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Pamho.

i have been practicing KC since I was a kid. I am now 24 years old and want to get married already to this devotee I am in love with. We have known each other for more than five years already.But I feel that this plan of ours is being look down upon by the other deovtees in our yatra since marrages in the Vedic culture is arranged. Does "being in love" exist or is allowed in the practice of KC?

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im 20 years old, in love with another devotee. both have been practicing KC since birth. my parents are against our relationship because we have very different backgrounds, most especially our educational background. i am far more educated than him. practically speaking, yes, it will be hard for us to be together because how would he or we bea able to support a family. but i love him dearly. but what can i do, i am under the mercy of my parents.

 

you are blessed to have found a partner how is a devotee as well. if you feel both of you are ready spiritually, financially, and all the other aspects, then go. the goal of marriage is to help one anothe become more KC.

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exactly, the goal of human life is to be KC. It doesn't matter about material wealth or education. those things don't mean anything in the cold light of day. i think if you love someone who can take you forward spiritually and who can help you too then that is a very positive thing.

 

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marriage in the Vedic culture is arranged, but then it should also have the culture to support it. without that, the arranged marriage of two people who have nothing in common is likely to fail, as we have seen in ISKCON.

 

main thing is not to get a divorce. if you have someone with whom you already have a good understanding/relationship, then that is a good prospect for a lasting marriage and therefore conducive to Krsna consciousness.

 

if we could choose, then we would have arranged marriage also, but the expedient principle is not to break up the family unit.

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>> Does "being in love" exist or is allowed in the practice of KC?

 

most of what we call 'being in love' is a material affection for the opposite sex, which comes naturally for the conditioned soul. yet, in the absence of true feelings of love of God, this familial affection is very important for the psychological well being of the children and parents. if the women and children are happy and feel 'loved' then they can practice God consciousness without undue agitation.

 

 

in iskcon often people think they are above material affection but in reality are just cold. and thus the women and children suffer emotional neglect. but it is common sense that if one is attached enough to get married, then he is attached enough to take care of his wife nicely. not that he should take a wife due to attachment and then neglect her because of supposed "detachment."

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I think you got me wrong. Yes, spiritual advancement is the primary goal of marriage life and of ever human life. but one cannot neglect one's materila needs and in order to be able to provide you own and your family's material needs, education is one of but not the only thing needed. There should be a balance between material and spiritual life. If one neglects his material needs this will bring about disturbances like anger and eventaully greed, and this will affect one's spiritaul life. but at the same time, we need to transcend these material needs or perhaps wants, by transforming them into spiritual wants/desires to increase one's service to Guru and Krishna.

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