Addictions and Spirituality

[jayaisvara 0]

It is hard to become spiritual if one is full of his ego. Its harder if he has ego and lust controlling his mind. Personally, I have been living all my past life with an egotistical and lustful mind. I am so addicted to this material sex that now that I want to become spiritual, my mind would not let me because of my addiction to lust. I also have this ego problem which makes the whole situation worse. How can I become sincere, so that when I pray to Sri Hari, my mind does not waver? How can I overcome this addiction? Even when I am praying, my mind goes to lustful thoughts and I always end up severely depressed because of my mind doing this most craziest thing. How can I stop this? How can I finish with this ego and lust so I can move on and start my spiritual journey? I humbly beg at your feets and ask you to please share some inspiration and wisdom and even your personal victories in spiritual life with a poor soul like me, thank you

 

jayaisvara

[theist 1]

 

Even when I am praying, my mind goes to lustful thoughts and I always end up severely depressed because of my mind doing this most craziest thing. How can I stop this?

 

 

I can identify with what you are saying. I have had a strong addictive nature all my life. Some mental pathology that I have set in motion from my past. The momentum is hard, if not impossible to fight against. I know the depression you speak of.

 

Following the 4 regs has been near impossible for me except for a few short periods here and there. I can and do now and I can only share some tips that helped me.

 

I haven't taken intoxicants for nearly twenty years. The only way I could get away from doing it was to get away from anyone that had any connection to it. Even now I feel that if I found a joint on the street I would possibly smoke it. So I pray to the Lord to protect me from situations where I will fall down.

 

Sex. What a trip. Such a strong natural(to the body) desire. So much physical and pyschological baggage is wrapped around that one. Especially if you live in the West where it is shoved in our faces day and night.

 

What has gradually helped me is in trying to see the body for what it really is. I used to practice massage(women only of course) which fed my habit. So many oppurtunities to fall. I had to quit that even though I could use the bucks. but I did keep the tapes that I had for learning anatomy. Some of which were tapes of the human structure as shown on an actual corpse. Cultivate adversion. Take notice of soul inhabited human forms throughout the day. In your mind look past the skin and notice the bones pertruding. Do you really want to have sex with a skeleton? or even one with some skin pulled over it. Prabhupada describes these as corpses simply flapping for awhile. lol

 

Don't just see the nicely formed womens butt but look deeper and envision the stools just a few inches below that surface waiting to be expelled.

 

Do you know how filthy the human mouth is? Why do we think happiness resides in a women's mouth? Pass the listerine and get me outa here.

 

Just take an honest look with eyes of expanded knowledge.

 

Of course aversion can help only so far. Maya can sweep us under in a milisecond. Every wonder how a surgeon that cuts these corpses open all day can come home and bed his wife?

 

Like in Sri Isopanishad we are told to cultivate knowledge of this world and the factual one side by side.

 

In the end of the day knowledge of our relationship with Krsna will save us. We are dependent on Him solely, wholely.

 

We are like stupid little children that keep putting our fingers in the socket to feel what the shock is like. The parents must pull the child away and make it impossible to do it again in some way.

 

We cannot control the mind any more than we can control the wind. But Krishna can. And He is willing to to do that if we want Him to.

 

It has also helped me to remember that I am not the mind. All the garbage there is just stuff that I have been dragging around from birth to birth, like old junk we haul with us as we move from apt. to apt. The Name will clear it out for us as we try to make this present apt. into a proper temple for the Lord.

 

We are in a war with Maya, nobody said the victory would be easy, but if we continue to fight all that stands against our reunification with Krsna will be slain.

 

That's Krsna's promise. We can take it to the bank.

 

Haribol

 

[Guest guest]

Thank you for sharing, theist prabhu.

[theist 1]

That was the PG rated version. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

[Guest guest]

"That was the PG rated version."

 

I hear you, prabhu. Mine doesn't even have an R rating, it could only be shown as XXX. Seriously!

[theist 1]

Krsna is our strength. Things are such a struggle now but after all these countless eons we are nearing liberation with an eye to authentic bhakti. We are certainly behind our peers but still we have reason to rejoice.

 

The Christians have this line in one of their songs; "the joy of the Lord is my strength..." I like it. Krsna says this path is joyfully performed.

 

So we need a balanced eye. Even as we pull the weeds from our heart we should take note of the budding roses.

 

Haribol

[krsna 3]

Even as we pull the weeds from our heart we should take note of the budding roses.

 

 

/images/graemlins/cool.gif

 

1. We shall overcome

We shall overcome

We shall overcome some day

Chorus:

Oh deep in my heart

I do believe

We shall overcome some day

 

 

2. We'll walk hand in hand

We'll walk hand in hand

We'll walk hand in hand some day

Chorus:

 

3. We shall all be free

We shall all be free

We shall all be free some day

Chorus:

4. We are not afraid

We are not afraid

We are not afraid today

Chorus:

5. We are not alone

We are not alone

We are not alone today

Chorus:

 

6. The whole wide world around

The whole wide world around

The whole wide world around some day

Chorus:

 

7. We shall overcome

We shall overcome

We shall overcome some day

Chorus:

 

[jayaisvara 0]

Thanks for the reply theist. I guess all the struggles that one experiences are to strengthen oneself is it not? Nowadays, I always think that one day Krsna will save me and the day I do get out of this material conception of life, I will never go back to it again because after struggling to attain something like bhakti, no one would even think about going back to materialism. What do you guys say?

[stonehearted 0]

Regarding his problem with intoxication, thiest recalls that staying away from anyone involved with dope was key to his dealing with the problem. I think this is good advice for all our forms of addiction to exploiting matter. In fact, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu advises that the essence of Vaishnava behavior is to avoid such bad company altogether.

 

The other side of this is that we should keep company with devotees, the more advanced the better, who can help us in our efforts to break Maya's thrall. It's a good idea to forge a confidential relationship with someone advanced enough that he or she won't judge you but encourage you. What may help give you extra strength would be a relationship of service to advanced devotees. Vrindavan das Thakura writes in Sri Chaitanya Bhagavat that, according to the Lord Himself, worshipping or serving devotees is even greater than serving the Lord Himself.

 

One more idea: Take the strongest shelter you can of those items of service you can perform. Chanting the holy name is very powerful. Chant as much as you can, as purely as you can. And always remember that Krishna is the Lord of Maya.