamaapa bhuuman.h shrii ve~NkaTesha mama dehi karaavalambam.h .. 12.. kaamaadi\-vairi\-nivahochyuta me prayaataH daaridryamapyapagata.n sakala.n dayaalo . diina.n cha maa.n samavalokya dayaardra dR^ishhTyaa shrii ve~NkaTesha mama dehi karaavalambam.h .. 13.. shrii ve~NkaTesha padapa~Nkaja shhaTpadena shriimannR^isi.nhayatinaa rachita.n jagatyaam.h . ye tatpaThanti manujaaH purushhottamasya te praapnuvanti paramaaM padaviiM muraareH .. 14.. .. iti shrii shR^i~Ngeri jagadguruNaa shrii narasimha bhaarati svaaminaa rachita.n shrii veNkaTesha karaavalamba stotram saMpuurNamh ..

SATYAM EVA JAYATE

>>> I luv Krishna, Know the difference between Bhakthi and Lust and imagination. When you know the difference then start doing things with devotion... read gita first. ---- You can direct *any* emotion, any feeling, hate, love, lust, anger, greed, anything towards the LORD SRI KRISHNA, and you will be purified because HE is GREAT and HE is the PERFECT ALL-ATTRACTIVE ALL-POWERFUL ALL-LOVING LORD. ANY sentiment. Who says we are practicing bhakti? I never said that. I just want to stick to Krishna like gum on the bottom of His shoe, and even then I will be purified... By the way, I know you were addressing I_luv_krishna and not me, but unfortunately I can't differentiate between her and myself... >> The point here is that bhakti is different than imagination. First know what bhakti is in real life. --- Yes of course there is a difference. I don't have the real Krishna with me, so all I have is the imaginary Krishna. When you go to the deity, it takes a little *imagination* to realize that when you offer the food, Krishna is actually eating it. He eats the subtle part of it, but didn't you ever imagine Krishna taking the food and putting it in His mouth and enjoying it? If you haven't seen your mom in a long time, you can *imagine* your mummy is holding you in her arms. Does that mean her love for you, or your love for her is not real?? I am a *sentimental* fool. I am a pretender, a fake, a sentimentalist... but remember Putana going to Krishna *pretending* to be His mother- He killed her, and then she gained a loving motherly relation to Him in the world beyond. Don't forget Bhagavatam, don't forget the stories of Krishna's life. Everything He touches turns to gold. You have to trust Him.

I don't know, guestji? Is there more than one guest posting here? I don't see much congruence between the posts.

Yeah I know, that's kind of weird right? Oh well... /images/graemlins/smile.gif See Venkatesha with Bhudevi and Sridevi... there's divinity for ya! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Dear Editor, I'm sorry for my conduct. I promise I won't make any more trouble. Please forgive me... ~Vanamali

I'm sorry sorry sorry. Never mind.

Rukmini and Satyabhama are also there... Incarnations of Sridevi and Bhudevi (here with Venkatesha Govinda)

I am finished with all this. Me and my big mouth. Don't worry, I won't disrupt you again. Yes, I have hurt Him. I will keep my mouth shut from now on... Yes, you devotees are worshipful. Please forget this speck of dust....

Yes, don't worry I won't cause any more trouble!!! I won't mention all this again, do not worry. Just a one-time madness not to be repeated. Let us end it at that!!! I now realize I have hurt your feelings. I will pay dearly for that.

Please forgive me for dropping bombs, my dear...

Guestji, I will post Venkatesha Karaavalamba Stotram in english transaliteration sometime soon... ~Vanamali

Yes, I agree I should not do this... I felt SO SO SO compelled, I don't know why. But better not to be bothersome. I don't want to change anyone, but I just felt like screaming it. Anyway, I won't continue it. ~Your wandering fragment of dust... Vanamali

Really, I wouldn't want Sri Krishna and Srimati Radharani separated ever EVER EVER EVER, but... Just allow me this feeling. Sometimes I want to tear my hair out, sometimes I am floating in bliss.... I could survive forever like this, because *still* I am remembering Krishna, so even at the end of my life, if I continue like this, I would think of Him... I have tried to change, but it doesn't work. I feel all my feelings shutting down, and then I'm just a dead lump. Then it's just me and the samsaara and no Bhagavan... nooooo, I can't do it. I'm so sorry if I've hurt you sweet devotees by saying all these things... anyway it's between Him and myself...

Do I think this is private??? Yes, it is quite private!! I am doing this for a reason, though!!!!! I NEVER thought I would mention these to anyone. However, I strongly believe that there are souls out there who are looking for others who understand their feelings, and since it took me a LONG time to find anybody that I trusted enought to tell... well, I thought I would just say all these *private* things in the open, only for their sakes. Yes, all these are very private. You should never expose your devotion openly like this. Others will not understand, and will not hesitate to try to uproot your bhakti-lata, thinking it to be a weed. Never do this, my darling devotee of the lord. I am opening my heart and pouring out the whole contents in front of everybody. I am completely emotionally naked before you, and inviting you to make comments. Never do this, please. Once again, the only reason I am doing this is A. Because I have recently got the courage to do so because of a specific help from Bhagavan, and B. Because I am concerned that some sister souls out there are feeling very very VERY alone, as I used to feel... I wouldn't wish that on anybody. Please, if what I have to say does not help you in any way, then don't bother reading my nonsense. Please don't be worried, sweet Devotee of my Lord... Oh, the problems earlier!! Yes, this is directly related to that!! Yes, I have learned to talk very nicely to devotees like you, because HE is very fond of you, and does not take it lightly when one devotee hurts another. Yes, at that time I was trying to force myself into a mood that is not natural to me, and it was creating severe mental turmoil. Krishna has since sent the assurance that I prayed for... And yes my Guruji (as such) has this wifely bhava towards Bhagavan. She does not see any problem. Unfortunately I cannot contact her often, as she does not live in the USA, where I am living. If you are worried about me, please do say some prayers for Bhagavan to remove all my sin and ignorance. Asato maa sadgamaya- tamaso maa jyotir gamaya- mrutyor maa amrutam gamaya Om shantih shantih shantih Harih om....

Edukondalavada! Venkataramana! Govindaaaa! Gooovinda!!

Indeed, everything about Him is totally sweet... have you been to Tirupati? Yeah, you can really feel the power of that Govinda... just waves of love floating off of Him. He is there in the Venkata hills, black in color, two arms with shankha and chakra on His shoulders, with Padmavati and Lakshmi on His chest, garland of Tulsi, diamond crown, sword (of which Annamacharya is an incarnation), and His BEAUTIFUL feet!! And you are pushing just to get a few second's glance of this God who is really God... not just a murthy, not just a stone form, but the *real* Govinda who has come to Venkata to stay with us... Sri Venkatesha mama dehi karaavalambam!!!

/images/graemlins/smile.gif Sri Satyabhaamaadhava namah!