jyy

i am not sure if what happened can or should only be seen as an impact of a single factor like the rudraksha. it is nice that you recount in detail the incident and are trying to see divine presence in it, but then that presence is omni-present. It could be the good karma of your daughter, for instance ... it may be so many factors that brought that moment together, where rudraksha may have added a positive influence. but seeing it as the only factor on play makes it all owing to one thing - a material thing of sorts and to me it seems it takes away the responsibility from us about reflection on our karma. and takes a little away from seeing the blessings of God.

Thank you for taking the time to write what you did, jyy.

Do you mind sharing your life journey here? it encourages and inspires me when I see people around me able to connect spiritually much more than I am.

... and i must tell you that you too inspired me. to know that there are medical professionals like you who care for their patients and treat them as 'persons'; for whom the moral questions are alive and disturbing to the extent of resulting in spiritual quest is very reassuring and heart warming.

i hope that you keep your humanity intact through your professional practice. your questions, to me, are like answers to the increasing lack of morality in our society.

thanks, jyy

Thank you for taking the time to write what you did, jyy.

Do you mind sharing your life journey here? it encourages and inspires me when I see people around me able to connect spiritually much more than I am.

i hope my ramblings made some sense if not all.

i am sure you will find your direction through all the suggestions and your own thoughts.

Don't delay going to the hospital. The delay will raise more moral dilemmas. Find a way to approach, a person to talk to, who you think will understand. Reporting back is a protocol of sorts you shouldn't miss - you could have got sick, there could have been a personal emergency - so missing the last day is okay and acceptable. You may or may not share the real reason - that is up to you; you are already dealing with the guilt spiritually. But you can go there and make that your last day - a last day with a difference. And get ready for the graduation you have worked towards.

consider me a fellow traveler.

Hi friends,

 

This is my first post so kindly bear with me.

I am in desperate need of help.

Please move to correct forum if this is the wrong.

 

Making the story short...My name is Dhruva (name changed) working as a software developer in Delhi.I have a elder sister age 34.

Our problems started when in year 2000 me and my sister took gurudiksha (spiritual guru gives you some mantra to recite) from asaramji bapu since then my sister is facing vulgar attacks while sleeping (day/night both).I wrote letters to asaram bapu but none were replied, i tried to contact him but you know that these spiritual gurus are larger than life figures so was unable to meet him.Whenever she was attacked she saw before attack a old man wearing white cloths (now i suspect that it was asaram himself).Nature of attack as she told my mother was that she was literally raped.

The locality we are living, some aghoris (spiritual people who worship in hindu cremation ground) come once in a year to do some yagna and bhandara (give food to hundreds of people in the name of god).They always come to my house also and my father use to give them some money and food to eat.I did my engineering 2000-2004 so for these 4 years i was not at home.When after completing my engineering I returned home, all of suddden my father fell ill and within span of six months he was dead.

Just 6-7 months before my father's dead a tantrik (he is of age 70-75 so we believed him to be good person--let's call him psp) appeared in our life and he told us that all attacks my sister facing was because of asharamji bapu and because of the lord shiv mantra he gave to my sister ...he then asked my sister to start worshipping goddess durga.

Aghoris also appeared at the same time and they asked my sister to worship lord shiv and told her that since last 20 years they are coming to our locality just because of her (she is some divine soul who is cursed and thats why she is facing those vulgar attacks...as told by them) my sister strictly refused them and started worshipping goddess durga,since then till today frequency of attacks has been decreased but after that many persons (3-4 new tantriks,one maulvi-muslim priest) have approached her and asked to recite shiv mantra but whenever she does shiv japa she faces vulgar attack.

There is one thing common in all persons whom we met, they told us that one single man /group is behind all this conspiracy and they will never let my sister marry or live normal life and she has to suffer(we don't know why), they also told that main villain is the tantrik who told my sister to worship goddess durga (we also know that he is not a very good person and he is also taking some spiritual benefits from my sister but we don't know what to do)

I have writtent letters to many so called spiritual gurus but 90% of time i don't receive any reply so thats why i tried to make the story short.i am writing this because last night also she was vulgarly attacked.

Description off attack as she told me:- at night during 2:30 she wake up and after drinking water she again tried to sleep but in her unconscious state she saw that a black shadow(a male figure) appeared and poured cold water allover her body and then he hugged her from behind placing her hands on her breast she cried and wake up and since this attack she is feeling pain in all her body.She is suffering strong cold as well.

So this person Mr.psp sometimes he speaks in my sister's mind that he is the only helper and sometimes he says that he is the only villain and he is doing this because my sister refused to have an affair with a guy (name of the guy was chaitanya) and it is on his order he is doing these vulgar attacks.We always try to avoid this man but somehow conditions become critical and we have to go to him (because no body else is ready to help)

Can you please give me some direction.I don't know what to do, being a brother it is my responsibility to protect her but how can i prevent these attacks which occur while she is sleeping i don't know may be you can give me some help at least show us some way (i will follow any path if that helps my sister).

And yes we have faced many paranormal things i have written only 10% of my story so please don't consider it some mental problem or some disease.

 

Thanks

Hi Dhruva,

you are taking on a good responsibility as a brother and i can see your despair.

the situation may be a combination of things in context of your family and your sister. i would suggest to step back and look at things from an angle other than only the events/ aspects you mention in your mail/s.

though the presence of guru/aghori's and such so-called religious aspects seems prominent, it may not exhaust the reasons or the solution of what is going on.

to take a spiritual quest is good. along with that, i would say use a scientific, logical lense (which si not devoid of spirituality or faith).

Understand what other things are going on -

socially, emotionally for you all and your sister.

i would also consider consulting a good astrologer - i believe astrology if taken as a scientific measure, can be helpful; it is based on cosmic positions and calculations and to that extent, explains part of what's going on. Check out the SJC website, they have an on-going online discussion list, where you can register and post your query and may be someone will help. they also have an office in delhi for consultation. it is a spiritually based astrology group and have a different approach.

Talk to your sister and be her friend and encourage her to think broadly about her recurring dreams/visions. Consider contacting 'sanjivani', a counselling group in defense colony in delhi. look for ways to support her through this trauma in ways that do not lead to paths that seem unresolvable. marrigae is a concern, an issue for women in india. reiterate her confidence in herself as a person and let her find meaning in what she is doing. is she a professional person? doing a job or pursing education? help her find a new thing to do or encourage her to join a spiritual group herself.

a lot of the times what we consider religious is not spiritual. the essence of peace, growth is within and often outside the confines of a single group. encourage her to begin to volunteer at some place - teach children or help the disabled or anything. what are her interests? if you enocurage her to write, or if you share some of this information here, i may be able to suggest more things.

take care, peace, jyy

As some others have suggested, a lot of power exists in the mind. a positive energy at this time is vital for you, your family and your sister.

the only thing i feel this heaviness on my chest is not being able to save the life of a patient which i was supposed to do but was helpless to do so. a very anemic patient under my care should have lived if we gave her blood transfusion but couldn`t because she was a jehovah`s witness. their religion wont allow them blood transfusion.

Hi there again,

this is long mail/response, hope you are not bored with it....

didn't i say that this is not confusion. it is a valid reason to be in dilemma for such a complex situation. up to my understanding, there are more than one things here to be think about, though they are connected for sure.

Directly, the event relates to medical ethics and your role as a professional. i appreciate your being torn in this situation. Patient-centered care and decision making is not easy when competing need to be considered. What you faced there was a lot of things - (1) the clinical condition of the patient (2) the medical possibility of saving life (3) barriers to it - including the religious faith-related issues of the client herself (4) and the responsibility on the providers to take a decision regarding her care-plan.

NOW -

as far as taking consent of the patient is an ethical medical procedure and you did that, you did your duty.

your feeling that a life could be save emanates out of your clinical understanding that blood transfusion was a solution.

BUT - if the patient's belief was taken into account, then this is a matter of conflicting ethical contexts.

Sometimes there are professional codes that take precedence, which it did. We are then left with fighting the other sense of responsibility or ethical questions like what you are facing.

these questions are part of your profession. there may be situations where you did all you can and still not be able to save life.

i think the thing to consider is what is your ethical base -professionally and spiritually and they are connected. it may be related to a religious or spiritual base. and defining or finding it is an on-going process.

in this situation, i ask again that you think - what is it that disturbs you?

were you able to do what you can within the limits of your role and responsibility?

it you did, then lighten-up. reason it out in parts.

I believe you were a part of the team. then was the decision a team decision? what were the issues you all took into consideration? did you say what you felt was right?

And again, why did you not go on the last day?

- was it because you felt helpless and could not face the fact of losing one person in the face of such a difficult situation?

- or was there something you could have done and did not?

These are two different situations. both are burdensome. but the way through them is different.

i would say, do not feel guilty out of the turn. take responsibility for what it is logically. own it and take steps to resolve it to the ethical contentment.

this will include going back and contacting your colleagues. your fears about them thinking bad about you may be unfounded. for all you know, they may be worried about you. Remember that as a senior resident, you must be a role-model for your juniors and your seniors will have so much faith in you and hopes from you. it will be good to go back and meet. may be others have similar thoughts - this will be a somewhat common scenario in a health/medical profession or any profession that deals with people directly, because we are able to make a direct impact on people's lives. the thing to remember is this point where you are, of honesty of intervention and honesty of intent.

I would suggest you go back and set an example of having a real dilemma and working through it with professional and personal integrity and having the courage to return back to the work you love. This is just a milestone my dear, not a road block.

This is a great moment for you come out a winner - these are REAL situations in your profession dear.

Now on the spiritual front -

often, it is situations like these that compel us to think about the other/bigger realities of our universe. there is no right or wrong time to come to it and there is no point in blaming your parents. may be they tried to keep it open and modern for you for a different upbringing. ... anyways. you are an adult and can decide where to go.

regarding your search for a mentor/guru - i do not know if there can be one person or a faith - it may happen eventually that you find one path, one person to lead you. my experience is that with the kind of intellect we develop and the kind of questions a lot of us face, our search is an on-going thing. it will be good to start somewhere, for sure, like looking at the Bhagwat Gita study circles or finding various analysis of the Gita. Read some books like 'autobiography of the yogi'. depending on where you live, find a place that offers possibity of spiritual growth, for example, chinmaya-ashram or study circles. and begin to find what are the questions you have, what is your search. once you connect with right kind of people, places, you will reach the right person you can take as your guru.

For you to have reached this point is really good. it takes courage to do what you are doing. so you have already taken the most difficult step. you have to be proud of yourself to share it all and to accept it. i do hope that you continue to share your journey here.

cheers, jyy

Hi there, ... i dont think you are confused. you are thinking. and that is not a bad thing.

you may have to accept the thought/s that led you to not go to work on the last day. it has to be something strong and deep and an outcome of a long process.

what did the training mean to you?

what does not going mean to you?

it is certainly NOT a sin or misdeed. it is just a place you have landed, that perhaps you are unable to analyze with your scientific self.

for a person as committed as you, as intelligent and hard working, it does not surprise me that you may have such strong moments. instead of being disturbed, or confused, analyze, using different way than you are used to. often we get so hung-up by our professional selves that we mistake it as our real, bigger, fuller self. this is just a call from the remaining you. you have to listen to it first and then accept and share if you want to continue to talk.

and i hope you do.

take care, you are a starting another journey it seems.

so open up your thoughts and lets talk.