Vanguard

Haribol mataji, It is sad that your parents are trying to impose suitors on you whom you really don't like. In this situation, best to resist as much as possible, put all willpower into this. For a woman especially, a marriage with the wrong man is like hell, like prison. Sometimes you are in a cell, sometimes you are in a gilded cage, like the ones normally inhabited by a beautiful talking bird. Men who don't respect a woman just because they don't have a piece of paper from a material institution are a weird bunch to say the least. I've met plenty of men and women with MA's, MBA's, PhD's, MD's, etc. who might have gotten straight A's, or all 20's, but at the same time they are very stupid. I've also met men and women who have not graduated from secondary school ("high school") who are some of the most intelligent people I've ever known. You need to think about how to support your future, though. While you live with your parents, they will continually try to fix you up with men (and if their idea of who is suitable is quite different from yours, it can only end in a hellish existence). As the years go by, they will do it with more and more intensity, worrying about your age and viability. At the same time, you may also be feeling some desire to be with someone, and that is quite normal. At this point, you may want to think about what you want to do for support in this material world, NOT so a suitor can like you more, but so you never have to rely on any man. Avoid, sanctimonious, ritual oriented, so-called men of religion. Many of them have a very twisted idea of woman's place in society. They will habitually quote from Manu Smriti and Chankaya Pandit, while conveniently avoiding the quotes by Sri Krsna and Bhishma regarding the respectful, and reverential position of women. Many of these religious men may not seem like materialists outside, but see women as their last vestige of material desire, and will thus localize all their desires to be supreme controller upon their wife. With faith in Sri Sri Radha Govinda, prudent planning in your life, and the ability not to be taken in by the sweet talk of a stupid man who may eventually be like an idiot when it's too late to turn back, your life will be successful and all auspicious.

Several souls with glorious qualities fought for the Kauravas; Bhishma, Drona, and Karna, to name a few. I dislike the manner how Bhishma and Drona were defeated in battle, but I know it was all necessary and Krsna's will. Before Bhishma died on his bed of arrows, he gave classes where Krsna Himself was in attendance. Perhaps you'll feel more at peace with Mahabharata if you do not preceive the Battle of Kurukshetra as one of the classical western black and white "good versus evil". Many honorable souls died painfully. Others died that were quite dishonorable. Only those five mahajanas who were with Sri Krsna survived.

Gentlemen, the offering of such an homage as has been arranged this evening to the acaryadeva is not a sectarian concern, for when we speak of the fundamental principle of gurudeva or acaryadeva, we speak of something that is of universal application. There does not arise any question of discriminating my guru from yours or anyone else's. There is only one guru, who appears in an infinity of forms to teach you, me and all others. In the Mundaka Upanisad (1.2.12) it is said: samit-panih srotriyam brahma-nistham tad-vijnartham sa gurum evabhigacchet "In order to learn the transcendental science, one must approach the bona fide spiritual master in disciplic succession, who is fixed in the Absolute Truth." Thus it has been enjoined herewith that in order to receive that transcendental knowledge, one must approach the guru. Therefore, if the Absolute Truth is one, about which we think there is no difference of opinion, the guru cannot be two. The acaryadeva to whom we have assembled tonight to offer our humble homage is not the guru of a sectarian institution or one out of many differing exponents of the truth. On the contrary, he is the jagad-guru, or the guru of all of us, the only difference is that some obey him wholeheartedly, while others do not obey him directly. Abhaya Caranaravinda Prabhu 1936, Bombay (Srila AC Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupad) ------------------- Guru is one. Caita Guru is in the heart. I hope this answers your question.

Your desire to be an item with this girl is based primarily upon preception of beauty and desire to possess beauty immediately. The best thing you can do is have a relationship with a strong foundation of love of the soul. We are all spirit souls, imbued with paramatma, Sri Krsna Himself. So utmost respect and reverance must be there in proper form. So in this spiritual loving mood of the soul, be friends with her. What's wrong with that? Even in a mundane romantic sense, the physical expression of affection is best when one waits a proper amount of time. The period of waiting makes it so much sweeter when it finally arrives. Unfortunately, modern western culture treats it as something expected immediately like a handshake. Just be her friend. If you can't be friends for long, what makes you think you can be friends years, decades later in a very long term relationship? Put the desires aside for even a short time. Eventually, once you are friends for some time, she will either accept you, or not. Either way, in the realm of romantic love, there is pleasure and pain, and as I've said before in other posts like this, unless you want a peaceful, Indian style arranged marriage, you will be feeling lots of pain before finding the romantic relationship you seek. Ultimately, though, you must trust in Sri Krsna that He will provide you with the situation which you need most to go to Him (not necessarily something that makes you desire tyagi life, could be exactly what you wanted if that's what will help you).

Geez, how could I forget prasadam? Helped many an aspiring devotees' parents, including my own

I'm assuming you're "Hindu" (Sanatan Dharma) or Vaishnav, and probably had some prudent long term expectation of eventually marrying a girl of same beliefs, but then somehow finding this one you're attracted to. You can't get hung up over her past boyfriends. Part of this distress you are feeling is based on a valid desire to find a pure, sattvic woman to enter the next ashram with, but the other part of the feeling is based on your desire to be the controller. You cannot control the past. The past has happened, now it's gone. Give this girl a chance, but don't allow yourself to become too attached to her or the idea of a long term relationship until you two have reached a point of mutual understanding of your dreams and expectations versus hers. Perhaps through your association, she will abandon athiesm. Many people found Krsna consciousness and Sanatan Dharma through their significant others. The trick is not to get too preachy, but casually express your beliefs, and eventually through sat sanga, and eventually sadhu sanga, you will see a great change in her, if Krsna wills to reveal Himself to her.

Don't make bets. Just jump in the pool. You want pleasure? Essentially this is what you want, but you cannot have the pleasure without some pain. If you want to find someone nice, you'll have to get jerked around at least a half a dozen times, otherwise you wont really appreciate a stable grhasta life. The most you should do is pray to Sri Krsna for assistance in your endeavors. Bets are a bit much.

If the first "guest" is still reading this, and needs help, there is one passage in a book taken from recordings of Srila Bhakti Raksaka Sridhar Maharaj, that helped me when I was feeling very hard hit by the material energy. In a way, I post this more for myself than anyone, but I'm sure this will help "guest" and everyone else: ------ According to the result of our karma we shall be placed in a particular environment, and we must start our spiritual life from wherever we are placed; we must begin our work of conquering all those samskaras (mundane tendencies) that comprise the mental encasement we are living in. Tat te 'nukampam susamiksamanah. We should not only live in our present position without complaint, but moreover, we shall have to consider it as really necessary for our upliftment. In this way, we have to accept whatever adversities that come to us as the Grace of the Lord. We must cope. With this positive angle of vision of goodness we must think: "This is my real necessity. There is no error in the calculation of the Lord. This test has been extended to me for my benefit. To stand, to face and cross this opposition is my chance to have my progress in life. This test has been given by Krsna to facilitate my progressive life." In the Bhagavatam we are advised to face all adverse circumstances in such an optimistic way. Then very easily and swiftly, we shall cross these walls of misunderstanding, this maya, and we will be liberated, and more -- we will have participation in Krsna consciousness, the life of dedication. Tat te 'nukampam susamiksamano bhunjana evatmakrtam vipakam: "Whatever undesirable I find here is the result of my previous karma, and by the good will of the Supreme, that previous karma is going to be finished. I will be relieved. I will be made fit for higher service to Him, so this has come." That is the advice in Srimad Bhagavatam. Don't quarrel with the environment. Try to be adjusted with it; correct your own ego. Everything is alright. Your ego is demanding some sort of comfort from the environment. That is the cause of this hitch. There's no hitch in the outside, no ailment; but within, your ego creates the problem. That false ego should be dissolved, and the liquid nectar will flow and place you within the highest plane, the plane where there is no complaint. The smooth movement, affectionate movement of the most fundamental plane: your soul will find yourself standing and walking in that plane. And the false friends -- the circumstances we think to be friends but which are really all false -- those false friends will be withdrawn. That is nirguna, the causeless flow of welfare, most fundamental in the Absolute Plane. That is Bhakti proper. Bhakti means seva, service -- Service Divine. That is a causeless wave. The deepest wave, the wave of the deepest plane. That is causeless and that is irresistable. THat means no beginning, no end.Eternal flow. And only my soul can take a stand in that plane and move in harmony with that plane. Katha ganam natyam gamanam. In Sri Brahma Samhita it is mentioned, "All the talks there are as sweet as song; all the movements there are as sweet as dancing." In this way, everything is sweet. That is the harmonious movement plane. In Vrindavan. We have to go back to that home. We have come out with the spirit of colonization in a foreign land, with the bad object of exploitation. For the purpose of exploitation we have come to colonize in this material world, and as a reaction we suffer. All the material coverings must be eliminated, and our person within, the finest ego, must emerge. Within this gross mischievous ego, there is the finer ego, soul. That soul is a child of the higher plane. Srila BR Sridhar Maharaj (text taken from "Inner Fulfillment" pages 22-26)