atma

Anybody can provide the purport in the Bhagavatam where Srila Prabhupada said that sons are like the mothers? I think is in the Third Canto in the chapter of Devahuti marrying Kardama Muni. Prabhupada elaborates about compatibility in marriage and how a 'deva' boy shouldn't marry a 'rakshasa' girl and how important the character of the wife is because the sons will be like her. I guess that is genetics from the mother side. I agree that not only genetics play a part here, environment counts a lot and more than that what the children learn when they are little. Always come to mind the songs that we learned when we were little, for me most of them are silly but I do remember very well all the prayers that I learned with my grandma and how I had to kneel in front of a picture of Jesus and Mary every evening before going to bed and pray to them. For the devotee children even though some of them maybe alienated from the Society where they born, they will always remember what they learned (ok, the bad things too) But in general most of them have positive experiences and they always say that the frienships that they developed there last for a lifetime and somehow or other they always remember the Lord. Another thing that I noticed around here, just thinking of 5 gurukuli guys in the block, 4 of them are celibate, tell me about training from chilhood.

Mother of Six A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night they go to a party. The man decides that it`s time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of six?" His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts back. "Anytime you`re ready, Father of Four.

I got this from a friend, maybe the military can use the advice. Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally. Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble. We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing to lose. We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all! We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem. Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare. Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help! Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.

What about children born to the same parents and they have completely different nature? How genetics play a role there?

I love bitter melon, I'm better than a Bengali in eating them. Karela subji or just fry and salted they are like simply wonderfuls for me too. What about neem subji? During prasadam time all the bengalis ate it like nectar, I ate it because I knew was good for health and that's it. Later on I got used to eat neem leaves after prasada for a better digestion and to purify the blood. Hardly any mosquitos attacked me after neem leaves for dessert.

In Mayapur during summer time most of the devotees got boils because of eating food that overheat their bodies. Mangos are so sweet and cheap that everybody ate tons of them, especially the gurukulis (they got them for free from the mango groves in the gurukula) and they got the most horrible boils that I ever saw. Boils with 6 heads on the knees, boils in the armpit, that devotee couldn't put down his arm, boils in the back side (they could't seat). I never got boils in India, we always put the mangos in the fridge or cool water before eating them (not so much electricity in Mayapur) and drank lots of green mango juice that it is very cooling. Came here and got this boil in my stomach that I still got the scar to show, and no, I didn't eat any mangos here, my guess is that you get boils because your body is overheated and try to get rid of the toxins and impurities in the form of boils.

Around 10 years ago I had the chance of going with Maharaj in a preaching tour in Malaysia. It was really nice and we had wonderful programs. We left Kuala Lampur in a car driven by him and the brahmacaris followed us in a van. Every day we stopped in a beach, river, water fall or whatever was there to take a nice bath and cool down from the heat and humidity of Malaysia. We reached the host's house just for lunch and we had wonderful kirtanas and classes in the evenings. Sleep there and next morning drive to next destination. He was really nice to me, the only woman plus with a baby and he always made sure that I had a place where to rest, bathe and eat. Actually my husband wanted to leave me behind and when I made a long face for the prospect of been left alone in a temple that I hardly knew anyone, Maharaj said: bring her and the baby along! No problems at all. I had the nicest pictures of him playing mridanga in a kirtana with my daughter sitting in the mridanga!! Others of him carrying her on his shoulders or playing with her. We went to Butterworth, Pennang and other towns that I don't remember the names and I had the time of my life. It was a really nice experience and he is a very nice gentleman that took care of us more that my husband did without compromising his sannyasa. He makes you feel part of a family, a devotee family and that everybody can contribute in Srila Prabhupada's mission.

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway, it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. ...... He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off! Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up! Remember these simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred. 2. Free your mind from worries. 3. Live simply. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less.. 6. SMILE Have a great day!!!!

Breaststroke There was a competition to cross the English Channel doing only the breaststroke. Just three women entered the race: a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. After approximately 14 hours the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest breaststroker . About 40 minutes later the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared to be the second place finisher. Nearly 48 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms."

Philosophy from Charles Schultz This is a great way to get a new day started -- it puts things in proper perspective. Take this quiz: 1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world. 2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners. 3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest. 4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize. 5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress. 6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners. How did you do? The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners. Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one: 1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school. 2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time. 3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile. 4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special. 5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with. 6. Name half a dozen heroes whose stories have inspired you. Easier? The lesson? The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care. Pass this on to those people who have made a difference in your life. P.S. "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." -- Charles Schulz

I remember a book in India compiled by Gayatri Devi Vasudev, the daughter of B.V. Raman with the predictions of different astrologers about the Third World War where they said about the destruction of Israel and the Middle East within few years. Maybe JNDas can have a look at the book??

It happened to me too, normally if I slept during the day or after Mangal Aratik. From my experience it has nothing to do with the separation of the mind and body, it was really ghostly. Chanting in the mind helped. Once I was trying so hard to chant to get rid of it and some devotee put one of Prabhupada's tapes and the beautiful sound came through the window and all anxiety was gone. You get desesperate trying to breathe and get rid of the weight in your chest. Once in Vrindavan in Khilan's house I had this really bad experience and I saw this hairy hand, really freaky, a few weeks later in my city I saw the same thing. Great the ghost followed me! Going to sleep with Prabhupada's bhajans and Srimad Bhagavatam in the pillow got rid of everything. Another freaky experience in Vrindavan was when my kid was a baby and we were sleeping in the Guest House and she woke up crying in the middle of the night. She was terrified and nothing could stop her from screaming. The really scary part was that her eyes were different,really weird. A security guard came to tell me that I had to move because everybody was complaining. In the middle of the night I had to move to some room in the back with a possesed baby! Two matajis came with me and we chanted the Nrisimha prayers and Nrisimha kavaca to the baby and finally she went to sleep. It took a while though. They told me that in Vrindavan the ghosts are really strong because they are brahmana rakshasas. Many devotees told me the experiences there. Guru Kripa's girl couldn't sleep properly for few nights in the Radha Raman temple and nothing helped until a Vrajabasi told them to keep a knife under her pillow to get rid of the ghost. It worked. No problems after that. In another temple I had a funny one that used to pull the end of my sari while I was cooking the evening offering and nobody was there because the temple president instructed me to keep the door close all the time because I was the only woman with 25 brahmacharis and better if I wasn't seen or heard. I guess the ghost came to give me company. More ghost stories: in another temple that was really haunted this living entity walked on the walls! You could hear the steps, up and down the walls and IT loved to spy in the matajis while taking showers. You could feel the presence of something on top of the window, so much so that once one of the ladies run out of the bathroom with the hair full of shampoo, scared to death. Many of us felt it and it wasn't a brahmachari because the window was too high for anyone to be up there. More ghost stories later for Gauracandra to have sweet dreams. In my country, today the 1st, is the Day of the Death and everybody goes to the cementeries and fix the graves, put flowers, etc. Tomorrow is the day of the Saints and everybody goes to church and worship them. For us, last night was Rasaleela and the beginning of Kartika. Today morning we took the sweet rice maha-prasada from Sri Sri Radha-Krsna. What a nice culture! We are singing the prayers for Lord Damodara and asking the Lord to let us always remember His childhood pastimes. rudantam muhur netra-yugman mrijantam karambhoja-yugmena satanka netram muhuh svasa-kampa-trirekanka kantha sthita-graiva-damodaram bhakti-baddham Upon seeing His mothers's whipping stick, He cried and rubbed His eyes again and again with His two lotus hands. His eyes were fearful and His breathing quick, and as Mother Yasoda bound His belly with ropes, He shivered in fright and His pearl necklace shook. To this Supreme Lord, Sri Damodara, who is bound with His devotee's love, I offer my humble obeisances. varam deva moksam na moksavadhim va na canyam vrne'ham varesad apiha idam te vapur natha gopala-balam sada me manasya avirastam kim anyaih O Lord, although You are able to give all kinds of benedictions, I do not pray to You for liberation, nor eternal life in Vaikuntha, nor any other boon. My only prayer is that your childhood pastimes may constantly appear in my mind. O Lord, I do not even want to know Your feature of Paramatma. I simply wish that Your chilhood pastimes may ever be enacted in my heart.

The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask >first and correctly can leave early today." > >Little Johnny says to himself, "Good, I want to get >outta here. I'm clever & that answer's mine!" > >The teacher asked, "Who said Four Score and Seven >Years Ago?" Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie >said, "Abraham Lincoln." The teacher said, "That's >right, Susie, you can go." Johnny was mad. Susie had >answered first. > >The teacher asked, "Who said, I Have a Dream?" Before >Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, "Martin Luther >King." The teacher said, "That's right, Mary, you can >go." Johnny was even madder than before. Mary had >answered first. > >The teacher asked, "Who said Ask not, what your >country can do for you?" Before Johnny could open his >mouth, Nancy said, "John Kennedy." > >The teacher said, "Thats right, Nancy, you can go." > >Johnny was fuming. Nancy had answered first. As the >teacher sat down, Johnny muttered, "I wish these >witches had kept their mouths shut." > >The shocked teacher asked, "Who said that?" > >Johnny jumped up and hollered, "Bill Clinton! See you >Monday!"

During my first winter in India I got sick and the doctors didn't know what it was. They said malaria but it wasn't because they were no mosquitoes around at the time. For a week I was with high fever, chills and completely down. A brahmin from South India showed up in my house and he told my husband to give me crushed tulasi with honey. Nobody wanted to crush tulasi, finally a friend did it after he said LOUD MANY times that he won't pay the reaction for crushing tulasi ( he passed the karma to my ex). They gave me one spoonful and all the fever and sickness was gone within few hours. It was very clear for most of us that was wrong to take tulasi as medicine but we did it as emergency and they used maha prasada. Many ayurvedic medicines have tulasi as one of the ingredients and as far as I know most of the devotees avoid them. The devotees take tulasi that comes along with charanamrita and the maha water and get all the spiritual and material benefit every day. Interestingly, last night my Russian neighbour came to my door asking me if I can take care of his tulasi plants because he is leaving for Vrindavan for Kartika. Blessings coming to our house! I hope that I can take nice care of her. Years ago, a brahmacari saw that some insects were eating tulasi devi and he sprayed it with some poison without asking anybody. next morning to our shock all the tulasi plants were dead. Within few days the same brahmachari was struck with a disease that left him completely paralyzed and mentally ill. He couldn't even remember the Gayatri mantra anymore. All the devotees helped him and slowly he recovered and he took it as a reaction to his offenses, especially against Tulasi Devi. [This message has been edited by atma (edited 10-29-2001).]

Love A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think: 1. "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." -Rebecca- age 8 2. "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." -Billy- age 4 3. "Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." -Karl- age 5 4. "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." -Chrissy- age 6 5. "Love is when someone hurts you. And you get so mad but you don't yell at them because you know it would hurt their feelings." -Samantha- age 6 6. "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." -Terri- age 4 7. "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." -Danny- age 7 8. "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss." -Emily- age 8 9. "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." -Bobby- age 5 10. "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate." -Nikka- age 6 11. "Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no" -Patty- age 8 12. "When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more." -Matthew- age 7 13. "There are two kinds of love. Our love. God's love. But God makes both kinds of them." -Jenny- age 4 14. "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." -Noelle- age 7 15. "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." - Tommy - age 6 16. "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." -Cindy- age 8 17. "My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." -Clare- age5 18. "Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." -Elaine- age 5 19. "Love is when mommy sees daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." -Chris- age 8 20. "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." -Mary Ann- age 4 21. "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." -Lauren- age 4 22. "I let my big sister pick on me because my Mom says she only picks on me because she loves me. So I pick on my baby sister because I love her." -Bethany- age 4 23. "Love cards like Valentine's cards say stuff on them that we'd like to say ourselves, but we wouldn't be caught dead saying." -Mike- age 8 24. "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." -Karen- age 7 25. "Love is when mommy sees daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." -Mark- age 6 26. "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." -Jessica- age 8 27. "Love is that first feeling you feel before all the bad stuff gets in the way." -Charlie- age 5

Got this from a friend in India.... Actually it was a very far out tour. I went to Tirupati in the south and took darshan of Balaji. Quick story. " in Tirumala (the temple of Balaji) they have large cloth sacks hanging down which serve as donation boxes. The top of the "box" is about 7 feet up and people put their donations of money, gold, jewelry etc into the sack. This simple couple lifted up their small boy to have him get the benefit of making the offering and the boy wriggled around and they accidentally dropped him in the sack. They told the pujari who responded that generally anything that goes in the hundi is Balaji's property. The couple was not thrilled with this idea so it was taken to "higher ups" who also confirmed that they were sorry but 'anything that goes in the box becomes the property of the Lord and the temple will take responsibility to raise the boy under the Lord's protection. Well, the couple finally surrendered and while they were returning to their town they had a fatal car accident. Balaji is famous as a deity who fulfills all desires and I would definitely go south again just to get his darshan and mercy. From there it was eventually on to Bombay in the wonderful asssociation of the chowpatty devotees for Janmast. Then on to Vraj which is always indescribably wonderful and Krsna filled. Then up to Badrinath. It is a hard 12 hour bus ride from Rishikesh but it is a nice holy place. The highlite was visiting Vyasa's cave. Very peaceful and beautiful atmosphere. That is where the Sarasvati begins. Very sublime atmosphere. Then on to Nepal where we hooked up with Aishvarya. The Katmandu temple is very beautifully situated at the bottom of very green large hills with waterfalls cascading. Very nice location. The trek to Muktinath was really far out. Many breathtaking scenes and i even swam in the rivers a few times. I'd definitely do it again. Muktinath is holy to both buddhists and hindus and the area and gardens around the temple had a VERY sanctified feel to them. Very much untouched by commercialism. Just really quiet and it felt like the hermitage or even burial ground of holy sages. All along the way to Muktinath we were chomping on fresh crunchy apples which grow in abundance. Amazing how the scenery changed from subtropical to Arizona deserty in the course of travelling from on valley to another.

I got this from a friend: KRISHNA'S MEDITATIONS I believe I confessed last year to having started collecting early editions of Srila Prabhupada's books and early ISKCON memorabilia. My collection is small by most measures, but it includes some real treasures. The latest edition arrived this afternoon, a 1974 LP recorded by Srila Prabhupada, "Krishna Meditations". Appropriately, the front and back cover show Srila Prabhupada in contemplative moods. The Lord's pure devotees are always meditating on Krishna through their desires, thoughts, words and actions. Krishna tells Arjuna in Bhagavad-gita (8.7), "Therefore, Arjuna, you should always think of Me in the form of Krishna and at the same time carry out your prescribed duty of fighting. With your activities dedicated to Me and your mind and intelligence fixed on Me, you will attain Me without doubt." Lord Caitanya taught His followers to chant the Hare Krishna mantra as our primary form of meditation. “One should chant the holy name of the Lord in a humble state of mind, thinking oneself lower than the straw in the street; one should be more tolerant than a tree, devoid of all sense of false prestige and ready to offer all respect to others. In such a state of mind one can chant the holy name of the Lord constantly.” So, then, devotees always meditate upon Krishna. But what does Krishna think about? While in Dvaraka, Krishna carried out the duties of a perfect householder. He would rise each morning, bathe and perform meditation. Because He wanted to set the example for human beings whose duty is to meditate upon the Supreme Lord, Krishna meditated upon Himself! But is that what He's really thinking about? Who would want to worship a God who is self-absorbed, who only thinks about Himself? Earlier in the Bhagavatam, we get some insight into the real object of Krishna's meditation. As children, Krishna and His brother Balarama would create all kinds of mischief for the housewives of Vrindavana. The boys would sneak into the neighbors' homes and steal butter, yogurt and milk. The monkeys would often join Them on these adventures and the Lords would feed the monkeys so much butter, yogurt and milk that they couldn't stand anymore. The gopis would try to hide their stock in a dark room or hang it high overhead, but the self-effulgent Krishna and Balarama would almost always find it. The few times They were foiled, Krishna and Balarama took revenge by pinching the babies in the house, or sometimes they'd spit or urinate on the clean floor. If any of our children ever did this at a neighbor's home, there'd be hell to pay. But the gopis experienced the highest bliss witnessing and speaking of Krishna and Balarama's mischief! Sometimes the neighbor ladies would go to Yasoda and Rohini to lodge "complaints" in front of little Krishna and Balarama. The gopis relished talking about Krishna's bad behavior, and they loved drinking in Krishna's innocent smile as they described what He had done. Krishna and Balarama were not at all ashamed. Srila Prabhupada reports the gopis' statements in Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, "'All day He simply makes arrangements to steal our butter and yogurt, and now He is sitting just like a very silent good boy. Just see His face.' When mother Yasoda thought to chastise her boy after hearing all the complaints, she saw His pitiable face, and smiling, she did not chastise Him." The gopis herein reveal the Lord's greatness, "All day He simply makes arrangements to steal our butter and yogurt..." In other words, Krishna is always meditating upon His devotees and how to increase their love for Him!! Krishna says that He reciprocates with His pure devotees who always think of Him, “The devotees are always in My heart, and I am always in the hearts of the devotees. The devotee does not know anything beyond Me, and I also cannot forget the devotee. There is a very intimate relationship between Me and the pure devotees. Pure devotees in full knowledge are never out of spiritual touch, and therefore they are very much dear to Me.” Krishna is called madhu, sweet. The sweetness of a person is exhibited by their submission to the affections and desires of their loved ones. Krishna, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, is so sweet that He becomes a butter thief to bring pleasure to the cowherd ladies of Vrindavan. But what about us? We are trying to cultivate remembrance of Krishna, but we are easily distracted: pressing deadlines at work, family obligations, illness, world events divert our attention. Will Krishna remember us? Srila Prabhupada states (Srimad Bhagavatam 8.3.17 purport) that the Lord is looking after the welfare of all beings, devotees and nondevotees: "Only Krishna can deliver us from this material existence. Indeed, He is always trying to deliver us. Isvarah sarva-bhutanam hrd-dese ’rjuna tisthati [bg. 18.61]. He is within our hearts and is not at all inattentive. His only aim is to deliver us from material life. It is not that He becomes attentive to us only when we offer prayers to Him. Even before we offer our prayers, He incessantly tries to deliver us. He is never lazy in regard to our deliverance. Therefore this verse says, bhuri-karunaya namo ’layaya. It is the causeless mercy of the Supreme Lord that He always tries to bring us back home, back to Godhead. God is liberated, and He tries to make us liberated, but although He is constantly trying, we refuse to accept His instructions (sarva-dharman parityajya mam ekam saranam vraja [bg. 18.66]). Nonetheless, He has not become angry. Therefore He is described here as bhuri-karunaya, unlimitedly merciful in delivering us from this miserable material condition of life and taking us back home, back to Godhead." When the soul somehow turns to Krishna, the Lord remembers (Adi Purana): sraddhaya helaya nama ratanti mama jantavah tesam nama sada partha vartate hrdaye mama "O Arjuna, listen attentively! When the living entity chants My name, whether out of devotion or indifference, then his name will remain forever in My heart. I will never forget such a soul." Thus we can be assured that Krishna is always thinking of us. The more we meditate upon Krishna, the more He will meditate upon us, nurturing our devotion.

Did you see the toilet paper with Osama's face on it?

The best idea yet! >As for what to do with Osama bin Laden: > >Killing him will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will only >inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release. > >Therefore, I suggest we do neither. > >Let the Special Forces, Seals or whatever, covertly capture him, >fly him to an undisclosed hospital and have surgeons quickly >perform complete sex-change operation. > >Then we return "her" to Afghanistan to live as a woman under the >Taliban.

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands. This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other. DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? DANGEROUS: Are you wearing THAT? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: Wow! Look at you! DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: Could we be overreacting? SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars. DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left. SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine (milk) with that? DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day? SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo today. SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe. _____________ TOP 14 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR: Pass My Shotgun Psychotic Mood Shift Perpetual Munching Spree Puffy Mid-Section People Make Me Sick Provide Me with Sweets Pardon My Sobbing Pimples May Surface Pass My Sweatpants Pissy Mood Syndrome Plainly; Men Suck Pack My Stuff Permanent Menstrual Syndrome

The Maid A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid.", answered the woman. "We don't have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm...she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she's with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?" "Uh.. is this 832-4821?"

Dear Friends- Excuse my presumption that you may be interested in the following- I thought it was a thought provoking view worthy of consideration.... It was written by an associate living in India- Steve Forbes. Steve- Here's a piece I wrote this morning. Yesterday afternoon a fidayeen suicide car bomber drove his van into the State Legislature of the Indian state of Jammu and Kashmir killing at least twenty-seven innocent people. When the bomb went off, other terrorists went into the legislature building itself with automatic weapons and fought a protracted gun battle with security officers. The visual media showed pictures of about a dozen bloodied, mangled bodies, some scattered around the compound, others laid neatly side by side in a row of six. Everywhere one could see, on the premises of the State Assembly, there were sandbag barricades as well as hundreds of security personnel. The suicide attack was bold and daring. A Pakistani based terrorist group with a self avowed connection with Taliban (read ISI), called the Jaish-e-Muhammad, took credit for the slaughter. This was the very same terrorist group that executed the highjack of an Indian Airlines flight IC-814 from Kathmandu to Delhi in 1999. At that time, the five highjackers had the plane fly to KANDAHAR, Afghanistan, where the TALIBAN negotiated the release of the leader of the Jaish-e-Muhammad, Maulana Masood Azhar, and two others in the outfit from an Indian prison, in return for the safety of the innocent passengers on that ill-fated flight. The highjackers and the leaders of the Jaish-e-Muhammad returned to Pakistan to hero's welcomes. Maulana Masood Azhar has since appeared in numerous public rallies in Pakistan, calling on Muslims to join the jihad. CNN and BBC devoted two minutes and thirty seconds to the terrorist act, describing the perpetrators as Islamic MILITANTS and Kashmiri freedom fighters. Neither CNN nor BBC named the terrorist organization, nor referred to them as 'terrorists'. CNN described about a dozen casualties, BBC didn't give a number. There were no pictures of sobbing wives or husbands or mothers or sons, no interviews with those who witnessed the carnage. The reportage was matter-of-fact, and showed no sense of outrage. CNN followed these two and a half minutes with a ten minute piece on the possible ill effects of asbestos on the rescue workers in New York. This was not a bomb in a marketplace or disco, this was the state legislature, the seat of government and democracy. George Bush had described one of the motives of the WTC terrorists in America as wanting to "take away our freedom," while CNN/BBC described the terrorists in Kashmir as 'freedom fighters'. It is good to know which of the murderers are fighting AGAINST freedom, and which of them are fighting FOR freedom. We wouldn't want to get on the wrong side. Finally, someone has come closer to defining 'terrorism' and the 'war on terrorism'. Let's take our hats off to CNN and BBC, because they have made one of the first definitive moves in making these definitions. They describe the attack on the State Legislature as 'militancy', not 'terrorism'. I assume then that when Indian citizens are murdered by self appointed executioners with a political/religious agenda it is not terrorism, but militancy. When this happens in the United States, it is terrorism. Then, I could further conclude that the 'war on terrorism' means the war on those people that do this to the United States, but not on those that do it to OTHER people. Jaswant Singh, India's Foreign Minister, is in the United States for the 5 day United Nations conference on terrorism. George Bush called an impromptu 40-minute meeting with Singh, in which I wonder if he didn't warn Singh, in no uncertain terms, against India 'responding' to this attack in any way. I would hope that CNN/BBC would be just a tad more subtle as an instrument of propaganda for the U.S. government. I would think that they would attempt to provide at least a facade of independence. This morning, CNN has not mentioned the event even once in the last couple of hours. CNN/BBC are partners with the US government in selling the 'War on America's Enemies' as the 'War on Terrorism' to the world. In India, there are very few that are buying this. Bush and America are severely discredited, but remain the world's sole superpower, and therefore through sheer bully-power are able to get the Indian government and others to 'follow orders'. One of the many questions that people in this part of the world are asking is "who IS making the orders?" It is beyond obvious that Bush has nowhere near the intellectual skills to even understand what's happening, let alone know what to do, and Cheney, Powell, Rumsfeld are perceived to be executors rather that strategists. The fall of the Taliban has already been discounted. They are the pawn of Pakistan's ISI (military intelligence) and are being held out to the Americans as the sacrificial goat. As the Americans 'created' Osama bin Laden in the 80's so they have 're-created' him today. We will never know who perpetrated the heinous act on the WTC (although we DO know who committed the terror in Kashmir), regardless of what we are led to believe. The case against the Taliban and Osama is absurd, even if the world would be a much better and safer place without them. What is being hidden by all this? America has a perfect right to defend itself, and to deal with whoever attacked the Pentagon and the WTC. But there is much more happening here, and we are being sold a bridge. SR

In vrindavan you can go to cyber cafes for Rs 15 an hour, if you take a laptop, cross to Bihari Lal and they let you connect in their phone lines. Better yet, make friends with the resident foreigners and use their computers, all of them have connections. Maitreya you won't have excuse to send us a report about your pilgrimage and experiences. Remember us when you go in Govardhan parikrama, we'll be with you in every step and I'm sure that Dina Bandhu will take you to Radha Kunda for Bahulastami for the midnight bath. We'll be there too in spirit. I miss Vrindavan and will be really bad for Kartika. I'll offer my candles to a picture of Sri Sri Radha-Shyam and Krsna-Balarama. Srimati Radharani will take care of you Maitreya. Radhe, Radhe.

You sound like you're a good cook, talking about saffron pudding and now pasta. Do you have any good recipe for tomato sauce? Another day with more time I'll tell you when I did a complete fast for 9 days. Only water. [This message has been edited by atma (edited 09-21-2001).]

Thank you prabhus for caring. So many of you had touch my heart recently with all your words and sometimes that is all what we need, compassionate words to make us feel better. I have to say though that sometimes is better for a man not to get married if he can't take care of his family. Spiritually and materially. Have to go. Thanks again for sharing your feelings.