fish

[Guest guest]

dear chrism and all.

 

I just watched Chrism's video about animals and loved it... I have had a visit

from a bear recently and I see this image in many things now, even in the

crystal I brought home from Brazil. I can't kill bugs any more and if one must

be removed from my living space I pick it up and put it somewhere else... before

K I would have stepped on all these little creatures with out a second

thought... I am so glad that has changed and I now because of K, I love and

appreciate all the little folks too... and I see how beautiful they truely are.

 

On a recent blue sky day I watched a fisherman pull the beautiful flashing

silver body of a fish from sun dancing waters and then bash it to death before

putting it in his brown canvas " catch of the day " bag.

My body reacted with shock and such grief as i witnessed this violence. It

honestly felt to me like I had witnessed a murder.... then with the tears I

felt anger rise towards the person who had done this. It was such a shattering

experience. Later on I felt a wave of some emotion like helplessness .....

there was nothing I could do , nothing....

People who kill animals for sport especially if they do eat them afterwards

really believe they have the right to do that. I am having such a hard time

being ok with ....the eating of an animal justifies the killing of that animal.

I thought being a vegetarian for 5 years and a vegan for 6 months I had

reconcilled my feelings about this when I took action on behalf of myself ...

but without knowing it on a conscious level I obviously need to work on how I

am feeling and how I am about the choices others make regarding the killing of

animals. I seem to be meshed back into strong emotions about this.

I have been fairly blind recently about lessons I am being given and I am

feeling quite confused about sadness within. I know I am going through a

process and it is really painful.... I have moved out from clam waters to rapids

and that is for sure. I am grateful for the safeties because they assist me

in my moving through this sadness even if I am confused and unsure of what it is

all about.

 

love julia