Becoming Homeless

[Guest guest]

For the past 10 years I have had dreams of being homeless that would

irritate me to no end upon waking. As I have worked real hard at

healing my trauma and inner turmoil the homeless dreams have almost

stopped.

 

Now, on a rare occasion when I have a homeless dream I immediately

find a home. I had one recently and went into someone's home without

invitation and was accepted. I started to look for a job in order to

get my own place.

 

Here is the kicker. I want to be homeless in waking life for a

while. I want to move to Arizona and live on the campground in a

tent and " just be " . I only want books to read, and maybe some sort

of craft set. Of course I will need food and water and the ability

to bathe. No attachments to things or people though.

 

I watched a movie about 6 months ago called " Into the Wild " that was

based on a true story. A young man finishes college and then decides

to be homeless and travel. He didn't want to be part of societies

constant peruse of material things. I wont tell anyone the rest so I

won't spoil it. But I totally understood his character.

 

Being homeless makes me think that there will be less ego involved.

If my ego is removed I could speed up this healing process while

being outside with nature, reading and working on creativity.

 

Of course I can't go because I have a young child and I'm married,

but this thought has occupied my mind for a while and it's starting

to get intense.

 

I don't know what to think of it, but I do know that would be very

hurtful to my daughter and husband to do this and I get the feeling

that the law of attraction is working on me and that something will

happen to cause me to have no reason to stay where I'm at. I don't

want anything to happen to the people I love just so I can go be

homeless and experience the shame of having no real purpose or

identity.

 

Any thoughts on this unusual thinking? Am I crazier than I thought

or is something going on inside of me that can't be explained? Or

maybe someone has heard of this and understands it. Please enlighten

me if anyone knows where this is coming from.

 

I told my therapist about it and he didn't like the idea. But, at

least he didn't try to push an anti-psychotic drug on me.

 

Tammy

[Guest guest]

It sounds like there's something missing in your life, and you're desperately

trying to find

it. It's good that you realize what kind of harmful affect that could have on

your family.

You're gonna have to find a way to balance both your family and your desire to

be free and

adventurous.

 

I'm sure all of this is already obvious to you. Is there something else besides

homelessness that you could practice and still be rewarding? You say that you

want to

release yourself of ego and the material things that society considers

important, to the

point of obsession. You need to realize that you are actually holding yourself

hostage by

this desire, and that it is ego based.

 

Forgive me if I sound condescending, because that is not what I'm trying to

convey. I have

just witnessed many people destroy themselves in similar situations. Sometimes

the

greatest challenge is to just let it all go. You may just find that the freedom

you're looking

for is already at your feet.

 

Rick

 

, " Tammy "

<earned_wings wrote:

>

> For the past 10 years I have had dreams of being homeless that would

> irritate me to no end upon waking. As I have worked real hard at

> healing my trauma and inner turmoil the homeless dreams have almost

> stopped.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Tammy, further to Rick's useful points, I suggest building an open space inside your mind to expand your freedom. Let go of the notion that there is a fence around you made from the roles that you play within and outside of your family. Do this in meditation - see yourself gently and lovingly as a newly-born spontaneous person without belief systems or obligations to hold you back. Quietly let your meditation act as a blank canvas for fresh and unfiltered insights, grasping the present moment without cross-referencing it to any idea of how these mesh with your present circumstances. In passively watching the dance of the mind, peace will soon replace your restlessness. Love - John

=========================

Tammy wrote:"For the past 10 years I have had dreams of being homeless ....... I want to be homeless in waking life for a while ... and just "be" . No attachments to things or people..... Being homeless makes me think that there will be less ego involved. If my ego is removed I could speed up this healing process while being outside with nature, reading and working on creativity. Of course I can't go because I have a young child and I'm married, but this thought has occupied my mind for a while and it's starting to get intense. .. I don't know what to think of it, but I do know that would be very hurtful to my daughter and husband to do this and I don't want anything to happen to the people I love just so I can go be homeless and experience the shame of having no real purpose or identity Any thoughts on this thinking? Tammy."

[Guest guest]

Hi Tammy,Hi John and Rick also,I would agree with all the previous points.My experience of what you speak is what I call " coming home " . The spirit or essence in you is wanting to take its place, to be more active in your life. John is saying the same thing about an open space and removing the fence your roles have put you in.

Take it slowly, slowly and simply, talk it over with your husband, not about going to Arizona but that you want to live more of who you are, presuming he is kosher with you in this space. It is a time of great joy, the energy wants you (IMHO) to be more active in the world. Moving you on to be a beacon, direction giver or a seer. We are all those to different people but when the energy moves you, you become defined. You have free will, if this is fearful to you, you can leave it as a dream experience.

I am bed bound with one bad dose of flu and I watched a movie last night called the " Peaceful Warrior " , never saw it before, was very real for me, might be worth seeing, think it was based on a book by a guy called Dan Millen or Millman.

The spirit moves in mysterious way, lucky you.Tkare,Daniel2008/12/13 <...>

 

 

 

 

 

Hi Tammy, further to Rick's useful points, I suggest building an open space inside your mind to expand your freedom. Let go of the notion that there is a fence around you made from the roles that you play within and outside of your family. Do this in meditation - see yourself gently and lovingly as a newly-born spontaneous person without belief systems or obligations to hold you back. Quietly let your meditation act as a blank canvas for fresh and unfiltered insights, grasping the present moment without cross-referencing it to any idea of how these mesh with your present circumstances. In passively watching the dance of the mind, peace will soon replace your restlessness. Love - John

=========================

Tammy wrote: " For the past 10 years I have had dreams of being homeless ....... I want to be homeless in waking life for a while ... and just " be " . No attachments to things or people..... Being homeless makes me think that there will be less ego involved. If my ego is removed I could speed up this healing process while being outside with nature, reading and working on creativity. Of course I can't go because I have a young child and I'm married, but this thought has occupied my mind for a while and it's starting to get intense. .. I don't know what to think of it, but I do know that would be very hurtful to my daughter and husband to do this and I don't want anything to happen to the people I love just so I can go be homeless and experience the shame of having no real purpose or identity Any thoughts on this thinking? Tammy. "

 

 

 

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[Guest guest]

Dear Tammy,

Please come to work with me for a week or so before you head out on this journey. Most often, homelessness is not a choice; and the people who find themselves in this situation would love to trade places with you or anyone of us who has a roof over our heads. There is a reason I know who these people are when they walk into the lobby seeking a cup of coffee, food, or bathroom. They are ravaged, physically and mentally. Their eyes are hollow, as are their cheekbones from hunger and lack of teeth. What you are describing is not homelessness; it is a trip to a resort. Sitting outside, reading, working on creativity, and having your food provided is not homelessness. A church put a homeless couple into a room for the night as an act of charity for the season. These people broke my hearts when they wandered into the lobby, barefooted, and had to be forced to leave the next day. I wondered if

this act actually helped these people. Yes, a night of a comfortable bed, a hot shower, and a continental breakfast was nice; but the next day, being thrown back out to the streets. (And they did not want to leave) I couldn't help but think the money would have been better spent on blankets, coats, or food.

 

Thank you for sharing these innermost thoughts. All young mothers probably have had the thought of leaving home. It is a hard job, and sometimes seems that the hard work does not reap benefit or appreciation at the moment. But in time, it does. It is returned to you hundredfold. A documentary, based on a lifechoice, may be different from reality-based existence where there is no choice.

 

Just some thoughts before I go out again to face the hungry, homeless, and sometimes mindless reminder of the poverty that does exist in our country today.

 

Dear Tammy, you are in my prayers, as I had some of these same thoughts years ago, maybe not wanting to be homeless, but definitely free. Perhaps you are too young to remember the words of Janice Joplin, "Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose."

 

Namaste,

 

Julie--- On Sat, 12/13/08, Tammy <earned_wings wrote:

Tammy <earned_wings Becoming Homeless Date: Saturday, December 13, 2008, 2:41 AM

 

 

For the past 10 years I have had dreams of being homeless that would irritate me to no end upon waking. As I have worked real hard at healing my trauma and inner turmoil the homeless dreams have almost stopped.Now, on a rare occasion when I have a homeless dream I immediately find a home. I had one recently and went into someone's home without invitation and was accepted. I started to look for a job in order to get my own place.Here is the kicker. I want to be homeless in waking life for a while. I want to move to Arizona and live on the campground in a tent and "just be". I only want books to read, and maybe some sort of craft set. Of course I will need food and water and the ability to bathe. No attachments to things or people though.I watched a movie about 6 months ago called "Into the Wild" that was based on a true story. A young man finishes college and then decides to be

homeless and travel. He didn't want to be part of societies constant peruse of material things. I wont tell anyone the rest so I won't spoil it. But I totally understood his character.Being homeless makes me think that there will be less ego involved. If my ego is removed I could speed up this healing process while being outside with nature, reading and working on creativity.Of course I can't go because I have a young child and I'm married, but this thought has occupied my mind for a while and it's starting to get intense.I don't know what to think of it, but I do know that would be very hurtful to my daughter and husband to do this and I get the feeling that the law of attraction is working on me and that something will happen to cause me to have no reason to stay where I'm at. I don't want anything to happen to the people I love just so I can go be homeless and experience the shame of

having no real purpose or identity.Any thoughts on this unusual thinking? Am I crazier than I thought or is something going on inside of me that can't be explained? Or maybe someone has heard of this and understands it. Please enlighten me if anyone knows where this is coming from. I told my therapist about it and he didn't like the idea. But, at least he didn't try to push an anti-psychotic drug on me. Tammy

[Guest guest]

Tammy,

 

I completely resonate with your feeling. I am going through something

similar. I saw 'Into the Wild' 5 weeks back, and just wanted to do

this thing, for the sake of experiencing how it feels to

be 'homeless'. I m sure we all know what such actions could mean to

each of our lives. This kind of urge to break free and live life on

an existential realm (living life for today, not storing for

tomorrow.. etc) is somthing that is inherent in each one of us. It

manifests in each of us in a different way.

 

Siddartha experienced it before being buddha, Shankaracharya took to

sanyasa at the age of 8 and gave advaitha to the common man. This

yearning is quite natural for the human spirit to be free, to be one

with nature and spirit, and to find itself and its root self, the

cosmos.

 

My advice to you. Follow your inner voice. I m sure you will agree

that being homeless is not a bad situation, as long as you are

comletley ready to walk the path. Having said this, there will be an

impact on your current life, your family and kid. This moral dilemma

is one of the painful choices to make. it may not be very painful if

you know that you are doing this for urself. One can work out all

this.

 

As others have indicated, Try out getting out and living in a resort,

just do something for yourself that you wanted to do for a long time.

Take a long walk trip or pilgrimage to wilderness. You will find

oneness in yourself.

 

Having said this, i think we can be free whereever we are, in

whatever we do, allow our free will to guide us. This could be in

wilderness or in our living rooms, kitchen or board rooms.

 

What is calling you? Respect the calling. Be one with the calling.

 

Love and blessings, keshav

 

, " Tammy "

<earned_wings wrote:

>

> For the past 10 years I have had dreams of being homeless that

would

> irritate me to no end upon waking. As I have worked real hard at

> healing my trauma and inner turmoil the homeless dreams have almost

> stopped.

>

> Now, on a rare occasion when I have a homeless dream I immediately

> find a home. I had one recently and went into someone's home

without

> invitation and was accepted. I started to look for a job in order

to

> get my own place.

>

> Here is the kicker. I want to be homeless in waking life for a

> while. I want to move to Arizona and live on the campground in a

> tent and " just be " . I only want books to read, and maybe some sort

> of craft set. Of course I will need food and water and the ability

> to bathe. No attachments to things or people though.

>

> I watched a movie about 6 months ago called " Into the Wild " that

was

> based on a true story. A young man finishes college and then

decides

> to be homeless and travel. He didn't want to be part of societies

> constant peruse of material things. I wont tell anyone the rest so

I

> won't spoil it. But I totally understood his character.

>

> Being homeless makes me think that there will be less ego

involved.

> If my ego is removed I could speed up this healing process while

> being outside with nature, reading and working on creativity.

>

> Of course I can't go because I have a young child and I'm married,

> but this thought has occupied my mind for a while and it's starting

> to get intense.

>

> I don't know what to think of it, but I do know that would be very

> hurtful to my daughter and husband to do this and I get the feeling

> that the law of attraction is working on me and that something will

> happen to cause me to have no reason to stay where I'm at. I don't

> want anything to happen to the people I love just so I can go be

> homeless and experience the shame of having no real purpose or

> identity.

>

> Any thoughts on this unusual thinking? Am I crazier than I thought

> or is something going on inside of me that can't be explained? Or

> maybe someone has heard of this and understands it. Please

enlighten

> me if anyone knows where this is coming from.

>

> I told my therapist about it and he didn't like the idea. But, at

> least he didn't try to push an anti-psychotic drug on me.

>

> Tammy

>

[Guest guest]

And how does this make you feel?

 

I would imagine your therapist had a field day with this, with some

mention of examining the values you have the social structure that

you are within. My opinion would be that life isn't what you had

imagined it to be when you were younger planning your future and

setting goals for that future life. Not stating that you are

disappointed in the direction in which your life is going but

realization that even simply occupying a space in today's society

comes with baggage and stress.

 

In dream analysis a house or home may refer to a personal environment

the people themselves and in your dreams you would be reverting to a

pervious life style at home where parents see to your needs. When you

go to other houses it could be that you are investigating other

peoples lives for comparison and evaluation of how you would find

life in this new environment.

 

Being homeless may be a dream expression advocated by kundalini.

There is nothing wrong with questioning our lives as they are or

where they are leading us. In my opinion you have a healthy intellect

in doing this, as it is very balanced with reality situations. I have

included a link to a good dream interpretation web sight that follows

most classical dream interpretation by C.G. Jung and others.

 

http://www.dreammoods.com/

 

http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/h2.htm

 

Homeless

 

To dream that you are homeless, indicates that you are feeling

insecure. You are unsure of yourself and where you are headed.

 

House

 

To see a house in your dream, represents your own soul and self.

Specific rooms in the house indicate a specific aspect of your

psyche. In general, the attic represents your intellect, the basement

represents the unconscious, etc. If the house is empty, then it

indicates feelings of insecurity. If the house is shifting, then it

suggests that you are going through some personal changes and

changing your belief system.

 

To dream that you are cleaning your house, signifies your need to

clear out your thoughts and getting rid of old ways. You are seeking

self-improvement.

 

If you live with others in your waking life, but dream that you are

living alone, suggests that you need to take new steps toward

independence. You need to accept responsibilities and be more self-

reliant.

 

To see an old, run-down house in your dream, represents your old

beliefs, attitudes and how you used to think or feel. A situation in

your current life may be bringing about those same old attitudes and

feelings. Alternatively, the old house may symbolize your need to

update you mode of thinking. To dream that your house is damaged,

indicates your waking concerns about the condition of your house.

 

To see a new house in your dream, indicates that you are entering

into a new phase or new area in your life. If you are locked out of

the house, then it represents rejection and insecurity. You feel you

are being left behind.

 

To dream that your house is broken into, suggests that you are

feeling violated. It may refer to a particular relationship or

current situation in your life. Alternatively, it indicates that some

unconscious material is attempting to make itself known. There are

some aspects of yourself that you have denied.

 

To dream of a haunted house, signifies unfinished emotional business,

related to your childhood family, dead relatives, or repressed

memories and feelings.

 

To dream that a house has disappeared, indicates that you are not

feeling grounded. You feel uprooted by a particular circumstance or

relationship in your life.

 

 

, " Tammy "

<earned_wings wrote:

>

> For the past 10 years I have had dreams of being homeless that

would

> irritate me to no end upon waking. As I have worked real hard at

> healing my trauma and inner turmoil the homeless dreams have almost

> stopped..................

 

 

 

> Tammy

>

[Guest guest]

Beloved Tammy,

 

This sure sounds like some great material

for poetry. A beautiful place to be and share.

 

Love, dhyana

 

 

, " Tammy "

<earned_wings wrote:

>

> For the past 10 years I have had dreams of being homeless that would

> irritate me to no end upon waking. As I have worked real hard at

> healing my trauma and inner turmoil the homeless dreams have almost

> stopped.

>

> Now, on a rare occasion when I have a homeless dream I immediately

> find a home. I had one recently and went into someone's home without

> invitation and was accepted. I started to look for a job in order to

> get my own place.

>

> Here is the kicker. I want to be homeless in waking life for a

> while. I want to move to Arizona and live on the campground in a

> tent and " just be " . I only want books to read, and maybe some sort

> of craft set. Of course I will need food and water and the ability

> to bathe. No attachments to things or people though.

>

> I watched a movie about 6 months ago called " Into the Wild " that was

> based on a true story. A young man finishes college and then decides

> to be homeless and travel. He didn't want to be part of societies

> constant peruse of material things. I wont tell anyone the rest so I

> won't spoil it. But I totally understood his character.

>

> Being homeless makes me think that there will be less ego involved.

> If my ego is removed I could speed up this healing process while

> being outside with nature, reading and working on creativity.

>

> Of course I can't go because I have a young child and I'm married,

> but this thought has occupied my mind for a while and it's starting

> to get intense.

>

> I don't know what to think of it, but I do know that would be very

> hurtful to my daughter and husband to do this and I get the feeling

> that the law of attraction is working on me and that something will

> happen to cause me to have no reason to stay where I'm at. I don't

> want anything to happen to the people I love just so I can go be

> homeless and experience the shame of having no real purpose or

> identity.

>

> Any thoughts on this unusual thinking? Am I crazier than I thought

> or is something going on inside of me that can't be explained? Or

> maybe someone has heard of this and understands it. Please enlighten

> me if anyone knows where this is coming from.

>

> I told my therapist about it and he didn't like the idea. But, at

> least he didn't try to push an anti-psychotic drug on me.

>

> Tammy

>

[Guest guest]

Hi keshav, Yes this is what I'm feeling, however, there is some

validity to what some others have said with regard to freedom.

 

I interpret dreams and have been for almost 5 years and I finally

figured out what the homeless dreams meant about a month ago, then

bam I want to be homeless? I find this very ironic!

 

I don't have time to reply to each post right now and maybe not for a

couple of days. I want to address each post and thank each person

for taking the time to reply. Also, I want to express my thoughts a

bit further on each post so I can get to the bottom of this.

 

My brother has been homeless the majority of his life. He moved to

Arizona because Illinois winters will kill a person.

 

When I had my head up my but, I once told him that he didn't have to

live like that and he said he knows this, but it's his choice and has

been living this way for so long there would be no point in changing

it now. I didn't understand him, but I have more respect for him now

than I did back then. It's not easy for him and it wouldn't be any

easier for me either.

 

I seen Peaceful Warrior over a year ago, and it was about the time I

was reading " The Power of Now " and it really resonated with me. I

think maybe I fell back into the trap of living in my head again. I

don't like living there, and maybe that's what is going on?

 

After I get caught up on my chores of family living I will get back

to this post.

 

Thanks to all of you who responded

Peace to everyone

Tammy

 

 

 

 

 

, " escapi247 "

<escapi247 wrote:

>

> Tammy,

>

> I completely resonate with your feeling. I am going through

something

> similar. I saw 'Into the Wild' 5 weeks back, and just wanted to do

> this thing, for the sake of experiencing how it feels to

> be 'homeless'. I m sure we all know what such actions could mean to

> each of our lives. This kind of urge to break free and live life on

> an existential realm (living life for today, not storing for

> tomorrow.. etc) is somthing that is inherent in each one of us. It

> manifests in each of us in a different way.

>

> Siddartha experienced it before being buddha, Shankaracharya took

to

> sanyasa at the age of 8 and gave advaitha to the common man. This

> yearning is quite natural for the human spirit to be free, to be

one

> with nature and spirit, and to find itself and its root self, the

> cosmos.

>

> My advice to you. Follow your inner voice. I m sure you will agree

> that being homeless is not a bad situation, as long as you are

> comletley ready to walk the path. Having said this, there will be

an

> impact on your current life, your family and kid. This moral

dilemma

> is one of the painful choices to make. it may not be very painful

if

> you know that you are doing this for urself. One can work out all

> this.

>

> As others have indicated, Try out getting out and living in a

resort,

> just do something for yourself that you wanted to do for a long

time.

> Take a long walk trip or pilgrimage to wilderness. You will find

> oneness in yourself.

>

> Having said this, i think we can be free whereever we are, in

> whatever we do, allow our free will to guide us. This could be in

> wilderness or in our living rooms, kitchen or board rooms.

>

> What is calling you? Respect the calling. Be one with the

calling.

>

> Love and blessings, keshav

>

> , " Tammy "

> <earned_wings@> wrote:

> >

> > For the past 10 years I have had dreams of being homeless that

> would

> > irritate me to no end upon waking. As I have worked real hard at

> > healing my trauma and inner turmoil the homeless dreams have

almost

> > stopped.

> >

> > Now, on a rare occasion when I have a homeless dream I

immediately

> > find a home. I had one recently and went into someone's home

> without

> > invitation and was accepted. I started to look for a job in

order

> to

> > get my own place.

> >

> > Here is the kicker. I want to be homeless in waking life for a

> > while. I want to move to Arizona and live on the campground in a

> > tent and " just be " . I only want books to read, and maybe some

sort

> > of craft set. Of course I will need food and water and the

ability

> > to bathe. No attachments to things or people though.

> >

> > I watched a movie about 6 months ago called " Into the Wild " that

> was

> > based on a true story. A young man finishes college and then

> decides

> > to be homeless and travel. He didn't want to be part of

societies

> > constant peruse of material things. I wont tell anyone the rest

so

> I

> > won't spoil it. But I totally understood his character.

> >

> > Being homeless makes me think that there will be less ego

> involved.

> > If my ego is removed I could speed up this healing process while

> > being outside with nature, reading and working on creativity.

> >

> > Of course I can't go because I have a young child and I'm

married,

> > but this thought has occupied my mind for a while and it's

starting

> > to get intense.

> >

> > I don't know what to think of it, but I do know that would be

very

> > hurtful to my daughter and husband to do this and I get the

feeling

> > that the law of attraction is working on me and that something

will

> > happen to cause me to have no reason to stay where I'm at. I

don't

> > want anything to happen to the people I love just so I can go be

> > homeless and experience the shame of having no real purpose or

> > identity.

> >

> > Any thoughts on this unusual thinking? Am I crazier than I

thought

> > or is something going on inside of me that can't be explained?

Or

> > maybe someone has heard of this and understands it. Please

> enlighten

> > me if anyone knows where this is coming from.

> >

> > I told my therapist about it and he didn't like the idea. But,

at

> > least he didn't try to push an anti-psychotic drug on me.

> >

> > Tammy

> >

>

[Guest guest]

For what it's worth, here are my two cents....

 

Between the Solstice, the moon, the end of the year, the Shaktipat and

the Sitepat, there's lots of transformational energy coursing through

all of us right now. I like to think of it as energy for inner

transformation and transcendence. Sometimes inner and energetic

transformation requires or leads to transformation of outer

circumstances, but not always.

 

>> Being homeless makes me think that there will be less ego involved.

If my ego is removed I could speed up this healing process while

being outside with nature, reading and working on creativity.

 

As Buckaroo Banzai said, " Wherever you go, there you are. " Homeless or

not, you can take your ego with you or leave it behind. I believe that

this is more of an inner thing and not so dependent upon outer

circumstances, although outer circumstances definitely provide tests

and act as a mirror to show us how well or poorly we may be doing.

 

>> I don't want anything to happen to the people I love just so I can

go be homeless and experience the shame of having no real purpose or

identity.

 

Although it's laudible to not want to harm others, we each individually

have our own karma and karmic responsibilities. Sometimes others (or

we ourselves) have to have certain educational experiences. Sometimes

these experiences are painful. I'm not saying you should therefore

decide to go homeless; by the same token the very elements of your own

current circumstances that make homelessness appealing may well be

experiences for which you signed up before you incarnated. I do not

know -- you have to figure/feel this out for yourself. As for

experiencing " the shame of having no real purpose or identity " , there's

not necessarily any shame in having no real purpose or identity.

Similar words have probably been used to describe various sadhus

throughout history. Lao Tzu comes to mind.

 

In the end you have to follow your heart. But I like Skydancer's

advice about the perspective shifts that can occur during the

Shaktipat. I think Skydancer's words are worth repeating here:

 

>> All emotions and Kundalini experiences will be felt stronger and have

more effect on your dreams and decisions. Be warned that how you feel

in the next two weeks may not be how you feel in the new year. Please

do not make rash decisions regarding loved ones, jobs or home, untill

the whole phenomena is over in the second week of January.

 

With love,

 

David

[Guest guest]

Hi Tammy,

 

my thoughts on the matter. Being at home is an inner place of

relaxation and acceptance, which I have been fortunate to arrive at,

greatly helped by the kundalini process. Even if you went and lived

in a tent, you would still have to go though an internal letting go

process of the attachments to the world you may be feeling.

 

There is value in that, as attachments that you may not be aware of

will come into awareness in such a situation. Personally, I feel that

the desire to be free is the soul wishing to liberate itself from

inner attachmens, and that desire will be projected onto an imagined

world of freedom and liberation, such as a homeless existance.

 

Sure, it would be an interesting experiment to go and do that.

However, it could also be just as interesting an experiment to ask

what it would mean to feel liberated and free within the midst of

your responsibilities, 'being in the world but not of it'. What would

it mean to ihnabit your responsibilities with freedom and creativity,

as you seem to desire?

 

The path through this is to bring awareness to the self contraction,

to the inner tension that seems to only be able to be released

through acting on your impulse. Thats the source of suffering. As you

continue to notice the desire to be homeless, just letting it be

there, without getting caught up in the story, it will most likely

grow in intensity until it becomes almost unbearable, and then it

will be released (self liberated) through the grace of awareness.

Then you will find freedom is within you, and freedom is an inner

state of release.

 

I went on many escapades around the world to realize this. A poem by

Rabindranath Tagore comes to mind...

 

" Journey Home

 

The time that my journey takes is long and the way of it long.

I came out on the chariot of the first gleam of light, and pursued my

voyage through the wildernesses of worlds leaving my track on many a

star and planet.

 

It is the most distant course that comes nearest to thyself,

and that training is the most intricate which leads to the utter

simplicity of a tune.

The traveler has to knock at every alien door to come to his own,

and one has to wander through all the outer worlds to reach the

innermost shrine at the end.

My eyes strayed far and wide before I shut them and said `Here art

thou!'

The question and the cry `Oh, where?' melt into tears of a thousand

streams and deluge the world with the flood of the assurance `I am!'

 

 

with love

Bruce

[Guest guest]

Re: Becoming Homeless

Hi Tammy,

 

I'm thinking that for the sake of your child and your searching heart go with the suggestions from Rick and John. In doing so you may gain the power to transmute the energy from those thoughts that give you angst into the freedom that John speaks about. Love and living with your child is the greatest gift that you can give. -Anna

 

John wrote:

 

....Let go of the notion that there is a fence around you made from the roles that you play within and outside of your family Suspicious message? There’s an alert for that. Get your Hotmail® account now.

[Guest guest]

Hi Daniel,

 

I have thought about this and meditated on it for a long while and

this answer is what resonated with me.

 

I believe I've been homeless in my dreams because I didn't know my

own identity. As I'm starting to come home to my inner self, I

thought I wanted to leave because it's an uncomfortable feeling. One

I've 'never' known. I guess literally being homeless would feel

equally as uncomfortable as being spiritually homeless.

 

There is a HUGE change taking place in my soul. It was broken and a

huge gap has laid open for so long, that I felt homeless in

everyway. Earth, mind, spirit, body, soul etc.

 

Now that I'm finding myself and seeing how it's coming together as my

soul is healing, it produces unknown feelings of uncertainty, which

always make me want to run. With any significant change there will

be uncomfortable feelings. So now I am just trying to accept the

uncomfortable feelings and realize it's part of the process of

becoming whole.

 

Also, in addition to coming home to myself there is a sense of

freedom that I long for. I think everyone feels this way from time

to time unless they are truly enlightened.

 

As far as being homeless, I think it would be an experience that I

would accept. I won't make it happen though. But if the situation

ever presents itself down the road, when my children are grown or if

something goes wrong in my marriage I probably will see what it's

like (not indefinitely though).

 

Anyway, I have made the decision to stay put and work on myself with

my family in my presence.

 

I'm sorry I didn't address every post like I wanted to. However,

each post has helped me in this journey and I thank each and every

one of you for responding.

 

Tammy

 

 

 

, " daniel nagle "

<rkundalini wrote:

>

> Hi Tammy,

>

> Hi John and Rick also,

>

> I would agree with all the previous points.

>

> My experience of what you speak is what I call " coming home " . The

spirit or

> essence in you is wanting to take its place, to be more active in

your life.

> John is saying the same thing about an open space and removing the

fence

> your roles have put you in.

[Guest guest]

Hi Julie, Thank you for offering such a realistic opportunity for me

to fully understand the implications of what I was considering. I

think you really made a good point and should use this post as a

reference again if anyone else ever comes in here with the homeless

issue like I did.

 

I already know about being homeless because I was for two days when I

was a teenager. I had to sleep on my friend's garage one night and

in the park another. It was very scary and I was lucky it was summer.

 

My brother is homeless and has been the majority of his life. About

every 3 years he shows up at my door and stays with me for a month or

two. I understand homelessness to a certain degree, but I'm sure the

way you see it is far worse than I can imagine.

 

Take care

Tammy

 

 

 

, Julie

<jewelport wrote:

>

> Dear Tammy,

> Please come to work with me for a week or so before you head out on

this journey.  Most often, homelessness is not a choice; and the

people who find themselves in this situation would love to trade

places with you or anyone of us who has a roof over our heads.  There

is a reason I know who these people are when they walk into the lobby

seeking a cup of coffee, food, or bathroom.  They are ravaged,

physically and mentally.  Their eyes are hollow,  as are their

cheekbones from hunger and lack of teeth.  What you are describing is

not homelessness; it is a trip to a resort.  Sitting outside,

reading, working on creativity, and having your food provided is not

homelessness.  A church put a homeless couple into a room for the

night as an act of charity for the season.  These people broke my

hearts when they wandered into the lobby, barefooted, and had to be

forced to leave the next day.  I wondered if this act actually helped

these people.  Yes, a

> night of a comfortable bed, a hot shower, and a continental

breakfast was nice; but the next day, being thrown back out to the

streets. (And they did not want to leave) I couldn't help but think

the money would have been better spent on blankets, coats, or food. 

>  

> Thank you for sharing these innermost thoughts.  All young mothers

probably have had the thought of leaving home.  It is a hard job, and

sometimes seems that the hard work does not reap benefit or

appreciation at the moment.  But in time, it does.  It is returned to

you hundredfold.  A documentary, based on a lifechoice, may be

different from reality-based existence where there is no choice.

>  

> Just some thoughts before I go out again to face the hungry,

homeless, and sometimes mindless reminder of the poverty that does

exist in our country today.

>  

> Dear Tammy, you are in my prayers, as I had some of these same

thoughts years ago, maybe not wanting to be homeless, but definitely

free.  Perhaps you are too young to remember the words of Janice

Joplin, " Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. "

>  

> Namaste,

>

>

>  

> Julie

[Guest guest]

This whole thread is very interesting, I never thought of wanting to be homeless

but I can

understand wanting to be free of some of this constricting responsibility. In

my earlier

post I talked about being more connected as a child and think some of that comes

from, I

don't want say freedom of responsibility, but something like that… maybe freedom

from

the worries of the material world.

 

Tammy, I would offer the suggestion of lessing your material worries if at all

possible. I

think you would seriously regret leaving your family but maybe together you and

you

family can lesson the responsibility burden by have less material possessions.

 

I only say this from my own experiences… I have a home full of stuff that I

can't wait to

shed. I became a parent at 17 and worked very hard to build a life for my self

and my

son. I have actually done quit well in the material world but now I just want

it all gone…

it's holding me down. I want a much simpler life, not homeless but much more

simple.

 

My son is going off to college next fall and I cannot wait to sell this house

and rid my self

of these things and live in a small simply place. With out all the bills that

go along with

these possessions, I can now take a job that matters. A job that actually helps

people and

makes the world a better place. I don't know if that makes since but that is my

goal.

Also as another person said take time for yourself as mothers we do not do this

enough.

 

 

, " Tammy "

<earned_wings wrote:

>

> For the past 10 years I have had dreams of being homeless that would

> irritate me to no end upon waking.

[Guest guest]

Tammy

The saying is that the son of man has no place to rest his head.

Quite often i feel that life is so mundane. Owning a house has never

really interested me, though i did have land. At one time with the

idea of building my own little Idahoe. Though after obtaining usage

of the land i never thought it was mine, I could not really see my

self as a farmer nor a hippy either. I removed all the debt and had

it out right ai put two large dams on it, Cleared to build house and

had plans drawn up for it. I also built a bridge over the water way.

Though i still could not imagine me living there though i did try to.

I use to think that all i wanted to do is creat an ideal around the

isolation of peace. Though always wondered when i get there what

would i do.

Many years before this I look at living on an ashram, I thought i

could live there though found I could not. Kundalini is strong there

and desires in many instances were fullfilled almost as I thought of

them. The mind trips and mind games people played just did not seem

to interest me.

This is the song that took me to investigate the sannyas lifestyle,

it still gives me shivers and tingles in my spine. Maybe you will

identify with that to. It is some times called the song of the free.

http://www.ariseawake.com/poems/TheSongoftheSannyasin.html

 

John .M

[Guest guest]

Hi Tammy! You have so much going on with you right now, you are bound to feel out of sorts at times. Your homeless dreams have slowed down and when you have one you aren't homeless for long right? A sign that you are getting closer to the answers.

I have not felt like I wanted to be homeless, but I do go through periods of wanting to be like a hermit. I don't want to talk to anyone or be around other people. My family and friends take great offense to this. I can't explain to them why I am doing it, because they wouldn't understand. Thank God my hubby knows the deal and is used to the strange goings on around our house, LOL.

I have watched you grow the past few years, you are doing wonderful! There will be more uncomfortable and out of sorts times to come, but the payoff is fantastic. You have the determination to get there and I know you will make it through with flying colors. Whenever you get discouraged, just look behind you at how far you've come already!

Sarita

, "Tammy" <earned_wings wrote:>> Hi Daniel,> > I have thought about this and meditated on it for a long while and > this answer is what resonated with me.> > I believe I've been homeless in my dreams because I didn't know my > own identity. As I'm starting to come home to my inner self, I > thought I wanted to leave because it's an uncomfortable feeling. One > I've 'never' known. I guess literally being homeless would feel > equally as uncomfortable as being spiritually homeless.

[Guest guest]

I feel the same way Jademoon. I am no longer interested in possessions and I long to pare things down, get rid of stuff we no longer need. My hubby still wants to hold onto things, which is an issue from his childhood when his possessions were given away without his consent. I throw out or give away lots of stuff nowadays. It gets it out of my house and helps others who are in need.

Sarita

, "jadenmoon1212" <cbraun73 wrote:>> This whole thread is very interesting, I never thought of wanting to be homeless but I can > understand wanting to be free of some of this constricting responsibility. In my earlier > post I talked about being more connected as a child and think some of that comes from, I > don't want say freedom of responsibility, but something like that… maybe freedom from > the worries of the material world.

[Guest guest]

Hello Jade,

 

I don't have but a few material things. The only thing I own of

value is a 2006 truck. I have nothing else of value; so material

things have not been an issue for me for a very long time.

 

My computer is outdated and so are my cloths. My home belongs to my

husband and I don't see it as half mine. If I left I wouldn't take

anything from it but my cloths and personal effects.

 

I've been down sizing on what little I had in the past 4 years

because I knew that I would get to a point that I could no longer

work 40 hours a week and still keep my sanity. I work very part time

and can barely pay for the things I have to have, let alone the few

things I want.

 

I only allow myself to get my hair cut once a year. Otherwise, I do

it myself. I'm frugal to a fault, but I appreciate your thoughts.

 

Tammy

 

, " jadenmoon1212 "

<cbraun73 wrote:

>

> This whole thread is very interesting, I never thought of wanting

to be homeless but I can

> understand wanting to be free of some of this constricting

responsibility. In my earlier

> post I talked about being more connected as a child and think some

of that comes from, I

> don't want say freedom of responsibility, but something like that…

maybe freedom from

> the worries of the material world.

>

> Tammy, I would offer the suggestion of lessing your material

worries if at all possible. I

> think you would seriously regret leaving your family but maybe

together you and you

> family can lesson the responsibility burden by have less material

possessions.

>

> I only say this from my own experiences… I have a home full of

stuff that I can't wait to

> shed. I became a parent at 17 and worked very hard to build a life

for my self and my

> son. I have actually done quit well in the material world but now

I just want it all gone…

> it's holding me down. I want a much simpler life, not homeless but

much more simple.

>

> My son is going off to college next fall and I cannot wait to sell

this house and rid my self

> of these things and live in a small simply place. With out all the

bills that go along with

> these possessions, I can now take a job that matters. A job that

actually helps people and

> makes the world a better place. I don't know if that makes since

but that is my goal.

> Also as another person said take time for yourself as mothers we do

not do this enough.

[Guest guest]

We are never truly homeless. We have bodies and they give us all we

need including the urges for attaining what we need to keep it

healthy. I feel you are doing well Tammy. Keep the truck! - blessings

to you! - chrism

[Guest guest]

Oh Heaven, What an epiphany I just had. This post just reminded me of

the dreams I used to have. I've only had a few of them since I

started interpreting dreams sometime about 4 years ago.

 

These dreams irritated me as much as the homeless dreams.

 

The dreams were always about someone stealing my car and wreaking it

to the point it wouldn't drive (Usually my Dad or Step Mom). The

scenarios would change in each dream. Sometimes I would try to find

the car and get it fixed. Most of the time I could never find the

car. Sometimes I would threaten to sue or beg for them to pay to get

it fixed. I must have had at least 50 of those dreams in my life.

 

The second to last dream I had, it was my ex who wrecked my car and I

went to the repair shop and seen my car was being worked on. The

last dream I had was where my ex brought me my car and said; " I found

your car for you " . I was disappointed in the dream because it was

old and rusty. (I think this last dream was about 2 years ago)

 

Those wrecked car dreams always meant a sense of freedom was lost in

my waking mind. I didn't know how to interpret dreams then and based

this meaning on a problem I had once. Someone wrecked a brand new car

of mine when I was in my early 20's and the insurance had lapsed. I

continued to pay the payments while trying to save money to have it

repaired. It was such a horrible experience not having a car to get

to work and having to walk out in the freezing cold and I really did

feel like I lost a lot of freedom by not having a car. I had to stay

home or walk out in the freezing cold if I wanted to go somewhere.

Then when you add a child into the mix it gets even scarier.

 

Now that I know how to interpret dreams I realize that the car

generally represents our journey in life or it can stand in for our

body.

 

Since I've been healing I stopped blaming my dad for my problems and

the car dreams stopped. My ex is bringing me the wrecked car (now

fixed) and this would indicate I found the source of the problem and

fixed it by not blaming my dad for some of my misfortunes in this

journey. However, the car/journey needs some serious work done. It

was far from brand new and looked as if it could break down at any

given point in the last dream.

 

Yes, I will keep the truck chrism *smile*

 

Thanks

Tammy

 

 

 

 

, " chrism "

<> wrote:

>

> We are never truly homeless. We have bodies and they give us all we

> need including the urges for attaining what we need to keep it

> healthy. I feel you are doing well Tammy. Keep the truck! -

blessings

> to you! - chrism

>

[Guest guest]

Hi John, I can see how that poem inspired you. It's amazing how some

simple words written by people who have already been 'there' can

bring clarity into our lives.

 

I didn't get chills in my spine but I did find it a wonderful poem.

 

Thanks for sharing it with me.

Tammy

 

, " johndplumber "

<jaganatha wrote:

>

> Tammy

> The saying is that the son of man has no place to rest his head.

> Quite often i feel that life is so mundane. Owning a house has

never

> really interested me, though i did have land. At one time with the

> idea of building my own little Idahoe. Though after obtaining usage

> of the land i never thought it was mine, I could not really see my

> self as a farmer nor a hippy either. I removed all the debt and had

> it out right ai put two large dams on it, Cleared to build house

and

> had plans drawn up for it. I also built a bridge over the water way.

> Though i still could not imagine me living there though i did try

to.

> I use to think that all i wanted to do is creat an ideal around the

> isolation of peace. Though always wondered when i get there what

> would i do.

> Many years before this I look at living on an ashram, I thought i

> could live there though found I could not. Kundalini is strong

there

> and desires in many instances were fullfilled almost as I thought

of

> them. The mind trips and mind games people played just did not seem

> to interest me.

> This is the song that took me to investigate the sannyas lifestyle,

> it still gives me shivers and tingles in my spine. Maybe you will

> identify with that to. It is some times called the song of the free.

> http://www.ariseawake.com/poems/TheSongoftheSannyasin.html

>

> John .M

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Sarita, I do remember you telling me a big change was coming my

way around 8 months ago and I would do good if I could stick with

it. I've been going through so many changes (ups and downs) that I

sometimes don't know if I'm coming or going.

 

I am concerned the fear hasn't left me completely even though I've

went through a series of fear based tests before I joined LOL. I'm

feeling more courageous than ever, but we both know I haven't

experienced all that is out there, and fear was my biggest concern.

 

Now I need to forget about the anger and change my mind because I

have this sneaky suspicion I won't get to the bottom of it by

continuing the path I'm on by trying to resolve it, which is reading

about it and constantly analyzing it. That simply is not working out

so there has to be another way.

 

It's nice that Brandi helped me figure out that I don't have to have

the answers to something in order to move forward. If I had known

that was holding me back so much I would have changed it sooner. The

only thing is I just realized it yesterday.

 

If the payoff here in the K is anything like the pay off from doing

dream work, then I know it will be well worth it.

 

> " Whenever you get

> discouraged, just look behind you at how far you've come already! "

 

As far as looking back when I doubt myself, well I want to make a

joke about looking back into the past, but I will refrain from it

*wink*

 

Love ya

Tammy

 

, " Sarita "

<sarita1969 wrote:

>

>

> Hi Tammy! You have so much going on with you right now, you are

bound

> to feel out of sorts at times. Your homeless dreams have slowed

down

> and when you have one you aren't homeless for long right? A sign

that

> you are getting closer to the answers.

>

> I have not felt like I wanted to be homeless, but I do go through

> periods of wanting to be like a hermit. I don't want to talk to

anyone

> or be around other people. My family and friends take great

offense to

> this. I can't explain to them why I am doing it, because they

wouldn't

> understand. Thank God my hubby knows the deal and is used to the

> strange goings on around our house, LOL.

>

> I have watched you grow the past few years, you are doing

wonderful!

> There will be more uncomfortable and out of sorts times to come,

but the

> payoff is fantastic. You have the determination to get there and I

know

> you will make it through with flying colors. Whenever you get

> discouraged, just look behind you at how far you've come already!

>

> Sarita

[Guest guest]

, "Tammy" <earned_wings wrote:>> Hi Sarita, I do remember you telling me a big change was coming my > way around 8 months ago and I would do good if I could stick with > it. I've been going through so many changes (ups and downs) that I > sometimes don't know if I'm coming or going.

I often don't know if I am coming or going either, LOL! The longer I spend here and with the K I see that riding the waves, rather than trying to fight them, is the way to go.> > I am concerned the fear hasn't left me completely even though I've > went through a series of fear based tests before I joined LOL. I'm > feeling more courageous than ever, but we both know I haven't > experienced all that is out there, and fear was my biggest concern.

I have had a lot of fear in certain areas, but the things that sent me screaming a few years ago are now old hat. It is a matter of perspective and experience imo. You are a very courageous woman. There will be more fear tests that you haven't experienced yet, but you have a lot of support right here, and better yet - nobody will think you are crazy.> > Now I need to forget about the anger and change my mind because I > have this sneaky suspicion I won't get to the bottom of it by > continuing the path I'm on by trying to resolve it, which is reading > about it and constantly analyzing it. That simply is not working out > so there has to be another way.

Reading is great, but doing something about it is far more effective. We can read about ice skating or riding a bike but we don't learn how to balance until we are in action. Sometimes we just have to jump into the water feet first, scary as that can be.> > It's nice that Brandi helped me figure out that I don't have to have > the answers to something in order to move forward. If I had known > that was holding me back so much I would have changed it sooner. The > only thing is I just realized it yesterday.

You are having lots of epiphanies lately! I'm glad that you are using Brandi's help in a constructive way. I remember a time that might not have happened. Everything is a lesson though, not to worry about being held back as all comes in the right time.> > If the payoff here in the K is anything like the pay off from doing > dream work, then I know it will be well worth it.

For me, the payoff with the K has been far greater than dreamwork. I can't speak for you and what you will experience, but I have a feeling it will be the same. Just like dreamwork, it won't happen overnight. I think those who are looking for immediate gratification will be sorely disappointed. The K demands that we do the work, no free rides!> > >"Whenever you get> > discouraged, just look behind you at how far you've come already!"> > As far as looking back when I doubt myself, well I want to make a > joke about looking back into the past, but I will refrain from it > *wink*

ROTFLMAO! I'm glad you can look at that with some humor!

Hugs,

Sarita

> > Love ya> Tammy

[Guest guest]

Tammy said, "I am concerned the fear hasn't left me completely even though I've went through a series of fear based tests before I joined LOL. I'm feeling more courageous than ever, but we both know I haven't experienced all that is out there, and fear was my biggest concern."

I don't know who said it, but I read this somewhere and have always remembered it:Courage is a gift from fear.

Carolyn (new to list)

__________________'Beliefs are those things we hold to be true, and which are instrumental in creating our actions and our experience of life.'