What the heck WAS all that?

[Guest guest]

I havent posted in a while as I have been having a difficult time with the K

process lately. For the past few weeks K energy levels were way up - yet my

personal levels of energy were way down. My K has been burning through some big

blockages and nothing I did seemed to help.

 

I had burning at the base of my spine and back and lots and lots of pulling and

tugging around my neck and head as the energy worked its way around. Physical

symptoms were very strong from the pulling to feeling as ants were just under

my skin- this almost drove me crazy. The energy seemed as if it was blocked at

the base of my spine and was working on my right kidney at the same time.

 

I'm wondering if I am having a different kind of k activation i.e. from the head

down, as it seems as the areas where the blockages are manifesting are working

its way down my body from the head down.  For example, my last large blockage

area was in my stomach and now it is at the base of my spine. I guess it really

dosent matter - it is what it is.

 

Anyhow, this last one was a doozy! (Still is). I ate watermelon, meditated,

prayed ,surrendered, stopped meditation, did Tibetians, stopped Tibetians, did

Trataka, stopped Trataka, stopped meat, ate meat, danced, cried, walked in

nature and curled my self up in a ball catatonic for hours. I even stopped all

private student activity. Nothing changed the course or even helped in the

slightest. I am usually not a whiner - but whoa!

 

Besides the constant pulling and energy surges, m y moods were like I was going

through menopause on steroids! Happy, sad, angry within the space of a few

minutes! I was able to avoid complete meltdowns with others but I had a couple

in private. I snapped at family members a few times, but on the whole I

really-really tried not to.

 

I questioned everything - even my involvements here and with Chrism.  Whether

or not  the safties and my practices here were escalating things too much for

me or if I was losing touch with my own line to God. I even questioned if I was

putting in a personal position of too much of a religious authority or

for example as a Saint. (He got a kick out of that one).

 

Chrism was of course wonderful with me - patient, understanding and very kind-

even when I said things in my ramblings about men and religions.  I really did

mean mankind (including women) as a whole, like in the human race, but I can

see how I was taken as I was  criticizing just the  menfolk. Sorry. =(  But

as a side note, I do wonder if I was complementary towards menfolk  in my

ramblings, if I would have gotten the same response from about being

sorry that he was a man and he couldnt do much about changing it  =) LOL It's

all good if you guys are taking the credit for something! hehe

 

Things seem to be getting better for me now and whatever the K was burning

through I usually find out what it was, after the fact - if at all. Sometimes

the best I can do is just ride things out and when I look back, I ask, what

the heck  WAS all that?

 

One good thing is that even through all this emotional and physical upheaval I

experienced the past few weeks I managed NOT to smoke! It has been over a month

for me now and although I was sorely tempted, I held out.

 

I don't understand alot of all this that is happening to me (at least on this

level), but I am glad to be back and I am grateful that I can write about it

here on this forum and I can learn from all of you and from Chrism. Even if if

takes me several tries and I am pretty thick and stubborn sometimes, I

eventually do come around and get through it! Thank you all for helping with

sharing your own stories and kind words.

 

Love

 

Mary

 

 

 

[Guest guest]

Dear mary,

 

Hugs and loads of love, you are wonderfully wonderful... well done on not

smoking that is such good news to hear. Love Julia

 

, merozema wrote:

>

..

>

> I don't understand alot of all this that is happening to me (at least on this

level), but I am glad to be back and I am grateful that I can write about it

here on this forum and I can learn from all of you and from Chrism. Even if if

takes me several tries and I am pretty thick and stubborn sometimes, I

eventually do come around and get through it! Thank you all for helping with

sharing your own stories and kind words.

>

> Love

>

> Mary

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi mary,

 

well, I can totally relate to what you were saying. My process is more balanced

now (although its still challenging and ongoing), and there was no real sequence

how it worked in my body... sometimes head, then chest, then abdomen, then

neck... it was all over the place..

 

and that exhaustion with too much energy in the body.. that used to hit me a

lot...

 

and those feelings of disconnection from God.. those were brutal..

 

and at times for weeks it was tough.. well done for not responding negatively to

others and not smoking.. i feel those choices, where, in the face of great

difficulty, you choose the higher way, or the places it matters most..

 

I was just happy to be breathing after some of the deeper clearings.. lol..

 

love

bruce

 

, merozema wrote:

I havent posted in a while as I have been having a difficult time with the K

process lately. For the past few weeks K energy levels were way up - yet my

personal levels of energy were way down. My K has been burning through some big

blockages and nothing I did seemed to help.

>

> I had burning at the base of my spine and back and lots and lots of pulling

and tugging around my neck and head as the energy worked its way around.

Physical symptoms were very strong from the pulling to feeling as ants were

just under my skin- this almost drove me crazy. The energy seemed as if it was

blocked at the base of my spine and was working on my right kidney at the same

time.

>

> I'm wondering if I am having a different kind of k activation i.e. from the

head down, as it seems as the areas where the blockages are manifesting are

working its way down my body from the head down.  For example, my last large

blockage area was in my stomach and now it is at the base of my spine. I guess

it really dosent matter - it is what it is.

>

> Anyhow, this last one was a doozy! (Still is). I ate watermelon, meditated,

prayed ,surrendered, stopped meditation, did Tibetians, stopped Tibetians, did

Trataka, stopped Trataka, stopped meat, ate meat, danced, cried, walked in

nature and curled my self up in a ball catatonic for hours. I even stopped all

private student activity. Nothing changed the course or even helped in the

slightest. I am usually not a whiner - but whoa!

>

> Besides the constant pulling and energy surges, m y moods were like I was

going through menopause on steroids! Happy, sad, angry within the space of a few

minutes! I was able to avoid complete meltdowns with others but I had a couple

in private. I snapped at family members a few times, but on the whole I

really-really tried not to.

>

> I questioned everything - even my involvements here and with Chrism.  Whether

or not  the safties and my practices here were escalating things too much for

me or if I was losing touch with my own line to God. I even questioned if I was

putting in a personal position of too much of a religious authority or

for example as a Saint. (He got a kick out of that one).

>

> was of course wonderful with me - patient, understanding and very kind-

even when I said things in my ramblings about men and religions.  I really did

mean mankind (including women) as a whole, like in the human race, but I can

see how I was taken as I was  criticizing just the  menfolk. Sorry. =(  But

as a side note, I do wonder if I was complementary towards menfolk  in my

ramblings, if I would have gotten the same response from about being

sorry that he was a man and he couldnt do much about changing it  =) LOL It's

all good if you guys are taking the credit for something! hehe

>

> Things seem to be getting better for me now and whatever the K was burning

through I usually find out what it was, after the fact - if at all. Sometimes

the best I can do is just ride things out and when I look back, I ask, what

the heck  WAS all that?

>

> One good thing is that even through all this emotional and physical upheaval I

experienced the past few weeks I managed NOT to smoke! It has been over a month

for me now and although I was sorely tempted, I held out.

>

> I don't understand alot of all this that is happening to me (at least on this

level), but I am glad to be back and I am grateful that I can write about it

here on this forum and I can learn from all of you and from Chrism. Even if if

takes me several tries and I am pretty thick and stubborn sometimes, I

eventually do come around and get through it! Thank you all for helping with

sharing your own stories and kind words.

>

> Love

>

> Mary

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Mary, Congrats on not smoking!

Blessings,

Kat.

 

 

 

 

________________________________

" merozema " <merozema

 

 

Mon, April 26, 2010 2:42:04 PM

What the heck WAS all that?

 

 

 

 

One good thing is that even through all this emotional and physical upheaval I

experienced the past few weeks I managed NOT to smoke! It has been over a month

for me now and although I was sorely tempted, I held out.

 

I don't understand alot of all this that is happening to me (at least on this

level), but I am glad to be back and I am grateful that I can write about it

here on this forum and I can learn from all of you and from Chrism. Even if if

takes me several tries and I am pretty thick and stubborn sometimes, I

eventually do come around and get through it! Thank you all for helping with

sharing your own stories and kind words.

 

Love

 

Mary

 

 

[Guest guest]

Mary,

 

Congratulations! I think you just got over a big piece of nicotine withdrawal.

At the last moment, as your cells are about to get rid of the last of the

nicotine, they suddenly cry out in terror and make you a bit crazy. You

probably " knew " that you could have had a cigarette to " calm " all that stuff

down. All that mental and emotional movement and activity, as well as Shakti's

movement, were being physically suppressed by nicotine. It's one of the reasons

we who have smoked did smoke - the nicotine suppressed a lot of mental and

emotional and energetic activity, which can be very distracting, and thereby

enabled us to focus our minds on the tasks at hand. At a cost of course. I

have had similar experiences when I quit smoking. When you make it through

without starting again, then you've passed a big hurdle. Eventually the mind

and emotions settle down again and the cells become more relaxed - not always

craving another hit - and a new balance develops. So - Congratulations!

 

Love,

 

David