Taking it personally

[Guest guest]

There is a book called The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. He is

a toltec shaman and wrote this book amongst others. It goes into

great detail of taking things personally and it's a wonderful book.

After reading it, I thought, this is implied in alot of religions,

but how many religions would thrive if it were considered almost a

gospel and people truely followed it and made these agreements with

themselves. The 4 agreements that you make to yourself are:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD: Speak with integrity. Say only what you

mean. Avoid the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about

others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and

love.

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY: Nothing others do is because of you.

What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their

own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of

others, you wont be the victim of needless suffering.

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS: Find the courage to ask quqestions and to

express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as

you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just

this one agreement you can completely transform your life.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST: Your best is going to change from moment to

moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.

Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid

self-judgment self-abuse and regret.

Sounds simple, but I can tell you, it's very true and not always easy.

Following these and not falling into the traps, can give you

non-attachment and discernment automatically. Take a week and

follow number 1 and then the next week 2. Just become aware of how

we speak against ourself or others. How gossip is not impeccable,

even if you think righteously your opinion it's for the best or if

you are trying to 'protect' someone by gossiping... how we decieve

ourselves by gossip. Then the next week the 2nd agreement. It's

amazing how much more aware we can become.

Anyway, if anyone is interested, it's a good book to read as well as The Mastery of Love.

They are short books..

Namaste,

KellyArjuna <arjunaacharya > wrote:

Namaste Brianji,

I agree that sometimes being tough is the best form of showing love.

This happens only when I don't take it (whatever the "it" is)

personally. If I am practicing vairagya then I cna be loving. My

teacher used to say that viveka, discrimination or discernment, and

vairagya, non-attachment, are like two wings that the bird of the

soul needs on its journey. I have been working with vairagya for the

past several months by consciously trying not to take other people's

behavior personally. I realized that 95% at least of what others do,

even when direted towards me, has more to do with them than with me.

Likewise my responses have more to do with me than with them.

ArjunaBrian McKee <brian (AT) soulspark (DOT) org> wrote:

"I agree. Although loving someone who is does heinous things is not

easy..."This points to the crux of what I have been learning for the

last several years. In order to love everyone as goddess wishes us to

we have to let go of our conceptions, stop caring about what people

do, stop judging people for their lives, and simply love them without

expectation.Attitudes of judgement often cause resentment and

resentment is one of the many forms that is NOT LOVE. NOT LOVE is an

entity unto its own in my understanding. Codependence was an example

of NOT LOVE I brought up before.Maa inspires us to higher ideals. The

Jesus of the bible would love people who are as brutal as Mohammad

appears to have been, because he knew that love was the only message

that could be given to affect a positive change in their lives.I'm

not that passive. I think a good slap on the face can show as much

love as a kiss on the cheek in the

right circumstance and done with the right intent.How many people are

capable of that? Probably none. But I aspire. (and digress)I believe

we should all accept each other at face value, realize that no one is

perfect or every going to behave the way we think they should (because

they are not us) and let go what they say if it offends, "for they

know not what they do."If we don't accept other people's problems and

love them anyway, then we get in the mind set that we can change them,

or show them the error of their ways or in extreme circumstances

believe that we can get even with them through some act.That's

obviously not love. How many times have we repeated that cycle in the

last year.I'm asking everyone to own their thoughts and opinions and

stop owning other's thoughts and opinions. If something bothers you,

fine, speak up of you want to, but don't feel that anything anyone

else says is an attack on you or a judgement of who you are. If

you feel that it an attack or a judgement (even if its intended as

one), its your problem that you are letting their problem get to you.

See what I mean? We must own our actions and reactions. Consciousness

is facing our actions and reactions and owning the consequences,

accepting the consequences and learning and growing because of

it.This is all of course my opinion, what I've learned in the last

few years. It really works for me. I've actually become a better

driver because of it. That childhood samskara is nearly healed. If

you knew how bad it was, you'd be as amazed as I am.Consciousness

works and it's separate from mind, body, emotions and even soul.Does

everyone understand what this is about? Do you see what I'm trying to

prevent here?I'm trying to prevent an explosion and right now its up

to Jesse.Brian

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