Guest guest Report post Posted December 10, 2002 Prof. Bihari Inside the Class : * Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in. * Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in. * Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half. * Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor * You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class ..) * Both of u three, get out of the class. * Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today. * Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver..... * Take 5 cm wire of any length.... ------------------- # About his family : * I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?) ------------------ # At the ground : * All of you, stand in a straight circle. * There is no wind in the balloon. ------------------- # To a boy, angrily : * I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk ? ------------------ # Giving a punishment : * You, rotate the ground four times... * You, go and under-stand the tree... * You three of you, stand together separately. * Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?) ------------------- # Sir at his best : * Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school... ( to that boy ) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre" LA LOO *.Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on... *.Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist dept and asked them "Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...". The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down. *.Laloos family planning policy.. "DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR" *.At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender,"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED." *.After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left" *.Laloo was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar" *.A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?Marriage" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted December 12, 2002 Application Letter These are some of the application and leave letters written by various personnel. English as they say is a funny language!!! 1. A candidate's application. "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post. 2. An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one week leave. 3. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I have to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave" 4. A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school i am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today." 5. A family friend of ours told an incident of his friend's letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the school" 6. Another leave letter written to the headmaster : As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day. 7. Another leave letter written to Administration dept : As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted December 12, 2002 Sardar's mother's letter to sardar Pyaarey puttar, Vahe Guru. I' m writing this letter slow, because I know you cannot read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles. I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine Situated right above the commode. I'm not sure it works too well. Last Week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather here isn' t too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be A little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery. Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it' s a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle, Jatinder fell in a the nearby oil well. Some men Tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to Fulfil his father' s last wishes. His father had wished to be Buried In the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father. There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. Love Mom. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
