melancholy + ego issues

[Guest guest]

I have been very melancholic this evening. I'm wearing this bright yellow shirt

(no, I'm not in public and feeling most balanced and energetic in a year.

Even so, and having tried " inner joy " , I can't get over this. Kinda feels like I

need to feel like this for a while now.

 

Some ego issues like envy, not coming from the heart, total lack of

unconditional love etc. are arising. And the ego in general. I thought I was

over these already. Must be the Shaktipat?

 

Part of the melancholy is probably because I had high expectations for the

Shaktipat and not all of them have been met. I know it isn't even half way

trough, it's supposed to be subtle and so on, but I'm still feeling this way.

 

Few hours ago Dhyana posted this " Examine your expectations, and realize that if

you did not have expectations then you would not experience disappointment. "

Gotta chew on that.

 

Maybe some of you have gone trough this and could help?

 

Thank You,

Aarni