Guest guest Report post Posted November 16, 2009 I was thinking of my facebook account and am really thinking about deleting it because there's no point, I can't be honest on it because my family will see. And it got me thinking, I'm just living a life of secrecy and I'm just tired of it. Why don't we have a physical group location? Is is just money (whcih land would cost money as well)? I don't know about all of yall but I'm just so tired of living in secrecy. My whole life feels like a lie, I can't be myself fully in this world because I must hide aspects of my self and what's really happening to me. Is this not backwards? Wouldn't it be better to be living in a place where you can be yourself fully and use the internet and phones for the people who basically wouldn't understand what you're going through? If it's just money, then with all the people who can help, why don't we get this underway, or have we just been procrastinating? why do we continue to live lives of refugees? when are we going to band together to form our home? craig Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 16, 2009 , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > I was thinking of my facebook account and am really thinking about deleting it because there's no point, I can't be honest on it because my family will see. And it got me thinking, I'm just living a life of secrecy and I'm just tired of it. Why don't we have a physical group location? Is is just money (whcih land would cost money as well)? I don't know about all of yall but I'm just so tired of living in secrecy. My whole life feels like a lie, I can't be myself fully in this world because I must hide aspects of my self and what's really happening to me. Is this not backwards? Wouldn't it be better to be living in a place where you can be yourself fully and use the internet and phones for the people who basically wouldn't understand what you're going through? If it's just money, then with all the people who can help, why don't we get this underway, or have we just been procrastinating? why do we continue to live lives of refugees? when are we going to band together to form our home? > > > craig > I wanted to exclude and and Bradly, and all other's who help behind the scenes in my question about procrastinating. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 16, 2009 Hey phoenix, i feel what you mean, to be able be yourself is hard, most of my friends from the old days can't seem to follow my stories when being told. I hardly talk to anyone anymore about it. or it has to be a person, at that moment who'm i've just encountered. and then they mostly tell the same thing over and over. you need help man. you can't do this alone. we are all alone on this path. but we can learn from eachothers stories. even if what being told seems stupid, out of order, or anything... we can only get there together... we need eachother even if we still walk the path alone, we still need eachother but to exclude others, hmm, have some trouble with that... plus, government has technology that can track a human... i've seen this a few time... it's like authorities are all over my a*s how can one keep up like that, it's hard enough already, without the pressure of the outside... On Mon, Nov 16, 2009 at 11:05 PM, phoenix.ing9 <phoenix.ing9wrote: > > > > > --- In <%40ya\ hoogroups.com>, > " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > > > I was thinking of my facebook account and am really thinking about > deleting it because there's no point, I can't be honest on it because my > family will see. And it got me thinking, I'm just living a life of secrecy > and I'm just tired of it. Why don't we have a physical group location? Is is > just money (whcih land would cost money as well)? I don't know about all of > yall but I'm just so tired of living in secrecy. My whole life feels like a > lie, I can't be myself fully in this world because I must hide aspects of my > self and what's really happening to me. Is this not backwards? Wouldn't it > be better to be living in a place where you can be yourself fully and use > the internet and phones for the people who basically wouldn't understand > what you're going through? If it's just money, then with all the people who > can help, why don't we get this underway, or have we just been > procrastinating? why do we continue to live lives of refugees? when are we > going to band together to form our home? > > > > > > craig > > > > I wanted to exclude and and Bradly, and all other's who help > behind the scenes in my question about procrastinating. > > > -- ShinSham DTL Heer Lorcan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 16, 2009 Craig, I was thinking that maybe we aren't meant to live in an isolated group unto ourselves but are to be out among others quietly 'radiating' kundalini energy to one and all. And, if actions speak louder than words, you shouldn't have to worry about who you can tell what; just live your life and hopefully people will notice and perhaps improve their own behaviors as a result of being near you. My thoughts, Carolyn , " phoenix.ing9 " wrote: > >why don't we get this underway, or have we just been procrastinating? why do we continue to live lives of refugees? when are we going to band together to form our home? > > > craig > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 16, 2009 Dear Craig, Even if money was provided and a place built and a community of K folk gathered it would not change much for me in my situation... I could not just up and go live in this community... I am not sure that I would want to anyway... I am not sure it really would be progress...but that is just my very first reaction... It is an interesting proposition. Your post has prompted me to write about my own secrecy with K... I feel a long post coming on ! I hope I am authentic to those I love although they are unaware of my K awakening. I cannot speak of K to my sisters and certainly not to my father..... it would upset him and trouble him no end and I would not wish that burden on him. My tradition is christian and catholic and K is not on the radar at all. If I, who am experiencing K, still have issues and questioning arising, then how can I then speak of it to those who do not know of K, with out burdening some folks and providing entertainment for others I have envied those from the eastern traditions because I imagne that speaking about K must be easier for them. Secrecy must not be such an issue...Perhaps that is incorret but it is my perception. I have since coming here shared more and more with my husband and I am supported and loved very much by him. I am not absolutly alone in my " real world " with this awakening..although I also am fully alone. I was actually directed by K to speak to two of my older children about K, not in fine detail but they were good conversations and recently when I told them I was being directed to eat like a vegan they didn't bat an eye lid...lol! Who knows what the future holds...maybe I will always be secretive about K... or perhaps I will begin to tell some of my friends when directed to do so... I am still struggling to surrender fully, I am often in conflict and I still have doubt about what I have been blessed to receive... I know that seems silly but doubt does return here and I cannot deny it. Craig, I know for me I will have to come fully home to me first...perhaps then I can let the secrecy go fully. As of this moment in time secrecy protects me, it allows me to float, swim and sink in the ocean of Kundalini knowing that my " performances " are not not being observed or judged... for me there is enough pressure from my own ego without adding the egos of others into the mix. I am so grateful for the community here. It is very real and present for me. I have also a huge longing to meet everyone here and I know I will meet many of you at some stage, of this I have no doubt. I will come to the states or you will come to Ireland. Craig can I ask, what difference would a real bricks and morter place make in your life. If it existed tomorrow what would you be doing differently? Could those changes you might make be implimented without the bricks and morter? Would it be possible for you to make it to one of the KAS seminars in December or in April and then you would get to meet people who would understand. At the seminars you would find a physical place for a long week end at least... perhaps there would be comfort in that. Love and blessings Julia , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > I was thinking of my facebook account and am really thinking about deleting it because there's no point, I can't be honest on it because my family will see. And it got me thinking, I'm just living a life of secrecy and I'm just tired of it. Why don't we have a physical group location? Is is just money (whcih land would cost money as well)? I don't know about all of yall but I'm just so tired of living in secrecy. My whole life feels like a lie, I can't be myself fully in this world because I must hide aspects of my self and what's really happening to me. Is this not backwards? Wouldn't it be better to be living in a place where you can be yourself fully and use the internet and phones for the people who basically wouldn't understand what you're going through? If it's just money, then with all the people who can help, why don't we get this underway, or have we just been procrastinating? why do we continue to live lives of refugees? when are we going to band together to form our home? > > > craig > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 16, 2009 PS... Don't be too hard on yourself Craig... No one know all the aspects of another... we all " hide " aspects of ourselves..... I am sure that is true also for Chrism, who is open to all about his Kundalini. I think we can be open and honest without revelaing all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 16, 2009 Dear Dear criag: I know how you feel have felt this way since first knowing what was happening. I have a big mouth so I was not quiet about my situation- my family all know - they do not understand necessarily but I do not keep it secret. My one brother has seen chrism's aura - he was really impressed- he has held his secret for many years of his premonitions - his knowing. I now have been more quiet with the K talk - not because I want to be but because of the work I do - however I talk freely of it with my cousins and uncle - they all know what I am going thru and what I feel I want to do. This openness that I encounter is not for all- and the feelings of wanting to be with other K active folks is not for all. I, like you, are free to go and be wherever the wind blows or the K sends- others have their responsibilities. And Yes like you I long for a place - we have this K ashram in cyberspace and that is a wonderful gift and it fills a need for many of us- yet - a real in the flesh place where some of us could be all the time and have room for company all the time well that is a dream of mine. All things in time so I am told - I am impatient - I have the added fact of age against me - given the stats I have a number of years left yet not nearly as long as I would like and time tends to move quickly. So a place would be sooooo very nice soon so at least in this lifetime I can enjoy the camaraderie of other K actives. We have some options for now- we talked of meeting at the seminar. We can plan on this and get ready- be ready - we can call we can write - we have each other and all the folks here in the group. And we have our dreams - does not hurt one bit to dream and envision a place - a place that can be a gathering place - a living place and a radiating place of love where we do what K folks do best - service to others in any and all ways - Or there could be many such places - where two or more gather - it is happening in the CA area with the seminars that have been held there - there is now a group of folks who know each other and who can share with each other on a more personal basis - it will happen in Phoenix and other places- it happened for me in Ojai - I now have close friends from that event and I met you and Zach - we are building our little community all the time... It may not be a physical place at this moment but it is a place of the heart - a place in our hearts - a place where we can hold each other close and feel safe and open- be open be whoever you feel like being say whatever you feel like saying and be accepted. A friend brought up how she was meditating on " love " there are all kinds of love - and the greatest of these is unconditional love- that is the love K folks offer to each other and to those around them. I offer you my unconditional love craig - you are part of my family and there will always be a place in my heart for you. One day there will be a physical place but til then you have a loving place to be... right here ... namaste dear fella... e Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 16, 2009 Hi Craig: Exclusive often excludes. A gated/private community keeps those in as much as keeps those out. I would encourage the thought to perhaps spend some time with groups of individuals who often are discriminated against, isolated, or considered a subculture within a prominant society. In sharing with such individuals or attending their groups you may experience a commonality and reciprocated understanding of how you may be experiencing your K in secrecy. Although your K experience is your all, it is not your all. Balance within self and within society is key. And oh believe me, there are those of us who wish we were made of money so that the seemingly opportunities would be instantly revealed, but it is the journey and the gathering of materials which is building your very said community. How blessed are we that the community spans the globe. If you can muster, come see the desert and it's K dwellers come April, yes. Love to you. Danielle , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > I was thinking of my facebook account and am really thinking about deleting it because there's no point, I can't be honest on it because Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 16, 2009 I would consider discretion the best approach and not secrecy. While we on this path consider that it is the optimum approach, there are many other `viable' paths out there. The kundalini approach is one that was and still is, to some extent, considered the approach for a selected few (in this context don't include the numerous quick fix supposed kundalini awakenings that are offered by many on the net for a small fee and by way of an attunement – they are far from the real thing). Many `religious' folk will shy away from discussion of the kundalini as much from ignorance as from not wanting to have their belief system `unhinged'. Remember that many on this path see or perceive things that others can't and which gives them a measure of added `security' as to the `correctness' of their approach. Is it fair to then to try to draw someone with different beliefs onto this path when you cannot give them any greater measure of tangible proof than they have with their own system? They cannot see or perceive that which you can. You must not remove what you cannot replace as that would leave them in a void and that would be wrong. We ALL have faith because we cannot see the whole picture due to our limitations, and the kundalini path is for those who are ready for it – they will find it when their time is right and if it is the right path for them. Let people know that you do follow a path but do not go into specifics. People will accept that. Some however will be drawn to you and want greater detail – in that case share it with them as they have been drawn to you for a reason. Blessings - Jonathan Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 17, 2009 guess i wasn't thinking of excluding anyone, and not a gated community but one where all are welcome, sort of like Elizabeth Lesser's Omega Institute for anyone and everyone of all races, religions, and hair styles and where one could go to to live for a while if they felt guided to...a place of love... , " iamwaitingmoon " <iamwaitingmoon wrote: > > Hi Craig: > Exclusive often excludes. A gated/private community keeps those in as much as keeps those out. I would encourage the thought to perhaps spend some time with groups of individuals who often are discriminated against, isolated, or considered a subculture within a prominant society. In sharing with such individuals or attending their groups you may experience a commonality and reciprocated understanding of how you may be experiencing your K in secrecy. Although your K experience is your all, it is not your all. Balance within self and within society is key. And oh believe me, there are those of us who wish we were made of money so that the seemingly opportunities would be instantly revealed, but it is the journey and the gathering of materials which is building your very said community. How blessed are we that the community spans the globe. > > If you can muster, come see the desert and it's K dwellers come April, yes. > > Love to you. > Danielle > > , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9@> wrote: > > > > I was thinking of my facebook account and am really thinking about deleting it because there's no point, I can't be honest on it because > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 17, 2009 I feel like my intent with my post and the way people are responding to it don't match up. Still hard for me to put into words what my heart's trying to convey...I would never try to draw someone onto this path, it would make me no different than all the missionaries who believe they are doing the right thing but are in actuality causing more suffering. another perspective that I see from what I posted to Danielle is: that when someone wants to really learn zen, they join a monastary and begin zen training (and yes there are other ways of learning zen than this more extreme approach). Are they being exclusive for having a system based around zen? I dont think so, its a path...and it's a blessing to have such a place to go to begin training, and the same is true for all the different paths, Christian, Taoist, Buddhist, etc. My question is why not? Why not have a place where we could have an option of more intense training with the freedom to go back out into society at any time, just because you live in a community doesn't mean you can't go out into 'regular' society for any amount of time of your choosing, you're not trapped in a certain plot of land. Sorry I got off on a tangent, it just came out as I was typing and I know that not all of this is tied to what you said in your post Jonathan. I don't know what else to add or say... craig , " jonrow_2914 " <jrowland wrote: > > > Remember that many on this path see or perceive things that others can't and which gives them a measure of added `security' as to the `correctness' of their approach. Is it fair to then to try to draw someone with different beliefs onto this path when you cannot give them any greater measure of tangible proof than they have with their own system? They cannot see or perceive that which you can. You must not remove what you cannot replace as that would leave them in a void and that would be wrong. We ALL have faith because we cannot see the whole picture due to our limitations, and the kundalini path is for those who are ready for it – they will find it when their time is right and if it is the right path for them. > > Blessings - Jonathan > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 17, 2009 thank you for your reply Julia. One of the hardest things for me right now is the dancing around the subject. Everythings really starting to tie into Kundalini, well my perception of it is growing, and it feels like I'm trying not to lie of say why I can't sleep some nights, and trying to use discretion but it feels like I can't go with the simplistic approach of telling the full truth and it feels tiring to 1. hold it in from those around me or option 2. to dance around the subject and try to be honest but at the same time not tell them the truth...I grew up as the ugly duckling in my family and now I'm just feeling more alienated than before with not being able to open up to anyone in my immediate surroundings... craig , " Julia " <jajahern wrote: > > > Dear Craig, > > Even if money was provided and a place built and a community of K folk gathered it would not change much for me in my situation... > I could not just up and go live in this community... > I am not sure that I would want to anyway... I am not sure it really would be progress...but that is just my very first reaction... > It is an interesting proposition. > > Your post has prompted me to write about my own secrecy with K... I feel a long post coming on ! > > I hope I am authentic to those I love although they are unaware of my K awakening. I cannot speak of K to my sisters and certainly not to my father..... it would upset him and trouble him no end and I would not wish that burden on him. My tradition is christian and catholic and K is not on the radar at all. If I, who am experiencing K, still have issues and questioning arising, then how can I then speak of it to those who do not know of K, with out burdening some folks and providing entertainment for others > I have envied those from the eastern traditions because I imagne that speaking about K must be easier for them. Secrecy must not be such an issue...Perhaps that is incorret but it is my perception. > I have since coming here shared more and more with my husband and I am supported and loved very much by him. I am not absolutly alone in my " real world " with this awakening..although I also am fully alone. I was actually directed by K to speak to two of my older children about K, not in fine detail but they were good conversations and recently when I told them I was being directed to eat like a vegan they didn't bat an eye lid...lol! > Who knows what the future holds...maybe I will always be secretive about K... or perhaps I will begin to tell some of my friends when directed to do so... I am still struggling to surrender fully, I am often in conflict and I still have doubt about what I have been blessed to receive... I know that seems silly but doubt does return here and I cannot deny it. > Craig, I know for me I will have to come fully home to me first...perhaps then I can let the secrecy go fully. As of this moment in time secrecy protects me, it allows me to float, swim and sink in the ocean of Kundalini knowing that my " performances " are not not being observed or judged... for me there is enough pressure from my own ego without adding the egos of others into the mix. I am so grateful for the community here. It is very real and present for me. I have also a huge longing to meet everyone here and I know I will meet many of you at some stage, of this I have no doubt. I will come to the states or you will come to Ireland. > > Craig can I ask, what difference would a real bricks and morter place make in your life. If it existed tomorrow what would you be doing differently? Could those changes you might make be implimented without the bricks and morter? > Would it be possible for you to make it to one of the KAS seminars in December or in April and then you would get to meet people who would understand. At the seminars you would find a physical place for a long week end at least... perhaps there would be comfort in that. > > Love and blessings > Julia > > > > , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9@> wrote: > > > > I was thinking of my facebook account and am really thinking about deleting it because there's no point, I can't be honest on it because my family will see. And it got me thinking, I'm just living a life of secrecy and I'm just tired of it. Why don't we have a physical group location? Is is just money (whcih land would cost money as well)? I don't know about all of yall but I'm just so tired of living in secrecy. My whole life feels like a lie, I can't be myself fully in this world because I must hide aspects of my self and what's really happening to me. Is this not backwards? Wouldn't it be better to be living in a place where you can be yourself fully and use the internet and phones for the people who basically wouldn't understand what you're going through? If it's just money, then with all the people who can help, why don't we get this underway, or have we just been procrastinating? why do we continue to live lives of refugees? when are we going to band together to form our home? > > > > > > craig > > > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 17, 2009 Oh I'm sorry, Craig. I didn't mean to imply that this is what you were meaning...this was just my personal anology. I had just come out of an unbearable migraine when writing this, so maybe should have thought through things more. I do understand what you are relaying, I just don't know how to articulate the large/larger scope of it back...it was more on the lines of blending. I think Denny wrote more-so what I was meaning. Blessings to you: Danielle , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > guess i wasn't thinking of excluding anyone, and not a gated community but one where all are welcome, sort of like Elizabeth Lesser's Omega Institute for anyone and everyone of all races, religions, and hair styles and where one could go to to live for a while if they felt guided to...a place of love... > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 17, 2009 lol, no worries, I'm starting to think that I should have thought through the title to use for my post more before using the one I chose...or maybe it's something I wrote in the post...don't know but anyways, love to you Danielle craig , " iamwaitingmoon " <iamwaitingmoon wrote: > > Oh I'm sorry, Craig. I didn't mean to imply that this is what you were meaning...this was just my personal anology. I had just come out of an unbearable migraine when writing this, so maybe should have thought through things more. I do understand what you are relaying, I just don't know how to articulate the large/larger scope of it back...it was more on the lines of blending. I think Denny wrote more-so what I was meaning. > > Blessings to you: > Danielle > > , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9@> wrote: > > > > guess i wasn't thinking of excluding anyone, and not a gated community but one where all are welcome, sort of like Elizabeth Lesser's Omega Institute for anyone and everyone of all races, religions, and hair styles and where one could go to to live for a while if they felt guided to...a place of love... > > > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 17, 2009 Craig- No problems- we all read words from our own perspective - we all interpret from our own experiences and beliefs. I understand your words one way and others other ways. In my mind you were very clear - a place to be - a place to live if able - an intended community -open to anyone with like values- being able to discuss your feelings, thoughts and desires about K- no proselytizing - just openness- yeah - I want the same - If someone is ready to listen they will if not then they will not. You were guided to bring these thoughts into the group. It gives all a chance to view how they feel on sharing the K info with others. I remember writing when I first learned of the K in me of how I wanted to shout it from the mountain top - and why not? I feel good that feeling of good I want to share and in my own way I do shout it out - I share with those who are ready to hear - I approach folks and let them decide on what they want to hear- but I share lots of things about me - and this is a major aspect of who I now am - so it is a natural step to share openly It is ok not to share - we each have our skills and gifts- mine happens to be the ability to draw those who need to know - another person who has this gift is swami nick in canada- he meets people on trains, in the office , at meetings , he gives talks on energy - I love his stories of how folks who know nothing of K are introduced to the energy and often to K because of his kindness and his willingness to share. We each are unique - we are unique in how the gift is presented and shared and served to others. Blessings - thank you for being open enough to share your feelings... e Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 17, 2009 Hi Craig, this was a great post!! it sure raised the energy of a lot of folks and got a lot of responses my take is a line from Chogyam Trungpa (The deceased tibetan buddhist teacher )) used to say to to his students " be yourself and the world will give you feedback " ..lol.. There are pros and cons to honesty. Personally, I wrote a book about a part of my awakening, was deeply truthful, and showed it to my mother..haha. I am showing it to some of the elders at my church and they think my writing is excellent yet are concerned about the graphic sexual experiences, and havnt quite figured out what to do with me Part of my truth is to introduce them to paradoxes which their current meaning making systems cant handle, with the hopes of somehow encouraging growth... (my secret agenda here..lol) I feel that when you are going through the intense personal journey of healing and the emotional rollercoastes, its essential to have people to share with, and this group serves part of that function. There is also discretion, as if they have no reference point for what you are talking about, its impossible for them to understand. In the end, you gotto drop the egoic need to be understood in the world, and relentlessly seek to understand others.... that said, its a lonely path and the awakened heart seeks to share, to understand and be understood.. love and communion Bruce , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > I was thinking of my facebook account and am really thinking about deleting it because there's no point, I can't be honest on it because my family will see. And it got me thinking, I'm just living a life of secrecy and I'm just tired of it. Why don't we have a physical group location? Is is just money (whcih land would cost money as well)? I don't know about all of yall but I'm just so tired of living in secrecy. My whole life feels like a lie, I can't be myself fully in this world because I must hide aspects of my self and what's really happening to me. Is this not backwards? Wouldn't it be better to be living in a place where you can be yourself fully and use the internet and phones for the people who basically wouldn't understand what you're going through? If it's just money, then with all the people who can help, why don't we get this underway, or have we just been procrastinating? why do we continue to live lives of refugees? when are we going to band together to form our home? > > > craig > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 17, 2009 Craig, It sounds to me like you're thirsting for a more genuine connection with your family, so that you can just beeeeeeeeee yourself, K and all. Peace & Love, Shaz Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 17, 2009 Dear Craig, I sometimes would like a magic wand and if I had one in my hand now I would wave it three times and your wishes would come true.... You would be able to go to the place of love that you speak of... you would be at peace and have no conflict about how to express the truth.... you would turn into the swan that you know you actually are.... I am smiling now Craig because I know that is exaclty what K is doing in your life...As I type she is granting you all those wishes but just not an abrakadabra delivery of your hearts desire.... it takes a bit longer than that with K.... lol! Just threw the magic wand in the bin..lol! I want to thank you for writing the post and for putting your vision here.... a place of love.... On further reflection I think I would like to visit too and stay awhile. It has been also very helpful for me to have written about my own secrecy and thanks for prompting that too. Lots of love and hugs being sent from here Love Julia , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > thank you for your reply Julia. One of the hardest things for me right now is the dancing around the subject. Everythings really starting to tie into Kundalini, well my perception of it is growing, and it feels like I'm trying not to lie of say why I can't sleep some nights, and trying to use discretion but it feels like I can't go with the simplistic approach of telling the full truth and it feels tiring to 1. hold it in from those around me or option 2. to dance around the subject and try to be honest but at the same time not tell them the truth...I grew up as the ugly duckling in my family and now I'm just feeling more alienated than before with not being able to open up to anyone in my immediate surroundings... > > craig > > , " Julia " <jajahern@> wrote: > > > > > > Dear Craig, > > > > Even if money was provided and a place built and a community of K folk gathered it would not change much for me in my situation... > > I could not just up and go live in this community... > > I am not sure that I would want to anyway... I am not sure it really would be progress...but that is just my very first reaction... > > It is an interesting proposition. > > > > Your post has prompted me to write about my own secrecy with K... I feel a long post coming on ! > > > > I hope I am authentic to those I love although they are unaware of my K awakening. I cannot speak of K to my sisters and certainly not to my father..... it would upset him and trouble him no end and I would not wish that burden on him. My tradition is christian and catholic and K is not on the radar at all. If I, who am experiencing K, still have issues and questioning arising, then how can I then speak of it to those who do not know of K, with out burdening some folks and providing entertainment for others > > I have envied those from the eastern traditions because I imagne that speaking about K must be easier for them. Secrecy must not be such an issue...Perhaps that is incorret but it is my perception. > > I have since coming here shared more and more with my husband and I am supported and loved very much by him. I am not absolutly alone in my " real world " with this awakening..although I also am fully alone. I was actually directed by K to speak to two of my older children about K, not in fine detail but they were good conversations and recently when I told them I was being directed to eat like a vegan they didn't bat an eye lid...lol! > > Who knows what the future holds...maybe I will always be secretive about K... or perhaps I will begin to tell some of my friends when directed to do so... I am still struggling to surrender fully, I am often in conflict and I still have doubt about what I have been blessed to receive... I know that seems silly but doubt does return here and I cannot deny it. > > Craig, I know for me I will have to come fully home to me first...perhaps then I can let the secrecy go fully. As of this moment in time secrecy protects me, it allows me to float, swim and sink in the ocean of Kundalini knowing that my " performances " are not not being observed or judged... for me there is enough pressure from my own ego without adding the egos of others into the mix. I am so grateful for the community here. It is very real and present for me. I have also a huge longing to meet everyone here and I know I will meet many of you at some stage, of this I have no doubt. I will come to the states or you will come to Ireland. > > > > Craig can I ask, what difference would a real bricks and morter place make in your life. If it existed tomorrow what would you be doing differently? Could those changes you might make be implimented without the bricks and morter? > > Would it be possible for you to make it to one of the KAS seminars in December or in April and then you would get to meet people who would understand. At the seminars you would find a physical place for a long week end at least... perhaps there would be comfort in that. > > > > Love and blessings > > Julia > > > > > > > > , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9@> wrote: > > > > > > I was thinking of my facebook account and am really thinking about deleting it because there's no point, I can't be honest on it because my family will see. And it got me thinking, I'm just living a life of secrecy and I'm just tired of it. Why don't we have a physical group location? Is is just money (whcih land would cost money as well)? I don't know about all of yall but I'm just so tired of living in secrecy. My whole life feels like a lie, I can't be myself fully in this world because I must hide aspects of my self and what's really happening to me. Is this not backwards? Wouldn't it be better to be living in a place where you can be yourself fully and use the internet and phones for the people who basically wouldn't understand what you're going through? If it's just money, then with all the people who can help, why don't we get this underway, or have we just been procrastinating? why do we continue to live lives of refugees? when are we going to band together to form our home? > > > > > > > > > craig > > > > > > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 17, 2009 Hey Craig, I know what you mean. I have been toying with the idea of doing something similar. It would be nice, and if there were other people who really wanted to do that I would probably be down. However I know that there are still some worldly things in my life plan that need to be accomplished/finished, before I can do anything like that. As much as I would like to drop everything and live off the land or in and ashram, its just not possible right now. In the meantime I think the lesson in all of this is to learn to let go of all feelings of separation and really live in oneness with everyone and everything around you. Bring those wonderful feelings to you instead of longing for something that is outside of yourself. I feel you 100%, this is something I am struggling with as well, especially when it comes to family bonding and people in general. Hang in there. love, -Matt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 18, 2009 lol! you showed that to your mother?! Now that takes guts . that's funny about the elders in your church too. blessings to you Bruce craig , " BruceO " <bruce_oom wrote: > > Hi Craig, > > this was a great post!! it sure raised the energy of a lot of folks and got a lot of responses > > my take is a line from Chogyam Trungpa (The deceased tibetan buddhist teacher )) used to say to to his students " be yourself and the world will give you feedback " ..lol.. > > There are pros and cons to honesty. Personally, I wrote a book about a part of my awakening, was deeply truthful, and showed it to my mother..haha. I am showing it to some of the elders at my church and they think my writing is excellent yet are concerned about the graphic sexual experiences, and havnt quite figured out what to do with me Part of my truth is to introduce them to paradoxes which their current meaning making systems cant handle, with the hopes of somehow encouraging growth... (my secret agenda here..lol) I feel that when you are going through the intense personal journey of healing and the emotional rollercoastes, its essential to have people to share with, and this group serves part of that function. > > There is also discretion, as if they have no reference point for what you are talking about, its impossible for them to understand. In the end, you gotto drop the egoic need to be understood in the world, and relentlessly seek to understand others.... > > that said, its a lonely path and the awakened heart seeks to share, to understand and be understood.. > > love and communion > Bruce Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 18, 2009 Dear Craig, You mention a physical group location. Something like this did cross my mind. This group is scattered far and wide all over the world though, so I'm not sure of how the practicalities would work. This would be up to to decide, however he is directed and wishes to direct each of us. Also, there are drawbacks with forming largescale organisations and classifying things and therefore restrictions would arise. There are so many of these organisations, and many people are put off by power struggles and abuses that inevitably occur. Maybe our path is to be living examples in each of our communities all over the world. Love, Sandra , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > I was thinking of my facebook account and am really thinking about deleting it because there's no point, I can't be honest on it because my family will see. And it got me thinking, I'm just living a life of secrecy and I'm just tired of it. Why don't we have a physical group location? Is is just money (whcih land would cost money as well)? I don't know about all of yall but I'm just so tired of living in secrecy. My whole life feels like a lie, I can't be myself fully in this world because I must hide aspects of my self and what's really happening to me. Is this not backwards? Wouldn't it be better to be living in a place where you can be yourself fully and use the internet and phones for the people who basically wouldn't understand what you're going through? If it's just money, then with all the people who can help, why don't we get this underway, or have we just been procrastinating? why do we continue to live lives of refugees? when are we going to band together to form our home? > > > craig > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 18, 2009 Chrism, please forgive me if this is not the right thing to do...I wanted to say that this is not just my idea that sprung up out of the blue. has thought about it too. And if anyone is interested they can join his sister group and we can get the ball rolling more... Intentional-Kundalini-Community-of-Home/ I'm done with this thread now. I understand that it's not for everybody but this is highly disappointing... craig Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 18, 2009 Dear Craig, Thanks for your thoughts and for the information. I understand how close this issue is to your heart, and that waiting is difficult. Love, Sandra , " phoenix.ing9 " <phoenix.ing9 wrote: > > Chrism, please forgive me if this is not the right thing to do...I wanted to say that this is not just my idea that sprung up out of the blue. has thought about it too. And if anyone is interested they can join his sister group and we can get the ball rolling more... > > Intentional-Kundalini-Community-of-Home/ > > I'm done with this thread now. I understand that it's not for everybody but this is highly disappointing... > > craig > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 18, 2009 I sent you an email offline. Love: Danielle / > > I'm done with this thread now. I understand that it's not for everybody but this is highly disappointing... > > craig > Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guest Report post Posted November 22, 2009 Secrecy We all hold in how we truly feel most of the time anyway so, as I see it, no big deal about Kundalini. Actually it is inappropriate to express all of our feelings and beliefs anyway. At work I can't just express all of my feelings with everyone, even if they ask. The same is true with family, with friends, etc. There are things that we don't tell our parents. We go to parties, meetings, work and the store and hold back 90% of what is going on inside. This is just how it is. Imagine if everyone expressed everything they felt all of the time! What a mess it would be. I understand the need to share how we feel but that is just not how it works except with things like baseball, the weather, taxes, and few other things. I don't want to get too hard edged about this but…We do live a life of secrecy. If we are lucky we have a good friend or two that we can honestly share with. Share here, it is good, we care The monastery is in your heart The " more intense practice " IS in society and how we interact with others and how we balance our inner and outer lives rich Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
