Instilling proper habits in childhood

[shvu 1]

 

Here is a list of virtues from "The Book of Virtues":

1. Self-Discipline

2. Compassion

3. Responsibility

4. Friendship

5. Work

6. Courage

7. Perseverance

8. Honesty

9. Loyalty

10. Faith

 

That just about sums it all, except I don't understand what is meant by faith as a virtue.

 

I have noticed in almost all cases that brothers, are of different natures. Although the upbringing was exactly the same for both, there is some inherent quality that seems to override everything else. So upbringing by itself does not shape a person's nature.

 

But since nothing can be done about that, the parent has to teach the above virtues to their kids and then hope for the best.

 

Cheers

 

[suryaz 0]

quote:

--

Originally posted by Gauracandra:

Here is a list of virtues from "The Book of Virtues":

1. Self-Discipline

2. Compassion

3. Responsibility

4. Friendship

5. Work

6. Courage

7. Perseverance

8. Honesty

9. Loyalty

10. Faith

 

 

--

 

NOPE!!!!! wrong - it is all in the approach

 

Kids need to know and understand why adherence to something is for their benefit. To insist your kids follow 1-10 mention above is an extremely authoritarian approach.

 

I would suggest an authoritative approach. Discuss with your kids why x is acceptable or otherwise. Then ask the kid to help you work out what the is best. To help the approach I would add the following to the above list :

11. Understanding

12 Critical analysis

13 Aspects of rationalism

 

And of course:

 

14 Love and affection

 

Definitely affection – all kids need affection.

 

Our kids are not robots. They are little people right now – but really they are souls. As souls they heave free-will and we should respect that. I am not saying one should not guide one’s offspring. I am saying to demand they function to (or dance to the tune of) our terms (alone) and not let them be active participants in decisions (we as parents) made about them is also to impinge on the intrinsic right of the soul to choose.

 

Yes; as parents we are responsible for the growth and development of our kids, but on the other hand the kids are also individual souls with free will. We cannot turn them into instruments of our pleasure. They are not objects we make demands of. They are not robots.

 

Guide you kids,

Explain things rationally to your kids,

Let them be participant in the decision.

And remind them that whatever decision they make, they have to take responsibility for. If as a parent you feel the decision the kid makes is wrong – then discuss with them/him/her what, how and why, the decision is wrong in your view.

 

 

 

 

[This message has been edited by suryaz (edited 12-04-2001).]

[talasiga 0]

<u>Topic: Instilling proper habits [in the parents] in childhood </u>

 

My children are now in their early twenties.

Since their birth they have been instilling

me with greater

 

1. Self-Discipline

2. Compassion

3. Responsibility

4. Friendship

5. Work

6. Courage

7. Perseverance

8. Honesty

9. Loyalty

10. Faith

 

They love me dearly

though they understand me not a jot.

They are "kids" cos I am a goat.

Some other "kids" have sheep for parents.