Sunanda 0 Report post Posted May 21, 2005 What should you do when you're a diksa initiated disciple and you're married for 2 years with a girl and you're relationship is not going good ? I mean i'm practicing KC, but she's smoking and drinking sometimes, eating meat. I thought she was going to change but it doesn't happen. She's a great and intelligent person, but we're not on the same planet. Yesterday we decided we should separate. Nothing is sure right now. So according to vedic philosophy should i try my best to stay celibate until the end. Although I'm pretty sure i'm not ready for it, as i'm 29 and still full of desire. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jayagauranitai 0 Report post Posted May 21, 2005 Do you have Kids? If you do you should stay and be tolerant. If not it may be best to leave before you do. Does she show signs of desire to learn about Krishna at all and become a devotee? I know how hard it can be to have a partner who drinks and eats meat (mine does) but we have kids so it may be different. My Guru told me to just be tolerant and one day my husband would see Krishna in his heart. Hare Krishna Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted May 21, 2005 The influence of drinking, smoking and eating meat can definately cause some conflicting predicaments in the household decision making process. Personally I'm not that tolerant, perhaps I should be, but I feel partners should always make the sacrifice to evolve for their loved ones, if they can appreciate the benefits of abstaining from bad habits. Unfortunately if the partner is not evolved then their habits will keep them covered from seeing and appreciating higher consciousness.They are generally influenced by so many things on T.V. and the external environment and not the good advice of a Vaisnava. So unless they perceive a devotees good example leading to a better life they may not change in the direction you wish. One of two things can happen either you will subtly come down or you will lift them up by either practice. It is generally recommended to find a partner with common interest. When I first joined with mine they too were immersed in similar habits but through much association with devotees, prasadam, chanting, pilgrimage, seva and then initiation to the same guru etc. they dropped all the habits very quickly, and we worked together. Of course there are still so many other obstacles to overcome in an evolving relationship, but that is a good start. If you have deities or some offering process in the home it is difficult for one person to cook, offer, chant etc if the T.V. is on in the background. And most devotees like to share their Hari katha and realizations in a reciprocal relationship. I can't imagine it personally. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jayagauranitai 0 Report post Posted May 22, 2005 It is just something that yo have to deal with. I have Gaura-Nitai deities in our home. I worship them during the day when my husband is not home and put them to rest when he returns. One day the doors were open and he walked in with a beer in his hand and I told him to take his beer out, and boy did that start a fight. It is difficult, but it can be done. I even have to cook meat, which is so gross to me and wrong, but as his wife I am following his requests. My TP once told me that there is an area in the Bhagavatam where in Prabhupada's commentary he talks about being a chaste wife and doing as your husband asks, even if it is not following KC strictly to do what he requests. I would rather follow the order of Prabhupada and my Guru and please krishna, than pull my family apart and strictly follw every aspect of KC. Krishna knows where my heart is when I am cooking meat, and he knows how much I hate doing it, so I am being tolerant. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted May 22, 2005 Thanks for your post jayagauranitai, you showed me a way. - a lost person Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jayagauranitai 0 Report post Posted May 22, 2005 Hare Krishna I am glad my post helped someone. Haribol Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sunanda 0 Report post Posted May 22, 2005 thanx for your answer, we don't have kids and we decided to separate, at least for now. I was thinking about it a lot lately and i feel unhappy with the life of compromise i have to live like that, although i do love her. She doesn't showing any interest in KC anymore and she began to resent it so i think it will be the best decision. Let's just see what the blue boy planned for me... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jayagauranitai 0 Report post Posted May 22, 2005 I am sorry tht yo have decided to seperate. That is never an easy decision for either of the parties involved. Just try to be strong in your parctice of Krishna Consciousness and maybe she will see the ecstasy you feel and decide to come back. If not, then maybe Krishna has other plans for you and her in this lifetime. Nothing is really in our control, it is all in Krishna's hands! We have to just raise our arms to the sky and shout out Krishna's name and surrender to him. Hare Krishna Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sunanda 0 Report post Posted May 22, 2005 yes i'm thinking about it for a while. I'll be fine, thanx again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
