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Sue you soon :)

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It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella

awards. The Stella's are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who

spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued Macdonald's . That

case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful

lawsuits in the United States. Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit

implicating Macdonald's, the teens who allege that eating at

Macdonald's has made them fat, was filed after the 2002 award voting

was closed. This suit will top the 2003 awards list without question.

5th place (Tied).

Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded

$780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over

a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the

store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the

misbehaving toddler was Ms Robertson's son.


5th place (Tied).

19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses

when his neighbour ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr Truman

apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when

he was trying to steal the hubcaps.


5th place (Tied).

Terrence Dickson of Bristol Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just

finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage

door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could

not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage

locked when he pulled it shut. The family were on vacation and Mr Dickson

found himself locked in the garage foot 8 days. He subsisted on a case of

Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the house owner's

insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury

agreed to the tune of $500,000


4th place.

Jerry Williams of Little Rock Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical

expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbours

Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owners fenced yard. The award

was less than sought because the jury felt the might have been a little

provoked at the time as Mr Williams who had climbed over the fence into

the yard was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.


3rd place.

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster

Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her

coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms.Carson had

thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.


2nd place.

Kara Walton of Claymont Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a

neighbouring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and

knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms.Walton was

trying to sneak out of the window in the Ladies Room to avoid paying the

$3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.


1st Place.

This year's runaway winner was Mr Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City

Oklahoma.Mr Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On his

trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the Freeway, he set

the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into

the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left

the Freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not

advising him that in the owner's manual that he could not actually do

this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The

company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in

case there was any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.




No wonder lawyers earn so much!! :-)


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