Truth, knowledge and pride

[truthNhonour]

I am no expert when it comes to the Geeta (Gita).

I have a great respect for it because many people whom I respect find their way of life via the Gita.

 

I have started and stopped and started again to read the "Bhagwad Gita As it is".

Initially I found it depressing, it made me feel like 'I' was of no value. My existense or not was of no consequence. It made me feel that I could excel in everything I do and live a life on my principles and it would mean nothing.

 

But then I tried thinking of it this way. I wrote this mail to my close friends, but they did not have any comments on it. Let me know what you think.

 

 

I am full of mistakes, shortcomings and faults.

Most of the times I spend effort hiding these

shortcomings.

In order to hide these, I react to situations that

reveal my shortcomings, leading to anger, jealousy,

hopelessness, grief, pain etc.

It is my effort to keep these weaknesses from

becoming evident, sometimes evident to myself, that

leads me to fall in the trap of negativity.

 

Instead, if I were to be completely open to the fact

that I have serious flaws and limitations and accept

them as they become evident, and act to strengthen

myself so as to overcome or even rectify them, then I

will not fall in the trap of living away from the

truth.

 

Usually, I try and defend myself, react to situations

and hence live in an illusion and not reality.

Every time I have been strong enough to accept my

flaws and work on it, I have been happy.

 

There are so many things about myself that I know are

not good enough or bad, but I do not acknowledge them

to myself or I give it a more humane touch, and

"pardon" it.

 

The obvious thing that comes into ones mind is that

to be some one who can live in Truth or reality would

require to have no sense of attachment to oneself.

It looks like a state of complete surrender.

 

This is what the Geeta says, it asks you to surrender

yourself to Krishna. And, Krishna is characterized to

be the ideal and the unaffected. He is beyond the

illusions. He is Truth.

 

Well, to be completely rational, levelheaded and

strong, I need to be honest in assimilating what I

sense. I can delude myself and run from my fallibility

only to be trapped in unhappiness.

 

The Geeta, and probably all these religious texts

state "the surrendering of the false pride of being

some one you are not" to be the path to bliss.

 

In a way it is in sync with objectivism too.

as on objectivist you are expected to be rational.

Believe in only what makes complete logical sense and

not delude your self from truth. It asks you to be

proud of what you are, your strengths and ability and

live life on the basis of that. Any attempt to

encroach on some one else's rights by force are not

considered acts of "selfishness" but that of evil.

 

So may be, being completely rational is being in this

state of detachment from the "individualistic pride"

within you. When I say "individualistic pride" it is

not in the sense that it an antonym of surrendering to

the collective. It refers to the falsehood that I

cover my eyes with by attempting to disregard my own

shortcomings.

 

Well thats that, let me see how much I can act on it.

Probably completing the Geeta with this approach might

help.

 

But then I must do something now:

I must apologize for being often disrespectful of the

rationale used in religious texts. Though I still do

not believe in the existence of a God that takes care

of things for you, or has built this universe and

stuff like that. But, may be what they were trying to

communicate was something similar to what I said

above. So in a way I believe in God now.

 

I am born a Hindu. However, I am just forming/searching my own beliefs.