The Adventures Of Gopal Bon: based on stories told by Srila Prabhupada

[krsna 3]

The Adventures Of Gopal Bon

 

based on stories told by Srila Prabhupada

 

dramatized by Dasarath Suta Das

 

* * * * * * * *

 

NOTE: The dialogue for this play has been directly extracted from the transcriptions of Srila Prabhupada's spoken words in the following conversations:

 

* Morning Walk, Calcutta, January 30, 1973

 

* Room Conversation, August 11, 1973, Paris

 

* Morning Walk, February 10, 1975, Los Angeles

 

* Morning Walk, June 4, 1976, Los Angeles

 

* Room Conversation, June 28, 1976, New Vrindavan

 

 

 

 

 

CAST: Narrator, Gopal Bon, Nawab, Minister.

 

 

 

Narrator: There was once a famous joker in ancient Bengal named Gopal Bon. He was jester in the court of Raja Krishna Chandra, during the period of Mohammedan rule. Formerly kings used to keep one funny man because the kings are always full of anxiety, and the court jester would give them a laugh to help them relax. Sometimes the joker even insults the king, and the king enjoys that insult. So here we will see how our Gopal Bon gets into mischief with the Mohammedan Nawab (Governor) who ruled over the kingdom of Bengal in days of yore.

 

Nawab: Gopal Bon, I have heard you are very expert. Can you write a book similar to the Mahabharata, but about me and my kingdom?

 

Gopal: Oh, yes! I'll engage many panditas, and we will make a grand Mahabharata that narrates your activities, your glories, everything. Just give me one hundred thousand rupees, and we will begin.

 

Nawab: All right, here, you can take it.

 

Narrator: A week later, Gopal Bon returned to the Nawab for more money.

 

Gopal: Dear Nawab, the work on your Mahabharata is going on very nicely. Just give me another ten thousand rupees.

 

Nawab: All right, here, you can take it.

 

Narrator: A week later, Gopal Bon returned to the Nawab for more money.

 

Gopal: Dear Nawab, the work on your Mahabharata is going on very nicely. Just give me another ten thousand rupees.

 

Nawab: All right, here, you can take it.

 

Narrator: A week later, Gopal Bon returned to the Nawab for still more money.

 

Gopal: Dear Nawab, the work on your Mahabharata is going on very nicely. Just give me another ten thousand rupees.

 

Nawab: Gopal Bon, when will the book be finished? You have already taken so much money!

 

Gopal: Yes, yes, it is just on the verge of being finished. It will take only a few days more. Just give me another ten thousand rupees.

 

Nawab: All right, here, you can take it.

 

Narrator: A few days later, Gopal Bon returned to the Nawab for more money.

 

Gopal: Dear Nawab, the work on your Mahabharata is going on very nicely. Just give me another ten thousand rupees.

 

Nawab: Gopal Bon, you told me the book would be finished in just a few days! You have already taken so much money, now where is my Mahabharata?

 

Gopal: Now, sir, everything is already prepared. Only one last bit of information remains that is very essential. You must give me those details, and then the Mahabharata will be finished.

 

Nawab: What is that information?

 

Gopal: The one missing detail is — you have to tell me how many husbands your wife has.

 

Nawab: Huh?

 

Gopal: How many husbands does your wife have?

 

Nawab: This is very insulting! What kind of nonsense are you asking?!

 

Gopal: Well, that is the main subject matter of the Mahabharata. Draupadi had five husbands, but you are such a great person, your wife must have at least one dozen.

 

Nawab: That is the subject matter of the Mahabharata?

 

Gopal: Yes, that is the only subject matter, that Draupadi had five husbands. You are such a big Nawab, your wife must have at least one dozen husbands. So please give me their names. Otherwise, how can I finish your Mahabharata?

 

Nawab: (becoming very angry) Don't talk all this nonsense! No, no, I don't want you to write something like that. I am the only husband of my wife!

 

Gopal: Then I cannot finish your Mahabharata. How can I write it without this central feature?

 

Nawab: Here — take another ten thousand rupees, just stop all this nonsense. Tell me, Gopal, what is the difference between you and an ass?

 

Gopal: (immediately measures the distance from the Nawab to himself) It is three feet only, sir. The difference is only three feet. (everyone begins to laugh)

 

Nawab: Very funny! Now get out of here! (Gopal leaves, giggling with a smirk)

 

Narrator: So Gopal Bon's great Mahabharata, supposedly glorifying the puffed-up Nawab, was never finished... if it was ever started in the first place!

 

Nawab: Minister, I just have to get even with that rascal, Gopal Bon. Perhaps you would be willing to help me fulfill my wish. I hear that Gopal Bon is constructing a new house. And because the house is not yet established according to traditional rituals, no activities like passing stool are permitted therein. But if you go to his house and somehow evacuate before the opening ceremony and thus pollute the new construction, then I'll give you one thousand rupees.

 

Minister: Yes, Your Majesty, I'll go and do it. I won't fail you, I promise. (he goes to Gopal Bon's house) Gopal Bon! Oh! I am very much called by nature. Kindly show me where your privy is. I have to pass stool.

 

Gopal: (aside to audience) Now why has this man come here just to evacuate? I can understand that something suspicious is going on! (addresses Minister) Yes, yes, dear Minister, come in, come in, come in. My new privy in just in here. (he opens the door and brings in a big stick)

 

Minister: Why you have brought that big stick?

 

Gopal: The door must stay open. You pass stool there, and I'll just see that you pass only stool. Yes, you can pass stool, but if you pass one drop of urine, I'll kill you!

 

Minister: How is it possible to pass stool but not pass even a drop of urine?

 

Gopal: No, it is possible! You can pass stool, but you cannot pass urine. If you pass urine, then I shall kill you!

 

Minister: Aren't you being a bit absurd with such an unusual request?

 

Gopal: Certainly not! You said you came here to pass stool; that you can do here, but I forbid you to pass urine.

 

Minister: Well, I don't think I can follow your ridiculous rule!

 

Gopal: If it is not possible, then I cannot allow you to pass anything in my new house! Yes, this is my policy. Have a nice day!

 

 

 

COMMENTARY BY SRILA PRABHUPADA

 

 

 

Narrator: These are some of the historical anecdotes of ancient Bengal narrated to us by Srila Prabhupada. Of course, His Divine Grace always quoted these stories in support of some point of Krishna conscious philosophy that he happened to be preaching at the moment. For example, he told the story of Gopal Bon's bogus Mahabharata in relation to his criticism of the rascal scientists, who attempt to produce life by chemical manipulation but still manage to earn financial support by their empty promises of future success. Prabhupada said during a Room Conversation, June 28, 1976, in New Vrindavan:

 

So these rascal scientists are doing like that. They are writing Gopal Bon's Mahabharata, and the rascal government is paying them. At the end, they ask how many husbands your wife has got. They'll never be able to produce anything. When you challenge them, they reply "That we cannot say." As soon as you say "Make an egg," they reply "That we cannot say." And they'll chant "Chemical evolution, chemical evolution" and get Nobel Prize. Rascals. But how the people are so foolish that they believe in this?

 

Regarding the incident of the King's man trying to evacuate in Gopal Bon's unfinished house, Srila Prabhupada compared this to his own position of constantly traveling around the world, but still having no permanent residence. He stated during a Morning Walk, February 10, 1975, in Los Angeles:

 

Krishna has given me hundreds of such places but His order is "You cannot stay." (laughter) I'll tell you one humorous story in this connection. It is a little long. I don't wish to divert your attention. Very interesting story. That is also mentioned in the Bhagavad... aniketa. One may have many nice places to live; still, he should think that "I have no place to live." That is one of the spiritual items... [then he tells the story] ...(laughs) So that is my position. "You may have hundreds of places, but you cannot live anywhere." That is Krishna's order.

 

He used this same anecdote another time in reference to some meeting where apparently he was invited to speak, but wasn't provided a microphone that was necessary for the people in the room to hear him. He said during a Room Conversation, August 11, 1973, Paris:

 

So these, these foolish scientific men, "You can speak, but if you use microphone, then I'll kill you." Yes. The Gopal Bon's policy. They would not say: "Not allow." But in a different way. For political diplomacy. Not directly: "No." But creating such position, it is not.

 

Regarding the insult delivered by Gopal Bon comparing the king to an ass, Srila Prabhupada extensively related the following topics during a Morning Walk in Calcutta, January 30, 1973:

 

Although Krishna is not conquerable, but He likes to be conquered by His devotee. That is the position. Just like He willingly placed Himself to be conquered by Mother Yashoda, to be conquered by Radharani, to be conquered by His friends. Krishna became defeated and He has to take His friend on the shoulder. Practically sometimes we see that a king keeps a joker amongst his associates, and sometimes the joker insults the king, and the king enjoys. The joker sometimes... Just like there is a famous joker, Gopal Bon, in Bengal. So one day the king asked him, "Gopal, what is the difference between you and an ass?" So he immediately measured the distance from the king. He said, "It is three feet only, sir. The difference is only three feet." So everyone began to laugh. And the king enjoyed that insult. Because sometimes it is required.

 

So Krishna also... Everyone praises Him in exalted position. Everyone. That is Krishna's position — the Supreme Lord. In Vaikuntha, there is only praising. There is no such thing as insult. But in Vrindavan Krishna is free to accept insult from His devotee. The people do not know that, what is Vrindavan life. So devotees are so exalted. Radharani orders, "Don't allow Krishna to come here." Krishna cannot come in. He flatters the other gopis: "Please allow Me to go there." They reply: "No, no. There is no order. You cannot go." So Krishna likes that.

 

 

 

The End