problem

[Sunandaji]

Haribol !

these weeks i'm increasing my chanting a lot, like 25 to 32 when i used to chant 16 for a year, my initiation day.

 

I'm having some problems now while i'm chanting; like i'm thinking bad words about Sri Radhika, the Gopis..., insulting Them in my mind. i mean, i have no problem loving Them all, i love Them, but my mental is saying stupidities, like a stupid child having fun saying gross stuff.

 

I'm feeling bad, but at the same time i feel like it's just part of the purification process. like some spots appearing on your face when you fast for some time.

 

please tell me about your similar experiences. i hope it will pass soon, it's just i don't feel good about it.

[theist]

to remember that you are not the conditioned mind. Radha/Krishna know that. Of course you want to control it. Ask the Lord in heart to kindly intervene and fill your mind with sweet thoughts of the Divine Couple.

 

[Guest guest]

 

I'm feeling bad, but at the same time i feel like it's just part of the purification process. like some spots appearing on your face when you fast for some time.

Yes, it's deep purification. Coming into the light exposes the darkness in us and it feels embarassing. Our new self regrets the old. Be grateful for the mercy providing these humbling experiences. Sometimes we forget where we're coming from and to a large extent still remain. When this is actually happening, keep chanting no matter what. Don't be afraid.

 

Pray honestly to Lord Nityanada and especially to Srimati Radharani, admitting your worthlessness and complete disqualification as a devotee. Don't be satisfied until you feel Them forgive and accept you personally. Your faith will be strengthened permanently on a whole new level. Consider yourself very fortunate.

[gHari]

Don't do it anymore.

 

Work on humility: gaze at the stars.

 

[sudhaya]

 

Pray to Lord Nityananda to serve Sri Radha-Krsna better.

[Guest guest]

"it should actually be..."

 

Whatever works for you...I speak from personal experience. Either way, appreciation and absolute reliance on His Divine Grace is a necessity.

[livingentity]

when this happens. It is Maya devi pulling out all the stops on you.

 

Mahanidhi Swami talks about this problem in his book, "Art of Chanting Hare Krsna."

 

I will try to locate his reference to it tomorrow for you but I do remember him saying that when this happens "Chant loudly!!"

[Sunandaji]

Thanx to you all, and much love!!

 

i see it's probably part of the process, and that's what i was thinking. i'm gonna start to worship Sri Nrsimha more, then i can get rid of this . soon !!

 

i won't give up, i already had tests that almost put me down, but i remember, don't be weak !!

[Dervish]

I think a lot of people have experienced this or many variations, but they are very embarassed to tell people. I am glad you had the courage to say. Stupid mind! Down! Shoo!