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Hare Krsna,

 

Although i did contemplate before hearing about Krishna, i do not now. Because it is not a solution to anything, since after death the suffering would be worse.

 

Are you a devotee of Krishna? If so, you should work on the Hare Krishna mantra. Mantra meaning "mind release" This is the only solution to hard times in the mind, actually one should learn to use the Mantra to help in the "good" times when we think we are happy too. We need to be equapoised or steady in happiness and in distress.

 

I am responding to this post and words because many years ago when a bhakta boy at our temple did not show for the morning program.....

 

When i was serving Krsna's charnamrta to my initiating guru he asked where so and so bhakta was to me. I said " i dont know " the guru said to me that i should know and find out, since i was his older god brother. I ran up to the brahmacari ashrama and found him and he was only sleeping in but since then i have felt some responsibility for others in Krsna consciousness at least.

 

So since i find your post here where krsna con. is spoken i feel some responcibility towards your condition, and hope some of these words help

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Dont Worry, I will never kill myself although I feel so.

 

Yes, I am a so called devotee of Lord Krishna and my favourite is the four armed Vishnu form. I am not soo happy because I am unable to be like a person mentioned in the Gita although I try.

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When I was a teenage I almost did... you know... pointing that weapon at your body… needing only a little shove.

 

It's sort of a humble position... to think my life is worthless.

 

But if you really listen to that "inner voice", you will hear it shouting "mistake!" We really can't avoid life or death… it has to play out.

 

You have choice, you have power in your hands. Learn from your mistakes and grow! Live and let live!

 

I think alot of people consider this. Perhaps they don't entertain it as long as we do. But you'd have to be pretty insensitive to not consider it in this society.

 

There are predictions in the scriptures that people will be willing to die over little or nothing. We are burning with pain.

 

Put your head in Prabhupada's books. Take the time to make time.

 

Keep Good Thoughts!

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I wrote the message above.

 

Please consider also that it is a criminal act.

 

Krsna punnishes one to be a ghost and have desires that can't be fulfilled without the gross senses. You think you're suffering now? Suicide will simply increase your suffering. Krsna punnishes for that.

 

He can't have everyone going around killing themselves.

 

This self-mortification means things are very wrong. It is very unnatural.

 

Accept the suffering and give it time to pass. It will eventually pass even if you can't see it.

 

Opportunities will come and go as the years go by.

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At Christmas last year, I actually attempted suicide and after I did it I felt like God was talking to me, I realised the sinful act I was performing and from then on I never wanted to leave Him. In my case, I had to fall to get up again(don't get any ideas).

You say you feel like you're failing in some way, that's why you feel suicidal. I also felt like that but don't ever contemplate it. We are all imperfect but as long as we strive to do the right thing we're doing alright. To think like this is like refusing this gift he's given you ie human life.

However low you feel, just remember God is always with you and is always there to help you when you are in trouble.

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one day i washing a coffe pot and i accidently tipped it over and it fell, so i got on my knees to pick up the shattered pieces of glass. as i was picking them up, i just looked at the glass and i was just running the glass across my wrists. i was in a state of numbness/trance and all it wuld have taken was to press a little harder and then it would all be over so easily. before i could take such an action, my mom was yelling/calling for me to do some other work and then i snapped out of the trance. that is the day my mom saved my life. i have never told her and i never will. i am much better know and so happy that part of my life is over.

 

all i can tell you is that you have to take it one day at a time it will get better. i spent a total of eight years in darkness. it will happen, maybe tomorrow, maybe a year from now, but be assured that it will happen...

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When I was in college I got really depressed for a few months. I had also been studying yoga at the time. I decided to attempt to kill myself by holding my breath. I figured at least that way I would know it was what I really wanted to do. I held my breath for quite a while a few times, but I didn't die. Eventually I cheered up.

 

Hare Krishna

Pandu das

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I did feel like that many times earlier due to incompatibility with my wife. I used to think about my two kids, who would be loosing their dad. That was a period of great turmoil for me. Luckily, my past meritorius deeds came in handy and my spiritual master asked me to do chanting of the Holy Name. Since then, these thoughts have gone away and I feel much better these days.

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Very recently in fact. Problem is it does not work. I would find myself standing outside of my body with all the same problems plus now 1 more.

 

When very young the moon landing was announced. I couldn't help notice that we left trash there as we departed. That coupled with my depression and frustration over Viet Naim led me to the conclusion that as an act of kindness towards the universe at large all humans should participate in the act of human genocide before we polluted other planets.

 

I was serious. I remember arguing my point to a woman that ran a John Birch Society booth at a local fair. She remarked that I was too young to hold such a view to which I asked her "How old do you have to be?" She had no answer.

 

I have come up from that dark pit quite a good distance as I soon after developed a fledgling understanding of God.

 

Recently I have come to understand the Buddhist motivation a little better. But really I do want to stop suffering but some void or conception of endless deep sleep is just as depressing.

 

There is only one shelter. ONE period. Krsna's lotus feet. One depressing element; my unwillingness to love Him.

 

Killing the body just won't work. We have to deal with that core impulse that caused us to turn away from Krsna way back when.

 

There is one tree in the garden that we must not take the fruit of. The one that produces the knowledge of good and evil.

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but fortunately, I found the beautiful process of Krishna Consciousness. Now, even if I had such thoughts, I would never, ever destroy this body which Krishna has blessed me with. We are so fortunate to have human bodies and suicide would lead to great suffering for ourselves, and those who we are close with. I wish you pleasant thoughts and best wishes.

ys, Matthew

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