Am I right in feeling this way...I dont think so but....

[Haridham 0]

Hare Krsna everyone.

 

This is everyones favorite poster(I hope)hahhaha

 

 

Last night I was thinking something regarding my wife and marriage life to someone who is not a devotee.

 

I was thinking that I am missing out on marrying a devotee. When I was a young boy, I always thought i was going to marrry a devotee girl practice my krsna consciousness with her. However that didnt happen as most of you know the story so i wont go into it now.

 

A part of me was kinda sad, what if she doesnt become a devotee, what if we cant agree on things. I wish she would dance like the devotee girls dance in the kirtan and embrace krsna conscioussness and its wonderful lifestyle like many others have done.

 

I feel like I am missing out. Surely I know it is great to make a new devotee. Thats what prabhupad wanted anyway.

 

Frankly I think this is an insult to my wife.

 

I guess I answered my own question but please reply if you like.

 

Afterall marriage is about accepting not expecting.

 

Hare Krsna

 

Haridham

[Guest guest]

A really spiritually elevated person should not compel anyone to become as what he likes. You continue to be devotee of Krishna and as long as she loves you from her heart and soul, you respond to her love and respect her. You are not missing anything. Actually you are thinking too much about yourselves and confuse for nothing. Have you evaluated yourselves how far you are perfect. How far you have given up your ego on any aspect and how far you treat everyone equally bby being really humble in your mind truely. If you are not, then you are not devotee bby yourselves, bbut you are only praying to God. First look yourselves in the mirror before you try to write about someone even if its your wife. When you become perfect, you will never complain about your wife.

I am sorry to say this. I am no way related to ISKON.

 

[Haridham 0]

From what you wrote I could understand that you werent from iskcon.

 

However I do value and appriciate your point.

 

You are right in many ways, however I was talking from a perspective of someone who is the mode of serving krsna and not allowing his spiritual life be destroyed by being with someone materialistic.

 

I was hoping someone who could relate answer this question.

 

My wife chants and such but helping your wife in her spiritual life is a husbands duty.

 

According to the Srimad Bagavatam a person shoudnt become a husband, a wife, father, a mother, a guru or worshipable demigod if he cant liberate his or her dependants.

 

You have a big responsibility in the ashram that your nature has assigned you. You have to keep krsna in the centre.

 

That is my point of you and of our shastra. I didnt get married just to enjoy my wife rather I got married so i can serve krsna with my wife.

 

Hare Krsna

 

Haridham

[Guest guest]

I am quite knowledgeable in Shastras and Gita. I do agree its husband's duty to liberate his dependents. But it is also his duty to protect their dignity. Are you not aware of it. Dont write about your wife in a public forum.

To be a devotee of Krishna one need nto be only from ISKON. I am not from ISKON But a devotee of SHree Krishna and keep myself very pure in mind and body. Dont think only ISKON people are devotees. ISKON is hardly few years old, while people who are worshipping Krishna are there for centuries.

[Haridham 0]

I never mentioned anything about iskcon. However The Sampradaya that Iskcon does belong to is eternel. The Brahma Madhiya Gaudya Sampradaya is handed down by krsna.

 

I am expressing to devotees how I feel. I am not humiliating my wife. I never said my wife was bad.

 

Iskcon is following Caitanya Mahaprabhu's teachings. He is non other then krsna. I know that iskcon doesnt have the only devotees but without iskcon and Srila Prabhupad most people woudnt even have heard of krsna. Srila Prabhupad taught the actual proper way of the vedas.

 

You should read Srila Prabhupads books and I my original post to figure out what I was actually saying.

 

I wasnt posting anything to challenge you weather you know the sastra or not.

 

So why dont we drop this because I was asking devotees who can relate with this subject. My wife knows that I am getting advice from devotees. She loves me as her husband and because I chant Hare Krsna and follow Srila Prabhupads movement. She had the opportunity to marry many people but she chose me because I was sinsere in my dealings with her and she knew that krsna would be the centre of our relationship.

 

Again read what I posted first.

 

Thank you

 

Hare Krsna.

 

Haridham

 

 

[Guest guest]

I can relate to you in a way. I am new to Krishna Conciousness, and my husband is not in the least bit interested in it. I feel like I want a husband who is also a Devotee, so we can fully grow in our love of Krishna together. (it has never been a very happy marriage to begin with)

There are many conflicts in the marriage now because of me going to the temple and folling the regulative principles. He still eats meat, drinks, and fels like it is taking me away from him.

Alls I am saying is that I can relate, and am curious of what others have to say about this.

[Haridham 0]

Hare Krsna

 

Well I am glad someone can relate. I know how difficult it can be, even though I am only thinking about it and nothing crazy has happened yet.

 

Its sad that your marriage is on the rocks but do not worry, keep krsna in the centre anyway. Lead by your best example.

 

I dont think you should leave him. Show him what krsna consciousness is by showing the best example.

 

Hopefully he will follow, if not now then a few years from now.

 

hare Krsna

 

Haridham

 

 

[sinimat 0]

Haridham,

I understand your situation perfectly, as I myself am in a similar situation. I recently became a devotee, or tyring at least /images/graemlins/smile.gif, and my wife is not yet attracted to Krishna. Actually, she was quite repelled by it all at first because it was taking me away from her. However, I have been praying to Krishna, that this soul who is my wife be attracted to Him. Without a doubt, he is answering my prayers. Just this past week, my wife asked me a few questions about Krishna as a baby and I read some of the Gita to her. Then, she came inside the temple to pick me up from the kirtan on Sunday and met someone that she knows and really likes talking with from a philosophy class she took. It was very auspicious and Krishna is definately hearing my prayers.

For me though, my wife has indirectly made me realize I have a lot of work on myself to do first. Although I am sacraficing some time that would otherwise be used for more Krishna Conscious things, I am trying to spend more time with her and show her that I really do care about her. I see know that I should try to attract her to Krishna though my actions, not words. If she sees changes in me and sees that I truely love her, then she will naturally be attracted to Krishna. It would not be good for our relationship, and her soul, if I continue to drift from her. So, I am trying to maintain connection with her, yet pursue Krishna. I feel that it is my duty to help her become attracted to Krishna. However, "you can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink". So, I'm not expecting her to come to Krishna, but I do pray that she will. If I don't expect it to happen and then if it doesn't happen, I won't be dissapointed and it won't strain our relationship. Anyway, just my two cents worth. I would really like to hear more from you. Feel free to email me (m-siniawski@northwestern.edu), if you wish. I hope we can help each other out. Haribol!

Matt

[Kulapavana 0]

are you Polish by any chance?

[Haridham 0]

No I am not polish but i dont know if that was a remark to me

[Kulapavana 0]

I was asking Matt. He has a Polish last name.

[sinimat 0]

Kulapavana,

Yes I am Polish! My father's father was Polish and that's how I got the Polish name. However, I'm also Swedish, German and Scotish. Quite a mix, huh? Anyway, that's just the mix that Krishna gave me this time around. Haribol!

Matt

[Guest guest]

"Its sad that your marriage is on the rocks but do not worry, keep krsna in the centre anyway. Lead by your best example."

 

 

That is what I am trying to do, but I am afraid I just do not love him anymore or want to be with him. It makes it harder that we have 2 kids. Our son is an exact replica of him, and my daughter of me. She runs around singing "hare krishna"(she is 2) and he says he doesn't want to go to the temple because dad says he doesn't like. It is hard. My temple has a sunday school and I am going to put my daughter in it, and try to get my son to come.I will not force him to go though. I know he would love it. When we were at Govindas in Los Angeles, he saw a picture of Krishna and asked me "mommy, is that God?" I said yes it is.

We have quite a battle of lifestyles going on here.

I made Veggie lasagna last night and he almost didn't eat it because it was veggie, and didn't have meat in it.

I am trying my hardest to somehow make it work, but deep down I know it won't. If I had the monetary funds, I would have left by now, but with 2 kids I can't just leave with no plan or money.

[Haridham 0]

Dont give up hope yet.

 

Hanuman said in the Ramayan that "Impossible is only in a fools vocabulary"

 

Just Remember If krsna brings you to it, Krsna will bring you through it.

 

Just depend on krsna, try your best and leave your results to krsna. WHen the time is right he will show you direction

 

Hare Krsna

Haridham