The 5 Stages of a Woman's Life

[atma]

The five stages of a woman's life:

 

1. To Grow Up

2. To Fill Out

3. To Slim Down

4. To Hold It In

5. To Hell With It!

[Tarun]

1) daughter

2) wife

3) mother

4) grandmother

5) yenta (can kick in at any stage)

[Tarun]

stage left, stage right, stage front, stage fright,

stagecoach (to skip town)

1-10 newborn, toddler/childhood

11-20 adolescence, student/teen-age

21-30 adult, grown-up/motherhood

31-40 selflessness, madness, serious...

41+ you don't wanna know! don't even go there!

[Tarun]

Offstage, onstage, staged, stagged, staggered

[Tarun]

1) 3 Rs - Reading, 'riting & 'rithmetic

2) Ripe, Ready & Rolling

3) Receiving, Reproducing & Rearing - Ma

4) Realizing & Retiring - Grandma

5) Remembering & Renouncing - Great Grandma, SAdhvI, vaiSNavI

[Enlightened]

Women:

tarun: "Newborn, toddler/childhood.

1-10 newborn, toddler/childhood

11-20 adolescence, student/teen-age

21-30 adult, grown-up/motherhood

31-40 selflessness, madness, serious...

41+ you don't wanna know! don't even go there!"

enlightened:

5) Yapping time: Only if you could have done this in your life, you are worth nothing!!- say this every day to your husband/ your self

6) Realizes the truth, she is dead.

 

 

Men:

 

Enlightened:1) "Newborn, toddler/childhood.

2) adolescence, student/teen-age.

3) selflessness, passion, hardwork, madness about his family, serious.... gotta bring up the children

4) Guilty: takes all the yelling, takes all the hatred, only if you could, only if you could from his wife.

5) Weak, old, body deterioration, can't hear, can't taste, teeth fell out... noo!!!

6) the last minute he realizes the truth and he is dead.