More Stregth was...

[Guest guest]

Hi Rob,

 

> I'm convinced there is no bottom

> >(boy am I in for a surprise!... dunno....) I had an experience recently

> >of my core essence being fear, and that was big and surprising and even

> >more surprising was that it wasn't just "fear", it was "just fear".

>

> How did the Watcher sort that out? ) I suppose that when the monster

> comes to eat you, everywhere you look is monster... And then everything is

> Self... so...

>

 

The experience was one of yawning during a breathwork session (been

doing both separately - here I tried the combo...) I'd been yawning

awhile, and what would happen is energy moving about, often feeling

strong in the palms of my hands. I noticed the energy very strongly in

my hands and had the insight that the energy wasn't moving strongly

there, but was stuck there. I wondered at this and started looking more

closely at what the energy was, and suddenly "saw" that it was fear.

Ths struck me as funny because I had been cultivating the yawning thing

and thinking in terms of "prana", perhaps "k" - neither being words that

had meaning, but words I had come to seek a meaning for. So then the

fear intensified, but just as I was about to freak out and let go of it

(in defeat), I noticed that I could see it as being "justt fear", like

an old friend. Then I could let go of it in gratitude and joy. That

was wonderful and funny, and cosmic. I did it over and over again,

seeing central issues as just fear. It was very freeing. I'm not done

yet (I think). It's a new tool in my bag o' tricks.

 

I hope that answers the question. I never felt during this experience

truly in danger, but the change to seeing the fear as "just fear" was

recognition, and was accompanied by energy waves, and a numinous feeling

like I was learning a cosmic secret of great significance. (I like that

feeling.)

 

Love, Mark

[Guest guest]

At 21:55 28/04/00 -0400, you wrote:

>Hi Rob,

 

Hey Mark!

>snip

>The experience was one of yawning during a breathwork session (been

>doing both separately - here I tried the combo...) I'd been yawning

>awhile, and what would happen is energy moving about, often feeling

>strong in the palms of my hands. I noticed the energy very strongly in

>my hands and had the insight that the energy wasn't moving strongly

>there, but was stuck there. I wondered at this and started looking more

>closely at what the energy was, and suddenly "saw" that it was fear.

>Ths struck me as funny because I had been cultivating the yawning thing

>and thinking in terms of "prana", perhaps "k" - neither being words that

>had meaning, but words I had come to seek a meaning for. So then the

>fear intensified, but just as I was about to freak out and let go of it

>(in defeat), I noticed that I could see it as being "justt fear", like

>an old friend. Then I could let go of it in gratitude and joy. That

>was wonderful and funny, and cosmic. I did it over and over again,

>seeing central issues as just fear. It was very freeing. I'm not done

>yet (I think). It's a new tool in my bag o' tricks.

>

Now *that* is another gift from you! Thank you!!

 

Next time I'm facing something that big, I'll try this method.

>I hope that answers the question. I never felt during this experience

>truly in danger, but the change to seeing the fear as "just fear" was

>recognition, and was accompanied by energy waves, and a numinous feeling

>like I was learning a cosmic secret of great significance. (I like that

>feeling.)

 

Thanks for the sharing! I'm in the process of hunting down a Holotrpic

workshop with a friend in England.

 

Btw, I had a friend who woke up in the middle of the night with the

*answer*. He scrabbled around until he had a pencil and a piece of paper,

scribbled it down and went back to sleep. In the morning he woke and

excitedly reached over to read the message from Beyond. It said:

 

"A strong smell of turpentine"...

 

 

How's you feeling post de-assignment?

 

 

Love

 

Rob

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/2/00 9:44:38 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

Robert_Weil writes:

 

<<

Thanks for the sharing! I'm in the process of hunting down a Holotrpic

workshop with a friend in England.

>>

 

Hello Rob,

Seeing this has prompted me to ask, do you have an active k process

going on now? l was thinking you did, but l'm afraid l don't recall. l think

holotropic breathwork would be very risky for many k active people -- l know

it would be out of the question for me. Wanted to mention it just to be sure.

 

Regards

jerry

[Guest guest]

At 08:12 03/05/00 EDT, you wrote:

>In a message dated 5/2/00 9:44:38 AM Pacific Daylight Time,

>Robert_Weil writes:

>

><<

> Thanks for the sharing! I'm in the process of hunting down a Holotrpic

> workshop with a friend in England.

> >>

>

> Hello Rob,

> Seeing this has prompted me to ask, do you have an active k process

>going on now? l was thinking you did, but l'm afraid l don't recall. l think

>holotropic breathwork would be very risky for many k active people -- l

know

>it would be out of the question for me. Wanted to mention it just to be

sure.

 

Well, jerry,

 

As I see it, K is another label for Ourselves in action. It feels strange

and powerful, but it's not really "other" than us, imo. I know I will

perhaps cause some rolled eyes, but I have experienced K rising, quite

strongly, and I found the way to remain centred was to accept it as a part

of my being.

 

I do hear your caution, jerry, I'm not being arrogant here. I understand

the tremendous difficulties that ppl have experienced through K. But I look

at my life, and I see a path of being strongly reminded of the power of

faith. I will stay tuned to my needs.

 

It appears that I do have some active K happening. I am trusting that my

self knows what it needs. If the HB is too intense, I'll step back and

release into nature or whatever. I have been on intense rollercoaster rides

with strong LSD, and I recognise prana, K and divine illumination. I have

survived.

 

I shall have to suck it and see... I want to clear some old stuff and my

determination has a reason that seems to be about getting ready for some

manifested activity. I don't know more than that. Feels like I need to

prepare.

 

Who knows? By the time we've checked out the group, I/things might have

already moved on! <LOL> I can't take my fears too seriously, and I need to

remember my trust and faith anyway.

 

Thanks so much for warning me, both you and Colette. I shall investigate

the system and feel my way.

>

 

btw, how are you? How's the old energy weather treating you?

 

Love

 

Rob