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after chanting today I realized something

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Pankaja_Dasa

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Hare Krishna

 

I always thought that I had a lot of faith in God {Krishna}. But I found out that I don't at all. Its almost nil. Its not sad to hear it. But I realized that I'm in such a low state as a person {I can't class myself as a devotee}. I always talk about KC and how Krishna is God, etc material energies, philosophy of KC. Now I realize I don't believe anyone of it 100%. Wow do I need Guru-Kripa. Any thoughts would be nice, maybe somebody has been thru same thing.

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I would say my experience has been somewhat similiar. I am now asking myself, "Am I doing what God wants me to do, and my spiritual master want me to do, or just speculating and thinking to myself and doing things according to my own way?"

 

I am now trying to study myself, how I act in certain situations. Try it, it might help you.

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I do that all the time, I think I am sure Krishna wants me to do this. I will do it. Yet I won't do what Krishna says in Gita. So thats just my speculation but it feels so good to think you know better than God. Doing Gods work. I was reading in Bhagavatam 1st verse, about how there are certain philosophers who say God also has to work for His own Karma/fruitive acitivites, that God is dependent on this. Interesting how I read this isn't it.

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