For Private Students- Say What?!

January 23, 2010

My mind instantly shouts, how can this be! Oh heck no! My life, my love, my

being. Say what? As my ego runs in circles and bounces into the walls and

skurries backwards in a fast retreat. Where's the abort button! I can feel my

ego squirming, fighting, resisting and running for cover as I read through this

partial list. We talk about surrender all the time, but how does truly surrender

to these? via trust in Divine?

With Love and wishful surrendering

-Danielle

, " "

<> wrote:

>

> I give a contract of surrender for doing private work through me towards the

Kundalini. I will not post that contract here but will give you some of the

surrender objectives so that you can know how deep and steep this area of

spiritual development is. Perhaps this can guide you in your own level of

surrender towards your personal mastery and divine expression.

>

January 23, 2010

I have wondered the same for a few years. Was just thinking of asking here on

the group how do others surrender? I know it is not a giving up it is a letting

go - turning over all to allow the guidance to come from the Divine yes??

I say I have totally surrendered I want to with all my heart yet what does that

mean? How do I know I have? If I ask does it mean I have not?

What does it mean to totally surrender and can one explain how it is done or is

it just each one finds their own surrender path.

Oh Divine Shakti - show me the way to your heart thru surrender...

e

January 23, 2010

Danielle,

Thank you for your post - it inspired me to think and write about these words of

Chrism's. And to ponder in what ways and to what extent I am surrendering and

resisting.

I'm hardly a paragon of surrender myself, but here are a few thoughts, notes to

myself pretending to be a response to your post.

All of the things on the surrender list, and probably many more not written

about, must go. That is, if we persist in our practice, these things will no

longer matter to us in the least. We will become empty, and will simply do what

the universe tells us to do - no thought involved, just because it is " right " .

Not right as in right versus wrong, just right as in appropriate, or in harmony

with the ebbs and flows of the all that there is. Or, my " job " at this moment

is to do x, y, or z. Ultimately, this is karma yoga or acting dharmically: yes,

karma yoga is a " path " to get there (wherever " there " is), but it cannot really

be performed perfectly until all that other stuff has been dropped.

As long as we think we're acting dharmically or " being spiritual " , we're still

embodying an ego-supporting idea of who we are. Over time we may gradually

replace more mundane concerns and definitions of who we are (must make a lot of

money, have a family, succeed in the world, whatever) with ideas like " I am a

spiritual being " , " I am on a spiritual path " , etc. These new definitions of

who we are make us feel good and make the ego feel righteous and sometimes even

superior. Still, we've replaced one concept of who we are with another. A new

framework for ego to identify with.

Some will say there is nothing to attain, no " there " to get to. I suppose this

is true, once you've gotten there. It's a Realization that all the things on

the surrender list are not you and matter not in the least. That's realization

with a capital R; intellectual understanding won't work - thinking you

understand this is still thinking, another concept of who you are (or are not)

obscuring the Divine which you are.

Some paths do it gradually, handing out day to day tasks that gradually erode

one's attachment to and identification with the things to be surrendered. Note

that " gradually " is relative - as we experience the transcendence of our false

identifications, it can seem more traumatic than gradual. Depends on how

attached we are to the concepts. Surrender can help, along with all the other

safeties - the safeties are something to do while this whole process is

happening to us so we can experience the wonder of it and not the fear of

" losing " something. Gradually our lives fill more and more with the Divine, and

the other stuff is displaced. Thy will, not my will.

Aren't there things you used to think were really important, but now they no

longer matter at all? That will happen, I think, with all the stuff on the

list. The safeties are like a lubricant that makes the process go more

smoothly.

Probably one of the last things to go is the desire for enlightenment, for inner

awakening, for spiritual evolution. But in the meantime I believe that this

desire propels us forward - keeps us going as we surrender all the other stuff,

so as to not have love, but be love.

There's actually a form of tantra that works with constantly providing new

frameworks and dissolving old ones. Go make it in the world. Ok, now go have a

family. Ok, now go form a charity and feed the poor. Ok, now give that up and

go live in this cave for a while. Ok, now see who the universe sends you for

teaching. Ok, now lose the teacher identity and go do something else. Etc.,

etc. All the while you continue to meditate and practice and receive

shaktipats. This needs a pure teacher to keep kicking you out of the framework

you have completed, lest you forget who you really are and get stuck in any one

concept of who you are, or suddenly become " too big for your britches " , thinking

you are a Somebody.

I don't know much about being a private student yet. I've only really asked for

the process to be initiated - I feel there are probably a few years or more of

conditioning and probation, so to speak. My thoughts only. I feel a contract

of surrender is simultaneously a declaration of intent, a plea to the Divine for

assistance, and a form of surrender to the Divine and to the teacher. It sets

in motion a flow in the universe, which is then amplified, guided, and assisted

by the K and by the teacher.

As I said, I'm hardly a paragon of surrender. Take what I write under

advisement - I haven't dropped all of these things - I'm just well-read. In my

opinion, you don't have to instantly drop all of these things at once, although

some people do. The attachments and false identifications get chipped away at

each day. Some people have all of these things pulled out from under them at

once. There's an element of karma involved, as well as how little " you " you

have left that needs to be dissolved for you to merge with infinity.

Personally I think that each time you go into the infinite (however finitely,

lol) or allow the Goddess to work her magic - in meditation, at a seminar, a

moment of stillnes, whenever - you come back different. Gradually all the

things on the surrender list get eroded and dissolved. Each time you " come

back " , you have to reorient, since the " you " that came back is not the " you "

that left. Sometimes you feel like you are in a chronic process of getting your

sea legs!

There will come a time when I will probably be asked to blindly jump off a

cliff, in trust, with no assurance of the result. In the meantime, I keep

practicing by jumping off these little hills that Shakti keeps providing in her

love.

Here's a quote I like: In the pursuit of learning, everyday something is

acquired. In the pursuit of Tao, everyday something is dropped.

As it says in big blinking letters on the front cover of The Hitchhiker's Guide

to the Universe: Don't Panic.

Love,

David

January 23, 2010

I wonder too.

I think that there can be " giving up " involved in surrender.

A couple of months ago I was directed by K to change to a vegtan diet. It has

been no effort to give up eggs and dairy although cheese was probably my most

favourite food of all.

No effort at all, surrender to the direction was easy, who would have known !

This must be because the divine is doing this for me, on my own it would not

have been easy. This might be a silly example I am not sure but I think the

same thing has applied to bigger and more personal surrenders. Choosing to

surrender and then finding it is easy peasy.

The choice to surrender has to be my choice but somehow the follow through is

done for me. Well that is how it feels to me.

THAT SAID...lol I have been directed to do something regarding clothing and I

just can't seem to surrender to that. I have tried to surrender but it has not

been a 100% surrender and i think that divinity will not assist until I choose

to 100% surrender and do it with no expectation of what happens afterwards.

My ego is trying to negotiate with K but K will not budge!

Again like going vegan I have no idea why I am to do this except in this example

I am not able to do it. AND this is just about clothing which are ego

expressions, I am shocked at my own inability to " give up " . I have made certain

promises but those are just bids to avoid what is being asked of me. I think I

want to surrender but the action required is too big for my ego to be quiet, she

is doing a panic scramble like Danielles...lol!

I think but I am not yet sure, that if the surrender is 100% then what follows

is easy.

Maybe there are different types of surrender, or probably one surrender but with

different methods given in order for us to practice surrender...lol! I hope to

get there eventually!

love Julia

, " " .

wrote:

>

> I have wondered the same for a few years. Was just thinking of asking here

on the group how do others surrender? I know it is not a giving up it is a

letting go - turning over all to allow the guidance to come from the Divine

yes??

> I say I have totally surrendered I want to with all my heart yet what does

that mean? How do I know I have? If I ask does it mean I have not?

>

> What does it mean to totally surrender and can one explain how it is done or

is it just each one finds their own surrender path.

>

> Oh Divine Shakti - show me the way to your heart thru surrender...

> e

>

January 23, 2010

This is a great thread. Thanks, Danielle, for starting it. I am consistently

moved by your simple honesty and openness.

When I read chrism's partial list of surrenderings the other day, I had a much

different reaction than the first time I read his posts on surrender. That was

almost a year ago, when I first joined the list (and spent the next six months

lurking). I felt cautious and guarded, not knowing who this man was and why he

was asking people to turn over their lives to him. I had a list of three or four

things I absolutely was not willing to surrender, mainly my work, my home, my

body and my community. (Is there anything not on this list? Haha!)

In the eleven months since starting the Safeties, I have undergone a gradual

rubbing away of attachment to these " identities. " It's been an interesting

process. I've had to grapple with a lot of fears which kept me bound to these

external identities. I have found that each fear is a rope, and each rope is a

wound binding me to the past, to a hurtful or scary experience which needs

healing.

The Safeties help condition me in an overall way, but Healing is much more

pointed. Over and over again, it requires me to walk straight into the heart of

my fear, to say the words and do the things which I think are going to kill me.

Each time, what I find instead of death, is Love. Love, and a lighter lightness.

Peeling off another heavy cloak, letting it drop from my shoulders, vibrating

just a little faster, floating just a little higher.

My work I have prepared to walk away from, and have found myself more fully

engaged and effective. My home I have opened to community, and find it a more

cozy sanctuary. My body, opened to Spirit and rocked by kriyas, fed and fasted,

thrumming and shifting, has become the rain reaching to earth, and the earth

absorbing the rain. It has become earthquake and fire, lightning rod and languid

rolling hills.

In surrendering the i, all of Creation becomes all that I AM.

It has been helpful to remember dying. It has been helpful to remember that in

other times and places I have had bodies and homes, families and communities,

purposes and ambitions. I have shed them all, become that spark of light, and

here I am again. Another stage, another play, another set of props.

Now I have the opportunity to shed it all and remain here, a spark of light in a

physical body. Free to be, to go where needed. To don and doff costumes, play

with props, assume the accents and attributes which help with the Unfolding.

All I have to do is let go. Let go of my tight grip on what I want and how I

think things should be, and surrender.

Surrender? Such a dramatic word. How about play. Play! Heal, peel, and play!

Peace,

Shaz

January 23, 2010

Surrender All??!!

Yes Iamwaitingmoon,

in my innocence of this process, i trustÂ Shakti the neurodetoxification of the

fossilised

repression of ty, remove the friction and the futile cycling of the nervous

system so that a new exalted Divine me will arise. She knows me better than i

know myself.

So help me Shakti Kundalini Mahal na Inkong.

thank you Teacher.

Handle me with care,

Blessings,

ty

--- On Sat, 1/23/10, iamwaitingmoon <iamwaitingmoon wrote:

iamwaitingmoon <iamwaitingmoon

Re: For Private Students- Say What?!

Saturday, January 23, 2010, 1:21 PM

Â

My mind instantly shouts, how can this be! Oh heck no! My life, my love,

my being. Say what? As my ego runs in circles and bounces into the walls and

skurries backwards in a fast retreat. Where's the abort button! I can feel my

ego squirming, fighting, resisting and running for cover as I read through this

partial list. We talk about surrender all the time, but how does truly surrender

to these? via trust in Divine?

With Love and wishful surrendering

-Danielle

Kundalini-Awakening -Systems- 1 , " "

<@ ...> wrote:

>

> I give a contract of surrender for doing private work through me towards the

Kundalini. I will not post that contract here but will give you some of the

surrender objectives so that you can know how deep and steep this area of

spiritual development is. Perhaps this can guide you in your own level of

surrender towards your personal mastery and divine expression.

>

January 24, 2010

" What does it mean to totally surrender and can one explain how it is done or is

it just each one finds their own surrender path. "

I was just thinking the same thing. With everything that the Kundalini has asked

me to change so far, sometimes it just falls away immediately sometimes it takes

some persistence but it will eventually fall away. Once you put your intent out

there and become aware of whatever it is you have to surrender to, the ego will

eventually submit. For the things that the ego is more resistant to, it really

takes that first strong sincere intent to get the ball rolling, and eventually

it will.

So like Julia was saying maybe in the beginning it might require to just keep

going back to those intents that were posted, and while your ego's initial

reaction to some of them might be pure resistance, eventually little by little

the ego will break down.

, " " .

wrote:

w do I know I have? If I ask does it mean I have not?

>

> What does it mean to totally surrender and can one explain how it is done or

is it just each one finds their own surrender path.

>

January 24, 2010

As per yogic philosophy self surrender is devotional dedication to

God/Shakti.Kindly ref Yoga sutra no 23 from Samadhi paad, sutra 32 & 45 from

chapter 2 will throw more light .Any one interested may read Comments on

Patanjali's Yogasutra , which is considered to be most authoritative treatise on

Yoga.Selena has mentioned about the book,she has read on KAS-1

site............shrikant

________________________________

astraltraveler1984 <mjf84

Mon, 25 January, 2010 5:57:01 AM

Re: For Private Students- Say What?!

" What does it mean to totally surrender and can one explain how it is done or is

it just each one finds their own surrender path. "

The INTERNET now has a personality. YOURS! See your Homepage.

http://in./

January 24, 2010

This raises some interesting veiwpoints. Treat me like a two year old because I

need more understanding of what it is to " surrender " to kundalini. How is this

done? How do you know if you have done so? Is there a sign or signal to make you

aware of such? My awareness has intensified megafold as well as

intuitive/psychic abilities but I have so many questions that I need/want

answers to. I am having this tremendous need to sleep continueously, constant

tingling, buzzing of my head and teeth. My enitre ascpect of life has changed

tremendously. My inner vision has become almost frightening to the real life

reality of whatever and you name it. If it was not for this group, and

other members, who knows what institution I may be in. I may have the answers

somewhere inside of me but it is not registering. Maybe I am blocked this why or

not for a reason.

January 25, 2010

Increased sleep allows for changes that are not allowed with as much ease when

the ego is engaged. Buzzing teeth is a reflection of what is occurring in the

whole physical as each part is a simulacrum of the whole. Electric teeth

indicate that the changes are being made everywhere.

Yes your surrender my dear friend is not yet complete. Please Denny look at the

menu of surrenderring's that I posted and see where yours can be adjusted.

Please ask the questions and if help can be given so will it be received.

blessings and love Denny! - chrism

, Denny <dennynorton

wrote:

>

> This raises some interesting veiwpoints. Treat me like a two year old because

I need more understanding My enitre ascpect of life has changed tremendously.

January 25, 2010

I on the other hand am getting to the point of desperate for sleep. If the baby

is not kicking me in the back (yes I know, I am responsible for him still

sleeping with me).. Our blessed Shakti has either my brain or my body tingling

just enough to not be able to let go and sleep.. Good thing a walking zombie is

status quot in our society today.. smirk

/michelle

>

> Increased sleep allows for changes that are not allowed with as much ease when

the ego is engaged.

January 25, 2010

Dear Denny,

I have been having trouble with understanding what it means to 'surrender' also.

Then I realised that it is not surrender that I have been afraid of, but

submission. Surrender to the divine does not mean you are losing something of

yourself, instead you are gaining wholeness of self. In surrender you are

connecting to the divine whereas in submission you are being alienated.

Surrender is opening your heart in embrace whereas submission will result in the

closing and silencing of the heart. Your inner vision will show you ways to

express in the real life reality.

This has been helpful for me,

Love, Sandra

, Denny <dennynorton

wrote:

>

> This raises some interesting veiwpoints. Treat me like a two year old because

I need more understanding of what it is to " surrender " to kundalini. How is this