Surrender

[Guest guest]

Dear Kundalini/Holy Spirit,

i am a defective product even with years of Jesuit education/programming that

led to my school's spiritual director to pronounce me a rotten graduate. i

studied you in our religious curriculum and i got an F grade on you. i did not

know you enough then and i did not care. i led such a " wonderful life " in

transgressing Your ninth and tenth, spent a year in jail as a political

prisoner. married my first for the heck of it, married my second cause i needed

one. Treated her like a work horse while perfecting my golf swing and not

holding any job and all the while left my two kids with a kindly teenager asking

to take care of them in exchange for a place to stay and she's still with us

after all these years of mental abuse. And to think that i have the audacity of

pointing an accusing finger when my wife was driven to another man's arms.

Stupid stupid stupid me.

Seven years i was tormented.

In my anguish i found you.

Now i found your angel, chrism.

i surrender all that is not you in me.

i know i am rotten.

But please do not throw me against the wall.

Pinch me first if that is alright with you.

Your child too,

ty