Discussing Death...

[livingentity 0]

My uncle is very very ill (stroke, kidney failure, parkinson's plus...) and also being elderly may pass from his body at any moment. My aunt and my uncle have been married for over 53 years and I know my aunt is having a very difficult time right now as is their only child, my cousin who is one year younger than I am.

 

I am very close to this aunt, uncle and cousin having been raised in their home after the death of my grandparents so I am also feeling the stress of this ordeal.

 

What I am trying to ask is basically - what is a good way to talk with non-devotee family members concerning the passing of a loved one? Please remember they are closed minded about Krishna Consciousness and in order for them to "hear" me at all I have to speak in a way to keep them open to me.

 

They are all Catholic and not much inclined to hearing of Krishna Consious topics.

 

My heart aches at the thought of dealing with this with them but I know that the time is coming closer and I need to be prepared.

[Guest guest]

 

 

Maybe only prasadam will do at this sensitive time and a few kind words.

[yasodanandana 0]

to give prasadam is surely the best advice

 

in every situation the topic for starting to preach is "we are not this body, we are spirit"

 

so we can explain that it is not possible that all the wonderful energy, love and life that our relative, our friend had before the death, now it is completely lost and dissolved

 

and there is much more beyond the poor body that we yesterday kissed and embraced and today we put in a wooden box and in a hole in the ground

 

who was the one we loved to kiss, embrace, talk to, receive answers?

 

surely not that body

 

everything said in loving mood.... first we must love, otherwise there's not preaching

[gHari 0]

LE,

 

.. perhaps you could encourage them to chant the rosary. Maybe then you could even chant the mahamantra quietly.

 

gHari

[Govindaram 1]

Hare Krishna

 

I lost my Granddad to a heart-attack 2 years ago, and I wish I'd chanted the Hare-Krishna Maha Mantra to him (he was in a coma), or put a running tape of Srila Prabhupada next to his bed-side, I was not that sad because he had previously had 3 heart-attacks, so it was his time(I saw that NOW), but I very much regret Not chanting the Maha-Mantra, so please do not miss this opportunity, from what you say he has a lot of love for you, so I'm sure he won't mind you chanting, and a bit of charm can go a long way /images/graemlins/smile.gif

[livingentity 0]

I want to thank everyone for their input on this. I have to admit that it is disturbing me more and more.

 

I did not mention that I am at the opposite end of the country from my family and am working on getting there to visit asap. This makes it all the more difficult for me.

 

I am in contact with my family through the telephone and email and am updated frequently on the status of my uncle. He has lost all interest in basically everything and is not eating much either. From the things that are being said to me - I get the feeling he is ready to go but knowing my uncle there is probably the concern of how my aunt is going to be when he leaves his body. I can not help but feel he is hanging on longer for her.

 

I worry deeply for my aunt.

[livingentity 0]

Last night after I posted the original message in this thread - I became very sad about this situation. I thought about it for hours it seems and just as I was falling asleep I thought about the rosary. I had forgotten all about this - I don't know how I could forget that seeing as how important my japamala are to me!!

 

I am going to contact my cousin and ask if any of them are still chanting on their rosaries. They are all very very tired right now and the stress is taking an exteme toll on them and I am afraid that may have gone to the wayside.

 

I am also going to find a nice picture of Radha Krsna and send to them in a letter.

 

[I_love_krishna_ 0]

In my view, they don't have to be a Krishna Conscious people to be consoled.

 

In this difficult time, it is best for you to say that they have reached God and in his own special way has received them.

 

If I don't help... please don't mind..

[livingentity 0]

 

In my view, they don't have to be a Krishna Conscious people to be consoled.

 

 

[I_love_krishna_ 0]

Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything about this issue... thank you for forgiving me in advance.

 

[Priitaa 0]

LE,

 

I certianly do not pretend to knoow all the answers here, just one thing came to mind when you asked what to tell them and that they are not so inclined toward Krishna consciousness. So I thought, if it were me, I would tell them that he has only gone somewhere else (or 'going'), and tho we will be sad and miss him, he's not gone, just elsewhere. Because this is true, and I think any religion will have no problem with it presented that way or similar.

 

I second the Rosary idea. And prasadam, including water for sprinkling if needbe.

 

Please take care of you too. I myself don't do too well with death, and have a hard time when someone I know, or heard of and respect, passes over. But each time I receive some realization out of it. Not saying this is the recommened process, only thats what it has left to offer. Anyway, the knowingness and not just belief that this soul is eternal is something I have always found helpful. But especially, its important to take care of yourself at such a stressful time.

 

Wishing you well.

[livingentity 0]

Thank you for your very kind reply. I have an extremely difficult time with the passing of loved ones. Death is our most difficult lesson. I had to start dealing with it at a very early age and it has never gotten easier.

 

This thread had been on my mind for a long time but I put it off because of the difficulty I have with this and even now I can only deal with it for short spurts.

[Guest guest]

Tell your aunt that, uncle's is going to change his dress and wear a new one. Tell also that, his duties and all his dealings with them (aunt and cousin) were almost over and he would leave his tattered dress now. Since, he is leaving for better, they should feel happy.

All that I know, I wrote for you, but since I had not "understood" or "experienced" that soul is different from body (though I know it is), I cried for days together, when my mother passed away two months back due to 2 successive heart attacks.