Guest guest Report post Posted June 10, 2004 the fact that i like this person is it because of my own freewill or is it because of lord krishna's will? how am i supposed to know whether lord approves of it or no? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted June 10, 2004 the fact that i like this person is it because of my own freewill or is it because of lord krishna's will? krsna or krsna through maya how am i supposed to know whether lord approves of it or no? if you are not completely pure and detached you cannot know krsna's will do not have all these problems.. marry and be happy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted June 10, 2004 be you are attracted to him because he is on the same path of life you are on. There is nothing wrong with wanting to share your life with someone who is living a similar life. As a devotee, you see a nice devotee, and they will have many attractive qualities. Then you see a karmi man, and it is not so attractive, meat eating, drinking etc... Nothing wrong with what you want, I don't think. Not everyone is going to be a sanyassi so, some people are going to get married and form relationships, better it be another devotee that not. BTW, Have you said anything to him or a friend about how you feel yet? Hari bol A. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted June 10, 2004 Mataji, do invite us for your wedding! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted June 11, 2004 No i have not told him actually we have never talked to each other,i don't have the guts to go and talk to him. the fact taht i like him makes me feel as if my consciousness has got polluted as if i have done something wrong,i don't know what to do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted June 11, 2004 just pray to krishna that i get married to him,i have already accepted him as my husband and am not interested in marrying anyone else hope krishna grants me this desire. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted June 11, 2004 First I think you need to talk to a mutual friend or both of yours, or maybe the temple president about your feelings. It probably is not proper to talk with him about this since he is a brahmacari. Is he in saffron or white? (just wondering what status he is claiming by his dress, since if he is in saffron, he is clearly not thinking of marriage right now) Also, make sure this is a desire not out of lust, but out of wanting to develop a relationship with Krishna at the center. It is wrong if it is out of lust, you must but Krishna at the center, not your desire for him. A. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vanamali 1 Report post Posted June 11, 2004 the fact taht i like him makes me feel as if my consciousness has got polluted as if i have done something wrong,i don't know what to do. I think maybe you are finding it hard to concentrate because you are thinking about a possible relationship with this man. I would advise you to try to get married to him if he is agreeable. It would be nice if your parents could talk to each other about a possible alliance, but I doubt this is feasible for you... anyway, the reason I say this is that if you have a desire for married life, best to get married and clear out the desire in a sacred way. After a few months of marriage (post-honeymoon bickering and whatnot) probably you will feel back to your normal self... But if he is not agreeable, or if in your heart of hearts you think this is just a passing desire, or even if you do marry him, then remember this; all these loving earthly relationships are like litte sparks of the relationship with Krishna. When you are in love, you feel all is right with the world... you sense a deep meaning behind the beauty of the trees in the fall, the sunset, the warm spring breeze... that is Krishna peeking at you, my sweet girl!! That elusive something that is a desire so deeply ingrained in human consciousness... to connect deeply with someone... to be completely conquered within one's heart and soul... sweet one, that desire is meant for Krishna... He is your only true relative, your one True Love, your Master, your Friend, your Sweetheart... when you are loving your husband, friend, family member, you are becoming aware of a little piece of that sweet Govinda...... you already love Him... just give yourself some time to realize it... antaryAmi alasiti solasiti intaTa nI caraNidE joccitini kOrina kOrkkulu kOyani kaTlu tIravu nIvani tencaka bhArapu baggAlu pApa puNyamulu nErupula bOnIvu nIvu vaddanaka janula sangamula jikka rOgamulu ninu viDuvavu nIvu viDipincaka vinayapu dainyamu viDuvani karmamu canadadi nIviTu shAnta paracaka madilO cintalu mailalu maNugulu vadalavu nIvani vaddanaka eduTane shrI venkaTEshvara nIvade adana gAcitivi aTTiTTanaka Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
i_luv_krishna 0 Report post Posted June 13, 2004 ---> the fact that i like this person is it because of my own freewill or is it because of lord krishna's will? how am i supposed to know whether lord approves of it or no? He neither approves nor disapproves. If you want what you want very badly, Krishna will give.... you can rest in peace .... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
i_luv_krishna 0 Report post Posted June 13, 2004 ---> that desire is meant for Krishna... Because nobody else can satisfy that .... tried and tested .... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
i_luv_krishna 0 Report post Posted June 13, 2004 when you are loving your husband, friend, family member, you are becoming aware of a little piece of that sweet Govinda...... Brihadaranyak Upanishad 2.4 (Yagyavalka Maitreyi samvad) verse 5 sa ha uvAcha na vA are patyuH kAmAya patiH priyo bhavaty Atmanastu kAmAya patiH priyo bhavati | na vA are jAyAyai kAmAya jAyA priyA bhavaty Atmanastu kAmAya jAyA priyA bhavati | .... .... na vA are sarvasya kAmAya sarvaM priyaM bhavaty Atmanastu kAmAya sarvaM priyaM bhavaty AtmA vA are drashhTavyaH shrotavyo mantavyo nididhyAsitavyo | maitreyy Atmano vA are darshanena shravaNena matyA viGYAneneda{\m+} sarvaM viditam.h || 5 || And he said: 'Verily, a husband is not dear, that you may love the husband; but that you may love the Self, therefore a husband is dear. 'Verily, a wife is not dear, that you may love the wife; but that you may love the Self, therefore a wife is dear. .... .... 'Verily, not for the sake of the All, my dear, is the All loved, but it is loved for the sake of the Self.' 'Verily, my dear Maitreyi, it is the Self that should be realized—should be heard of, reflected on, and meditated upon. By the realization of the Self, my dear—through hearing, reflection, and meditation—all this is known.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zackv 0 Report post Posted June 13, 2004 The only thing that troubles me is that you think you HAVE to get married. If you want to, then sure. But don't do anything you don't want to do. And yes there is precedent for this. There have been female renunciants...Gungamata Gosvamini I can name off the top of my head. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted June 13, 2004 the whole thread was because she likes someone and wants to marry him. Of course there are female renunciates. There is nothing wrong with that, but all responses to the original poster are based on the fact that she really wants to marry this devotee. A. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
zackv 0 Report post Posted June 14, 2004 I understand that, but I was responding to this statement: "but whilen i am here in this material world and being a girl i have to get married no other option,so is it wrong if i choose the person to whom i would like to get married to?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted August 2, 2004 I don't think anything is going to work out. i want to get over all this and forget him completely,what do i do? please tell me Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gopidust 0 Report post Posted August 2, 2004 There is no doubt you are a lusty young girl. You will eventually need to get married. You want to and you are attracted to a young boy, fine. But he may or may not want you. Pray to Lord Krishna for a suitable husband. If you are so attracted to this man then try to let him know through a third party and take the risk that's all you can do. Or you can approach a temple authority if that is the case. But if he isn't interested in you then you may have to repeat this scenario over and over just to try to find a husband who likes you. Krishna may want you to suffer for a while before allowing you to marry also. Ultimately everything is up to Krishna. As far as your guilt over being unchaste, don't worry about it. You are chaste as long as you don't engage in illicit sex and wait for a proper husband. Just remain steady in your desire to marry a devotee somehow or other and Krishna will fulfill it. Or you can pray to Radharani I found out recently also. Is that true? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted August 2, 2004 Well first off you need to realize that what you feel for the brahmacari is not love, period. You have never even spoken to him, that hardly qualifies your "feelings" for him as "love". Lets be honest here allright ? There is no such thing as "love" for someone you do not know. The word 'love' is bandied about in this modern world as a replacement for any kind of lusty desire. "I love candy", "I love Ferrari's", "I love jewlery", "I love money". In a human relationship, "love", is not the same thing as the above kinds of love. Those kinds of "love" are really lust, those items bring you pleasure, so you lust for them to give you that pleasure. If you do not know this person you "love", if you have no real experience of his personality aside from that which is projected in a group setting of peers, then you do not know that person, at all. You lust for that person, you believe a relationship with him will bring you pleasure, much like "love" for a nice home. So be honest with yourself, then you can be detached from your feelings. Do you really love him ? Or do you love the idea of him ? If you really feel this person has potential as a mate, then get to know him first. But don't go into it with blinders on. Don't super-impose your ideal of what that person is like in your dream world, onto that person. For all you know he may be a jerk in private, be wary of "love" at first site. It is not love, it is nothing but lust. Love means an exchange of respect, never forget that. So often people let their lust control their better judgement. Externally a man may appear to have all the things you want, but that is an illusion. How often have looks and first impressions been deceiving ? Love is awakened by getting to know someone, it is not experienced between two people if they have an external relationship alone. Without getting to know the person one on one, then your "love" is a lie. It is not love. It is the desire of an ideal, that ideal, which you have conceived and think will bring you what you desire, is what you "love". This is known as Transference. In psychoanalysis, this is the process by which emotions and desires originally associated with one person, such as an ideal or parent or sibling, are unconsciously shifted to another person. So since you do not know this person, you are transfering your ideal onto him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vanguard 0 Report post Posted August 2, 2004 Do you really love him ? Or do you love the idea of him ? I think Shiva prabhu's post is the most useful of the whole lot. There's not much I can say aside from the fact that I too was in this situation years and years ago (so-called "love at first sight"), and I can tell you that when you see someone who is the epitome of everything you look for in a person surface/physical wise, the mind will then go hard at work. The mind will work hard to accentuate every good quality and downplay the bad, all in a bid to create the western conception of romantic beautiful love. "Oh! I've found the one!" the mind will proclaim loudly and joyfully. You may even feel euphoria of some kind. I'm not against meeting someone and falling in love with them as opposed to Indian arranged marriages, but at the same time, realize that we're mostly in love with outer, physical traits mainly, and love itself. Talk to this guy, but proceed with caution. Do NOT get your hopes up. Speak to him for a long period of time as if he was your brother. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted August 3, 2004 i am not interested in any kind of physical relation, i like this person because of his humbleness and because he is a very good devotee( i got this information from one of my friends). well now it's all upto krishna,i'll just abide by what he's decided for me,irrespective of the fact whether i like it or not. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gopidust 0 Report post Posted August 3, 2004 I am unqualified to say but Srila Prabhupada said the husband must be attracted to Krishna and the wife should be attracted to the husband. So love or lust if you have a good husband and he loves krishna it doesn't matter how you love him, eventually when he goes back to godhead you will follow. Or Krishna will make you both become pure in this lifetime. I didn't mean anything by saying you were lusty I was just fooling around. But generally women are lustier than men in regards to household paraphernalia and all that. Oh you were asking Vanguard never mind then. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted August 15, 2004 why do i like this person? why all of a sudden he's become so important for me? why am i not able to forget him? who's responsible for all this ,is it because of my own bad karma's? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gopidust 0 Report post Posted August 15, 2004 It may be as simple as you have been hit with Cupid's arrow. Cupid is a demigod but Cupid is also Krishna's grandson. Anyway sometimes he will hit you with an arrow and you will fall madly in love with somebody so it sounds like that is what happened to you. Pray to Krishna. This is a test. It may just pass with time. Krishna is the Supreme Controller. Maybe He just wants you to think of Him more. /images/graemlins/smile.gif Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
