this book has saved me, is still saving me and will continue to save me day after day

[Guest guest]

The Gita helped me think more deeply

 

 

by Subhadra-mayi dasi

 

 

The Bhagavad-gita only came very recently into my life, even though I had lived in temples for almost ten years. Being outside the institution the last three years has led me finally to the Gita. It's the Gita's teachings that has made me move out of the institution in the first place.

 

Sounds strange? Not to me. Bhagavad-gita was always with me and my time in ISKCON has been a big fight against the currents of how the institution interprets the teachings and how I read the book.

 

My reading taught me the importance of contemplation, of being thoughtful, although being independently thoughtful may be a more correct term.

 

It took me all those years to realise that, in order to do so, my only choice was to move out. Not bitter nor with any resentment at all, because everything happening around me gave me the maturity and the crystal-clear understanding of what my choices were.

 

Bhagavad-gita has also been my best friend, in showing me that being 'disobedient' to the institution doesn't mean being disobedient to Krishna. It has nothing to do with it; the front cover of the book itself showed me that. After all, Arjuna was standing there pretty much on his own, a huge army of his former friends and relatives on one side, ready to send him to the eternal hunting fields. Krishna was there too with His teachings right next to him. If one stops looking at the enemies he faced, on the other side there are a whole lot of people there to his aid.

 

That picture alone is very much like my life. At one point I thought ISKCON was my only family, until I found what Krishna wants from me and my former family members stood together in an army against me. Suddenly I was all wrong because I didn't follow the herd. But still, like Arjuna, I had Krishna's teachings right with me and, looking around me further, I saw another army, standing at my assistance to help me fulfil Krishna's instructions. Just this alone I learned from the front cover.

 

How much more I learned when I opened the book with that new perspective! So yes, Bhagavad-gita has saved me too. It saved me from thinking that just sticking around, putting in a few hours work, wearing sari, tilak and neckbeads will result in my becoming a devotee. Instead the Gita has pushed me to live a life of contemplation, while facing a war and battlefield, i.e., my life. Indeed, this book has saved me, is still saving me and will continue to save me day after day, as long as I allow it.

 

[gHari 0]

I'm not sure, but to suggest that ISKCON is now the enemy army on the field of Kuruksetra could be considered somewhat offensive. Such a delusion may have helped psychologically to get by some emotional difficulties caused by some big silly egos dressed in vaishnava costume, but it was nonetheless delusional and should be abandoned once the hurt is healed.

 

We should not seek to be independently thoughtful but rather dependently thoughtful, dependent on Krsna who now holds the reins of the chariot. We should thereby become thoughtful of the thoughts, the mercy that come from Sri Krsna in the form of buddhi-yogam. This is Bhagavad-gita, as it is.

[Radhakunda_das 0]

Great realisation. For me the experience is the other way round. My big ego and stubborness could not permit me to join any movement without causing trouble. So I have been studying BG,SB and other books coming to me by the mercy of those who are there in ISKCON and I am grateful to them for giving me this opportunity. When I become more mature ,more equipoised I will join the temple and hopely try to pay a bit of the infinite debt I owe those "crazy devotees".

 

Vrindavan dharm ki jaya!!!!

[Guest guest]

i stumbled on this site on accident. i was searching for spiritual advice, so mabey you can help. i have always been searching for "God".i have meditated with Budhhists, chanted at I.S.K.O.N.,and prayed at church and sought darshan at Hindu temples. i started going to I.S.K.O.N. for a school project. but i found that my life has been changed. i chant the Mahamantra and read the Bhagavad-Gita. i did this before I.S.K.O.N.bueven more now. it is like i feel addicted. like i am thirtsy"God" yet there is no end to the thirst. i think that surrounding myself with more chanting and reading will help, but, it makes the longing to be with Him even stronger. i can not go back to my old life anymore because i feel that it has nothing to offer. once i expirienced the bliss of devotion and Krishna, nothing that i used to care about seems as real as it used to. how do i get closeer to Krishna? all i want to do is talk about and hear about and be around God.He is all i want. if you think about it, that's all there is anyway. am i going crazy or is this what life is about? is my reaction normal?

[bhaktachris 0]

Hare Krishna,

 

Very nice hearing of your krishna consciousness, the sound of your post is like reading a Maha bhagavat devotee or great devotee. Keep up the good work! Pray for fallen souls like me so that i can taste just a little of the necter that you have got.

[Guest guest]

Krsna consionsness is most satisfying, both mentaly and physically. There's no doubt about it. Experiencing Krsna-katha is so nice that one can give up other things. If one can keep his refuge and interests directed as you described, then he will certainly progress.

 

That is hard to do in our culture and world views.

 

You know the secret. Now teach that to others and make your life perfect.

[Guest guest]

Another perspective concerning your desire:

 

You sound as if you could rephrase your question and ask if you can become obsessed or fanatical or something.

 

Well, that despends on sincerity… and patience!!!

 

This conversation excerpt may help:

 

ATL 78-5

God Is Not Hiding, You Don't Want Him

 

23 April, 1978 Atlanta, Georgia: Conversation with Atheist

 

Everyone is acting according to his desire. He's feeling some impulse. He wants to do this and go there. And actually we're being brainwashed. They accuse us of brainwashing, but we're not brainwashing. These cigarette, liquor, and pornography companies, television, radio, selling this and that, they're brainwashing. Buy this, you need that. You must eat meat, So kill the cow and eat her. Otherwise you won't have strong blood. Every red-blooded American must kill and eat his mother. This is the propaganda. Well what kind of culture is this? What kind of civilization? Not only America, all around the world. Everyone is so proud that we have this technology now. “We can defy God. If God dares to come here we'll simply demonstrate our technology first hand. We can do whatever we like.” Psychologically, people must be thinking this way. I was told there was a television program on abortion and when some people said you cannot kill the baby in the womb, these so-called educated people retorted saying, “Oh, you can't impose this. This may be your religion. But you cannot impose this. No, God cannot impose. God may have His opinion, but this is a democracy.”

Guest: If there is God, why doesn't He hide himself from us?

Hridy: He's not hiding, but you don't want Him. Do you think that you're on an equal level with God? That you say to God meet me on the corner of this street at 4 o'clock tomorrow afternoon and we'll talk about it? Are you such a big man you'll deal with God on an equal level? Or if you're a little religious, then you admit that God is as good as you. That's a religious man. I admit that God is as good as me. So you want me God? Right? Halfway.–because you're as good as God. Therefore you'll make a deal with God.

Guest: I just want a sign to know he's there.

Hridy: You want a sign? God wants a sign. What sign will you give?

Guest: But first I have to know that…

Hridy: Everyone knows because God is in everyone's heart. But you're rejecting Him. But as there's some danger you say Oh God! So why do you say I don't know? Everyone says Oh God! So why do you say you don't know? Actually it is nonsense. Because you're so arrogant, God is not interested in you. You simply want to exploit God. If you're in an airplane and the airplane starts to fall, then you'll pray to God––to exploit Him. Otherwise you're not interested in God, not at the nightclub Friday night. Then God just stay away. Don't come here. I'm having a good time. Wait till next Sunday and maybe we'll talk about it. Could you just sort of keep away till Sunday? God is not so foolish. What do you think God is, a kind of butler?

Guest: It's not for me that…

Hridy: It is for you. Who are you that you don't need God?

Guest: Well I'm concerned… I, I believe.

Hridy: Oh now you believe?

Guest: Huh, but, but in the sake of others.

Hridy: Also for your sake. What is your position that you don't need God?

Guest: Well I'm concerned that others know God exists.

Hridy: But I'm also concerned. You see you also need God.

Guest: Well I'm a religious man.

Hridy: Oh yes? How are you religious?

Guest: I believe.

Hridy: What? You believe in so many things. So God is another thing. God is not another thing. He is the only thing. So do you believe God is everything or God is something? Is God one thing or is God everything? Well I don't believe we should be fanatics. I mean…

Hridy: What does it mean fanatic? If God is actually everything and you say so, is that simply realistic or is it fanaticism? If you say it’s fanatic to say God is everything, then you're saying God is not everything. Fanatic means too extreme. So if it is too much extreme to say that God is everything, then you're proposing that God is not everything. Is that your proposition?

Guest: Well, I'm saying that uh…

Hridy: Are you saying that God is not everything? Just like this table. Is this God's energy or not?

Guest: Yeah. But I wouldn't worship that table. I mean…

Hridy: Not worship it. But if it's God's energy, then whom does it belong?

Guest: Well ultimately it belongs to God.

Hridy: Why do you say ultimately? Immediately it belongs to God. Not ultimately. Why do you put the word ultimately? Ultimately means it is mine that you are thinking. If it belongs to God, then why you say it is yours?

Guest: So that means I can go in and take your property?

Hridy: No, you cannot even take your own property. What to speak of mine. You cannot take anything. You cannot touch anything without God's permission. So that permission is given in ??? Upanisad, ???. You can take only what you need to live. Don't touch anything else. This is God's injunction: take only your share. Prabhupada has given a nice example. If you take a bag of grain and throw it on the ground, each bird will come and take a little. But one man will come, immediately take the whole bag and walk away with it. Isn't it? Even if it's a 50 lb. bag of rice, he'll just call his friend over to help take it away. So this is our disease. Just like in America or anywhere in the world, one man wants so much and another man may not have. So this is illegal. Just like eating. You cannot simply eat what you like. You can eat as God permits you. Otherwise it is sinful. What do you say?

Guest: I accept that. My point is that there are other duties in life one has to you know do… take care of.

 

Hridy: That's alright. But those other duties can be adjusted so that God is pleased. Just like for example if one has the duty to take care of his wife, but you do that in such a way that God is pleased.

Guest: Well how do you know whether God is pleased?

Hridy: You require a spiritual master. In every field in life you have experts, professionals. So why not an expert in spiritual life? You think no one is expert? God is pleased when you use your family life to glorify Him. In the morning and evening, the husband and wife should chant God's holy name, they should read scriptures about God, offer their food to God, worship God in their home, teach their children to love God. Then God is pleased by your family life.

Guest: Yes, that's why I want God to make some kind of sign so that other people will do this also.

Hridy: God is making sign to everyone who wants God. There are hundreds of thousands of people in America already who are chanting Hare Krsna. God is revealing Himself to them. They already have a relationship with God. You sit there talking about signs. We've already gone way beyond that point. You're stuck back at the stage of can we believe or not. Well what is a sign? But we've gone way beyond that. We're already understanding and loving God. We're dealing with Him. You're stuck way back on the point of verification. So the Krsna consciousness movement is giving sign to everyone who wants it. If you want a sign, chant Hare Krsna. Do you think that you'll not do anything? How will you show that you want God? Why should God give a sign if you do not want God? Why should He give anything if you will not reciprocate? You give something also. Chant Hare Krsna and God will reveal Himself to you. Is that unfair? Is He asking so much that you chant His name? Is that so expensive or painful? What is so terrible about that that you cannot do it?

Guest: Well I'll do it, but I mean I still have other responsibilities that you know I can't just chant. What if everyone just sat down and chanted?

Hridy: But are we just sitting down and chanting? Do you think the government loves us so much they donate these buildings? Do you think that all these nice Americans on Ponce de Leon Street are coming to clean our temple and paint the walls and cook our food for us?

Guest: No.

Hridy: Well who do you think is doing these things? So why do you say sit down and chant? Who do you think is publishing the books? Who do you think is doing all this?

 

ancient paztriot

[Guest guest]

the replys that i have recieved are so encouaging. but i did not mean to lead to a false conclusion. yes, i do long for "GOD". but i am so confused. it does feel like an addiction because it hurts when i am not with Him. i do not know how to live in this world with perfect devotion. all i do know is that i must becuse i can not ignore the truest part of myself.i don't know what to do but my old life is something that i can not go back to. i feel as if a part of me has awakened and the last thing i want is to sleep. i don't know what to do or where to go with these new feelings and reality. i guess i need to just take refuge in Krishna, in god, in the name, and trust that if i let him work through me, i will do what it is that i am supposed to do. any advice would be a blessing.

[Guest guest]

i was thinking about the conversation that you supplied and in particular that of what Prabhupada said, that man will take the whole bag of grain. it is true. man is lost and afraid. he says this is me and this is you. we are all seperate. there is an idea that to have what they need means that another must have less. culture teaches this. people believe. i am afraid at times to not live this way. if the whole world hoards and i share, there will be nothing for me. but this is an illusion. and what i want is that which can never run out or become sparse.

another thing that struck me from this conversation is that there is a difference between renouncing the world and that of devoting your life to Krishna. it is a renouncing of the false world. act, but on behalf and for God. it's about intension not inertia.