What do I really own?/Holly

[Guest guest]

 

Holly N. Barrett, Ph.D. [hbarrett]

Monday, February 15, 1999 9:27 AM

Re: What do I really own?

 

hbarrett (Holly N. Barrett, Ph.D.)

 

Your reply was super, Harsha. Here's where I'm bouncing around these

days: attachment to the path/letting the path go, needing to know

God/letting this desire go, too -- kind of a pleasant, though

turbulent, ride and God knows I'm not the driver! Holly

 

Harsha: Hi Holly. Delighted to have you here. For those who may not know,

Holly is an experienced Psychologist and a therapist and the story of her

awakening is quite fascinating. Will you share a bit, if you feel

comfortable Holly and tell us about how Psychotherapy might affect the

system.

[Guest guest]

You wrote:

>

>Harsha: Hi Holly. Delighted to have you here. For those who may not

know,

>Holly is an experienced Psychologist and a therapist and the story of

her

>awakening is quite fascinating. Will you share a bit, if you feel

>comfortable Holly and tell us about how Psychotherapy might affect the

>system.

>

After periodic transcendent experiences since childhood and lots of

dabbling in yoga, t'ai-chi, etc., awakening occurred while I was

sitting around, morose, after a therapy session where I had been the

therapized, not the therapist. The most intense part lasted for almost

2 weeks and I knew what was happening; it felt like a promise fulfilled

from long ago. But only afterwards did I begin to read seriously about

kundalini, Kashmir Shaivism, and so on. Listening effectively, as a

therapist or otherwise, requires one to sit quietly with non-grasping

attention -- "without memory or desire" as W. Bion put it. I've often

wondered whether doing this for twenty-some years didn't add up to

quite a practice on its own. Nowadays I tend to fall into kind of a

spontaneous contemplation, but I'm more absorbed by looking for God in

daily life. I'm totally at sea about my profession, though -- gave up

my practice and can't imagine myself as a conventional clinician

anymore. Here's the task: make your ego healthy and strong so you can

give it up!! You're sweet to ask for this, Harsha. Holly