Dying must feel like this- and even worse…

[Guest guest]

Hare Krishna dear devotees

I would like to share something about some unconsciousness trauma that come up this week- and it made me very afraid and I realize that that the time of death must be the heaviest job in the world.

 

Myself I had a MRI scan this week in hospital- I was in this cocoon for 20 minutes-

As being quite clausterfobic in the first minutes I pressed the emergency button as I was totally in panic; the place is small, my head tied up I couldn’t move, it was hot, and it was so small that I couldn’t focus on something so I had to close my eyes.

I felt like being buried alive- but the job had to be done I had no choice…

 

By laying in that thing, I think it was the most heavy experience in my entire life.

Nobody could hear me there, only loud noise and because of the magnetic field I felt like my brains were sucking out- I felt out of control an my muscles were hurting as I was holding myself stiff as I felt so much fear. When I came out I was feeling really strange dizzy and emotional, later in bed I cried and while I am writing this I feel touched again.

Because the worst thing of all is, that death must feel like this. Lonely – no control of your body, nobody who can hear you- all my attachments, the people whom I love, they can not help me anymore-

Sadly enough I didn’t think about Krishna in this stress situation, only the last five minutes I tried to chant on the rhythm of the noise and that made me a bit less stiff.

But still- I was so in shock and fear that I was not thinking about God in the heavy moments-

 

All those years practicing KC, made me proud like : “ Ow when I die I will think of Him”

Well now I realize that I will probably not, at least not now-

There is a lot of work to do…

 

Thank u for reading-

[theist 1]

 

Hare Krishna dear devotees .....

 

.....Because the worst thing of all is, that death must feel like this. Lonely – no control of your body, nobody who can hear you- all my attachments, the people whom I love, they can not help me anymore-

Sadly enough I didn’t think about Krishna in this stress situation, only the last five minutes I tried to chant on the rhythm of the noise and that made me a bit less stiff.

But still- I was so in shock and fear that I was not thinking about God in the heavy moments-

 

All those years practicing KC, made me proud like : “ Ow when I die I will think of Him”

Well now I realize that I will probably not, at least not now-

There is a lot of work to do…

 

Thank u for reading-

 

Krsna really blessed you zara. That is one heavy realization. He really brought it home for you. One thing is the last five minutes you "tried to chant". Sucessful or unsuccessful in keeping the mantra going...still you were reaching out to Krsna, 'consciously', in the last few minutes. You were struggling to remember Krsna. That is also remembering Him. And for sure Krsna was remembring you.

 

All those years of practicing Krsna consciousness may have made you a little proud and that is what Krsna addressed by orchestrating this lesson for you. That is proof right there that all those years of chanting have not been in vain but actually very fruitfull.

 

Now you are thinking that you will not think of Him at the time of death and that you still have a lot of work to do. If you had become complacent in this regard it is apparent that Krsna shook that complacency out of you. I am sure of this from you post and also because it shook me up just by reading your account. Kind of a "contact" wake up call if you know what I mean by that. =:-).

 

Now you feel to increase your sadhana, "There is a lot of work to do." That sort of determination I have lacked all my life. I have had a similar realization like this. Long ago I came to understand that I am not fit to properly excecute sadhana-bhakti. I have never been able to keep this practice even somewhat together for more than a month or two at a time. The silver lining is I have no faith in my practice of sadhana to rescue me at the critical moment of death. My only shelter now is in the grace of Krsna and Lord Caitanya.

 

Practice alone will never be enough for any of us. Without the personal glance of mercy from Sri Krsna upon us it will all be for naught. So we do our best and rely on Krsna to see us through.

 

Thank you for sharing your realizationz with us.

 

Hare Krsna

[theist 1]

There is a verse in the bhagavat like this. But I can't remember where it is. If someone knows please post it.

[Avinash 0]

Read B.G. 8.6 and B.G. 8.7

[Guest guest]

Theist wrote:

 

"Long ago I came to understand that I am not fit to properly excecute sadhana-bhakti. I have never been able to keep this practice even somewhat together for more than a month or two at a time. The silver lining is I have no faith in my practice of sadhana to rescue me at the critical moment of death. My only shelter now is in the grace of Krsna and Lord Caitanya.

 

Practice alone will never be enough for any of us. Without the personal glance of mercy from Sri Krsna upon us it will all be for naught. So we do our best and rely on Krsna to see us through."

 

Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your realizations. Please consider writing more on this topic (an article maybe?), if you haven't already done so (or even if you have!).

 

Everyone must have hope. And besides, who has never strayed, at least a little...or at least in the mind?

 

Happy trails, Theistji, back home, back to Godhead.

 

[theist 1]

 

Read B.G. 8.6 and B.G. 8.7

 

BG 8.5: And whoever, at the end of his life, quits his body, remembering Me alone, at once attains My nature. Of this there is no doubt.

 

 

BG 8.6: Whatever state of being one remembers when he quits his body, O son of Kuntī, that state he will attain without fail.

 

 

BG 8.7: Therefore, Arjuna, you should always think of Me in the form of Kṛṣṇa and at the same time carry out your prescribed duty of fighting. With your activities dedicated to Me and your mind and intelligence fixed on Me, you will attain Me without doubt.

 

 

 

Yes Avinash, these certainly relate. I remember what I think is a verse from the Bhagavat about Krsna taking a devotee even though he couldn't remember him, Krsna remembered Him. Faulty memory so who knows.

[theist 1]

Thank you for the kind words Guest prabhu.

 

Lord Caitanya came for the most fallen. Well it seems to me that one who comes to Krsna consciousness and after 35 years can't get the basics straight is in that class deserving Divine mercy.

 

I agree, let us all go back to back to Godhead to be with our Supreme Friend.

 

Haribol!

[Guest guest]

That not only does the devotee think of Krsna, but that Krsna always thinks of his devotee.

 

We are not perfect, when the truck runs us over, we say "Oh &%*$#". But when Krsna sees his devotee in a bad way, He thinks, "My unalloyed servant, you are very dear to Me".

 

So while we know that the time of death is very important to fix our consciousness, we also know that our lifetime of trying to do the right thing, even in our imperfection, is effectual, is acceptable to one who loves us without any imperfection at all.

 

I know the feeling, I used to undergo a full body scan for radiological contamination when I worked with them trident missiles. And Im so claustrophobic that the US Navy gave me a medical retirement. Ive had three of these "deaths" while in confined spaces aboard Trident Submarines, one of them, Lord Yamaraja showed Himself, once I had no thought whatsoever, total blank, and the other time, I said "Aw &%$#&". All three cases I had a strong feeling of protection, however, and this is based on the fact that Srila Prabhupada promises protection, promises absolutely no loss, if we engage in even a little devotional servixce.

 

Hare Krsna, ys, mahaksadasa

[Guest guest]

Recently I had to go to ER and this is what I discovered works for me:

 

When things were very frenetic like being wheeled through the hallways and feels like you are a cameraman for TV show ER, then HK maha mantra worked perfectly. I could internally feel it, hear it, and remember all of the frenetic fast-paced kirtans, tapes, CDs, and bhajans I had ever experienced. These remembrances became like a sound track to my own personal ER show that I was starring in.

 

However then after that they had to wheel me in to have the various scans. Which involve alot of tubes and instruments and equipment humming. I myself have also meditated alot on the syllable AUM in my lifetime: by this I mean I try to be very cognizant of that fact that it occurs everywhere. I listen for the AUMs whenever I am: out in nature, hear background traffic, the roar of a city, a bus, an electrical fan, an A/C, an elevator, or what have you.

 

Kind of like a little contest or hobby I have with myself. I always try to figure out which name of God I am hearing at any given time. With human-made things I find that I hear AUM buzzing from them. I think it is like a loving God saying, "I'm everywhere." I think it is so great. I really enjoy it and get into it. Then I always feel comforted wherever I am.

 

That is what I have found works for me in those claustrophobic metallic situations with tubes and probings: I listen for the various AUMs in the room. Then it becomes an interesting discovery situation and gives me a little game to play. Like with kids when they are sick, hurt, or crying you try to distract them with a game: something else to focus on. So I feel like AUM is a little distraction game that my loving and wise parent God made up for me to play.

[Guest guest]

 

 

"Lord Caitanya came for the most fallen. Well it seems to me that one who comes to Krsna consciousness and after 35 years can't get the basics straight is in that class deserving Divine mercy."

 

Whew!

[Sephiroth 0]

 

But still- I was so in shock and fear that I was not thinking about God in the heavy moments-

 

All those years practicing KC, made me proud like : “ Ow when I die I will think of Him”

Well now I realize that I will probably not, at least not now-

There is a lot of work to do…

 

Thank u for reading-

 

Death is one in a life-time opportunity (for most people anyway). Don't think that praying or thinking about God alone will be sufficient enough to prepare you for it.

 

In Death, it is the worst thought and fears in you which comes forward, not your pleasent thought.

 

I suggest you take up meditation to calm your mind and prepare yourself for the "real" experience.

[gHari 0]

We each have three things that are eternal: Krsna, our self, and our devotion to Krsna. Hold onto any one of them at death or in traumatic situations and the others will be there.

 

 

This enforced detachment has clearly been a boon for you, zara. Seeing it all in this perspective has shown your growing maturity and advancement on the path. No doubt Sri Krsna is pleased with the result. Falling in love takes time. You have time.

[theist 1]

 

 

That not only does the devotee think of Krsna, but that Krsna always thinks of his devotee.

 

Hey Mahak, isn't there a verse in SB where Krsna explictly says as much? I remember it being there but of course that doesn't mean it is. ;-)

 

gHari do you know?

[gHari 0]

All I could find, but it's not the verse:

 

http://vedabase.net/sb/4/30/29/en

[theist 1]

That also approaches gHari it but it is a very explict verse.

[Avinash 0]

 

That also approaches gHari it but it is a very explict verse.

 

I am not aware of such an explicit verse, but there is a story.

 

Ramanujacarya once asked Lord Ranganatha, "My Lord, what is the fate of the devotee who cannot remember you at the moment of death?"

 

Lord replied, "If my devotee cannot remember me at the moment of death, then I will remember my devotee."

 

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[theist 1]

Yes Avinash, that is the principle. That is our true hope. We will try to remember Krsna as best we can but if not we pray that Krsna will grace us.

[Avinash 0]

 

Yes Avinash, that is the principle. That is our true hope. We will try to remember Krsna as best we can but if not we pray that Krsna will grace us.

 

Hi,

Remember your own post? Several months back (I guess around two years) you posted the experience of another devotee who had written about his experience in Iraq. I mean, you quoted that devotee. I also remember you quoting him that Lord never forgets His devotees.

 

I remember that post of yours quite well because I had read it completely. Hope, you also remember. After all, it was your post.

[Guest guest]

Please accept my obeisance’s!!!! wauw

I didn’t expect so many reactions, thank you so much- it really helped me and gave me lots of inspiration. You somehow gave me my trust back, and my fear is slowly decreasing. I really liked the quotes you referred to the sastra`s- really interesting :-)

 

warmly

zara

[krishnadasa 0]

I feel myself lucky that even for a smalla accident , first thing comes on my lips is Krishna oh krishna... I guess thats only Krishna's grace.. though i am one fourth class devotee.....I bend one crore times to my spirital master and to him for such a grace....

 

Hari bol

[krishnadasa 0]

 

Please accept my obeisance’s!!!! wauw

I didn’t expect so many reactions, thank you so much- it really helped me and gave me lots of inspiration. You somehow gave me my trust back, and my fear is slowly decreasing. I really liked the quotes you referred to the sastra`s- really interesting :-)

 

warmly

zara

 

Dont worry Zara, once the devotee always the devotee, once you have taken shelter , now Krishna will take care, there is not even a micron of doubt about that... However you imoure you are, krishna knows that you are his and he is yours thats for sure...

 

hari bol