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Everything posted by 13thMonkey

  1. So I was just looking through the old Life Comes From Life book and at one point Srila Prabhupada says in quotes "Trust No Future, however pleasant." He was explaining how scientists always say "In the future we will..." So I thought that was an interesting quote and looked it up. Its from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow the famous American poet. The full statement is as follows: "Trust no future, however pleasant! Let the dead past bury its dead! Act, - act in the living Present! Heart within and God overhead." It got me to thinking about other phrases Srila Prabhupada would say. For instance, he often quoted Cowper with "God made the country, and man made the town." And of course Napoleon with "Impossible is a word in a fool's dictionary."
  2. From WikiAnswers - About the egyptian lotus flower Why the Egyptian Lotus Flower is Important to the Ancient Egyptians The lotus flower appeared in legends originating from ancient Egypt. It played an important part in ancient Egyptian religion. The pure white lotus flower, the only plant to fruit and flower simultaneously, emerges from the depths of the muddy swamp. Growing from the mud at the bottom of ponds and streams, the exquisite Lotus flower rises above the water and is usually white or pink with 15 or more oval, spreading petals, and a peculiar, flat seedcase at its center. It is a symbol of the sun, of creation and rebirth. Because at night the flower closes and sinks underwater, at dawn it rises and opens again. According to one creation myth it was a giant lotus which first rose out of the watery chaos at the beginning of time. From this giant lotus the sun itself rose on the first day. A symbol of Upper Egypt .The lotus flower played a prominent role in the version of the creation story that originated in Heliopolis. Before the universe came into being, there was an infinite ocean of inert water which constituted the primeval being named Nun. Out of Nun emerged a lotus flower, together with a single mound of dry land. The lotus blossoms opened, and out stepped the self-created sun god, Atum, as a child. A slightly different version of the creation story originated in Hermopolis. In that version, the sun god who formed himself from the chaos of Nun emerged from the lotus petals as Ra. The lotus is a flower which opens and closes each day. His history went on to say that the petals of the lotus blossom enfolded him when he returned to it each night. The Lotus flower has for thousands of years symbolized spiritual enlightenment. Indeed, this flower essence's purpose is to accelerate spiritual evolvement and enhance healing on every level within the system. The blue lotus was found scattered over Tutankhamen's body when the Pharaoh's tomb was opened in 1922. Many historians thought it was a purely symbolic flower, but there may be some reason to believe that ancient Egyptians used it to induce an ecstatic state, stimulation, and/or hallucinations, as well as being widely used as a general remedy against illness, and to this day is used as a tonic for good health, consumed as an extract,. Traditional or Historical Uses Provides a relaxing, euphoric sensation. May help relieve muscle spasms. For some, it may act as an aphrodisiac. Egyptian Blue Lotus is a sedative, antispasmodic, and ethnogen.
  3. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78iSPqGWmWg[url="http://<a href="]
  4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wMFX2JcPY8
  5. I found this article interesting in that the story is very similar to that of Boudica (the first queen of England). The story of Boudica is as follows. She was the queen of the Iceni tribe. When her husband passed away the local Roman rulers decided she would not inherit her husband's estate. They ended up brutalizing her daughters. She then amassed an army and slaughtered the Romans, ultimately dying on the battlefield. Years later she was posthumously crowned the first queen of England. So here is the Indian equivalent. Lakshmibai was the wife of the King of Jhansi. When he died the British rulers decided his adopted son was not sanctioned, and usurped his kingdom. Queen Lakshmibai then assembled an army and fought for her kingdom, ultimately dying in battle. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rani_Lakshmibai Its interesting how what goes around comes around. Very close to the same story, with the Romans brutalizing the English, then the English brutalizing the Indians. I think this story would probably make for a good movie.
  6. Another interesting article: http://www.abc.net.au/rn/science/ockham/stories/s19040.htm [url="http://www.abc.net.au/rn/science/ockham/stories/s19040.htm"]
  7. Then and Now: British Imperial Policy Means Famine by Paul Glumaz The current outbreak of food shortages and famine internationally should come as no surprise to anyone who knows the history of British imperial free-trade policy. To buttress that point, we present here indictments of that policy by two leading statesmen with personal knowledge—Abraham Lincoln's economic advisor Henry Carey, and the founder of modern China, Sun Yat-sen—in addition to this overview article, written in 1991, from the archives of the LaRouche movement. Before Hitler, there was Britain, and the British famine policy in India. As many look with horror at the starvation now being induced in Africa by agencies such as the International Monetary Fund (IMF), the General Agreement on Trade and Tariffs (GATT), and the grain cartels, few know that in a previous century the British pioneered all these techniques in India. What follows is a brief outline of the British famine policy in India from 1764 to 1914, and how the British developed the deliberate use of famine and food control as the principal means of rule. To understand the question of famine in India, one must first start with the fact that India's climate is characterized by the monsoon, in which a region's weather follows the pattern of a dry climate for most of the year; then comes a period of rains, which is the monsoon. At least once in the course of a decade, the monsoon fails to arrive in any given region. Traditional agriculture in India and other countries always planned for this by laying aside foodstocks at the village level, which ensured that there would be adequate food in drought years. The central administrative authority, whether it was a Hindu prince, or the Moghul court, would suspend taxes for that period of economic insecurity. Prior to British rule, it was understood that famine needed to be avoided if the central authority was to have any legitimacy as the ruler of an area. The British changed all this. As B.M. Bhatia writes in his 1967 book, Famines in India: "From about the beginning of the eleventh century to the end of the eighteenth there were 14 major famines in India." This is roughly two per century. Under the period of East India Company rule from 1765-1858 there occurred 16 major famines, a rate eight times higher than what had been common before. Then, under the period of British Colonial Office rule from 1859 to 1914, there was a major famine in India an average of every two years, or 25 times the historical rate before British rule! The rest of the world's population was growing due to technological progress, but the population of India remained at approximately 220 million for over a century prior to 1914. Deliberately inducing a major famine more or less every two years, was, for over half a century, the backbone of British colonial policy in India. The history of the British in India is a history of the deliberate creation of famines. Such famines resulted from the policies of the East India Company. Those policies included looting through "tax farming," usury, and outright slavery of the indigenous population. As we shall see, a limit to this rapine was reached in the middle of the 19th Century, leading to the first struggle for Indian independence, which began with the Sepoy Mutiny. Following that revolt, a new policy was developed by the British Colonial Office, which took over all the operations of the East India Company. The new policy revolved around creating famines in selected regions on a continuous basis, with the goal of creating a mass of starving people who could be used as slave labor, needed by the British to build the infrastructure of British rule. East India Company Rule The British East India Company began the administrative takeover of India in 1764-1765. The company was appointed diwan, or governor, over the area of Bengal by the collapsing Moghul Empire. The British entered India as the administrative rulers and tax collectors of the Moghul court. As tax collectors, the previous supposedly "rapacious" Moghul agents, had collected the marketable equivalent of £818,000 sterling from the area of Bengal. In 1765-66, the first year of East India Company diwanship, the company was able to collect the equivalent of £1,470,000; and by 1790-1791, this figure had risen to £2,680,000. According to Jean Beauchamp's British Imperialism in India, Warren Hastings, the company's chief officer in India, wrote the following to the company's board of directors in London: "Not withstanding the loss of at least one-third of the inhabitants of the province, and consequent decrease in cultivation, net collections of the year 1771 exceeded those of 1768.... It was naturally to be expected that the diminution of the revenue should have kept an equal place with the other consequences of so great a calamity. That it did not was owing to its being violently kept up to its former standard." The great calamity mentioned was perhaps the worst famine in Indian history, which struck the provinces of Bengal, Bihar, and Orissa. It is estimated that no fewer than 10 million perished from starvation. The severity of this famine was a direct result of East India Company looting. Tax Farming What the Company had done to increase the tax revenue was to set up a system of "outsourcing" the right to tax the land. This is what is known as "tax farming." The tax collector had the right to obtain as much tax as he could get, since he had bought these rights at auction. In turn, the one who was taxed, the registered landholder, called zamindari, was allowed to extract whatever he could for himself and for the tax collector from the poor peasant who worked the land. The zamindari, who was subject only to the payment of the company's taxes, essentially had complete power over all the land and all its cultivators. Through this looting system, the Company left nothing in reserve for the times when the monsoons would fail. In addition, little or no maintenance was allowed for the cultivators' infrastructure, such as the irrigation works. The results were horrendous, as more of India's land area came under Company rule. The drain of wealth from India based on a tax-farming system, the destruction of native textile industry by the "free market" dumping of British textiles, and the plantation economy of opium, led eventually to a fierce resistance from the communal based population. This finally led to the Sepoy Mutiny of the zamindaris and others, especially those who lived in areas not totally under Company control. It almost broke the British Empire. In the end, the East India Company was relieved of its rule in India and was replaced by a governor-general, and a colonial administration. The commission which recommended this change concluded that the problem was the lack of a transportation and communications infrastructure, necessary to hold subject such a vast country. Also, the commissioners concluded, there was a need for an Indian ruling class that would function as intermediaries for the British colonialists.[1] Slave Labor Policy Britain's colonial overseers agreed on the need for the development of a rudimentary infrastructure to increase the efficiency of their rule, and looting of India. But the Empire had a problem. The proposed grid of railroads and large-scale irrigation works was too expensive, from the colonialists' point of view. So, the decision was made to force the already plundered Indian population to pay for these development projects. This presented another serious problem. India, at that time, did not have a landless laboring class which could provide a pool of cheap labor for such projects. The caste system of India was all-encompassing. As Bhitia documents, the ritual distribution of goods at the communal level, based on caste and guild relations, made it undesirable for families and individuals to leave this system, especially to become slaves for the British railroad and irrigation projects. The British solution to this problem was "famine relief." To build the railroads, the British set up "famine relief works." A famine would create the condition, such that, faced with certain death from lack of food, an Indian would be forced to "choose" to go to a famine relief center, much like a starving famine victim in Africa would do today. However, once having done this, the individual lost his caste relations and privileges. Then he was told that if he wanted to continue to eat, he must work, building the railroad in exchange for food. At these projects, less than minimum subsistence was the norm, much like a Nazi forced-labor concentration camp. As yesterday's famine victims dropped dead from exhaustion and slow starvation on the railroad or irrigation project, today's famine refugees were making their way into this so-called famine relief system. This system would today be labeled euphemistically, the "recycling" of the work force. With the advent of railways, it became easier for traders to buy up food and other goods when they were cheap, and in some cases, even when costly, and export them to England—much in the same manner as the British let the Irish starve during the potato famine, rather than allow the wheat, barley, and rye grown in Ireland for England to be used to feed the Irish. Under these conditions, the nature of famines and scarcities began to change. Whereas in the past, famine had been a regional phenomenon, under this British policy food became scarce throughout the country, hitting the poorest in a devastating manner. It was these famine-stricken poor who then continued to supply the labor for the relief-works. Rise of Usury The development of the railroads also helped to develop a class of Indian money-lenders, who became the intermediaries for the British. This allowed for the British to control even areas which were not affected by crop failures. Such areas were hit with multiple increases in prices because of the demand placed on their food from other areas of the country. Money-lenders would then sell British goods to Indians at inflated prices, and buy their grain at low prices. Then they would sell that grain at high prices, either on the international market, or back to the same people in times of famine. Since these transactions were carried out largely on a credit basis, vast segments of the population became debt slaves to the money-lenders, if they were fortunate enough to escape having to work on famine relief projects. In addition, the British played this system of debt-slavery off against the traditional caste and guild system, which had never had to deal with such a monstrosity. This system brought to the fore a class of money-lenders who became the power through which the British were able to offset, in part, the resistance within India to their rule coming from the communal base. The spread of famine throughout India can be measured in the expansion of the railroad system. There were 288 miles of rail in India in 1857; 1,599 miles in 1861; and 3,373 miles in 1865. By 1881, there were 9,891 miles; there were 19,555 miles by 1895; and 34,656 miles by 1914. With the expansion of the railroads, and "famine relief" which built the railroads, the exports of food grains rose rapidly. The export of rice grew from 12,697,983 hundred-weight in 1867-68, to 18,428,625 hundred-weight in 1877-78. Wheat exports grew 22-fold during this same period, from 299,385 hundred-weight to 6,373,168 hundred-weight. The criminal nature of this policy is clearly seen, since 1876-78 were major famine years. The export of rice reached 30.3 million hundred-weight, and wheat reached 30.3 million hundred-weight in 1891-92. The worst famine was in 1896-97, which affected 62.4 million people. This resulted, among other things, according to Bhatia, in "civil commotion and unrest in Bombay against continuing exports of food grains from the presidency at a time when the people faced the threat of famine. The government of India, however, refused to change its food policy and steadfastly clung to the view so far held that, 'even in the worst conceivable emergency, so long as trade is free to follow its normal course, we should do far more harm than good by attempting to interfere....' " Does this sound all too familiar? The [George H.W.] Bush Administration has proclaimed a New World Order based on "free trade" and an end to the "restrictions" imposed by national sovereignty. As food and other basic resources increasingly come under the control of Euro-Anglo-American cartels, most of the world is slated to become much like India was under the British. Bush's New World Order is in fact nothing new, and the principal instrument of rule in this new world order is scheduled to be famine, and "famine relief" projects for the victims. If people don't wake up, a day will come when you may lose your cherished low-paying job, and find yourself homeless and on the soup line—only you will be told there's no slop to eat, unless you join a work gang. Slave labor, famine, and government-protected drug lords, like the British East India Company, are to be your masters in this New World Order. It has been done before! Now maybe you will think twice when you view the British Broadcasting Corporation's films of the "glorious days of the British Raj in India" which you see on PBS. British policy in India was nothing less than deliberate genocide. We face the same policy today, this time on a global scale. -- [1] See Eric Stoakes, "Traditional Elites in the Great Rebellion of 1857," and "Some Aspects of Revolt in Uper Doab," in E.R. Leach and S.N. Mukherjee (eds.), Elites in South Asia (Cambridge, 1970).
  8. Make sure to watch the video all the way to the end with sound on....
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  10. A documentary came out recently on the U.S. National Debt. Here is a 30 Minute shortened version definitely worth watching:
  11. Its classic games of politicians. They try to incite anger at some "enemy" and feign some grievances. They are just looking for attention to make themselves feel special. Ignore these guys. Let them rant and rave. What can they do? Devotees will continue to hold their Ratha Yatras and worship the Lord. And they'll keep foaming at the mouth and burning cloth dolls. Who cares? They look like fools - and when a fool acts foolish its best to just sit back and laugh.
  12. Look, I have no problem with the dates issue. Frankly I think its good to have multiple dates and locations so people can attend multiple events. But set that aside, I'd have no problem sticking to a traditional date. EXCEPT..... We have our own temples and deities. Many Iskcon devotees are not allowed in to the Puri temple. Fine. You have your temple. Exclude us and run your festivals the way you see fit. We'll have our temples and run our festivals the way we see fit. They don't want to bring us in, to see us as part of a larger family, then fine. You go your way and we'll go our way.
  13. Something every boyscout should learn: http://www.latimes.com/news/science/la-sci-cows26-2008aug26,0,3764260.story Is there anything a cow can't do? Cheese, lawn care, pointing due North...
  14. It even looks like Brindavan has virtical tilak on his forehead. Hare Krsna!!!
  15. Murali, Its time to put philosophy into practice. Take up the offer and go to India and work the fields. It will be a good learning experience. Without that all your words are simply rubbish. Anyone can sit and talk all day all sorts of philosophy on the INTERNET. Why not do what you say?
  16. Devotees don't need to be removed from the broader community. By setting up a polling station they bring people INTO the temple. There is some minute exposure to Krishna. Some might be further inclined to ask questions. It makes sense to be part of the community. The more we withdraw the fewer outreaches we have. I'm convinced a great deal of the historical growth of Iskcon in the early days was due to the so called "fringies". This was a derogatory term. But honestly, they had just enough connection inside and just enough connection outside, that they could draw outsiders in. It was like filaments extending outwards, drawing energy in. I thought this was a creative and interesting thing they did in Berkeley.
  17. http://www.missworld.tv/bio/bio.sps?iBiographyID=92200 Sai, aka Miss Wales, is in competition right now to win Miss World, the final is on the 30th. We don't have much time. Please text MW222 to 83088 (UK) or 19927362 (aus) or 7827 (India) to vote for her. http://www.missworld.tv/ In America and Canada go to the website and click to vote through email. For other text codes in different countries check the website. Lets make this happen peops! how cool would that be.
  18. A man was sitting in a cafeteria next to a blonde woman who was engrossed in her newspaper. The bold headline read "12 Brazilian Soldiers Killed." She shook her head at the sad news. Then turning to the man she asked, "How many is a Brazilian?"
  19. We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time (Vince Lombardi) Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. (Oscar Wilde) Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go (Oscar Wilde) I would have made a good Pope (Richard M. Nixon) The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows (Aristotle Onassis) Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration (Thomas Alva Edison) History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon (Napoleon Bonaparte) Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake (Napoleon Bonaparte) I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat! (Will Rogers) A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain) The truth is more important than the facts (Frank Lloyd Wright) Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear (Mark Twain) 640K ought to be enough for anybody (Bill Gates) I have never let my schooling interfere with my education (Mark Twain) The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them (Mark Twain) University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small (Henry Kissinger) I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have (Thomas Jefferson) Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers (T. S. Eliot) A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines (Frank Lloyd Wright) If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out? (Will Rogers) Denial ain't just a river in Egypt (Mark Twain)
  20. In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievious. Whenever something went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control them. Hearing about a minister nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the minister to talk with the boys. The father agreed. The mother went to the minister and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent him to the minister. The minister sat the boy down on the other side of his huge, impressive desk. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. Finally, the minister pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, "Where is God?" The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, but said nothing. Again, louder, the minister pointed at the boy and asked, "Where is God?" Again the boy looked all around but said nothing. A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the minister leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy's nose, and asked "Where is God?" The boy panicked and ran all the way home. Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally said, "We are in B-I-I-I-I-G trouble now!" The older boy asked, "What do you mean, B-I-I-I-I-G trouble?" His brother replied, "God is missing and they think we did it."
  21. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear. A cat's urine glows under a blacklight. A cockroach will live nine days without it's head, before it starves to death. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge. A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill. Almonds are a member of the peach family. Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day. Amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first class: $40,000. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour Chances of a white Christmas in New York: 1 in 4. Chances that an American lives within 50 miles of where they grew up: 1 in 2. City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong. Coca-cola was originally green. Did you know that you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider? Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt." Elephants are the only animals that can't jump. (thankfully) Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treasury. Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak. In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes. In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10. It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. (DON'T try this @ home!) John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles. Los Angeles's full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula" - and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size: "L.A." Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable. Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple. On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper left-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner. On average people fear spiders more than they do death. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. Polar bears are left handed. Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Smartest dogs: 1) border collie; 2) poodle; 3) golden retriever. Dumbest dog: Afghan. Some lions mate over 50 times a day. Starfishes haven't got brains. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska. Stewardesses is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand. The Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters. The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes. The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing. The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's A Wonderful Life." The flea can jump 350 times its body length, that is like a human jumping the length of a football field. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched." The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz." The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses. The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross. The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball. There are more chickens than people in the world. There are only four words in the English language which end in "-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. Tigers have stripped skin, not just stripped fur. Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey. When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city. Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Paul Reiser himself. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
  22. Plumber: "We repair what your husband fixed." Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak." At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout." Door of a plastic surgeons office: "Hello, can we pick your nose?" Sign at the psychic's hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you." At a laundry shop: "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?" At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows." Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs." On an electricians truck: "Let us remove your shorts." In a nonsmoking area: "If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." On maternity room door: "Push, Push, Push." At an optometrists office "If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place." On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff." In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels." On a Butchers window: "Let me meat your needs." On a fence: "Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive." At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment." Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary, we hear you coming." Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people." On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman , and the 2nd one just left." In a veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit ! Stay!" At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be." On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte." In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up." Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop." In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait." In a counselors office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.
  23. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." On some Swann frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: "(printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down." On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." On Boot's Children's cough medicine: "Do not drive car or operate machinery." On Nytol sleep aid: "Warning: may cause drowsiness." On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: keep out of children." On a string of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." On a food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: open packet, eat nuts." On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
  24. 1. Take 3 oranges from 5 oranges. How many oranges do you have? 2. How many birthdays does the average child have? 3. You have two coins that total 30 cents. One of the coins is not a nickel. What are the two coins? 4. Pretend there are 8 red socks and 8 green socks in a bag. If you reach in without looking, how many socks would you have to take out to get a pair that is the same color? Answers below . . . . . . 1. 3 Oranges 2. 1 Birthday 3. A quarter and a nickel – one coin is not a nickel the other one is. 4. 3
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