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Living on Earth is expensive,

but it does include a free trip

around the sun every year.


Birthdays are good for you;

the more you have, the longer

you live.


How long a minute is depends

on what side of the bathroom

door you're on.


Ever notice that the people who

are late are often much jollier

than the people who have to

wait for them?


If ignorance is bliss, why aren't

more people happy?


Most of us go to our grave with

our music still inside of us.


If Walmart is lowering prices

every day, how come nothing

is free yet?


You may be only one person

in the world, but you may also

be the world to one person.


Some mistakes are too much

fun to only make once.


Don't cry because it's over;

smile because it happened.


We could learn a lot from

crayons: some are sharp,

some are pretty, some are dull,

some have weird names, and

all are different colors.... but

they all have to learn to live in

the same box.


Everything should be made as

simple as possible, but no



A truly happy person is one

who can enjoy the scenery

on a detour.


Happiness comes through

doors you didn't even know

you left open.




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