Krsnanatha

Actually this parable was told to me at the LA temple by an older disciple of Srila Prabhupada. This person was well travelled in India and told it in the context of the cultural similarity of jokes. Specifically the requirement of some ironic twist to broadside the listener. He said he was told this "joke" by a native of India, a hindu and more importantly a member of the brahmin community. Odviously it is not my intent to disrespect the brahmin class. The story does simply point out that even within a generally well respected class of human beings there may in fact reside some charlatans and that their exposure is generally appreciated by society at large. For the reader who fails to understand the cultural cross over, this would be something like a western representative of Christianity (fill in your own choice of name here) being shown, through the device of humor to be the fallible human they undoubtedly are.

Once upon a time a man standing in line at the intake center of heaven stepped forward. One of the administrators opened a large book and said, "Here in Heaven the issue of Earthly fidelity is one of the factors which determines one's standing in heaven for all of eternity. He asked this individual "Sir, how many times in the course of your marriage were you unfaithful to the vows of your marriage". The man put on the spot replied "Uh, Never?" The administrator replied "Sir this is the realm of the absolute and careful records of all your dealings on Earth have been recorded and frankly I can see from my records your not being one hundred percent forthcoming, would you like to change your answer? The man realizing he could not roll through this inquiry unscathed replied, "Ok, I cheated three times". The administrator glanced at the record and said "Yes according to my ledger that is your unfortunate record. Here in heaven the vehicle you will be awarded is based on marital fidelty and as a result of your less than perfect record you get this faded yellow Ford Pinto to drive for all eternity. The man feeling this was a bit harsh stood by as the next man stepped up and was asked the same question regarding maritial faithfulness to which he replied "Ah, never?". The adminstrator consulted his ledger and confirmed the man was being truthful. The administrator said "Because of your strict adherence to your martial vows you, for all eternity will drive this solid gold Mercedes Benz. The man who received the faded yellow Ford Pinto felt a tinge of anger at the extreme disparity between what he was awarded versus what the other man recieved. Several weeks later while cruising heaven in his Pinto he came upon the man in the solid gold Mercedes. The man in the Mercedes was crying uncontrollably. The man in the Pinto rolled down his window and said "What are you crying for, you got the gold Mercedes!?". "I just saw my wife", replied the Mercedes driver. The Pinto driver in an attempt to console him said, "Don't feel bad. Granted she has also left the mortal coil but at least she's here in heaven". "That's not why I'm crying" he replied. "Then what are you so upset about" inquired the Pinto driver. "She was riding a skate board".

This reminds my of a sign I once saw from one of the former Soviet States which warned the populace not to cart off drums of nuclear waste.

For the sake of this exchange, I want to make it clear I am repeating the presentation of a particularly schooled individual from India (and for the record Northern India) in my reply. I am for the record, a fool American, on my best day a chandala who was born with a pork chop dangling from my mouth. I do not want to seem to be representing myself as an authority but merely repeating the representations of a person who is a Vaisnava and who from a mundane level is a college educated individual whose specialized area of study was history.

I had a specific experiance with this situation. While in Trivindrum my former wife recieved word that her father had passed away. The Maharaja who was leading our group of pilgrams recommended that for some small donation the priests of the Padmanaba temple would chant some prayer on my father-in-law's behalf before the Diety. For anyone unfamiliar with the history behind the Padmanaba Diety, He is an extremely large, gorgeous Visnu Murti reposed in a reclined position. It is said that He is composed, internally of 10,108 Salagram Silas and was installed on the first day of Kali yuga. To say the diety is incredibley remarkable from purely a visual point of view is an understatement. We entered the temple and spoke with one of the officials regarding the situation at hand. He had us write down his name in english which he then transliterated into sanskrit along with an explanation of the nature of our request. The note was handed to one of the attending pujaris who, reading the sankrit representation, pronounced my departed father-in-law's name perfectly. During his time on Earth this man spent his entire life driving a bus for the Los Angeles Rapid Transit District. I could not help but think he was the luckiest L.A. bus driver who ever walked the planet when I heared the Brahmin echo his name against the walls of such a revered and holy place accompanied by a beautiful flow of prayers in honor of Sri Padmanaba.

My understanding, historically (from an older native of India) is that the tradition of Hindu women covering their heads is rooted in social tradition not Vedic. The Hindus originally adopted the policy to pacify Muslims who considered extreme modesty of women to be a very serious aspect of their religion. It was a conciliation which showed from one side to the other that despite a distinct difference in spiritual tradition, some social compromise can be made to keep peacefulness and coexistence the status quo. This assertion is further evidenced by the fact the tradition becomes less and less prevalent and in many cases completely discarded as one travels toward deeper portions of South India where Muslim invasions were either absent or never as successful as in the North. The generally peaceful cohabitation of these two huge religions within India is truly a nice model for certain other violent, intolerent and unforgiving (so-called) religious cultures making headlines playing "Red Ant versus Black Ant" with one another. Having said all of that I am sure by now there is some specific proceedure and rules governing the practice of women of the Vedic tradition covering their heads but I would contend it is based primarily on social and geographically issues and less on something one might find specifically addressed in the Puranas.

Odd coincidence that just after we as a collective socially bound karmic unit (aka: one nation under God) bomb the living hell out of another similarly collectivized social group, our collective socially bound karmic unit experiences the ravages of not ten or fifty or even one hundred tornados but 298 separate tornados in a single week. In seven days the impersonally labelled "Mother Nature" lobbed what would without doubt be labelled a massive offensive military campaign of destruction if it could be tided to a specific nation or group of terrorists. It would be interesting to see even a vague mathematical equation of how many so-called bombing sorties those tornados would equate to in terms of destructive energy release. I wonder if this represents a mere down payment on a very complicated bill?

Once in a moderate sized village in India there lived a very successful smarta Brahmin. He had been trained from the time of his youth in the various mechanical aspects of Vedic ritual and was thus practically flawless in their execution. Similarly he had been specially schooled in the perfect intonations for the chanting of a seemingly endless stream of mantras and was expert at knowing when and where the appropriate chanting of such mantras should take place. He was always impeccably dressed and even inconsequential movements of his body were choreographed so that even his picking up a piece of paper appeared to the casual observer to be of a ballet like quality. Yet despite so much training and apparent sukrti he was internally simply a showman and an arrogant and even occasionally mean spirited one at that. He would carry on a running internal dialogue with himself during his waking hours silently condemning the pathetic fault ridden positions of nearly ever person he met. He quite fancied that he was most magnanimous to regularly intermix with the "ordinary" populace as they undoubtedly gained tremendous karmic benefit by even a brief encounter with him, thus was his personal estimation of superiority. One afternoon he went to a private spot near the river to take care of the necessary functions of the body and to take his afternoon bath. After doing the needful for the first time ever, quite contrary to his smarta training he turned and glanced at the mound of waste he had just excreted. He quickly turned away, a sneer of revulsion bending the contours of his face when he heard a little voice calling from behind. "Excuse me but could you kindly explain the justification for your immense sense of pride?!" The small voice queried. The Smarta Brahmin turned and saw, to his utter amazement that the voice had emanated from the pile of stool. His befuddlement was just sinking in when the voice continued, "Of course you sneer at my repulsive and disgusting condition but I'll be pleased to remind you that but a few hours ago I was a beautiful thali of wonderful Maha Prasada and now after only a few hours of association with you!, behold the wretched condition I find myself in."

Prior to her current stardom she was one of the defense attorneys in the Kirtanananda/West Virginia disaster. Specifically she represented one Terry Sheldon aka Tapa Punj. Odd karmic "coincidence" that she continues to be within the orbit of the devotees, albeit again, in a most indirect and untypical manner.

Once upon a time in a kingdom in India a king ordered his personal secretary to run some important errands. The servant came back from the city center having not only not completed any of his tasks but shaking with mortal fear. The king inquired about the cause of his dereliction and his disturbed condition. The servant explained that while completing a transaction in the market place he had turned around only to find himself face to face with death personified. At that moment he had dropped everything and rushed back to the palace in hopes of somehow saving himself. The king who was quite affectionate to this particular servant, hatched a plan to both save his man and to deal personally with death personified. He ordered that his strongest steadiest horse be saddled and brought to him. He then instructed the servant "If you ride at full gallop the rest of the day and through the night, by morning you should find yourself in Delhi. There your prospects for secreting yourself from this menace will be greatly improved". The servant offered a flood of sincere thanks, jumped on the horse and rode off with the instructed haste. The king then ordered his strongest team of body guards to accompany him to the market place where he planned to confront death personified about the harassment of his servant. They entered the market and in short order the king and his men found themselves in the company of none other than mortification himself. The king, a monarch's monarch found no time to be impressed and began to chastise death personified as he would his lowest subject. "Through your harassment of my servant you have completely interfered with my personal business today. Furthermore you have set your sights upon a young man who is not only valuable to me, but who is the patriach of a young family. Have you sense of decency?" Death personified remained dignified and polite despite being dressed down in such manner. He replied "I offer my sincere apologies for any inconvience my presence here today has caused you your highness. I honestly had no intentions on your servant, as it is the destiny of another which has called me to your kingdom today. When I saw your servant I was merely quite suprised." "Merely quite suprised by what?" the king retorted. "Merely quite suprised to see him here, you see I have an appointment to see him in Delhi tomorrow."