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darwin, a life

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This was posted to the now defunct VNN forums almost a year ago. It is being reposted here due to interest shown in it by many devotees.


darwin, a life:


darwin grew up in a typical american family. His mother was a Democratic party operative and his father was a college professor, he has a brother 3 years younger. Both of his parents were raised as Unitarians, although his mother was adopted. His father's father is a Unitarian minister. His mother's natural father was shot down over France. darwins mother's adoptive mother had to watch her own mother burn to death in an oven explosion, and had to watch, as her brother died at home, of a bone infection. darwin remembers that when he was 6 years old, he and his family were visiting some relatives. His parents, aunt, and uncle were in the front room. It was raining and thundering. His uncle, also a Unitarian minister, who must have been drinking a bit, suddenly screamed "**** you god!". darwin and the other children were startled, never having heard of god talked about as though he actually existed, and worried that if he did exist, he might take offense. A few seconds passed, and the uncle said "We Unitarians can say that". A lightning bolt exploded right next to the house and all the lights went out. One evening when he was four years old, darwin came home from visiting a friend next door. His father told him that his puppy is dead, run over by his mother with the Volkswagen. His father brought him outside to view the remains. The father pulled back the edge of the tarp, and shined a flashlight. The puppy looked perfectly ok, exept that his head was a flat bloody pulp. When he asked his father if there was any magic that could fix it, he was thinking of climbing a very tall mountain in a very far away place.


darwin never got another dog again until he was 16. His parents weren't poor, there was a big back yard, and his younger brother had a dog and a cat, but darwin just had his cat and mice. His parents used to tell him, after his brother got a dog when darwin was 12, that he was too old have a dog, because he would be going to college in a few years. His brother's dog was the second dog their mother had brought home. The first dog was a huge Saint Bernard, a stray that his mothers friends had picked up. darwins father wasn't there to advise against it, as he had left darwin's mother and was "out ***ing around around the town" as his mother would often say. A couple of hours after it got to the house, the dog attacked darwin, leaving him with an inch long piece of his upper lip hanging down over his chin. He went into the the bathroom and looked in the mirror. He then went to his mothers room, stepping over the blood and walking past his stunned brother. He told his mother "don't worry, it doesn't hurt.", when he went in, so she wouldn't get too upset. The lip took 18 stitches with no anesthetic, and the fang wound on the cheek took 5. After a few years, the lip looked fine, though slightly swollen. So when he was 16, darwin was very happy to be getting his own dog. After the dog died at the age of 2, darwin calculated that he would rather loose one of his arms, but not both arms or 1 leg. Again, it was the father who broke the news. darwin remembers that earlier in the day, he and his father were at the mall. The book "Pet Cemetery" had just come out that day, and there was a giant display in the front of the book store. darwin remembers that he and his father shared a nervous look. darwin had a dream in the one hour he managed to sleep that night. He walked his dog one last time, about halfway to the other world, and


darwin sat behind his favorite log, drinking a 40 and watching the muskrat swim by. He had recently been having more dreams about being trapped under water. Before, he would just breath in the water like air. Those had been good dreams. He could still breath in the new dreams, but it was all in flooded buildings with long hallways and down the stairs to the Blue Line, all under water, to where he and the woman had first arranged to meet, away from the Gita class. He was supposed to swim back up the other stairs, but there were no stairs and the chain link fence meant that they would not let him win. When he woke up from that dream he analyzed all the elements; seven year old child in the dream, seven years since the abortion. He looked at the scars on his arm. Had that helped? As he sat behind the log, watching another muskrat swim by, he thought about a new dream he had just last night about Jeffrey Dahmer being murdered in prison, and waking up to find out that John Salvi had been killed. He was not sure if he had met John. One afternoon, a couple of years after the abortion, before he started drinking, darwin saw a group of silent protesters across the street from an abortion clinic. He had spent the earlier part of the day reading 300 year old grave stones and trying to make himself cry. "and the tears of strangers water his grave" was his favorite. He saw a young man approach the group and walk up to the priest. They talked for a short time, the priest handed him something, and he left. darwin waited a few minutes, then went over to the group. The priest asked him how he was doing and where he lived. darwin sort of lied, saying he was "staying with friends". The priest gave darwin 5 dollars. Within the next year, John Salvi attacked 2 abortion clinics, killing a worker in each clinic, including the one where darwin's wife had an abortion. darwin and his wife are still together after 13 years. They now have 2 very young children. darwin no longer sits behind that log.



[This message has been edited by darwin (edited 11-06-2001).]

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Dear Darwin, please be careful of withdra-

wing every life away from you if such a life

is actually worth that much. We go from one

life to another but could not stay at any

one at all. Our minds are always changing

from one thought to another. Lives do come

and go but if we go, we go and never come

back again because it will haunt those who

are staying for a while. You must remember

that only Lord Jesus Christ can make us go,

and if we are ready, He would always draw

out our strength to be able to succeed in

our next journey. My brother, Marco, and

my father went away, I believe, to Sri

Radha Madana-Mohana Mandir in Washington.

That`s why they are not here anymore. I

guess they want to be with those beautiful

ladies who are currently serving Swami

Prabhupad. I hope you get my point regar-

ding this discussion. That Darwin`s are not

wardens, so to speak. Praise the Lord!

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