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Quick Men And Women Jokes

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Quick Men And Women Jokes

 

Q: Why are men like commercials?

A: You can't believe a word they say.

 

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.

 

Q: How does a man keep his youth?

A: By giving her money, furs, and diamonds.

 

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?

A: "What Men Know About Women."

 

Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?

A: So they can get closer to the sink.

 

Q: What does a man consider a seven course meal?

A: A hot dog and a six pack.

 

Q: Why don't men often show their true feelings?

A: Because they don't have any.

 

Q: Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?

A: It doesn't need cleaning yet.

 

Q: Why is it good that there are women astronauts?

A: So that when the crew gets lost in space, at least the women will ask for directions.

 

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?

A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

 

Q: Why Did God create Adam first?

A: So he'd have a chance to talk before Eve came along.

 

Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?

A: A battery has a positive side.

 

Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?

A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody.

 

Q: Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?

A: When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

 

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?

A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

 

Q: Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

A: For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

 

Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter?

A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.

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I got these two from the net.

_________

Q: What do men and women have in common?

A: They both distrust men. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

Q: what is the difference between Government Bonds and Men?

A: Government Bonds are more mature.

_________

 

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