Shd I or shd I not marry

[Guest guest]

I am livivng in India and in my early 20's. I sometimes feel that I shdnt get married because of all the bondage and also feel that I will forget God. My parents are searching some guys for me..etc...I have seen some of them...although they r from a Brahmin family they do not know anything abt God etc...do not bother to know abt God. But sometimes I feel taht I should not hurt my parents. I havent really liked any guy in my life till now. What to do

[Dervish 0]

earlier thread

 

Read that thread.

 

If you want spiritual life, your husband should want it too. Don't let your parents throw some "brahmin" at you just because of their caste and how wealthy they are. Remember Bhagavad Gita and Srimad Bhagvatam, it says your caste is based on how you act, not birth.

 

 

 

[moderators note; link shortened to keep page from going off screen]

[Govindaram 1]

 

why don't you say to your parents you want to get married to a nice Vaishnava boy?

 

Not some mellacha sudra brahmin caste, who doesn't know the first thing about, what being a brahmin is, grr.

[Guest guest]

Get married, you will not forget God when you get married and maybe you will turn your husband to be more religous than you. Marriage is a compromise, the husband inherits some of the wife's views and the wife inherits some of the husband's after they are married, it happens subconsciously.

 

A simple example for that would be driving. A friend of mine used to drive recklessly when he was a bachelor. He also used to do crazy things while he is driving- shortcutting, you get the point. However, when he got married he is driving kind of slow , it was kind of funny. So, marriage is a compromise.

 

Anyway, also like Mr. Govindaram here said, you should start thinking about marrying a good vaishnava boy. but then again, being vaishnava or not has nothing to do with one's attitude. So, trying to find a gentleman is more important than what he believes or does not believe in.

 

Also, you should tell all the things that you said to us to your parents. That way they know what you want. Don't be stubborn, listen to them, they know better and have lived on this planet many more years before you were born.

 

And finally, Goodluck, I am sure you will find a nice man to marry. If you find this post funny, have a nice laugh. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[gokulkr 1]

Pray to Sri Sri Guru Raghavendraswamy that you will get a good vaishnava as a husband.

 

Only guruji can help you.

 

Moreover, a "Guest" had told to listen to your parents, just because they lived more in this planet. Its a great joke. Spirituality has no connection with "no. of years" lived in this planet.

 

Dont listen to your parents. They just want to do their duties by making your marry. They cant give you salvation & they are least bothered about your salvation. Only God Vishnu can give you salvation.

 

So Pray to Sri Sri Guru Raghavendraswamy & guruji will definitely help you.

 

I too am in same situation like you. But i had surrendered to Guru Raghavendraswamy. I am sure guruji will take care of everything.

 

/images/graemlins/smile.gif OM SRI GURU RAGHAVENDRAYA NAMAHA

/images/graemlins/smile.gif OM SRI GURU MADWACHARYAYA NAMAHA

[Guest guest]

Hi,

The number of years lived here on this planet has nothing to do with spirituality, but has alot to do with common sense and worldly knowledge.

 

-lover soul character-

 

[gokulkr 1]

God has given us common sense to select our sampradaya and try to reach God.The so called "sense" that is used to acquire mundane things & mundane affairs is not a common sense. Our so called parents brand the latter as common sense & former as nonsense.

 

They want to pull us (me) in the materialistic whirlpool rather than realising God. Its not a act of a parent with a "common sense".

 

In my sampradaya marriage is not compulsory whereas in some sampradaya it may be compulsory.

 

Hers an example from Past :-

Hiranyakashipu was father of Lord Prahlad.Hiranyankashipu was evil & showing Prahlad evil way. But Lord Prahlad had more common sense than his father & attained God. This shows common sense has nothing to do with "no. of years" lived in this mundane world.

 

Also Lord Vibishena was younger than Ravana. But Vibishena had much more common sense then Ravana.

 

 

[Guest guest]

I do not understand your argument. I mean, you cannot take some one like hiranyakashapa and compare him with her parents, you do not even know the details.

 

So, your arguments are based on assumptions. How do you know that the parents here are being as bad as hiranyakashapa or Ravana?

 

I was referring to common sense as in common sense of the world and yes in some cases acquiring mundane things and mundane affairs require a sense which is "common sense". I can give you examples, but I am sure you can know them with a little contemplation.

 

you wrote: 'They want to pull us in the materialistic whirlpool rather than realising God. Its not a act of a parent with a "common sense"', I have to ask if you are the first poster of this series. If you are then, please I apologize if my advice is not good for you.

 

If you are not the first poster. Then , I think it would help if we restate the problem: The girl does not want to marry a nonreligious person. she writes that like this : "although they r from a Brahmin family they do not know anything abt God.."

 

My advice was: tell your parents what you said here and look for a nice vaishnava. If you cannot find one, then marry a nice guy and don't worry too much about religion because you will not lead a non religious life just because you are married to a non religious fellow. So, listen to your parents they probably will be better at judging(most of the time) because of their experience with people in general.

 

Also, my question to you: how can some one pull you into something? They are not exactly pulling anything. You have to come into something yourself and get out of it yourself. If you mean marriage is a materialistic mundane affair, you are wrong, it can be spiritually uplifting. This could be wrong but: God never said, "don't marry", all he said was do not be attached. Never be attached to mundane things and do whatever you do for Him, therefore you will constantly think about Him and return to Him. So, to marry or to not marry, to cut our hair or not to cut our hair and all that "that is the question" stuff is made up by us. So, if she is a sincere bhakta no mater what sorts of mentalities lie underneath or what situation she is in, they will be broken one by one and He will come and take her with Him to Vaikunta when it is time. It will be all done by Him. So again, I write that she should not be concerned with getting a religious husband, but she should be concerned with getting a good husband.

 

[Guest guest]

If u r a female, you need a caring husband to survive in the society.

 

If u r a male, you can pursue a spiritual path and choose not to marry.

 

Its better to marry a man who does not drink, who does not smoke, who does not eat meat, who is devotional.

 

I know a lot of Brahmins ( Iyengars in particular) who eat chicken, mutton, and all stuff. SO caste is not important.

Its the habits that are important.

 

[bubri 0]

hi...u are in ur early twenties?.....these days...too early for marraige.

 

u have not told anythin about ur future plans except that u dont want to forget god...and u found many guys didnt think soo much about god.

 

what is your real ambition in life...ask urself that. if it is becoming a nun...then no one can stop u.the answer is obvious.

 

but if u do have a goal in mind which is very much material...then i will advise u to follow that goal with vigour.

 

personal front usually becomes clear once u decide on how to go about ur life professionally.

 

premarital blues have become more common these days due to the fickle society condition that we live in. nothing and no one can be trusted or presupposed.

 

in such a scenario it is better to be independant and reach a position from where a decision can be taken by u rather than follow someone elses and regret all your life.

 

finally....consult ur parents...discuss with them. dont jump to conclusions as to what ur parents want without discussing any future palns that YOU have made for urself.

 

after all this....if u decide that u should marry...then u will be surprised as to how things usually work out to suit ur expectations. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

all the best.