Not working but trying

[Guest guest]

I gave up meat eating, I gave up alcohol and smoking, I am cooking food myself, I am chanting, but I am not able to give up sexual urges. If devotees here have any better ways of overcoming that please share with me.

 

[Guest guest]

keep chanting... this is extremely difficult, and do not be too much disturbed by it

[Guest guest]

yes..continue to glorify the Supreme Personality of Godhead by chanting His Holyname....

 

also, examine your present surroundings...are you constantly watching TV and reading magazines which bombard you with senseless sexual images and innuendo. if your mind is being re-enforced with this type of stimulus it will be unable to seperate the urges associated with them.

 

don't become a slave to mass media glorifying the sexual culture...detach yourself from the mindless programming and relish in the nectar of the Holyname and associate yourself with devotees interested in the Supreme.

 

M

[Guest guest]

Follow this link:

http://www.dasanudas.org/Counselling.asp?MainCatID=101511 and read the two sections in that page.

Some more links:

http://www.thedivinelifesociety.org/download/brahmacharya.htm

http://www.sivanandadlshq.org/messages/celibate.htm

http://www.sivanandadlshq.org/teachings/brahmacharya.htm

 

Read these pages again and again.

[Guest guest]

The best way is to have faith in the chanting of the Hare Krishna maha mantra.

 

From my experience with this, and I'm still struggling, is that with time Krishna helps us by becoming more and more attracted to devotional practices over those sense gratificatory engagements.

 

In this society we are bombarded by sexual messages everywhere. We have to be able to see that this sexual desire is only because of some very deep longing from the soul who is looking for Krishna. We are looking for our better halves, but Krishna is our only other half.

 

"Two birds, eternal friends, sit on one tree. One is 'isa' the other 'an-isa'. The bewildered soul eats the fruits while the other, the Lord, looks always content in Himself. Only when the soul turns to Krishna does all his longings go away." (a paraphrasing from the Svetasvatara Upanishad)

 

Sex is the most binding force in this world and it is normal because it requires two selfish souls to have a certain level of trust for each other. But sex has even more degraded with the use of contraceptives and abortions, it is now simply an activity without any reason. The true reason for sex is to make Krishna conscious children, not some little scratching of some itch.

 

Hare Krishna

[Guest guest]

but please, no REPRESSION, leave sex when you are able to do it

[Bhaktavasya 0]

 

That's why renunication is not recommended until one has reached the age of at least 50. At that time the sexual desires have naturally waned. For devotees it is a blessing; it doesn't mean husband and wife don't love each anymore, but that their spiritual life becomes more refined and deepened as the mind is no longer agitated, the children have usually left home and both parties can be free to engage in bhajan and prepare for death.

 

Without transcendental knowledge, the poor conditioned souls panic when the sex desire vanishes and waste time and money on things like viagra and hormone replacement therapy to try to revive the sexual feelings. Especially for (unenllightened) men, it seems, their 'manhood' is so identified with sexual prowess that they feel somehow incomplete when this occurs.

 

Until then, it is better to gradually reach a stage that is beyond attraction and repulsion, to do everything with love and kindness, whether it's within the realms of intimate exchanges with one's spouse or preparing prasadam to satisfy the Lord and (we must admit) our own desires to satisfy the tongue. Even the desire to taste delicious food gradually diminishes with age.

 

When I was a child I was in awe at my grandmother's ability to keep a whole box of chocolates on her dining room table for weeks without eating the whole thing; left with the same box I could've devoured it the same day. Now that I'm older I can relate; I can bake a cake for my family and be satisfied with a tiny sliver while my 20-something year olds can eat the whole thing in one night without getting a stomach ache unless I restrict them.

 

The same with sex desire which is really the desire for intimacy and pleasure. As we make gradual spiritual progress, the intimacy between ourselves and Krishna becomes more fulfilling and transcendentally pleasureable than the joys of sex.

 

 

[Bhaktavasya 0]

 

For some reason, I assumed you are married and don't feel like editing my last post (cuz I think it was okay and I'm frazzled today myself for reason unrelated to sex)so I shall pass on Srila Prabhupad's sage advise on overcoming mundane sex desire; to hear, chant and meditate on the divine erotic pastimes of Radha and Krishna.

 

When Arjuna confessed to Krishna that trying to tame the unbridled mind and senses was like trying to control the wind, Krishna said that it is possible by constant practise and detachment.

 

without love all is in vain

 

 

[Guest guest]

This sexual urge is the basis of material existence. I guess that's why Prabhupada said we could gauge our spiritual advancement by the absensce of this drive.

 

You may know of these following points, many here do. But I will mention them just for clarifying what we are dealing with.

 

Men want comfort from women. Women want security. They both want gratification through companionship and intimacy. This is natural to all. (Exceptions are few given the numbers).

 

When the two combine they need a private place for many illicit connections. Children come and one's involvement in the world expands exponentially....jobs, taxes, shopping, trips, etc all in the name of more facility.

 

These sexually active couples are all supporting their sex life, directly or indirectly. And cities or states or countries are simply different groups of these sexually active couples all vying over limited resources for their personal advancement and facility.

 

And then there's this perspective: The ultimate exploitation of nature is to exploit another's body.

 

You are dealing with perhaps the strongest force of the material prison; no chains here, just the shackles of sex life.

 

I think you already know the way out. But it takes time. If we grow impatient or unaccepting of our faults, we can decieve ourselves and cheat others. Stonehearted recently said something like "Knowing where you're at is knowing where you're going." Sincerity is to be realistic about our position.

 

Your question could be rephrased, "How can I attain Krsna?" It is the flip side of the same existential coin. There is a spiritual process and gurus for that. There are very few gurus. A real guru is needed for this one.

 

Guess Guest

[Guest guest]

my obeisances...

[Guest guest]

You give me hope , I hope I find a guru like you .